September 2014 - Rocking and Rolling

[FATEdestiny]

Our babies are rocking and rolling, crawling and climbing into the second half of their first year.

Let the fun continue...

Lil, b is having 400ml a day milk if I'm lucky - 200ml in the morning and 200 just before bed.

Onto my favourite topic...poo. Teething poos. Are these rank, stringy, smelly and generally disgusting? Please say yes.

Holls - Yes they are!

Lilly - I see what you mean. Yes, the official line is that babies should still be having milk, though some don't, but if he takes it happily then i'd probably offer it whether he asks for it or not. I always offer DD milk and if she refuses then fine, at least then I know she's not hungry/thirsty. She's so busy playing/crawling/causing general mayhem that she won't ask for food or drink but you only know if she's hungry/thirsty when it's been offered! I give 3 7oz bottles a day and she sometimes drinks it all or leaves anyway between 1oz and 6oz, so it does vary. For me, it's not consistent enough to reduce any milk offered. HV did say this week though that 2 bottles a day with an afternoon snack instead of milk would also be fine.

KitKat - You do have a little milk monster! Just a random thought about finger food, whether she actually knows if it's food and not a toy. Have you tried eating a bit of the biscuit before passing it to her? I only say because DD saw me eating a chocolate and wanted some but she could only get the wrapper, because the wrapper had been part of the chocolate she tried to eat it (rather than chewing/mouthing) where she wouldn't normally. I do also eat bits of her food to remind her what it's for when she's got to carried away with playing with it and that usually brings her back to the task at hand!

I eat at the same time to encourage it. Pasta is a favourite finger food here, he's not fond of sweet things really.

Poor DS had blood take to test for allergies today, I felt so bad for him

Aw I ordered name labels for starting nursery and got a yellow smiley face with his name as he's a super smiley baby. Of course then my mum points out that it's the acid/lsd face oops. I'm sure no one will make the connection . I'm clearly too innocent!

acorn I didn't know that about the acid, so clearly I am innocent too :)

With leaks you could try doubling up (although that never worked for us) or using a sanitary towel (we find try that one) what worked for us (leaking at night) was stopping night feeds.

Re milk: E has 3, 7oz (210ml) a day, when he wakes, at 2, and before bath his usually 6.30.

E started nursery like a duck to water and I am back to work!

KitKat I just wouldn't focus on eating finger foods. For a long time DD would have a jar of baby food for 'starter', then yoghurt - so all spoon fed so far. Then in order to keep her entertained and occupied while the rest of us had dinner I would leave her in the highchair and pop a few bits of what we were having on the tray. By this point she had already had her dinner so it didn't matter if she ate or not. She just played with it at first.

DD is a milk monster and would have milk as much as possible if I let her. She has 3 or 4 8oz bottles of formula per day.

I believe that the recommendation is that children under 2 should have 1 pint (20oz) of milk per day. This includes dairy in food though, so not just milk.

Kitkat I was going to suggest the same thing- when she is not super hungry, perhaps you could sit her down in her highchair and put a few finger food in front of her and you could sit at table eating the same. Does she sit at the table with you? If she is not hungry or tired and you have her attention she may try to copy you. I would sit at the other side of table so she clearly feels you sitting down and doing your own thing ... Sometimes ds has his seconds like this when dh and I have dinner...

Lilly i completely understand the dilemma between bf and ff,and I would honestly go for ff during days otherwise you'll have to start weaning off again in a while, and have disrupted working days in the beginning , etc. But I don't quite understand your dilemma about ff and/or cow milk - i would defo offer what he wants; he is a good eater and milk is good for babies, no? And why a rush to introduce cow milk? Nursery should easily do the formula for you until you decide to switch to cow milk... From my understanding it is the other way around: cow milk is not good before 1 but formula is ok after one... You'll have plenty of time to wean off to cow's milk then, no?

We are doing the same for birthday : a day out on the day and then dinner with grannies on Sat - we have no other close relatives around then.

Can I now ask a question ladies about my new monster topic - sleep:

Anybody knows of a book, or an idea, or a method to sleep train a baby who is both breastfeeding and co sleeping ? Surprisingly with a quick search I couldn't find anything. I am planning to take a week off in a couple of months just to focus on sleep. It can't continue the way it has been... I am thinking should I first start putting him in his cot every time he wakes after feeding him first, so he learns he is now sleeping in the cot first and then refuse to breastfeed him -after he was fine with sleeping in his own cot? Or should I just go cold turkey, no co sleeping and no bf either ¿? I should add currently when i try to get him back to sleep without nursing most or the time he goes absolutely crazy and wakes completely then and goes to such a state you'd think the most terrible thing has happened !!

Has anybody had help from the sleep board on MN by the way? I don't check it regularly. i wonder if I should post there, or am I going to get loads of answers like all your own fault, how could you ever co sleep at this age, etc. Etc.

Posted On sleep-board :)

nazly read your post in sleep, I am wondering the exact same thing. From the books I've read, which are pro cosleeping and bfing, it does stop naturally...but not for years quite a while. I think even in cot sleeping, trained babies there's still a lot of cosleeping when they're a lot older and able to just climb in but I'm basing that again on what I've read (often on the sleep board!)

I'm just hoping it'll sort itself really. We're down to 2 or 3 night feeds which is an improvement so I feel like if i carry on it might keep getting better. He just flips out if I don't feed him too, and the main problem is I think I'll just replace feeding with rocking which is even worse! Plus I still have the worry that he's in pain from reflux or his allergies or teething and if he wants a feed for a bit of comfort then it seems wrong to deprive him. I'll see how i cope when I'm back at work. And also in the future if we decide to have another then changes might have to be made n

Thanks Fate and Nazly for the idea of letting her watch us eat. That's a good idea. She's bloody hard work with eating in general. She's recently decided she doesn't like most of the baby jars which is annoying and why I'd like her to learn how to feed herself as currently I'm having to just hand-feed her solid food all the time. There are some things she really likes - breadsticks, cheese triangles, avocado, baby biscuits cake etc that she will eat happily but it's a limited diet and if she doesn't like something she will just clamp her mouth and refuse to eat anymore.

Nazly I'm guessing from your post that you don't want to co-sleep anymore and would rather he slept in his cot. Plus he's waking a lot still I take it? We had to do a bit of gentle self-settling training with Jessica as she was a clingy sleeper too, and hopefully if he becomes more able to self-settle he won't be so reliant on being bf to go back to sleep. What we did with Jessica and what you could do with your DS is after he is fed and tired, start putting him in his cot when he is very nearly (but not quite) asleep and when if he wakes up just repeat ad nauseum and give him a cuddle etc and get him settled / nearly asleep and put him down again. EVENTUALLY he will fall asleep but I warn that with Jessica it used to take a couple of hours sometimes at first, but it'll gradually take less and less time for him to fall asleep. It's important that he isn't fully asleep when you put him down as apparently babies tend to open their eyes intermittently when sleeping just to do an 'environment check' and check everything is still safe, so if he finds that he is not with you suddenly and he was when he went to sleep, that will scare him into waking up properly, whereas if he was in his cot when he went to sleep he won't need to panic. Not sure if that makes sense? That's how my HV told us to do it and did work although it took a while. Eventually you progress to putting baby down more and more awake until now when we put Jessica down fully awake and leave her for 10 mins to self-settle to sleep. If she's still awake after 10 minutes we go back and try to settle her a bit and then repeat. 90% of the time she settles on either the 1st or 2nd attempt. That's not to say she's a perfect sleeper but she's nearly there. We're having intermittent nights of sleeping through, including last night (she went 7.45pm - 6.15am! Wahoo!) and mainly nights of only 1 wake-up for a drink / feed (usually at about 3-4am) before sleeping until about 6.30ish. I'm hoping in time the sleeping through nights will become the norm. This has taken a LOT of work though as she was an absolutely shit sleeper. At her worst she used to wake nearly hourly and I was going insane. So just to warn you that it is hard work and does take a long time, but is worth it. Obviously there's also like CC if you want a quicker method, but I wimped out of that one, but I know a lot of parents swear by it. I hope you get some sleep soon. xxx

nazly, we weaned from Co sleeping in april (prior to crawling). we kept ds in his co sleeper cot and dp slept with him (on the other side of the bed) and I slept on the sofa for 10 nights, going back to bed and lying down to feed him whenever he woke. then we moved the cot slightly away from the bed, put the side back on and I went back into our bed and got up and picked him up and sat in the chair to feed him when he woke. we went to pil in may and he had his own room there and slept brilliantly, so we put him in the en suite when we got back.

I think we have night weaned this week. we decided no more b/f to sleep at naps/bedtime. dp had to lay him down from standing 43 times the 1st night, but he was much better since. some naps were in the buggy, some in the cot. we also discovered ds would go back to sleep at night with dp patting/shushing/lying him down. so the 1st goal was to get to 2230. we had a really awful night were he wad v upset for an hr, but it was because we were silly amateurs and didn't realise he was thirsty, poor boy. he went straight to sleep after we gave him some water. he woke at 230 and I fed him, so then I didn't feed him before 230, just offered water and shushhed/patted/lay him down. then he made it to 430 and today 615. it's been ok, he was only really upset that 1 time and we were with him anyway. he does struggle to get himself back off to sleep in the night and has sometimes been up for an hr or 2, but he has needed less and less comforting. last 2 nights I have mostly stayed in bed making shhh noises

Good luck with the sleep Nazly, bf, co-sleeping AND being back at work sounds exhausting. What a wonder woman you are!

Can I ask a totally random q? Has anyone used a wedding creche and would you? My friend seems really really keen for me to put dd in the creche she's booked for her wedding when dd will have just turned one, and keeps bringing it up despite me telling her months ago, quite too? tactfully that I didn't think it would work for dd. Hmmm...

Hmmm. I think I'd probably prefer either my Mum or MiL to look after baby, rather than some random at a crèche. I suppose it would depend how desperately in need of childcare I was.

FATE I think that's it, I'd rather DD had a late night and a dance with us than was left alone with some random. My mum's actually going to the wedding as well, and is happy to help. Friend really doesn't seem to want kids at speeches, supposedly so we can all 'enjoy' them, but who really enjoys speeches at a wedding other than a the B&G...??

my friend has sone babysitters arranged at his wedding. ds would love it, but dd (nearly 3) would hate it. depends on the child, but I plan to leave ds with them for some of the day so I can enjoy myself. ..while dp looks after dd

It may be a polite way for your friend to say "Children are not welcome at the reception, but we would really like you to come and not be offended by our no-children request".

Which I think it is reasonable, given how much a wedding costs a couple. If they don't want babies/children present then that is totally their prerogative.

If it was me I would be seeking alternate childcare for my child, rather than no childcare and expecting baby to stay with me when that isn't what the B&G want.

Yeah that might be the case FATE. Tbh I usually prefer to leave DD with the GPs for weddings and similar, but this is a 3-day affair and 4 hours from home so not an option for them to have her for part of the time either.

I know it's everyone's own choice but I do think it's a shame how anti-children weddings seem to be these days!

Weddings cause such controversy don't they?! We know few people with children and DS is the only baby in the family so it hasn't really been an issue for us.

He crawled this morning! 10.5 months and finally did it. I am so pleased for him but not so much for me lol. I think it's about to get very hard.

Thanks for all the comments re breastfeeding etc. I think I'm just upset it's come to an end and it's not how I imagined it. But we still bf first thing which is nice. I'm sure I'll get over it. And I am giving him a bottle of formula if we are at home during the day. So he's having (usually) one breastfeed, 6oz formula day time and then 6oz at bed time. Plus dairy in his diet. Does that sound ok?

How long are the B&G expecting to be child-free? If it's just an hour or so for the speeches then if it was me I'd have a look in the crèche and consider that if it looked OK. Alternatively I'd probably share with DH (and Mum, if she was there) taking baby elsewhere for that time.

If B&G were expecting the whole evening child free then I'd probably just show my face at reception and then politely leave, spend the evening with the family. Then join in the rest of the 3 day event from the following day.

If children weren't welcome for the whole 3 day event - I'd either decline the invitation completely or use it as a fantastic child-free opportunity for me and DH, if I someone would look after the children at home.

Lilly - Yay for your crawling baby! The amount of milk/dairy in your LBs diet sounds fine to me. Reducing breastfeeds is always going to be emotional - not least because of the change in your own hormones when BF reduce, but also the emotional attachment to the act of BF your baby.

You will get over it though, all will be fine

Ella I'm so so sorry to hear about your mum. How is she doing? My dad had a huge stroke a few years ago at the age of 53. He'd always been very fit (previously a pro athlete) and it was a huge huge shock. Feel free to PM if you'd like to talk, it's such a big thing to get your head around.

Lilly Congratulations on your crawling baby! I wouldn't worry too much about things being hard, it's so much fun when they're on the move and he'll be more sensible at this age than a mobile 6-month old. My niece crawled just before her first birthday and then walked just after, so my sis just skipped the bit where they're total loonies crashing into everything all the time.

FATE so the B&G are expecting to be child-free from about 5-9 (speeches and wedding breakfast). If it was an hour or so I'd give it a go, but 4 hours at that time of day? My gut feeling is just no! DD likes to have her tea and then doss in front of cbbies at that time, not do all sorts of activities. Friend keeps saying they'll have cots there but I doubt dd would stand to be put to sleep by strangers or stay asleep with lots of older children running around. I think we'll just have to take her to speeches (or outside if she's noisy) and then settle her in our room and take it in turns to sit with her. I've tried to give her a 'late night' for a few social things recently by making her afternoon nap longer/later than usual and it just doesn't seem to work. She's horrendously tired but can't go to sleep. I think she's just used to 7pm bedtime!

Ella - I am so sorry to hear about your Mum. It is hard work visiting and caring for a very ill parent. I hope you are able to share the load with other relatives. Does she have a partner? We found that my Mum needed more support than my Dad did when he had his stroke.

Apples In my almost 11 years of parenting I have never managed to raise a child who can switch to late bedtimes &easily. I see friends with children (some very young) who sleep until 10am or 11am at the weekend following a late night, and I wonder how on Earth they do it!?

Mine will get up at the same time (give or take half an hour) every single day. Weekends, school holidays, being on holiday, winter, summer it doesn't matter.

We used to try on holiday just gritting our teeth and keeping them up late every night, hoping that in the end they would start sleeping later. But no, they get up at the same time and just get more and more tired and grumpy as each day passes and the afternoons and evenings become farcical with us trying to keep the children awake and going.