October 2006

[Bronze]

Am I the first one here or have I completely missed the thread? If this is the only thread please come and join me
Bron

heres where your all hiding. typing one handed cause edward is feeding yet again. havnt had a chance to read through yet but hope your all doing well. just a quick question how many of you are sleep sharing. in other words have lo in bed with you at night. i had edward in bed with me last night and it was so much easier. he just latched on when he wanted and i got a bit more sleep than i have done since hes been born.

Gingeme- we've had lo in bed a few times as he settles much quicker although I don't like doing it as I worry he will overheat/suffocate. It's normally when we've run out of other ideas and are desperate to sleep. Having said that the mw's were quick to put him in bed with me in the hospital loads of times and as I could hardly move from c section I couldn't put him back and we had some lovely sleepy cuddles.

phew thanks will try it tonight then. weve got a room thermometer so i know the room isnt too hot for him. the midwife more or less suggested it today saying how easy it is to just suckle him every now and again then sleep in between. but like you say im so scared in case i lay on him or squash him. oh well ill let you know how it goes. just had a quick look through the thread. thats what i love abou mumsnet were all in the same boat.

Message withdrawn

I have Edward in bed with me occasionally when he wakes in the early morning or won't go back to sleep at night. According to the info I got from the hospital co sleeping is supposed to be fairly safe IF you are breastfeeding as apparently BFing mums lie in such a way that the baby is protected from sliding under the covers or being rolled on. It is not recommended if you aren't BFing, if you smoke, if your DP smokes, if either of you have been drinking or if either of you are excessively tired (so thats me out all the time). You should have an absolute minimum of bedding too so that a pillow can't fall on top of them etc.

I would rather that Edward slept in his own cot TBH although those early morning cuddles are lovely because if I fall asleep feeding him I wake up with a numb arm and a cricked neck. I sleep better with him in his cot.

Hi everyone - Megan is doing really well and I don't have any concerns about her ... but for those of you who are on baby no. 2 or more, did you struggle with your eldest when you had your second/are you struggling with your eldest? I love my dd to pieces - she is everything to me, but my feelings toward her seem to have changed somehow and I feel that all I do is whinge at her. She has been thrown out of her routine dramatically and hasn't slept in the afternoon properly for the past week or so, so I know that her behaviour is mainly down to tiredness, but I really struggle with her. She has this high pitched scream that she gives out when she can't get what she wants, says no all the time, seems to have become even more of a 'daddy's girl, I love her with all my heart, but I really appreciate it when dh takes her out and leaves me and lo on our own. Is this normal? Am I really awful? I won't get depressed due to baby, it will be because of the way I am feeling/beating myself up over dd.

Sorry for long post. Just need some advice really.

girlygale this is my 4th baby and though my first 2 are a bit older my 3rd is 2 and a half and though so far has been an angel towards his new dh he is starting to play up a bit now. his new word is no and yes little things he does that i would normaly let lie i have ago at him about then feel awfuly guilty about it after. just give your ds alot of cuddles. if someone has bought baby a gift try to ak them to get her one too. if your breast feeding let her sit with you while your doing it. we bought ds a gift from his baby brother which he shows everyone and tells them who bought it. he even drew his db a picture at nursery today

just spent last hour in tears,fed baby for 40 mins,then she went for a nap,so after she had been asleep for an hour i expressed,still only got just over 2ounces and it took nearly 45 mins.Half hour later baby woke up,had to feed her again,she screamed when taken off breast,so just had to give her the bottle to.She finished it in 2mins.Also had big row with DH as i wanted to leave him with baby and bottle so i could go for a bath and he said,well 2 ounces wont do much will it?Im so fed up,my friend can express 6ounces in 10 mins and she started expressing on same day as me,her baby is the same age.I know my baby is putting on weight but i am so fed up with the constant feeding.I feel like a terrible mum as she been screaming and rooting since she finished the bottle but im refusing to go downstairs and feed her again.
The only good point is that she slept for 7hrs last night so at least i dont feel like a zombie today.

totally, I'm in the same boat; he just fed for an hour and is now rooting and screaming. It's awful but I've come to the conclusion that he's had a cuddle, a clean nappy and LOADS of food, so he's blumming well going to be put down to sleep!

Having said that, he's stopped crying now so maybe that's OK (fingers crossed).. will try and sneak off to bed.

Message withdrawn

Another bfing complainer here: yet another bad night after a bad day. W seems to be feeding all the time and getting v windy and cross during the day, crying all evening, then waking every hr at night. No idea what to do

OK, have been reading up on growth spurts and they last 2-3 days (not 1 as I thought) and wd explain the frequent feeds and the fussiness. So this is normal tho knackering! Feel less like a crap mum now and am going to try another nap as W ha finally gone back to sleep

Oh, and it's supposed to get much easier after 6-8 weeks so hang in there!

hi everyone, i've been trying to read all the post on this thread but never have a moment obviously. what i did read last night really cheered me up, everyone else is going through the same stuff as me. it's really hard.
i know as the resident osteopath this is all i ever say, but hope's feeding improved dramatically after we went to see my osteopath. she wasn't opening her jaw properly on the right boob and she never turned her head to the left either. thank god for the improvement because the 'bad boob' as it's known in our house was looking like something off a horror film. also seems to have helped with her seeming to be a bit constipated although her poo seems v solid for a tiny baby-any one else experiencing this-v grainy and dry?
swizzler comiserations on last night, not great here either.

Welocme Marthahm and welcome to your DD - love the name. Thought you'd never get here with LO taking her time to come out...Not sure about the poo thing - grainy I know is normal if you BF but not sure about dry...

Nicand2: have you tried using a nipple shield? It helped me when DD was clamping down hard on my nipple rather than latching on fully (though I know some people think these shields are the devils' work)... just a thought anyway..

Catgirl - the campsite we stayed at is called the Warren and is very well known in camping circles - it is partway up the white cliffs at Folkestone and is a 'purist' kind of place - no noise or bright lights afte 11pm and everyone 'behaves' (all very civilised). There is no cafe or anything. The favourite bits are the views over the ocean, the peace and the fabulously clean toilets/showers (especially the family room with it's own shower and toilet - great when yo've got LO's). Other good thing is that Folkestone sea front has a huge lottery-funded free 'childrens park' with huge wooden pirate ships and rope frames and suchlike dotted amongst the trees, and a sandpit that must be about 30 feet across with boulders for the mums to sit on. Ideal for 6YO upwards but a few bits for toddlers as well. You need to book the Warren as it gets very busy and if you take a caravan make sure you have a VERY confident driver as the road down to the site is hairy. If the Warren is booked when you want to go ask them the name of the place further up the cliff - there is another campsite (with a cafe) further up the hill.....

Our ds1 was 2 1/4 when we had dd. He more-or-less sent me to Coventry for a few days when we camehome with her, but settlrd down to sharing me with her fairly easily. It took him over a year to accept that he had to share his daddy with her though, and we made it worse by splitting the childcare with dh looking after ds amnd me looking after the baby. We won't let that happern this time! Inevitably dh is looking after them more right now, but I'll be handing ds2 over to him as often as poss, as soon asd poss. My wise exHV said to me "All the baby needs is love and milk - but her brother needs his mummy" and I wish we'd paid more attention to her advice.

I also found that I expected far too much drom my oleder child - all of a sudden he seemed so grown-up, compared tio the baby. But of course the older child needs to be babied more at this stage. They need the reassurance that they are still your baby, and have not been discarded fo a newer model. Try to let things slide, the less you say no and reprimand now, the easier it will be for the older child to accept his new position and settle dowmn. DD hugs ds so tightly and so frequently taht it really gets disruptive, but I rarely say anythin aBOUt iyt to her, as I'm sure it's a combination of novelty and trsting us. If I don't make a deal of it I think she will eventualky leave him in peace, which I'm sure will not happen if I tell her "no" all the time.

not 'trusting us', but 'testing us'.

Well, I've plenty of toime to work on improving my one-handed typing!

totally - I know how you feel - but they aren't always hungry when they root - often may be just tired. I put DS to bed last night (fell asleep on boob in a drunken stuffed full of milk manner) then went to supermarket. As soon as I'd gone he woke up and screamed and screamed but he did settle for my DH WITHOUT milk. If I'd been there he'd have just had more milk to settle him.
Keep trying with the expressing. I only got 2oz this morning as well and it took me ages. We'll get there in the end. Have you tried holding a hot flannel over boobs before expressing/doing it after a bath? That was a tip I was going to try tomorrow. Good luck. (and tell DH to take your LO for a long walk/drive so you can have a bath - 2oz will ensure they don't starve even if it doesn't fill their tummy and YOU NEED A BREAK!)

Have to go and get DD up now - got nursery halloween party today. Am feeling really really jittery and shaky as went shopping this am and stupidly had caffeinated coffee in starbucks. After drinking decaf during PG my system can't take it!

Top tip of the day: (I was AMAZED this worked, but it did, where nothing else had): If you have a blocked duct (sore lumpy bit of boob) then get a wide toothed comb and comb firmly towards the nipple before feeding. It works brilliantly. My 'lumpy' boob is loads softer now having done this a couple of times.

Will read rest of thread later, need to go and dress my little bat...

oh, and swizzler - I have had two crappy nights just like you describe as well. Sleeps till two/three then feeds, then is windy and unsettled and wants to feed hourly. I am knackered.

Good afternoon ladies. Tried Edward in bed with us last night and what a difference it made. I started off laying him in his moses basket with a t shirt I had on yesterday to see if that helped having my smell near him but no. I tried swaddling him but just like ds3 he wriggled free and cried all the more so by 12 Id had enough and put him in with me. He fell asleep staight away. Next I woke at 3.30 latched him on, must have fallen asleep because it was around 6 am when he woke again. Latched him on and then slept till 8 when ds3 got up. Wow I nearly feel like Ive had some sleep, sort of.
He seems to be feeding better today too. Going about 2 and half hours between feeds which has been so much easier.
swizzler is William feeding for about 10 mins then falling asleep? Edward was doing this so my midwife said when he falls asleep sit him up give him a burp,change his bum anything to keep him stimulated then feed him again and keep rubbing his hands and keeping him awake while hes feeding. That seems to have helped Edward to feed a bit longer and go longer between feeds.
Sorry for long post hope it helps a bit.

Hi all,thanks for support.Lexie v.gd last night and slept from midnight til 6;30.I did end up feeding her again though!She was screaming so much,i fed her for 30mins before midnight.
I tried expressing again,did it this morning and got twice as much out,unfortunatly she woke up as soon as i finished and of course i had hardly any milk left to feed her,so she drank the bottle too i dont see how im ever going to build up a stock of the stuff.I bought some formula today though.If i give her one formula a day for a while i should be able to express a feed without my milk drying up and then i can stop the formula again.Have also started giving her infacol,Health visitor recommended it as she so windy and unsettled in evening,its quite gd,she burped for first time ever after a feed,usually she just screams while i try desperatly to wind her and i can feel all the little bubbles rippling inside her.I will let you know if it makes a big difference

2oz? That sounds super to me! I was feeling very pleased with myself last night, as dh gave ds2 a bottle of ebm, the product of 3 pumping sessions over about 36h - all of 1 3/4 oz!

Totallyfloaty: might try the Infacol and see if it helps. W has been a bit calmer today, tho still feeding a lot. I try and get him to feed as lomg as poss during the day, but at night just feed and put back down. I find that I try and wake him a bit (e.g. nappy change) he gets v agitated and takes ages to resettle - I guess he needs his sleep as well (tho content with 1-hr slots).

The no sleep is hard, isn't it? I keep telling myself it's a phase and things will settle soon...

Thats right Swizzler keep telling youself that. It does settle down and a routine is soon in place. You probably wont even realise it. Took Edward out in the buggy today. So used to pushing ds3 about in it it was realy light. Kept pinging it up the kerb cause it was so light. His trick is to want a feed at 6 now just as Im sitting down for my dinnerBut yes hopefuly sooner rather than later there will be some respitesoon. Cant believe Edwards a week old already. Its so true it goes so quick. Hope your nights go a bit better.

Hi all you sleep deprived mums! How I long for a full nights kip - still better than suffering with dodgy pelvis and getting up to the toilet every 2 hours!!!

I took dd to her trampolining this afternoon and there were a couple of other women there that have got daughters same age as my dd and they have just had lo's - apparently they have been through exactly the same thing. Their little girls are real daddy's girls and when they had their 2nd, they were rejected and still are. It is reassuring to know that I am not the only one, but was in tears today as she was just so nasty (crickey 32 year old reduced to tears by a 2.5 year old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how sad is that!)

I will try to take some more time out for dd - but she won't let me near her, she just wants her dad all the time. Am hoping we can all go to her toddler group tommorrow so at least we are all together.

Sorry for long post ... am very tired, and down.

... on the rooting front when the baby has just been fed ... how does everyone feel about dummies? I know they look awful, but they do work. It can help you get some sleep, or at least get on to do a few things in between feeds.

Girlygale: W will sometimes take a dummy, but if he's hungry he'll just spit it out. Hope things settlde down with your DD - it must take a awhile for all of you to adjust.

Light at the end of thetunnel: W now sleeping for 2-3 hrs betw feeds at night Hope this will last & we've seen the end of the growth spurt. He's lying in my arms looking angelic at the mo. He's fascinated by the computer screen