Oh my gosh, I'm exhausted. A community midwife spent a good while with me this afternoon, listened to all of my concerns and I think she realised how important it was to me that I give this a proper try with the right advice.
After half an hour of the same problems (he latches, sucks once then falls off) we were both getting frustrated and upset. She then asked if I had nipple shields - I do have some medela ones, but the midwives at the hospital told me that they were useless and I shouldn't use them so I popped them in a bag and forgot.
So we sterilised them, popped one on and hey bloody presto. He latched instantly. It took a little while for him to settle into a rhythm but he fed for about 10 mins before sliding off in a dozy haze. I cannot believe it.
Obviously I couldn't insist she stays until his next feed, so I'm on my own, BUT she did tell me about a helpline as well as a daily drop in clinic on breastfeeding at the local hospital. I'm fully prepared to need further support, I know the shields aren't a magic wand, but for the first time in a fair few days I'm feeling a glimmer of hope.
Just thoroughly drained now!