Page 30 | January 2014- the one where the babies move more, but sleep less!

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Naturegirl82 · 30/05/2015 13:45

O's been asleep for 4 hours now! She's not going to sleep tonight is she!!!

alteredimages · 30/05/2015 23:07

Hope O went down all right nature. N is still awake. The guests left about an hour ago but he is still hyper. DD is finally asleep though. She is going to be so tired and grumpy when I get her up for school tomorrow.

Before she got overtired DD gave me a sticker because I am a winner, apparently. I am a winner at making lots of food for everybody. I daren't tell her that DH went out and bought it.

Swannykazoo · 31/05/2015 09:04

4hr nap!!! What madness.
I like your winner's sticker Altered
Attempted The Talk. Wrote it all down, started & ended with how mch I loved him, specific things that needed to be fixed ie no more sulking, some help in the mornings/bedtime with H and help around the house. Go an eye roll even before he saw what was written but headed off to bed as was coming down with mastitis
Got up on sat to be sulked at. Had to take H with me to my emergency GP appointment and the supermarket
So we had the chat when H was napping - apparently I should have considered his feelings before writing down such stuff! Absolutely no attempt to enter into a dialogue, ironically refuses to agree that we have a communication problem despite saying about a million times "you don't listen to me" and me saying similar. Worst of all, the excuse for not spending time with H is that I dominate and smother him. Still breastfeeding and co-sleeping is still my fault (clearly as he has never done ANY night wakings)
No answers about how we go forward other than for me to be different

I think we're looking at divorce so I'm really really scared as life would be hard - would need some sort of live in nanny for oncall shifts for example.
Scariest of all, he did say he would try for full custody if we split up. I don't know if I could cope. Surely if one of the significant reasons for splitting up is the total lack of involvement in looking after our child that would be taken into account. And would breastfeeding be taken into account too? I've never even spent a night away from H and it makes me so sad.
However, the thought of living like this makes me pretty sad too.
Sorry for the rant.I think deep down these are passive aggressive threats to make me drop stuff but its hard

Swannykazoo · 31/05/2015 09:08

And one more gem

I breastfed cos it "suited me" and made life more difficult for him. SO biologically apparently there's no way he could help.
Conveniently has forgotten the fact I've had to give up dairy nuts and egg for the last year

Naturegirl82 · 31/05/2015 10:46

puggle I'm so sorry things seem to be coming to an end. Do you have people in rl to support you? Do you think you'll be able to have another chat or do you feel like it's got past that point now?

Swannykazoo · 31/05/2015 11:43

My mum is brilliant but 4 hrs drive away. Got a few mates up here and a few in the central belt.
Going to have to try again but I think there's no help. I've been asking we got to counselling for at least 12 months so might even book the appointments and see if the refusal continues.
Its very sad. In his head I think he genuinely thinks playing with his child for 30mins on holiday is "his share"

alteredimages · 31/05/2015 12:59

Wow puggle, your DH seems to be living in a different world to the rest of us. Just where does he get off with the full custody? I really hope that if it does get as far as divorce (and with that attitude I suspect you don't have much to stay for) he goes and tells those wee gems to his solicitor. The breastfeeding for spite and sabotage comments were especially telling.

What a twat.

I hope you don't think I am being rude, I am just so angry on your behalf.

BookTart · 31/05/2015 14:13

puggle I'm sorry that he can't be reasonable, and I hope that he gives counselling a try. If he truly can't see how much you have given to H, and how much you have had to cover for his sorry arse, then he doesn't deserve either of you. I'm pretty certain that he'd never get full custody though, so please don't worry about that

TobyLerone · 31/05/2015 16:22

Oh, puggle. I'm sorry he's such a dick. I say book the counselling anyway, and go by yourself if need be.

FelixFelix · 31/05/2015 21:26

I think you should book it and go regardless of if he goes or not too. It would probably help you get your thoughts in order. I'm sorry he's been such a nob. The comments he's made are so out of order. The full custody thing is a load of shit too. There has to be a damn good reason before they would take a child away from their mother. I hope things work out the way you want them too. Don't worry about posting here if you need to vent! We will all happily listen to you

Swannykazoo · 01/06/2015 11:22

Thanks everyone -it really means a lot daft as it seems
Just awful yesterday - I was sulked at all day and he kept stomping through the rooms where H and I were. Poor wee mite would then be looking at me not knowing what was going on and I was having to say "daddy's just busy"
I spoke to him about it after H was in bed and got the old favourite "its all in your head you need to see a psychologist" Apparently refusing to talk or make eye contact is not sulking! Above all I think we need to try to keep H out of it but he won't accept that his actions might have implications on others

I could have cried that he hasn't gone to work this morning (sick again, tried to blame my roast dinner but I think its some sort of lingering bug he picked up on a business trip but he refuses to see anyone about it) - I was looking forward to space and peace until Wed night

alteredimages · 01/06/2015 11:40

I know the feeling when they don't go to work puggle. That sucks!

Try not to worry about H. It is hard when you can see it is upsetting them or they are confused but you are trying to take steps to prevent it happening in front of him and you can't take responsibility for your DH's huffs.

Do you think there could be something more going on with your DH? Stress at work, depression? I am not trying to excuse him, it just seems weird for an adult to be so colossally self absorbed that they don't accept that their actions impact others. Just made me wonder, especially with the sickness. I am the queen of psychosomatic illness when things feel like they are getting too much.

Do you have any time off this week to do something nice just you and H?

Will be thinking of you. Hope you do go ahead with the counselling, with or without your DH.

GunShotResidue · 01/06/2015 13:54

for puggle

Last exam tomorrow and my brain is empty... I decided in a sleep deprived state of stress that I should become a carpenter last night and ordered some wood chisels at 1 am. Stupid ebay app.

Swannykazoo · 01/06/2015 21:38

Do you do something similar to carpentry GSR? If not
Good luck for your last exam tomorrow
Cheers for all the good wishes. H and I are off to swimming tomorrow then possibly some playparks depending on the summer rain

Really no idea what's going on with DH. His whole family are of the "delicate constitution" ie a cold = 2-3 days in bed and mooning around. He's always been the Eeyore in the relationship and never been happy in his job but over the last year or two its as if he doesn't want me to be happy either and I feel ground down.

FelixFelix · 02/06/2015 08:41

GSR I am at wood chisels. I always have mad moments and order random stuff that I think is a great idea at the time too. Good luck with your exam!

Puggle hope you had a nice time swimming yesterday. Weather was awful here - ridiculous wind and rain all afternoon and night.

alteredimages · 02/06/2015 15:28

Good luck with your exam today GSR, hope it has gone well.

I am struggling to stay awake today. I don't know why I need so much sleep but I do! 11 to 6 is just not enough for me, I end up needing an afternoon nap. Hopefully N will have a quick rest now and I can stick DD in front of Cbeebies for half an hour. There's no way I will make it to 11 without conking out and I have baking to do and water ice to make. God that was a boring paragraph.

Feeling quite sad about Charlie Kennedy's death. He seemed such a good man.

Was sprung with an unexpected trip to the market when picking DD up from school today. A big list of messages for MIL to be bought from two separate street markets. It always knocks me for six but at least I got some fresh vegetables. Peaches and apricots are in season here, as are okra and vine leaves and the little white aubergines for stuffing.

Two weeks to go til Ramadan and everyone is out buying pasta, rice, oil and nuts and raisins. Also stocking up on tamarind, dried fruit and karkadé to make cold drinks.

I meanwhile am pretending it isn't happening and counting down the days until we are coming to the UK.

GunShotResidue · 02/06/2015 18:03

Thanks all, I've just got home from the exam. I think I've passed bit no idea how I've done over than that. 6 weeks until I find out.

I have never done anything to do with woodwork. It was a moment of madness but I think I'll give it a go :)

Naturegirl82 · 02/06/2015 20:12

Congrats on the exam gsr. And good luck with the wood working. Any idea what you are going to try to make?

Naturegirl82 · 02/06/2015 20:13

altered how long till your UK trip now?

alteredimages · 02/06/2015 20:46

Still over six weeks. I think around the time you are due actually.

How many words do all of our toddlers have? N doesn't have many. He says "ba" for bath and baby and roars when he sees a lion or bear on TV. He also says Mummy and Daddy in an Egyptian country bumpkin accent but that is it. Not really concerned, just like hearing about other babies.

TobyLerone · 02/06/2015 20:54

M says a lot of words. Suddenly she's saying new ones every day. But she's only just started walking, so it seems she funneled all her brainpower into her mouth!

TobyLerone · 02/06/2015 20:57

Glad your exam went well, GSR.

altered, you really don't sound very happy in Egypt. Is there any chance of living somewhere else for you in the foreseeable future?

How are you today, puggle?

BookTart · 02/06/2015 21:07

Glad the exam went well gsr. Fingers crossed for you.

altered she says virtually nothing at all. She has said a few words, but has lost them all. She can currently say "raa raa" for lions, and "dada dada dada" -all the fucking time-- but nothing else. Not even mama (she used to say that :( ). We've been referred for speech and language therapy already, and also for hearing checks. I'm vaguely concerned, only because she's lost words she once said. She's fine with everything else though, developmentally speaking, so I'm hoping her speech will catch up eventually.

Swannykazoo · 02/06/2015 21:55

H had no words but loads of babbling, but suddenly its like I've got my ear in and the babbling is sometimes sort of words. Bo-bo is a favourite (boob of course) Mama, dada, da(that one, pointing) didda for digger, dog, bah or dah for bird and goh for good. A few animal ones -quack for duck type things

Bit sad today. DH has sulked/been unwell in our spare room the whole day and yesterday. My mum phoned to say my gran had died at 4 today and he still doesn't know. He's been well enough to take a call from his parents while I was settling H down so he's not that sick but seems determined to sulk...
(My gran was very very nealry 90 and pretty poorly but I'm a bit sad there's no one to give me a hug.)

Swannykazoo · 02/06/2015 21:57

In might be cold but do you want to come and live in the Highlands Altered? (I may have to evict one sitting and sulking tenant of course)