September 2014 - Rocking and Rolling

[FATEdestiny]

Our babies are rocking and rolling, crawling and climbing into the second half of their first year.

Let the fun continue...

I'm also intrigued by smart trikes. Lots of people seem to have them but I don't really understand why? I'm not sure we have anywhere to store one so even if you all say they are brilliant we probably won't get one!

Friends - I've made one very good friend but that was via nct. I've made another from groups who lives down the road from me and I've just had to be brave and ask her and her son over for a play date. It's gone well and I hope a proper friendship comes of it. A group I went to regularly was closed down and again I was brave and suggested we all swap numbers and start a whatsapp group to stay in touch. We've met up twice in the past month. It is quite hard to make friends though, I think sometimes you have to be brave and put yourself out there. I also have no friends with children so it has been important to me to try and widen my circle.

We don't have space for a smart trike. For his birthday, b is getting a walker with bricks and a rocking caterpillar from us.

I am up for a fb group but happy either way.

have made a few friends. We meet up with the kids once a week, or more, which is nice. none of my nearby friends have children, so again, I had to make friends. They are great.

Aw thanks Nazly I am proud of my little walker but also a bit teary-eyed as it's all going too fast. We'll be using a childminder, and DD will start there in October. We visited several but I chose this one because I'd had several recommendations from local mums and liked the feel of the place. They take up to 4/5 children at a time and we've been dropping in for the past month so DD can get used to the place and the people.

I've made a few 'mum friends' and our NCT group is close. I'd say that there's only one that I'd be friends with if I didn't have a baby through, if you know what I mean?

I swore not to post pics of DD on FB before she arrived but have caved and put one on a couple of weeks after she was born and one on the other day. I know people who post every embarrassing detail and conversation their kids have and I just think it's unfair that the kids have no say in how much of their lives is on the Internet forever

I know

Oops sorry girls, just started to write and clicked on send

Apple I know what you mean.,, it is passing so quickly I am afraid in no time he will be leaving home for college!!

Lil where do you leave? Haven't had any experience like that around here!

I have an exam tomorrow that I have not studied for and tonight of all nights ds is waking up every hour ! Aaagh

I have lost a stone now and am at pre pregnancy weight. If I lose another 8 pounds I will be at my perfect weight; but even losing 4 pounds more would be great... Feels so good to wear my own clothes from last year!!!!

Fate, post the pasta clip pls :) then ask the moderator to remove that post!! :)

Oops - where do you live not leave ** it is quite obvious I am sleep deprived , no? Have to go back to study now

I wondered about a trike too, and also a pop up tunnel. I think I'll get the tunnel first!

Well DS slept from 8 till 5 last night - this is amazing! We've had a sudden turn around the last few nights from waking pretty much every hour to just 1 wake up. I bet it doesn't happen again

Good luck Nazly!

We are also thinking of a smart trike. I really can't believe she is nearly one. She was having cuddles with DH earlier and she looked so long, really like a small child.

We have made a small group of friends, one or two I am closer too then the rest, I think it helped we kept bumping into each other at different groups and then we all swapped numbers!

Not gonna get one of those smart trikes, I hate how they look and I know you can strap them in but I am sure E would manage to evict himself!

We will be getting E a zoo pass for his birthday, not sure if I have posted that!

Also not sure if I have posted but I learned loads of things about my car seat yesterday, which is a bit embarrassing as we have had it so long!

Hi.

I just had to google what a smart-trike was! I had no idea!

We've all been down with D&V here. Me and DH have gone down simultaneously and we have no-one who can help with Jessica so it's been hard. On Monday night I was so dehydrated and dizzy etc I actually passed out, which frightened me as that's never happened to me before. :( Feeling a bit better today but feeling really wiped out still and have lots of tummy pains. Poor Jessica has largely been watching CBeebies the past 2 days. Not great but will try a bit harder today.

I've made some friends from baby groups / NCT. It has been a challenge though and I had to try two or three groups to make friends. I would say if you are finding one group a bit cliquey then try a different one and see if you have any better luck.

I would join a facebook group but pretty happy either way to be honest. I have a vague recollection that this came up a few months ago and the general consensus was that people would rather stay here, but I could be remembering wrong.

Hope you feel better soon KitKat!

I live in East London Nazly, so about as multicultural as you can get. My borough also has the highest birth rate in the country so there's a lot of different people who come now and again rather than a lot of regulars. Because of the language barrier I don't think it would ever go beyond small talk even if I invited people for play dates etc. We are moving a bit out of London soon so maybe then.

Oh lil that sounds difficult. So I don't really want to sound wrong and show a lack of political correctness but it sounds difficult to feel like that in your own English speaking country.

As most of you may remember I am an immigrant and English is my second language. We live within M25 but close to boundaries and while there are plenty of immigrants around I could say more than 90% of ladies in baby groups are British - and I always have difficulties to mix in and make close friends, and I think You just explained why... A language and perhaps a cultural barrier. I feel people are not comfortable with me, not as much as other strangers who are British anyhow. But I appreciate the reasons for that...

On the other hand, my nct group has been absolutely fab (again all British) - I've made friends and been to play dates, etc...

I have no other friends with babies around anyhow. I decided on purpose that I will avoid spending loads of time with other friends from my country as I hate to live in a closed circle in the UK, i want to embrace living here...

So I am the other side of the coin Lil, I have been and am trying hard to mix in culturally, and it hasn't been impossible, but it is not easy either... i'll keep at it though. And in general, I think you brits are fab in this...

Sorry - non-baby related post!

Smart trike now ordered. Will report back how useful it is!

Kitkat that's terrible; I really hope you recover soon. i was sick one day only (couldn't drag myself out of bed even) and if my mum was not around I don't know what I would do...

WE had a houseful of the D&V bug here about a month ago, was horrid so wish you all a speedy recovery KitKat

I have just tried to upload the video of DD eating fistfuls of pasta to post here, but I can't do it. I don't think we can upload videos to MN like we can images, which is a shame. I'm not going to upload the video onto youtube so it looks like I cant show you.

Anyone know about cars/vans? I am seriously considering getting a minibus type car (van?) to replace my 7 seater. Not sure if this is classed as a commercial vehicle and if this will make insurance difficult. Also can these types of vehicles be driven on normal driving licences?

Ooof, hope all recovering from the dreaded D&V are feeling a bit better!

Lil are you in Tower Hamlets by any chance? I think when I lived there it had the highest birthrate in the country. Myself and my flatmate lived in a 2-bed flat that used to house 7 people. It might have been a right squeeze!

Nazly I think people in Britain are generally welcoming and good at mixing culturally, which is why coverage about migration in the newspapers here makes me really angry. They use such irresponsible, inflammatory language talking about immigration and so rarely report any of the benefits we all see from migrants settling here.

Right ladies, I need your help about going back to work. I've always said I'll go back full time and I'm due to do so in October but the more I think about it the more conflicted I feel, and I'm thinking about asking to drop down to 4 days per week. It's so hard because I was so career focused before DD and had spent 10 years working really hard to get the experience to get my dream job. Now I feel like I don't want to give all that up but also keep thinking of what I'll miss if I go back full time. Has anybody else gone back part/full time and changed later? Or regretted it either way?

Apples - I'm in Newham, not far from Tower Hamlets at all.

Nazly - Yes I do think the language and cultural barrier does make a difference, even though people do make an effort on both sides! It can just be hard to connect properly with people with that, though I feel we all enjoy each other's company while we are at the groups.

Apples, I originally intended to go back full time. I've always been very career focused, I absolutely love my job and it is very much part of my identity. However, in January I realised I wasn't going to be happy going back full time. I'm really lucky with work as they allowed me to do whatever I wanted. So I'm halftime, mornings only, for a year. After that year I have to decide whether I go back to ft or whether my contract permenantly changes to pt. I'm not sure what I'll be wanting to do yet!!! Absolutely no regrets about going pt. It is perfect for me and my family, other than financially!

MIL is visiting this weekend. First time since Christmas. She is lovely and very well meaning, but she's also quite set in her ways and inflexible. Currently in the midst of crazy house cleaning!!!

I went back full time (teacher) after my first, but already pregnant so the light at the end of the tunnel that got me through was another years maternity leave impending.

Before I went on maternity with DC2 I requested 3 day part time upon my return. My request was denied completely. So don't assume your request will be granted!

Whilst on maternity we realised managing without my wage would be doable. 8 Years later and I don't miss working all. No regrets whatsoever.

Apples I've been back a month full time. I can't do my job part time and even if I could we would struggle financially as I'm the bigger earner so I knew that was never an option. I have changed my hours so I now work 8-4.30. I miss the traffic both ends of the day & am home with DS by 5.15. He's had dinner already so we just get to play & do fun stuff. I sometimes log back on once he's in bed but normally don't need to. So far it's working well for us.

I'm going back to work 3 days but I need to work longer days to make it work. It means I'm out the house 7-7 so barely going to see DS on those days. That's the compromise for working less days unfortunately. I'm dreading leaving him! We could cope financially, just, if I didn't work so if I really hate it after a few months then I can quit. But definitely don't plan to. He seems to love nursery so far which helps.

Apple I work part time but my work is so entirely flexible that I am not sure how helpful any of my comments will be... My work needed me back and my boss is fab so they agreed with me starting half days and then little by little increase hours to full time - i get paid hourly so that I don't lose in those dreaded weeks when we have deadlines after deadlines and I spend hours and hours working...
So far it has been excellent for me as I really gradually got into the habit of working hard and long hours and under pressure... Currently I work anything between 70 and 90 percent and am aiming to become full time again in 6 months or so.
My boss thinks it is working well for them, i never miss a deadline and manage my team remotely if necessary..., I think it is excellent for me too... But it is just hard work to both work and be a mum.

I wouldn't hesitate to go back part time even for a second, it is only for a short period before babies are more independent and happier playing with their playmates rather than mum!

And unless you are planning for a second and a third soon, you will then be able to work full time for the rest of your life !!!
I am convinced part time working for a short period will not compromise your carrier (just your earning) instead it will give you opportunity to be there with your little one more often.

Just today I was thinking of coming here and asking if anybody who has started working feels guilty at all for leaving their LO... I do...

I'm going back full-time in Sept. I'd rather only back part-time but I'm the bigger earner out of me and DH and financially it's just not practical right now. To be honest one of my biggest anxieties (apart from managing childcare in the nursery holidays / when Jessica is poorly) is managing the house chores. Even before Jessica the biggest argument that me and DH used to have was about me doing most of the house-work, even though we both worked full-time. Since I've been on mat leave I've agreed that since I'm home I'll do most of the house chores, so I currently do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping (which to be honest is pretty much how it was when I was working); as well as most of the childcare. DH helps with the washing up but that's it. In all honesty I think he's gotten very comfortable with that and it's going to be a bit of a shock for him when I start asking him again to start helping with these things when I'm back at work, and I sense some arguments coming up.

Apples can I ask what it is you do? Is there likely to be much flexibility around your role? x