October 2014 // thread 6 // baby's new year resolution is to sleep more?!

[sazzlehopes]

Paddy slept for 20 mins, 1hr30, 30mins last night. Thats all we got from 9.30-8am.

I often worry about dh's mental health, theres a lot of similar issues in his family and hes always been a bit delicate and doesnt deal with stress well. Not overly keen on his job, not that he doesnt enjoy the type of work but he feels he cant do it to a good enough standard etc so about 6 monthly i have to talk him round about that. Hes started to bond more with paddy now hes smiling and making eye contact so i think that helps but we both have our "its not meant to be like this" moments. I really want to go back to work part time but with how much dh worries about his work/money i dont think its likely. As much as the sleep deprivation is killing me i just cant imagine only seeing my baby on weekends essentially :s

Having a lazy afternoon after toddlers and the supermarket, so am feeding Lil whilst watching Frozen with the boy. I think I have a crush on Kristoff !

DH and I have both turned out opposite to how I expected. Normally he's quite anxious and I'm really capable and confident. I had a proper job and earnt all the money and he did a bit of freelance work and all the housework.

Since the baby, turns out he's taking it in his stride and being generally amazing and I'm a wreck. Im the one with sleep deprevation of course but I don't think it's iust that.

Moose are you sharing night wakings at all? I can't see that you getting so little (none at all?) sleep is sustainable. I know it's really difficult with the feeding but you need to protect your health. I'm not practising what I preach as my DH is in the spare room but I've only ever had one or two nights like that in a row. If (when maybe) we have a run of them then he'll have to step up.

Interesting discussion. I too have noticed lots of threads in the sleep section where some poor exhausted mother about to go back to work pops up and says her baby still wakes five times a night and everyone piles in and says it's normal. Of course there are useful replies too but still...

I'm peeing my pants over this looming sleep regression!

moose what is baby moose doing when he's awake ? Is he just crying the whole time ?

Ps moose, could you talk to a sleep consultant? Is he catching up through his daytime sleep at all?

There's a lot of advice like that. I posted about mixed feeding and was asked to post my feeding schedule. I posted what I'd recorded a couple of days previous - 17 breast feeds over 24 hours! Then told I could be feeding more. Well no, I couldn't. Not without interrupting one of the two gaps of three hours id got overnight. It would kill me and I felt like if that's what it takes I'll just move to formula.

I also hate the thought of someone with a brand new baby reading that and thinking that at 11 weeks 17 breastfeeds a day would be not enough and giving up! I was (am!) having terrible problems with feeding, it's not normal!

I catch up a bit at weekends as dh takes him out for 2 hr walks. Babymoose tends to fall asleep on me whilst bf-ing and will stay there for 20-30mins happily before he starts thrashing around. If we get him to his cot asleep he seems to wake after 20-30mins and gets worked up v quickly. Past two nights we have also put him down awake, in sleeping bag, strapped down with blanket, dummy in and white noise on around 1030/11pm first night he slept til 2 and then only 12.30 last night, but we set white noise to timer maybe it needs to stay on?
We do co sleep sometimes but its such a light sleep for me it doesnt seem to help, same with white noise for me.
Its just so frustrating that weve had two separate weeks of him sleeping through 10-5 or 10-3 & 4-7 , so we know its possible but no idea how to get him back. And he was just boobed to sleep then.
Im half tempted to pick up the neocate prescription (if the dietician has sent it through) and see if that helps :s

God i always do epic posts, sorry!

Moose how warm is the bedroom? I only ask because the nights we've had awful sleep have been those when the heating's stayed on. It seems the baby is like me and prefers a cooler room.
It's so much worse when you know the baby can sleep.
We went for a long walk on the beach with my mum today and E slept the whole time. Making up for small naps the previous few days!

Also talk of PND in dads is interesting. I know my DH felt left out when he went back to work. Evening routine revolves around him doing bath time so they can bond.
Hope Mr Goats feels he can cope better after seeing his brother

God moose your ds sounds so like dd1, she would only sleep two hours at a time with only 10-15 minutes power naps throughout the day ... Bloody exhuasting to say the least. With her it was silent reflux that didnt get proper treatment. Why dont you try the special formula and see how it goes, if it doesn't work then you know its not a hunger issue and maybe speak to your hv to see about a sleep specialist? Do you think he just wants the comfort of the boob to go to sleep and will resist anything else ? I know my lo is getting quite a wee temper on her when I'm putting her down and stops screaming when i pick her back up

We went for a long walk on the beach...

I am so jealous of those who live on the coast. I'm midlands so as far from a coastline as you can get. Would love to be able to just pop down to the beach in the same way I pop down to the park.

Mind you, memories of pushchairs on sand...

FATE it was definitely a workout with the sand. My DH is from the Black Country and I'm from Hertfordshire so I love every opportunity.
What's everyone doing this weekend? DH off to football over night so just me and pickle

The nipper 360 is awesome on sand or snow - I use it most days when walking the dog on the beach. It could be handy next week as its forecast for a heap of snow up here - whoop! Not fancying temperatures of -5 daytime (-12 at night) without a car with Lil though. I think wearing her in the sling under DH's big down North Face coat is probably the best option. She has a down pramsuit but even with the big fluffy Nipper cosy toes I think she's likely to get cold without my body heat isn't she?

Thanks for responses everyone. I've told him that he'll get out what he puts in - and that he just has to accept that that means engaging properly when he's with her. I linked it to the whole deal where sometimes I get nothing done because she's been really demanding - he knows that that happens, but I don't think he really get what that means in reality. He can't just sit in front of the telly and concentrate on a programme with her sat on his lap 'watching' too, because that results in shouting/squealing and him wishing she'd shut up. He desperately wants our evenings back, and so do I... but it's not going to be forever, he should try to enjoy this time.

I saw him for a few minutes at our building site of a house today, and he brought up the conversation. I suggested that he might have PND, he agreed that it might be possible. I used FATE's comment that if I was saying these things, he'd send me to the doctors. I skewed my comments in the direction of his not letting our other 'life stuff' (building site house, money, living with parents etc) build up into causing depression that prevents him enjoying his time with her.

Yellow - I'm wondering about cold stuff too. We're going skiing next week - could be up to -20. We've got a down suit, but if I wear a sling I've only got a thin-ish coat that fits over it - even though a sling would be best for body heat. If I wear my down coat, it'll be her in the Manduca so not as warm. Definitely not taking a buggy.

goats for what its worth i think he's very lucky to have you... Glad he recognises that it might be a mental health issue, another step forward to getting it sorted? Did he go to his brothers?

I am kiddie free tonight .. My mum has taken them, but i feel like i have lost my left arm... My right arm just wants to press "face time mum" . Am i saddo ? Lol

Plus very snowy here! Its magical

Jealous of goats going skiing!!! will you actually get to ski?

Sorry to hear about your boyfriend goats. My husband got a bit depressed after my first too. And now admits he's not bonded with no 2 like he thought he would (he won't take a bottle, only I can stop his cries etc).he works long Hours so doesnt see him in the week, only at weekends but that's when I need him to play with the older one as I need a break from his constant demands!
I've felt pretty low today - trapped and annoyed with my husband that he can do what he wants where as I'm stuck at home with our two relentless kids (but also know I wouldn't want to not be with them).

Tatty and Pregnant, Heidi's previously good sleeping pattern went to pot when she turned 12 weeks, could be early sldept regression? Nearly 3 weeks on I think we've conquered it though, she's sleeping better now than she was before so it was actually good for her in the end.

Goats, sorry to hear your boyf is having a downer about things at the moment, it does sound quite like PND doesn't it. Hopefully your skiing trip will help him connect with her, where you going?

Sldept?? Sleep I meant!

Irrationally annoyed that baby woke up after 1 1/2 hours, then gave me a thick lip during her paddy, then cried louder when I changed her nappy.
Grrr where's that book "Go the F* to Sleep!"??

I have that