Nov 2006 - part 1 - sore boobs and paper pants

[CattyB]

Hi there,

Know I'm now offically a October mum but wanted too keep up with you all so if you'll still let me be a 'Nov mum' that would be good.

Our 1st week has been remarkably good - DD (first time I've typed that one ) is a wee star. Feeding is going really well, she came out know what to do and apart from being a bit tired all seems to be falling into place. Had a good cry as my milk came in but otherwise emotions have been ok. Luckily DH is at home for the next couple of weeks - highly infuriating at times but invaluable for helping getting big brothers out to school and for making dinner.

Look forward to hearing all your baby news x

forgot to tell you her name! Astrid

oh tamula thats wonderful! congrats and welcome to the world (not so) little Astrid, i must jsut say ouch on your behalf, mine was a tiddly 6lb 14 and that hurt enough!

Hi tamula - congrats and what a lovely name and weight

hi to Clarebos as well - try strapping your little one in high and tight - DS loves looking at me (god knows why!) until he nods off... and yes, he throws himself about whilst I am trying to wind him - little so and so - then he wonders why he has a belly full of wind...

Stacey - you sound exactly like me - am also worried about PND as I feel totally rubbish most days. ivan is messing about with feeding, screaming at the right breast and not settling after feeds. Night feeds have gone from 30 mins max to 1 hr 30 mins, twice a night. He is extremely sucky and I can't seem to break him of that habit. Dr suggested another growth spurt?

Charlee - what utter nonsense about your BM. It is the best thing for you LO. just smile and agree and quietly do whatever makes you happy (((hugs))) to you sweetie.

Happy birthday Mygirl! Hope you have a lovely day with your girls. A wilkinet is a wonderfully soft cord sling / carrier which I could not live without. Brilliant for going out without a pram.

Thanks for your kind words everyone, like Stacey says i'm just feeling really funny latley i think it might just be the 'baby blues' what with havingso much else to deal with aswell, hopefully it will go away but if not i will have a chat with my hv or gp to get some help.

Well looks like NJ and Debbsy may finally be joining us! Debbsy is contracting merrily on the other thread and NJ has dissapeared after her sweep surley a good sign?

I have got some infacol and started Harry on it regurly (sp?) hopefully it will have some effect. Stacey and i seem to be the same Jack is also being quite a challenge at the moment, i tryed to do my xmas shopping today and he screamed at the top of his voice to be carried all the way round, and if looks could kill at least 10 elderly ladies would have shot me down. I didn't let him get to me though i stayed calm, good for me! To be fair he was knackered he didn't sleep a wink last night and had playschool this morning so didn't nap either he went to bed at 6pm.

Harry is also asleep on daddy's chest, he seemed quite hot so he's stripped to his vest and dosed up on infacol, i have also been making sure he has nice long feeds, I am also really enjoying breast feeding thats why it's pissing me off people trying to convert me to the bottle, i have othing against bottle feeding Jack was from day 1 but i really wanted to try with Harry and im doing well and enjoying it so im bloody determined to carry on. Im smiling sweetly and saying thats for the advice but im sticking with it. God i have to patience of a saint!

Well im off to get and early night before Harry needs a feed again. Thanks again for all your kind words. I hope to see the girls here soon.

Hi guys,
Zak Christopher was born on 30th Nov, weighing in at 8lb 13oz. He had to be delivered by ventouse (sp?).
He is really adorable but gets really worked up over nothing and is impossible to calm down. Cuddles don't work, boobie doesn't work, dummy won't work. We just don't know what to do, his little arms flail around madly ( he gets even more worked up if we swaddle him!) and he goes all red in the face and bulging, and just screams and screams. I just don't know what to do, or what can be wrong.... If anyone more experienced has any tips please let me know????

Hi Kay, congrats on your little one!
The thing that works to calm my ds is to swaddle, hold him really close (so I'm also restricting his arms) and make 'shhh' noises (white noise) right into his ear while jiggling him. In theory this replicates the womb. For whatever reason he does eventually calm down. It may take a little while for him to hear you, my ds really works himself up, but eventually there is a break between desperate cries and he notices and calms down.
Also, the best piece of advice I've heard re: crying babies, is that even the smallest discomfort will make them cry - it's their only form of communication - so you have to keep calm yourself and remember that as long as you're keeping your lo safe, everything will be alright eventually.

Hope this helps, but I've only had my ds for four weeks, so maybe parents with a few more might have some other advice

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Hi everyone - Freya also has these screaming sessions, but it took me a while to realise that she was hungry ..... she sleeps really well during the day and then from her 4:00pm feed her routine is 4:00pm - feed, 6:30pm - feed, 9:00pm ish - feed, 11:30ish - feed (but only 2 oz or so) and in between these feeds, she does not want to sleep or lay nicely on her own - she needs to be held! This is all very well now I have realsised, but it is the time when I am trying to get dinner ready for ds and dh is coming homw from work (I pick him up from the station) and we try to eat dinner ourselves, so it seems worse than it actually is IYSWIM
Is anyone else with a dd or ds of about 2years finding it really awkward? I know stacey said she was - ds wrecks the place as soon as I pick Freya up - he tips all his toys out etc and he has started pulling her hands and feet (quite hard) when I am feeding her and only have 1 hand free - this morning he tried to hit her on the head and when I told him off, he piched me he has never done anything like that before ... do you think he will settle down? He is out with my mum today, so I can finally get some quality time with Freya and the little love is soundo never mind I might sleep myself. Sorry for long post.

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Hi everyone,

Just thought I would pop on quickly as both DD's are fast asleep .
Feet haven't touched the ground since DD2 was born last Monday, everything is such a whirlwind atm.

Hope everyone is getting on OK with their LO's. I'm still quite uncomfotable after the birth but starting to slowly feel better. After DD I felt 100% within a few days but its been 11 days this time and I still feel pretty battered.
Glad I am all organised for Xmas though, couldn't handle that too now.

Casey is an absolute angel, settled into a brilliant routine and only had me up once in the night last night. DH gone back to work now so the night feeds have been taking their toll a bit and now DD1 has decided to become nocturnal too . Sure we'll surivive though.

Hi everyone. I got back from the HV a little while ago. Harry now weighs 8lb 11oz so he's putting on woeght really well. The hv says she thinks he deffo has bad colic after hearing him scream the whole time we were there, she has given me a prescription for Infacol so i don't have to keep buying it and given me some tips on how to hold him to make him feel a little more comfortable.
She has also diagnosed Post Natal Depression, which i pretty much expected, she has said i can either try some anti d's or she can arrange a psciatric nurse to came and see me as i have quite alot of crap going on in my life at the moment (see my thread - in the feeling depressed section called, don't know how much longer i can cope (long))

Anyway im going to try the anti d's for a while.

best go harry is screaming ad DP's being usless!

dont have time for a long post but wanted to recommend cranial osyeopathy to anyone who has babies suffering with wind/colic.... its worked wonders for us in the past. even though dd2 is fine i still took her along last week for a check over... i dont know how it works but it does... hope everyone is well... whats the news on NJ?

Hi everyone
Well Olivia is 3 weeks today and an absoloute star.
I too have been debating stopping BF - its not painful, she is putting on weight and sleeping well...but I have no time for my boys, its so time consuming and I feel really guilty that I cant spend quality time with them cause Im sat on my a**e BF. I fed the boys for 2 wks then HAD to stop cause of mastitis (nowhere to go with twins!)So the decision was out of my hands. Part of me says why rock the boat but?...
We have started giving formula at 10 pm but the next step is to change a day feed to formula and Im stalling - why am I so crap at making a decision?! Anyone been through the same thing?

Hi everyone
Well Olivia is 3 weeks today and an absoloute star.
I too have been debating stopping BF - its not painful, she is putting on weight and sleeping well...but I have no time for my boys, its so time consuming and I feel really guilty that I cant spend quality time with them cause Im sat on my a**e BF. I fed the boys for 2 wks then HAD to stop cause of mastitis (nowhere to go with twins!)So the decision was out of my hands. Part of me says why rock the boat but?...
We have started giving formula at 10 pm but the next step is to change a day feed to formula and Im stalling - why am I so crap at making a decision?! Anyone been through the same thing?

Hi everyone

Hope you don't mind me barging into your group, but I could really use some interaction with other mums going through the same thing.

My LO is 4 weeks, two days. She is adorable and everything I could have wanted. But becoming a Mum has been more of a shock than I thought it would be. I've always considered myself a strong person emotionally but these last few weeks have left me feeling probably the lowest in terms of confidence (and sanity). I love my LO and don't resent taking care of her, but I'm really going through a period where I am mourning my old life (someone mentioned this below and it is oh so true). I lay in bed sometimes thinking that my life (and marriage) will never be the same and feel really scared. Does anyone else feel this way at 4 weeks? I thought these feeling would start to subside by now.

I think the way I'm feeling is partly influenced by my experience with breastfeeding. The first two weeks were pretty bad - I had major supply issues, sore nipples and my DD was not latching correctly and was a lazy sucker (this is what a lactation consultant told me). I was supplementing with formula and then trying to express and getting depressed because things weren't improving - and I was spending 24 hours a day with either my DD or a breast pump attached to me. Finally my DH said to me that I could continue breastfeeding (and going mad) or give it up and try to be just a happy, good mum to my LO. I gave it up at 2 1/2 weeks, and although I'm much happier now I still feel so bad about not being able to provide for my DD. I wonder if we will bond like we should. I feel like I've let her down...

Sorry about downloading so much in my first post, but I feel a bit better getting it off my chest. On the bright side, I'm getting more confident in reading my DD's cues about hunger, wind, tiredness, etc... and we are getting into a routine (although she did fuss for five hours this evening, a first!) Overall, I think she is a good baby and I love her to death.

Anyway, look forward to getting to know you all..

Hi Mia

Having a baby - esp your first - really turns your life upside down! It will get better! Babies - and toddlers - go through stages, and just as you're getting used to a phase, it all changes! What you feel is completely normal.

I had similar bf probs with DS1 but it's much easier with DS2 (likewise with DD). Please don't feel bad or guilty about having stopped bf - a happy mummy means a happy baby.

My DS2 is 4 weeks old tomorrow and is already settling into a routine, probably cos we go out at the same times each day for activities/school etc with DS1 and DD (who are 4 yrs 3 months and 21 months). DS2 HAS to be good, being the 3rd child. NO MORE BABIES, though - I'm being pulled in every different direction as it is!!! I love 'em all, am completely smitten and my love for and strong bond with DS2 actually increases the love I feel for the older 2 as well.

Enjoy your DD before she can do things like get into everything or wreck the house, pull hair, hit other children, make a huge mess with food, run away or dawdle, etc, and is fairly easy to transport around - and you can have a nice relaxing coffee while out if she's asleep! I love this newborn stage!

Didn't mean to sound smug about life with DS2 now, more to say I went thru the same kind of thing as you when I had DS1 4 years ago. What I mean is that, although the baby part has got easier each time, I've had at first one and now two older children to cope with each time. Trying at times....

Hi Mia, sorry to hear your having a hard time but your not alone, have you considered talking to your HV about post natal depression, i have just been diagnosed with it and don't want to push the diagnosis onto everyone who's feeling down but it does sound a bit like it?
About the Breast feeding though, don't feel a faliure so you can;t feed her breastmilk but you can feed her formular/wash her/ cuddle her and look after her how can anyone who does that be a dissapointment?
Being a mum for the first time is a huge life changing thing and will have effects on your lifestyle and marriage but it will get better as you both get into a routine and adapt to the changes.
Feel free to post your concerns/worries and general maons on here we will all be around to listen and help if we can. Congratulations on your new baby try and enjoy her

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well went to docs yesterday and she said i might have PND but to wait till i see the HV next thurs for a proper diagnosis and to talk through some therapies.

its mostly dd i have a problem with, she wants attention all the time and it can drive me nuts, shes so loud and messy, i jsut find it so hard. im fine if we'r out or im not on my own, its just when both of their demands are all on me!

Hello all - just thought I'd pop over here for a minute. I'm all on my own the antenatel thread .

Getting induced tomorrow - not happy about it, but at least I should be in good company with you guys again soon

Off to get some more rest etc.. see ya LA

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Mia - I can really relate to what you are going through. My DD is 3 weeks old, and whilst she is gorgeous, coping with her colic and the interrupted nights is much harder than I ever imagined. Like you, there are times when I am mourning my old life and wondering what DH and I have let ourselves in for.

Looking through a lot of the messages here, it seems that what we are feeling is normal. People keep telling me it will all feel much better by the time DD is 12 weeks old, but that feels like a lifetime away at the moment.

Thank god for places like mumsnet where we can talk about things like this!

Thanks everyone for the reassuring words. It's nice to know that I'm not alone. Chubley and others on this board - I don't know how you do it with more than one and you have my complete respect!

I think part of the problem is that in my past life (which existed only a month and a half ago) I had a very demanding but rewarding job. I loved it. I've gone from a full day of intellectually stimulating work to taking care of LO, which is quite frankly a bit boring at times. It's a bit like that movie Groundhog Day, you get up to do the same thing over and over again. I try to get out at least once a day, but it seems to really affect my LO's sleep patterns. If we stay home, her routine is good, feeding every three hours. But if I take her out in the afternoon for a walk, she doesn't sleep well in the pram and can be really grumpy for the evening (which can last for hours). Does anyone else have these problems? I don't want to become a hermit.

LO is asleep now and I'm feeling much better than I did last night. When I wrote my previous message, she had been up from 2:30pm to 7:30pm refusing to sleep. She would look sleepy as I was holding her. I would gently put her in her cot but within five minutes she would wake up crying. I would pick her up, give her a bit more formula, wind her, change her nappy etc.... This went on and on... Then she slept from 7:30 to 11:30 and then did the same thing from 11:30 to 3:30am! The poor thing must be exhausted today so I am just letting her sleep as much as she wants instead of forcing the normal three hour routine. She seemed to be in some stomach pain and I think she may be constipated. I've tried water but that doesn't seem to help. I was so worried that I took her to the doctors today who said that he thought her stomach was a bit distended. He asked me to put her on lactose free formula to rule out lactose intolerance, continue to give her extra water in her feeds and come back next Tuesday. I'm sure this is what is causing her to not sleep so well because I can hear her grunting away in pain in her cot. Before the last few days, she was a real angel baby.

Again, sorry for the long message.

Charlessawmommykissingsanta - I'm not sure about the PND. I do have periods of feeling absolutely great and everyone keeps telling me I'm doing wonderful as a new mum. I'm not crying anymore (did that for the first two weeks non-stop). But I do think talking about these things with other mums will help me. I already feel much better reading all of your messages. Thanks a bunch.