Dec 2008 - Now we are six....

[MontserratCaballe]

Here you go. Happy new year!

Oh gosh, don't mention the bed sharing. DD2 can climb in so quietly we don't even know she's there til we wake up in the morning. I have no idea how to end that. She'd make an ace burglar though ...

DS still sneaks in. It's totally erratic, sometimes every night, sometimes not for weeks and it can be anytime from 11 till morning. I long ago figured out that I don't have the appetite for a 3 am showdown. When I've asked him why not his own bed, the answer is "because I want to be with you mummy". hmm.

4.15am DD decided we would get up. I feel awful, my head is pounding and I feel a bit dizzy. She went back to sleep on the sofa.

DD2 used to sneak in. I was ruthless with taking her back to bed, but man it was hard work, and a few nights I was so tired I didn't even notice her come in.

Dreading DD3 coming out of her cot. how late can I leave it?

DH goes at about 2am. DS2 is crying his eyes out and says he feels sick. You'd think after 4.5 years of this he would be used to this.

It's nearly the weekend!!!!

The boys have just gone to XHs. My weekend has started!

DH is heading to the Canary islands for a few weeks while the ship is worked on. I do not like him.

He's mean Kayz, can't you join him?

Day 7 of toilet training little miss stubborn, which I was dreading as I was convinced she'd refuse to cooperate, has actually left me feeling terrible for doubting her. 7 days and only 2 accidents in total. I am v proud of my little one (touch wood!!)

Wahoo ZJ! Please can you come and get DD3 to sleep past 5am now.

DH and I are on our knees. I know it isn't that bad, but it does get a little wearing. especially as we seem to be addicted to The Walking Dead series and stay up too late watching it every night. sob.

DH cooking tonight. roast pheasant. and he's doing bath and bed time. taking over my job. love it.

It's my Dad's birthday tomorrow, which is a tough day for Mum. added to which, my Granny is dying very slowly and Mum's been quite low of late, which isn't like her. so, am heading down to have lunch with her and my sister tmw and then go to the cinema. a whole day without children. I am excited. very.

7.45! oh my god!!!!
Sadly older DDs up at 6.45, but I can live with that.

Hello hello.

I am bragging here but remember how vile the first 4yrs of sleeping with Ds2 were. But DS3 went to bed at 6.45 last night and woke at 8 this morning! Love him. Glossing over the big boys getting up at 7 as we threw an iPad at them and told them to get out!

hurray for DS3, Jammy. DD3 also now sleeping longer and better. have had to wake her after 7 the last two mornings. I know it won't last, but I'll take it while it's on offer!

DD1 just been sent home from school with a temperature. bum.

and I was too cold to go for a run this morning, so I did a long dog walk instead. I'm rubbish.

The thread has gone so so quiet again. weep. vag, where are you?? Don't leave us.

went to see Foxcatcher on Sunday. mind blowing.

I'm still here! In fact I have been wondering whether to post about this or not. But here goes.

I have to go to the breast clinic. My nips have always been inverted but since I finished feeding DS3 one of them is very very inverted. Almost like it's been pulled in from the inside. So I went to the GP last Week about my stupid wangy wrist. And thought I am just going to ask about it.

So now I am absolutely terrified that when I go on Monday they are going to find the awfulness that is cancer. The GP wanted to know if there was a history of breast cancer. My appointment came through and the information I need to fill in has scared the shit out of me. Also I will have to have a mammogram and if needs be they will do a biopsy immediately. I will also see a surgeon and specialist nurse. So am as you can imagine utterly terrified that I am going to die and won't see my babies grow up. I know I shouldn't be thinking the worst but I can't help it.

So my lovely friends. Bet that kick starts the thread!

Oh Jammy that is a worry but at least you are being seen Quickly. Is john going with you? You are very young to have bc and have breastfed lots which will protect you but that doesn't stop the awful feelings. Try to keep busy and remember that the odds of it being all clear are massive lay on your side. Thinking of you darling. Much love xxxx

Got to dash - at work. Back later x x

Sorry I meaan you would be very young which of course makes it much more unlikely. So sorry to phrase it so badly.

Oh Jammy I'm keeping everything crossed for you and will be thinking of you. You are going to the right place x

Oh Jam! Will be thinking of you. Got everything crossed. Xx

Jam how frightening for you

I completely agree with what sybs is saying too. However it would be impossible for anyone to to have such worrying thoughts given the tests you are going yo have.

Much love jammy, am thinking of you xxx

See told you I could get the thread moving.

Thank you all its so reassuring to have you all.

Oh heck Jammy, how terrifying. I'll be thinking of you on Monday x

Glad you enjoyed your day out Beans, I hope it did your Mum some good too?

jam, frightening, I am sorry. Good luck. You know all the sensible things, best to check, it probably won't be, even if it is, you can get through it etc etc. But I know that doesn't make it much better now. We'll be thinking of you.

Oh Jam
v v scary for you. well done for going to GP. You are so brave. hopefully it'll be nothing at all and just to put your mind to rest. thinking of you so. let us know how it goes.

and well done getting everyone back!!

Oh Jammy that is scary. Obviously I am no medic but I would take comfort from the fact that your nipples ahve always been a bit inversted and that this recent chnage followed bFing rather than coming out of the blue. My nipples were never inverted but are partially since I bFed for the third time so maybe its just a thins nipples do after multiple bFed babies. Obviously important to get checked out but try not to worry too much.

Hello to everyone else on the newly active thread. Hope everyone is well. All is OK here although we have asked our au pair to leave which is awkard, she seems to be planning a sit in, or squat, as shes showing no signs of going and pur new one arrives on Sun! Instupidly decided to spare her feelings by notntelling her she was crap and simply saying our needs had changed. Bad plan, now she feels utterlymhard done by and I look unreasonable. One thing j wont miss when the kids are older is bloody childcare woes!

urgh arti, how will you get her out?

We interviewed nannies at the weekend. First choice declined the role saying she didn't feel like she had enough experience with older children for us. Clearly not our concern since we offered her the job . and number 2 decided she is isn't looking for work any more. ffs decide that before your interview and don't waste our time . number 3 was a nutter. complete loony.

I'm ill. ill all last week, dragged self to night shifts at weekend. Big mistake. Have pretty much slept since then. Am missing shift after shift, am not getting essays done because I'm in bed and i need to be. I'm not eating. All in all it isn't great. And i still have a shit childminder and no nanny.

Blimey Arti how do you get that sorted??

How are you feeling indith?