August 2014 Babies,half way to one and staring at you while you eat.

[GingerCuddleMonster]

I've been told via Whatsapp by a MN'er this morning who used to be a member of the ante-natal group that there's a Facebook group, but that they won't accept anyone or her back (a bit weird if you ask me, but each to their own, and have really left a PND suffering mum feeling like shit, but I doubt they care in their "clique")

So are there any August Mums left on here willing to chat, without connecting to Faceache?

Sounds like a headache with the court case, Ginger - hope it is resolved soon.

Beans, yes, they have to sort it out at some point! I look forward to having a teenager I can't get out of bed...

DS is in a cot at the foot of the bed so we're already sharing a room. It's a mix of things - partly genuine hunger, partly needing cuddles/comfort feeding to relax enough to fall asleep and all made worse, these last six weeks or so, by his constant need to be on the move! Before he started crawling we could lie him down in the cot and he would fall asleep while we sat and read or talked to him. It had taken months to get to that point, and I had great hopes that he would get more and more used to that and eventually fall asleep on his own, but it's all gone out of the window and he can't seem to stop crawling around and pulling up on the bars of his cot!

Aii it's a nightmare and I feel like crying most nights, but I just have to persevere and it will come to an end, and I don't know why I'm worrying seen as I'm paying someone £200odd quid an hour now to sort it out

I sleep in a self contained studio flat in the grounds of the main family home, DS is a crawl around the cot and jump about the cot too Jess!!

I leave him to it, he wares himself out eventually. I will leave him cry for about 30seconds before I see to him and lay him down, eventually he self settles after about 3 outbursts of crying.

Sorry to hear about the court case ginger how stressful. At least you've got someone sorting it out!

We have the same getting to sleep issue too - DD will crawl and cruise around the cot. I didn't think she'd be able to stand up in it as she's in a sleeping bag, but she can! Luckily she's been sleeping ok during the night although we've both had horrible coughs and colds for the past few days.

The weather is terrible here too which is a shame as DH had some extra holiday this year due to the Open so we'd hoped to go out somewhere...but don't think that will be happening today. To be honest I feel like curling up in a bed with a hot water bottle and a book but that won't happen either!

I am glad I am not the only one who hasn't put their baby in their own room yet! My parents keep saying it's about time but it doesn't feel right at the moment.

We did try one night with us sleeping in the spare room and DS still in the cot in our room, to see whether it was time to start moving him. He woke as much as normal, did seem a bit more distressed to find us not there, and it was a pain having to get out of bed to get to him, so we've not tried again!

Hope the bedtime restlessness is just a phase for all our little ones! Yes, I often just leave him to get on with cruising around, but he does get more easily distressed and harder to settle as time goes on and he gets tireder.

Sounds like we're going through same things here too. DD is still in our room as I just can't be bothered getting up to go to another room so many times every night.

DH is away on a stag do this weekend (although its 3 nights, who on earth decided that was normal for a stag?) so its just me and DD at the moment. She woke up about 8 times last night but because I had lots of space I just brought her into bed at 7am and then she slept until 9.30 so for the first time ever I actually got a lie in woohoo

Errr, why do you need to put your child in a separate room at a certain time?

That's a very cultural way of thinking that isn't shared in a hell of a lot of places. You have to wonder why, because that does include places where the choice is available.

DS's cot has been next to our bed, with the side down so its like a side car still. He moved early so I never got to the point where he was sleeping in his own cot. He was fine from newborn to 4 months, then he would not go to sleep unless held, and he constantly wanted to be fed through the night.

We have just in the last couple of weeks managed to get him actually sleeping in the cot rather than in our bed. This has been gradual. When he wakes in the night, if he wants me he can come over to me (rather than me to him). He's even started feeding himself which is a bonus!

If I left him in a cot to self settle, he'd scream the house down and climb out the cot (he's escaping the car seat and climbs everything so its not a ridiculous fear). Plus he does not have batteries that wind down. He just gets more and more hyper and naughty the more tired he is. Which is no fun for anyone. A routine which involves cuddles and sleep even if its in my bed, is fine by me.

Our plan is to go at a pace that suits him. When he does eventually start dropping night feeds (hes still utterly shit with food in general so its a case of waiting for him to be able to feed himself better) then hopefully he'll start sleeping in his own bed for longer. We then plan to move the cot away from the bed and then eventually move him to his own room.

I do not get the rush. If it doesn't work for you, then don't.

I physically can't I have however placed curtain dividers between us because having sex and suddenly realising he was awake and looking at us, a) really felt awkward and b) killed the mood, so we have privacy now .

The reason I was thinking about moving him into his own room was that I was worried that we were disturbing his sleep, as well as him ours. It does seem to be the case that he wakes more when I'm in the room (think he can smell the milk!).

Oh, and I'd love to be able to cuddle DS to sleep but it doesn't work any more - he starts crawling all over me, bashing me, pinching me, pulling my hair, rooting but coming off again (often also biting) when offered milk, and generally showing no sign of relaxing and going to sleep! He doesn't mean it in a mean way but he's just so restless - at least in the cot he can wear himself out (mostly reasonably contentedly) without hurting me or my husband in the process.

We seem to be going in reverse here this week. last night I didn't even bother putting DD in her cot, she just slept next to me and poor DH was evicted to the spare room. Amazingly she only woke up 3 times to feed inat3ad of the usual 6-8times. might have been pure coincidence but she seemed to be more settled so might have to do some sort of experiment to see if it genuinely makes a difference.

although if it does work to help DD sleep I'm not sure how DH will take it if I suggest he sleeps in the spare room all week. maybe we'll have to buy a superking size bed for all of us haha

me dp and the baby all sleep in a double on the weekend sometimes it's a tight squeeze but we manage

we're like a litter of puppies

How is everyone's weaning/eating going?

we've discovered ds favourites are banana and he loves a bit off buttered wholemeal toast haha

Eating is going ok, although I find it hard to get DD to eat any meat, and so I worry about her protein intake. She also doesn't seem to be very keen on potato, but last night I put a liberal amount of a very garlic-y hummus on her jacket potato and she loved it. Strange baby! She's not a massive eater during the day at all, has very little for breakfast, not usually a great deal for lunch, and still likes to have plenty of breastfeeds, but she does generally manage quite a reasonable dinner. She particularly seems to like fish and pasta.

I do wish she'd eat meat though - even just chicken. Tofu went down well and she's fine with beans and pulses, but we're going on holiday with my parents this weekend, and I know it's going to be tougher to feed her when we're away.

I am perfectly happy to be sharing a room with her at night, it's just my parents that make comments! Probably just a reflection of the different attitudes when they were bringing me up. By all accounts I was brought home from the hospital and straight into my own room (late 1970s...I'm old!) and that was that.

I also get told I'm making a rod for my own back on a regular basis. The other day I was saying something to my mum about work, and she said why don't you do some work from home so DD can stay with you. Well, as I responded, it would be impossible to get anything done in the day with DD there, as she needs constant watching or she'll get into mischief! But apparently this is me having made a rod for my own back and not normal 11 month old behaviour....

Hahahahahahahaha well I'm firmly equipped with a pointy structure that needed civil engineering on my back. Do I give a fig. No I do not, because actually its all working fine.

In the past two weeks we have had progress on multiple fronts. DS was not eating at all really beyond a couple of mouthfuls before complete refusal and sleep was only possible on me.

He has now started mugging me for food at every opportunity. He has got a spoon and is putting into an empty yoghurt pot and then 'feeding' me. He started putting it to his mouth too. I'm not going to let him loose for a couple of days with contents as last time I attempted that it was a disaster area, but he is close to be able to feeding himself with a spoon!!! Plus his finger feeding has come on leaps and bounds. He loves baked beans and cauliflower cheese, which is especially good as he was refusing all vegetables. Two weeks its taken to go from eating next to nothing to wanting to eat or have milk more or less constantly. The only down side is we suspect he has an egg allergy and he has a bit of a thing for digestive biscuits and custard and throws a tantrum when the custard is all gone...

Sleep has also massively improved. He had been sleeping for no more than 2 hours at a time before wanting food. Hence half the reason we were co sleeping. The other half being that he screamed blue murder when I let go of him after 9pm at night. Putting him in his cot was impossible. However this week - as food has improved - surprise, surprise so has his sleeping. I've had a couple of nights of 4hr stretches (bliss!) and he has actually let me put him in the cot (which is still set up as a co-sleeper). Not only that, but he has rolled away from me in the cot.

He has walked a second time (the first time was over a month ago!) but no more progress. He went batshit at swimming though and clung on so hard that I didn't need to hold him at all. Apparently normal when babies learn to walk though. It seems they can't do land and water learning at the same time. However its not dreadful timing as its over a month to his next lesson so time to get over it. I have good intention to go on my own over the summer, but I know what I'm like with good intention!

As for doing anything at home. I can not do anything at the moment beyond sit in one place or give DS attention. Going in the kitchen or the bathroom means hysteria followed by clinging on for dear life. And if I leave him to do his own thing, I get maybe twenty minutes, before getting pounced on or him embarking on his evil genius plan of world destruction We had to buy new furniture so that the tv was out of his reach, following him damaging the screen. The books are currently taped to the shelf, but I'm not sure how long that will last. And he is climbing everything he possibly can at every available opportunity, including climbing on top of the rabbit cage for the bunny we are holiday sitting. (Fang has subsequently been removed to a safer location for this reason).

So those rods digging in my back, can't be too deeply embedded. Or perhaps he's just growing up at a different rate and at his own pace anyway.

Tonight. Massive dinner which included veg and one and a half sausages (and custard). Then he had a decent milk feed.

And he has gone to sleep in his cot.

By himself.

For the first time since he was 4 months old.

ah red that's great news on the food front, it's rather strange how they suddenly just " get it"

the water/swimming sounds rather amusing I'm raking DS swimming next week whilst on holiday so I look forward to it now haha

me, I'm struggling in all honesty DP has been away for over 3 weeks now, I'm exhausted. We're not sleeping through yet plus I have a 30hour a week job to go to on top. I'm exhausted and sleep deprived.

DS seems to be ok though, so at least I'm not failing miserably I suppose

Great news Red

I'm not sure when DD will ever sleep through she's still up at least 4 times a night even when she's tucked in right next to me. she pushes herself into crawling position in her sleep then suddenly wakes up yelling and wondering how she got up!!

food wise its slow slow progress here and some meals better than others but she's finally up to 3 meals a day even if some are just a couple of mouthfuls. she's learnt to point so now we spend ages trying to figure out what she's pointing at. usually its something i don't want her to have like a knife or the water jug but its so cute sometimes i just give in.

Ginger its really tough when you have to manage on your own. good luck and hang on there! DH is away next week so I'll be trying to juggle everything although at least still 2 more weeks off work for me. Nursery settling in time is soon though. Dreading that!

We've had a bit of a breakthrough on food lately (touch wood!) - he's always been enthusiastic about putting stuff in his mouth but is now swallowing a reasonable amount too. He seems to be dropping his milk feeds a bit at last - which is a big relief as I was really struggling to keep up with expressing while at work. Glad you've had progress on the food, Red and Felkov, hope things improve, MrsMilky.

Sleep still rubbish though :( Felkov, we have the same thing about waking up in a crawling position - or pulling up on the cot bars but not being able to lie down again. So I lie him down again, and he promptly stands up again. Or I pick him up and cuddle him and he immediately wriggles to be off. Ah, bedtimes are so much fun! Much sympathy Ginger, working on virtually no sleep is horrible - how long until your DP is back?

I am firmly convinced that the only way to guarantee making a rod for your own back is to stop doing things which make it easier now in the hope of making it better in the future. So feeding to sleep now might possibly make it harder in the future, but that's not guaranteed - what is guaranteed is that it definitely will makes life easier in the short term!

looks like everyone's eating is coming along, DS is like a bin he will eat anything!! The only food issue we have is food throwing when he is done .

DP is away for anothr 3 weeks I'm so worried...

We have a bookworm!

He LOVES books. And the cutest thing is, is he now has 'voices' for reading the book that he doesn't use for anything else and he randomly points at things in the book even when reading by himself. Usually with the book upside down.

He's clearly copying us, and this must be what we sound like to him.

What's more is it keeps him entertained for HOURS.

Ah red that sounds like DD! She will go over to her book corner (next to one of our bookcases) and "read" for ages. She'll also go and fetch books that she wants us to read to her. Funnily enough the other day I was randomly reciting a bit of the gruffalo to her and she went and pointed at the right book, even though it had been moved to a different place from usual. I was impressed!

It was DD's birthday yesterday! Can't believe my baby girl is one year old, it's frightening how fast the time has gone. She had a lovely day, with my family from Kent up visiting, and we took her to a nearby aquarium. The aquarium was a huge hit, I definitely recommend it! We also made her a "cake" out of fruit - watermelon layers, decorated with grapes, blueberries, and cantaloupe melon hearts. All her favourites.

ginger thinking of you by yourself, sounds really difficult. I find 10 days alone hard enough but with work and lack of sleep thrown into the mix it must be a nightmare!

Happy birthday mini-milky!

belated birthday wishes for minimilk!!

I can't believe DS will be one so very soon!! madness I tell he!!

We're on holiday at the moment, it's going ok....problem is DS will not settle, won't sit still and is adamant about tuning around. ivrbfound a local soft play for tomorrow to keep my sanity alive!!

Thanks jess and ginger. Isn't it crazy that the year has gone so fast?! ginger hope you enjoy soft play today. DD was so full of beans on holiday it was unbelievable...it took literally hours to get her to sleep at night.

Think teething is going on here again as we had the worst night we've had for a while and she was very dribbly and clingy yesterday too. She wanted to BF constantly too.

I was hoping she might cut down feeds in the next few weeks as she is actually eating more solids now too, as I'm still a bit uncertain over what to do regarding her feeds when I am back at work. I'll just be back 2.5 days though, my request to cut back my hours was approved, hooray!

Good news on 2.5 days, I'm really looking forward to dropping down to 3 days in a few weeks. Is expressing an option?

Hope soft play was fun, Ginger!