October 2014- thread 8. Growing up fast, 6 months already!!

[MundayCakes85]

Morning all! A shiny new thread for Easter.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, I'm off to eat copious amounts of chocolate whilst hiding in the floor of the nursery with Ewan the sheep

Would you bloody believe it I'm in a and e with suspected gall stones! Have left dp at home with the sleepover gang plus our four poor man!! My mum is going over at 7 in the morning to help out! Talk about bad timing :-(

OMG buttwing, are you still there? And are you ok? That's a brave man being left with that many children!! Hope you (and he!!) are alright. and a if isn't recommended for gall stones x x

Ok that's 3 nights in a row where he's up every hour and up for hours. I've completely ruined his sleep somehow. Don't know what I've done but I don't think I can cope. I'm here sobbing he's been awake since 3, I've been awake all night. I honestly don't think I can do this much longer. Nothing nothing works, I can feel my depression returning really bad and I'm probably making him ill with sleep deprevation. I am not capable of dealing with this.

igotta I got out at 2 this morning came home and none of the kids were any the wiser!
Feel a bit tender but am on strong painkillers my god it hurt!!

Sleepover was great all the girls were very well behaved and the little ones all stayed asleep.

splendide so sorry you're feeling crap could it be teeth? It's so so hard when they're not sleeping. Any chance you can catch up a bit today?

I managed to sleep from about 8-9.30. My mum has taken him out but I'm too anxious to sleep. I just make wrong decisions constantly constantly. He was doing so well, sleeping 7-4 ish then till 7 after a feed. It's all gone so wrong now. I hate how tired he is, I'm terrified I'm damaging him by allowing this sleep deprevation.

Splendide it could just be the six month sleep regression which is a natural developmental phase that hits 50% of babies and is linked to language and gross motor skills. If patchy sleep is a danger for babies then its a serious design flaw! I know a lot of sleep training gurus go on about babies needing uninterrupted sleep to develop but there's actually no scientific evidence for that, whereas there is strong evidence that broken sleep is a natural protection against SIDS and is something that occurs naturally during development spurts. It sucks ass but if it is the regression it is pretty short lived, please don't beat yourself up for breaking your baby - you haven't

Thank you yellow, I hope so. That has made me feel a bit better. It's just so difficult isn't it? I feel constantly clueless and tearful at the moment. Poor boy needs a better mum to be honest.

He has you and he'd never want anyone else. Anxiety doesn't make you a bad Mummy. Worrying shows you care. You're clearly very lovely xxxxxx

Splendide sleep deprivation is the worst, big hugs. It sounds like it could be teething to me (my baby girl will wake up hourly, or less, for the nights leading up to a new tooth). Also Yellow is completely right that human babies are designed to wake often - it's how they're made and is not a problem for them at all! Hard on us though...It's especially linked to development too. Can you use a relaxation download for your anxiety?Or some breathing exercises? I find it helpful to remind myself that my negative thoughts are not facts.

Butt at your a&e night - glad all was ok at home but take it easy lady!

Thanks Flip, you're quite right. I'm kicking myself because I've done loads of CBT and I thought I was doing quite well. A few nights of no sleep and I'm square one. I was sobbing and thinking he was going to be damaged and hurting myself this morning. It's pathetic.

splendide it's not pathetic at all! A couple of nights without sleep makes me doubt my decisions it has such a massive impact on your state of mind. I'm supposed to know what I'm doing (as the hv's keep telling me) because I'm on baby number 4 but I don't I constantly feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants. So please don't ever feel like it's only you or that your getting it wrong because it's not and there is no right or wrong just muddling though the best we can.
When things are really bad I try and remember everything is a phase and it really will pass, that is the only thing I've learnt along the way and it really is true it really really doesn't last forever.
Huge hugs and a large g and t for you.

flip thank you :) I managed a nap today when the girls had gone home and we went out for Sunday lunch not very relaxing as toddlerwing hit his sister with a fire poker

You were hurting yourself this morning splendide? Do you have access to urgent mental health support? Maybe telephone your GP in the morning, or OOH now if things get bad again.

My DD has started sleeping 7-7 ish on four or five occasions now. None so far have stuck - we'd have a few days or a few weeks without her waking in the night. Then something would happen and she starts having a night feed again or waking often.

Lowering expectations helps, even when things go well.

Thanks Flip and Bump for your responses. I think (hope) I'm just being over cautious. Baby can sit up without support now, and has rolled (toppled) twice from front to back since I wrote, and though still quiet has good eye contact and very engaged so maybe just quiet as his big brother is so loud! Yes Flip, we are getting good support for DS1, but sadly only because I have fought constantly for it and finally it's all coming together.

Splendide I'm in exactly the same situation as you! We've gone from 1 waking a night at 4am for a feed, to not being able to put him down to sleep as he wakes instantly and cries. After 11pm he wakes up hourly, and I end up rocking him to sleep (or feeding him to sleep) then falling asleep myself, sat on the armchair in his room with him propped in my arms while I'm waiting for him to go into a deep sleep so I can put him down. I wake up 1-2 hrs later, put him down, collapse into my own bed and within half an hour he is awake again and the same thing happens. I spent 1.5 hrs total in my own bed last night. I'm pretty sure it is teething (if you put your finger in his mouth does he gnaw at it?) though did also think it could also be developmental with mine on top of teething as he has started sitting and rolling in last few days... Babies are a mystery but it is definitely not your fault and you haven't broken him!!! Xxx

Thanks all, sorry to be so dumb about all this. I was just so unwell for the first couple of months that I really panic when I start feeling like that again. I'll be fine, it's normal that's good. That makes me feel better.

Splendide hope you got some sleep last night. Asking questions on here is great, it's very hard to have perspective with babies/toddlers/young kids so getting support is crucial.

Punky sorry you've had such a fight on your hands for ds1 but good support has come together. I think babies can seem quiet with older DC (and when you have just one baby it can seem loud). That's how I find dd2. She's all chat with me in the mornings (5.30-7am is our alone time) and then seems quiet once her big bro and sister wake up!

Weird but ace morning here! She was wide awake and crawling around the bed at 3am this morning, screeching and chatting away... I managed to get her to lie down and go back to sleep by about 3.30, but I have no idea how long she was awake before 3 - I only woke up because she nutted me as part of her frantic rocking back and forth on hands and knees. Boyfriend took her away for an hour at 7 to give me a bit of a kip - brought her back at 7.45 saying she was in an odd mood. Put her back in bed with me and she slept (no eating or anything) until 9.45... SO DID I!! Feel amazing... first 'lie in' in 6 months.

She didn't eat between 11.30 and 6.45 this morning though, so now I know she can do it... proper night weaning can start. Once I've got that sussed I hope I'll be able to keep her in her own room all night. At the moment I can't be doing with sitting in her room all cold and uncomfy to feed her in the night, so I bring her in with me at first waking.

Sorry I've been a bit quiet- it was E's baptism at the weekend so been super busy getting everything sorted. It all went really well, she spent the whole service waving at her audience
Splendide sorry you are having a tough time, baby is hopefully just going through a wonder week (1 due at 27 weeks) I hope you get some rest soon and get lots of support in RL.
Goats glad to hear Pip can do the longer stretches. E often squawks about 4-5ish when she's rolled onto her belly. I generally ignore her and she goes back to sleep in minutes. FX this starts for you too.

Terrible night again here so far. Up at least once an hour since 7 so zero sleep. He keeps rolling onto his tummy then he can't roll back or sleep like that and he gets very upset. This'll be night 7 of no real sleep for me. Not sure what to do, really a bit panicky now.

Thanks Bump, hopefully he'll get a bit better.

I'm sorry I know I haven't got it harder than anyone else I'm just rubbish at coping and completely rubbish at making any kind of decision about anything. I had literally just started to slightly enjoy my maternity leave and now I'm plunged back into depression. Then I'll be back at work full time and I've ruined everything.

Splendide can you put rolled up towels either side to stop him rolling over? Would that make him happier? Can you battle through to the weekend and get some help at night with you OH taking over or letting you nap in the day? I get no help in th ewe eek with OH working (I don't mind it suits me) but at the weekend I get a lie in Saturday and Sunday if I've had a rough time of the no sleep....

That's a good idea Sazzle, I'll try that today for his nap and then tonight if it works. I can get some help in the day when my husband isn't working but I do all the nights because I'm still breastfeeding him at night. I'm just trying really hard to believe it'll get a bit better, it feels like I'll never sleep again! Can't believe how grateful I'd be for an up every two hours night.

Today he's been sick quite a bit :(

Maybe he's unwell? I'm so dreading tonight it's horrible isn't it? I just want to run away this evening.

He keeps rolling onto his tummy then he can't roll back or sleep like that and he gets very upset

When we went through that phase, I found a tightly tucked in sheet (across ways across the cot, rather than length ways), over the top of baby in sleeping bag helped. It effectively pins baby down and stops the night time rolling over, until they can safely roll both directions.

Also - where is the cot? If it's in another room, I'd strongly recommend bringing the cot next to your bed, just to save your sanity in getting through this phase. Won't be a problem to move it back once you are through this and he's sleeping better.

It's much easier if all you have to do is lean over from your own bed to settle, rather than padding across the hall into another room.

You've not broken anything. This is just a short term phase.

Short term coping strategies are all that is needed.