The 10th Gemini bus - 2nd Christmas stop

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I'm so lucky to continue to have you ladies to chat to Let's all have a merry Christmas and an even happier 2015!

Has my whinging finally scared everyone away? My sinusitis is subsiding... Come back?!

Calf starts pre-school in 8 hours & 5 minutes... I'm freaking out! He'll love it but I'm scared I'll forget to send him with something or haven't labelled everything... If I label any more things he'll end up with his name neatly printed on his forehead! I nearly had to check with DH that I was writing his name right... How embarrassing would that be if I sent him with his name written wrong?! I really need to get a grip. I've already made DH agree to go into work late so he can come with us so I don't forget which room I'm taking him to... I'm dreading picking him up though... They might call me in & tell me I forgot something!

Aww, of course you haven't scared us away (me anyway). It was a crazy, yet lazy last weekend of winter break so I wasn't really able to get away long enough to have time to myself.

Calf will absolutely love preschool and you will absolutely love the new found freedom it includes! I was the same way when all 3 kids started their Montessori classes, it will get better and the little guy will love it! Best of luck!

I'm regretting sending him already! Such a stressful morning & when we arrived there was no attempt to take him from us, they just said hi as he went through the door & expected him to know what to do. They seemed a bit confused that he didn't immediately go over to the large group of children to join in but didn't seem prepared to do anything to help him join them. I can already see him being left to get on with things by himself because he doesn't demand attention.

I'm getting increasingly concerned that I might have a tooth abscess... As if I need more things to panic about right now!

Frus hope your morning went smoother than mine!

I'm just off to whimper in the corner until 12pm...

Hello lovely ladies. So sorry I e not been about.
Christmas was lovely, told our friends at our Christmas Eve Party and our parents on Chriatmas day, everyone was so happy. N loved Chirstmas, having all the family around and her new scuttlebug 'bike...BIKE!'

Had 2nd private scan last night to find out how many babies there are and we have lost the little heartbeat that we saw just before Christmas. Am off to the EPU in a minute for confirmation and to find out what to do next. I feel so sad. I know it was only a little chickpea, but it was out little chickpea and we loved it already and we would have really loved the little person it grew into being. Now I feel sad and empty and like I've let everyone down, I had to untell my parents and untell my friends, I'd bought a new maternity top as I felt fat and a tiny little babygrow. I keep running around in my mind what I could have done wrong. Was it the glass of champagne on NYE or the time we had sex? Was it because I hadn't taken the folic acid religiously or joked that I didnt want an August baby cos it would be the youngest in school.

I don't know if it's possible to miss someone you never knew, but I miss my little chickpea. I really loved you.

Oh Lib I'm so sorry! It's absolutely nothing you did. You know that. This is in no way your fault, it just happens sometimes. Life can be so cruel. You've not let anyone down. I'm sure all your family & friends will just feel heartbroken for you! Take care of yourself!

Awww Lib I'm so sorry to hear about your little chickpea. So sad and completely unfair! Of course it's absolutely nothing that you could have done to have caused this outcome. These feelings that you're having are totally normal and lots of women express feeling very similarly, so I hope that you able to find someone close to confide in. I hope that your EPU appointment goes smoothly and that they provide individualized and sympathetic care for you. Hugs from afar!

Lib I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how it must feel right now. I'm sure you're taking great comfort knowing that you've achieved one healthy pregnancy already and have your precious dd so it WILL happen again, just not with this chick pea but it will xx

So sorry Lib. I remember how nurturing and excited I felt about my little bean when it was only just barely there. I used to talk to it in my head telling it to hang in there. Totally natural that you loved it. It was YOUR chickpea. Allow yourself time to feel sad and know that's ok. Then rest and let your body feel strong again.

Oh lib what sad sad news
Ofcourse you loved it and do still, in a very short space of time you can imagine your new life of a family of four who they will look like, names you like and ofcourse it was a surprise which made it so much more special because you had to try for so long last time! I can totally understand because it was the exact situation I went through. You've not let anyone down and believe me I didnt, compared to dd1 I'd been a saint! Allready on pre natel vits from breast feeding, no alcohol, no sex it still went wrong and it's very hard to accept but there are just different plans for you, when I look back at mine I have to see it as my dd1 would have missed out on being a single for longer, I'd have had less time for her it just wasn't ment to be this time. Nothing anyone can say will help, just do what is right for you, if that's greave embrace it! For me I couldn't wait to try again I was desperate for another baby and to feel better and it gave me a focus but that's not for everyone
You will never forget your chickpea, it will always be there but you will find it eases after time and I can honestly say I love kitten in a slightly different more special way because of it. I can't describe the love I feel for her and I know if I hadn't had a mc then she wouldn't be here
Please take care of yourself and pm me if you want someone to talk to you but all my love is with you

Brrrrrrrrrrr it's cold! I forgot how I always just want to hibernate in January. Today I've made lamb and beef casserole...its that sort of day and I've discovered that it is far easier to make two at once as they use practically the same ingredients and utensils! Check me

Kids are home from school today as it's so cold here they've shut them all down! It's currently -24 degrees F air temperature with it going down to -40 degrees F with windchill. So yay for us. Stuck in the bloody house with 3 rambunctious kids and no time to get anything done on what is supposed to be my "work day".

I'm not in a very good mood.

Eek, bring - that's cold! for everyone!

Lib how are you doing?

OK I'll zip it about feeling cold then. You totally win Bring

So, at what age can I expect DS to focus on an activity longer then 5-10 minutes? I've now reached the stage where I am struggling to entertain bpear without turning on his favourite Tumble Tots DVD He used to enjoy reading more but now his brain just seems so hyper and wired up. He's lost interest in letting me read to him. He's always ready for me to whisk him away to an amazing soft play, music class or play date. Please tell me it's normal that he can't spend one minute playing on his own and I really do meant it...it's more like 10 seconds. DH described it best tonight "it's like we have a puppy" Obviously I adore being a SAHM but I'm desperate for someone to steer me in the right direction towards entertaining my koala All my friends just say this is why they let others take care of their kids ?? Perhaps it is just another phase and he will find it much easier to entertain himself at home in due coarse!

Frus ~ I thought of you today. I brought fake sand in the sale and opened it today. I ended up doing it on the Aqua Doodle mat turned upside down on the kitchen floor. It was so cool because the sand is firm enough for bpear to fill a cupcake holder (the reusable type) and lift it up without the sand collapsing because it is firmer then real sand. Anyway, it was more messy then playdough but nothing the Hoover couldn't handle. I probably lost about 3 tbsp of sand which isn't too bad. The packet only contains about 4 hand scoops of sand. Enough to make tiny models but not enough to fill a bucket. This activity did manage to last 15 minutes woop woop. Still feels like a short time for all the mess created though! The clearing up was tricky because Bpear wouldn't leave my side and just kept spreading it with his feet...this is when I thought of the anti Playdough ladies

Sounds fun pear! The age you can expect more than 5 minutes of concentration is... erm... sometime after 3yo...! We've not got there yet! I'm trying to work on Calf's concentration. After FIL's comments to DH about HE I was feeling completely disheartened... Now we're doing a 'project book' on a highly intellectual subject of Calf's choosing The Gruffalo's Child! So far we've drawn our own Gruffalos Calf scribbled brown over most of a sheet of paper & a few black (tongue), purple (prickles) & orange (eyes) scribbles, Runt did a tiny brown scribble & threw paper & crayon on the floor & stuck to a piece of paper pictures of most of the woodland animals found in the book & matched them to their tracks left in snow & what they eat. Tomorrow I'm thinking we might attempt to make a Gruffalo cake... but I'm not quite sure what flavour that should be! My plan is to put together this whole project book of all these different activities, write a 'summary of learning' at the back to highlight all the different aspects of learning & extension ideas & get Calf suitably excited by it that he'll want to sit & show it to PILs when we see them at the end of Feb. I just want to prove to FIL that I do know what I'm doing & I'm not actually the ditsy girl persona that I project as a defence mechanism around people who make me feel insecure.

Runt absolutely will not sit for any of these activities though. Except when we watched The Gruffalo's Child on iPlayer... in Gaelic because the only version that came up was on BBC Alba! They were both mesmerised throughout though! I'm trying to do the activities when Calf has finished his breakfast & Runt is still eating. Food is the one thing that will almost always distract Runt. Except for today. We dropped Calf at pre-school he had to be dragged back out of the room just to take his coat/bag off after he went charging in & Runt was really grizzly when I got him home. Utterly beside himself when I tried to put his lunch in front of him. Eventually after 5 minutes of sitting on my lap he calmed down & poked at his food. Clung to me when I tried to put him in his chair but loved it when I put him in Calf's chair! I think he was missing his big brother!

Really not sure how long I'm going to be able to stick with the pre-school. They're super friendly but don't give the impression of being overly professional - I'm struggling to stop myself taking a red pen to their "morning routine" leaflet to correct all their spelling mistakes & handing it back to them! Plus it's very much dropping him at the door & not knowing anything about what he's done - he doesn't tell me anything & there's nothing written on their big "what we've done today" board so I feel like I can't chat to him or engage at all about it. I might take advantage of their open-door policy & hang out for a while on Friday, just so I can get to know what they're up to a bit better! PFB

Seriously? 4 or 5? Wow I'm expecting too much from him aren't I

Agnu ~ most nurseries I've visited fill in a daily diary that the parents take home each day, some even provide poloroid shots of an activity they're doing. You have a right to know what he's up to so don't feel awkward to ask! Definitely ask for my information of his day. Are you happy with the nursery apart from that?

We get a daily sheet from nursery with what he ate, whether he ate most/some/none of it, how many nappies he had and a sentence or two on activities that day. They put photos in his 'personal learning journey' book from time to time too.

Actually they sent him home with a Christmas card for us with photos of him in an elf costume and a snowman costume on it. Absolutely hilarious. God knows where they got the outfits or how they wriggled the toddlers into them.

Lib how are you doing? Hope you're holding up I'm sure your DH, friends and family are being v supporting but don't forget we're here too

That makes sense Frus. Bpear is very much into sand and water. Always has been. Recently he has shown me that he could be more into painting but he doesn't enjoy being constrained so if it was on the floor where he could make lots of mess I think he would enjoy it more. I might invest in those non spill paint pots.