October 2006

[Bronze]

Am I the first one here or have I completely missed the thread? If this is the only thread please come and join me
Bron

aha, thanks, will try the warming in a pan. I'm scared of microwaves, but it does sound easy!

Incandescent with rage at MIL who arrived this evening, marched straight into baby's room where he was asleep, turned the light on and picked him up out of the cot. I know she was mad on seeing him but I was absolutely furious and burst into tears (hormonal new mum). My own mum was here over the weekend and always asked if it was a good time for a cuddle etc... in my family we just wouldn't go and grab the baby without checking it was ok, specially when newborn. He then wouldn't go back to sleep and cried for most of the evening (which admittedly is not his best time anyway).

grrr. It's just too much when visitors are there really.
anyway he's swaddled and temporarily quiet so will try to get some kip so I can be civil tomorrow,

hope your little ones are all sleeping soundly!

Well, W is asleep now, but not at night ... am hoping he sort that one out eventually. Gemmity: I'm finding W hard ot settle at night as well - he takes longer to feed and will often have a little feed, zizz off and then another just as I'm trying to get some sleep myself. He seems to find it harder to latch on at night as well. Possibly because he's tired?

Sympathies re your MIL: we've banned visitors for the first couple of weeks so we can get our heads around everything. MIL visited us in hospital, but that's it for a while.

hello again all...we've just got back from a weekend at the inlaws - busy but nice to be waited on. DD loved all the attention, she cried when she was left at nursery this morning and she hasn't done that for over a year. Feel like BAD mummy. DH at home on pat leave still but having to do some work as well so not really a great help. Plus he can't feed DS so doubly scuppered.
Still have sore boobs - left one ok, right one SORE. Will go to GP tomorrow if no better but don't really fancy antibiotics as will no doubt make babes tummy sore...
Haven't got round to expressing much yet, can't remember how to work the steriliser and can't be bothered to look for the instructions. Have bought some bottles though so almost there...
Edward sleeping ok-ish. Started cosleeping as not getting any sleep, but as I'll be back at work in Feb he needs to learn how to sleep without me there (I work nights and late evenings a lot) so he's in his little crib. Settles ok at the minute, keeping fingers crossed that it lasts. Still needing to feed every couple of hours at night though, and just snacking all day. Am trying to get into banned baby guru type routine to make life easier for him when he has to be looked after by other people. LOVE the quote about making a nest - it is exactly how I feel. Hard to go against your maternal instincts but I really think a routine will be best for him in the long run.
Anyway have to go, babe has hospital appt to check for anaemia as he was jaundiced at birth. So will expect screaming all evening. Yay!

hope all well for you, take care.

Message withdrawn

How come I never get time to switch on this computer........

Anyway, Samantha is doing fine, I just worry about her every 5 seconds.
BF is nearly stopped, DD wanted to feed every hour for 30 minutes, not much sleep had lately. Swapped purely to expressed milk and for anyone that is thinking of trying it is hard work-wash, sterilse, express and feed. Now we are slowly swapping to good old SMA. I feel like I failed.

BTW breast milk I've been warming back to room temperature in a jug of hot water.

Me- my 16 stitches are healing well, got infection so slowed things down. Want to run before I can walk. Got baby blues and OH can't understand why the floods of tears each night!

Pmoore: get as much support and rest as you can. Get to your GP if things don't improve. I know what you mean about the worrying - I was in tears last night thinking what I would do if something happened to William. Don't feel guilty about the bfing either - if you need to go on to bottle feeds Samantha will be just fine. The feeding you've done so far will have done lots of good, especially those first few days of colostrum with all the antibodies or whatever in it.

Would it be worth getting an expert to check your latch just in case that would help? Don't know much about it, but there are lots of experts on here that could help.

pmoore - baby blues are AWFUL but they should go away - if you are still feeling crappy and permanently tearful after a week or so please see your GP or HV. I had a difficult labour, stitches and infection with stitches breaking down the first time. I felt like crap for months. I would measure my success as a mum each day in terms of whether I had cried, whether DD had cried or whether we both cried. Looking back and comparing it to this time I think I was fairly severely depressed. I wish I'd asked someone for help at the time rather than just hoping the cloud would lift because it doesn't have to be like that.
Don't stress about the feeding - formula milk isn't poison and millions of babies do just fine on it. Beating yourself up won't do you any good but I think that the maternal guilt comes as part of the whole baby package. Expressing only will probably lead to your milk supply drying up as a pump is nowhere near as efficient as a baby at getting the milk out. Do whatever makes YOU happy - happy mum = happy baby.

Milliee - my whole boob is sore. With hard lumpy bits. And a sore nipple. That boob is problematic anyway due to cysts and nipple slightly flatter than other side so knew I'd end up having problems. It feels a bit better this evening though having forced DS to feed from it first all day. Would try the cabbage tip if I could be bothered to go to the supermarket to buy one!! Sent DH with a list of rubbish a mile long. Sitting here stuffing my face with lemon sorbet. MMMM. My appetite is huge now I don't have a massive baby sitting squashing my stomach...

Hope everyone has a peaceful night...

p.s Is it unreasonable to want to sleep in same bed as DH? I'm in spare room at the mo with baby, and while it makes more sense to do it that way, I would really quite like to snuggle up to DH again...he isn't tremendously keen on the idea of sleepless nights tho...

pmoore, I really sympathise, I think most new mums feel like this (I'm certainly having at least 3-4 daily cries and feel as if I"m failing a lot of the time), and hope you're getting the help and support you need. BF is not easy by any means and it's not the end of the world if you can't..

sallyrosie, I had these gel pads which the hospital got for me, you put them in the fridge and then wear them on the nipples between feeds. they helped quite a lot, but I've heard the cabbage thing is good too... I'm also trying the forbidden guru routine and have to say it's working quite well at the moment, though I'm not expressing or anything.

swizzler, think you have the right idea about visitors: trouble is, I'm staying with FIL and step MIL, and my mum and MIL have all visited already, with my dad coming next week. still, it's bliss tonight with everyone out and just me and DH (and littly of course)!

chins up everyone! It won't last and soon we'll be looking back and getting broody for our newborns!

Message withdrawn

Well, another difficult night - W feeding constantly and fussing between 9 and midnight. At least he then goes for 1.5-2 hours after that till about 7 - just had an awake period and has snoozed off again.

Gem: what kind of routine are you following? I have some idea now about when W is asleep and awake, so thought I would try some kind of bedtime routine to settle him down. Seems like the fussing is because he's tired and cross.

Pmoore: hope you feel better today. Do get all the rest you can.

Morning every1,

Thank you all for your kind posts, it is so nice to get positive response from people that know I may be feeling.

OH is still in bed with a sleeping Samantha in moses basket next to him, so time to catch up on mumsnet alone. We had our first dirty nappy in 6 days at 4am this morning. Midwife says normal for BF babies to go this long, now formula milk in her she'll start going!

Absolutely dreading Friday when DP goes back to work but maybe I can start getting out and about more.
May try and drive today as stitches feeling a little better.

sallyrosie- you mentioned hard lumpy boobs when feeding try gentle stroking across the lumps towards the nipple as you are feeding, think there may be some blockages - thats what b-fing midwife suggested. Do not push down on them as you are feeding though they'll block even more and end up with mastitis.

Sorry for long posting. So much to say!

swizzler- just to let you know that the midwife said that babies are at their most restless between 11pm and 5am because of being plunged into silence after 9 months of stomach noises and heartbeats. Try a radio or we leave tv on. Not too sure how much more sleep deprived the parents get!

Pmoore: will try radio this eve, as well as bath and soothing music. Have brought brib through to living room to a) get him used to napping in there and b) establish difference between day and night. May have sod all effect but makes me feel like I'm doig something positive. Will try nap on sofa while I have the chance - I recommend you do the same

Hooray! Edward had a pretty good night - went to bed at 7, slept till 10, fed well, back to sleep till 3, fed well, woke at 5 a bit cold and burpy so had little feed then back to sleep till 7 and is now playing with daddy.
I never realised that this was possible with DD -can HIGHLY recommend the routine books without mentioning any names of particular gurus, you get your evening back. And baby gets decent feeds rather than doing what DD used to do and snacking the whole time then having a sore tummy although sometimes during the day I am having to totally strip him off apart from nappy to keep him awake long enough to have a proper feed rather than falling off after 5 mins. He really does seem like a happy little guy at the mo, now just need to crack the whole 'having naps in my cot' thing - at the minute he will go down for sleeps in the daytime but not nearly as easily as at night.

Thanks for all advice about boobs - think there may well be cysts partially blocking drainage and making boob bulky and hard to latch on. Will make appt to see GP. No mastitis though, and feel more comfy today.

Sallyrosie: what bedtime routine do you follow? Cd you post details without mentioning problem names?

|Hi everyone - finding it nigh on impossible to get to computer. Had the day from hell yesterday DD was stuck to the booby all day - fed from one boob to the other for 5 solid hours last night!! Loads of screaming on between. Only had 2 hours sleep previous night so was frazzled to say the least. Had major probs breastfeeding to begin with as I have 'flat' nipples apparently, so was hard for baby to latch on. You kinda think that it will come naturally, but is soo doesn't. Takes practice for me and baby. She is now catching up with all the weight she lost when first got home - poor wee soul got weighed yesterday and had lost 10 ounces off her birth weight and she has defo put weight back on in the last 5 days, so she must have lost loads to begin with.
How was everyone's labour? What you expected or better or worse? Did the birth plan go out the window? Mine certainly did! How did your OH cope? xx

Hi Rumpel,i had a night just like yours last night,she fed for hours,my milk had just come in,so it felt like zepplins attached to my front and i was so exhausted.
Rumpel,dont worry about your birth plan either,i was supposed to have home waterbirth,it was bloody agony and i almost got to 10cms on only gas an air,which im very proud of myself for,but at the time i felt like drowning myself in the pool i was in so much pain.When mw mentioned hospital as my cervix was actually starting to close i was so relieved i almost kissed her,i was screaming for an epidural by then and demanding the ambulance man put the sirens on to avoid the traffic.When i was told it would take 20mins for the epidural to kick in,i started yelling no no that 6 more contractions to get through i cant bear it.
But the baby came out and i think in the end i had the birth i wanted as well as needed.I think we should all give ourselves a pat on the back,after all no man i know would manage childbirth and still be sane.

the whole routine basically goes:
wake at 7, big feed, play
put down for a sleep at nine (without feeding off to sleep)
wake up at 10-10.30, big feed, wash, dress, play
sleep 12-2
wake at 2, big feed, play till 4
sleep 4-5, wake, big feed 5-6, bath at six, more milk, bed at seven
wake at 10 - nappy change, big feed, sleep
feed when wakes at night - aim for once only

its working pretty well - I find it hard to keep him awake in the afternoon tho!
spacing the feeds has def helped as previously was doing demand feeding and he wouldn't have a proper feed and just wanted to snack and sleep all day then fill up at night, I am having to really encourage him to take both sides and feed well though but feel a whole lot calmer than I did with DD. I am not tied to the house either as I can take him out at 'nap' times in the car etc and it gives me time for DD and to get stuff done in the house

rumpel, for me the thing I most feared about labour (lady bits being mangled) didn't happen, but other things I didn't think would happen did (epidural not working, 50 hours of contractions), but all in all I feel happy about the experience and not put off doing it again (would def go for epi again though in the hope that it would work this time

swizzler, it sounds like sallyrosie and I are following pretty much the same routine. Up and big feed at 7 and little play, nap from half eight till 10, feed at 10 and play/social time, big nap from 11.30=2 (during which we go out to the park or town), feed at 2 and more play or at least being vaguely awake till 3.30 when nap till 5, then feed at 5, bath at 6, top up feed at 6.15 and into bed at 7, then feed at 10 pm if poss, but he usually wants it a bit earlier, then I'm feeding either at 1.30 and then 5-6 ish or if lucky only at 2.30 and then not till 7.

It might not work with all babies but fingers crossed with him it is working a dream so far and I am sleeping at least 6 hours in total per night with only one major night feed.. Otherwise I think I'd be insane by now.

Saying that, it will probably go haywire any minute. the inlaws think it's amusing to try and have a routine with a tiny baby, but I'm just trying to see if it works.

In terms of bedtime, we're bathing him and then trying to be very calm, singing the same sleepy song every night etc (haven't got round to getting a music box thing yet),

it's all very knackering though, isn't it!

sorry, I forgot, there's a little top up feed at 11.15 just before the nap.

I am a fascist mother...

Message withdrawn

yep, I am also a fascist mother, but I am a fascist mother who is getting some sleep each night and time to have a shower and eat food during the day so I have no shame in admitting it!

rumpel - re labour, this time around it was all so much easier than last time - spontaneous start of contractions, spent most of day pootling about the house in between breathing and trying to convince myself it was all a false start. Took 2 hours from when I got to hospital to delivery. I'd planned to use gas and air this time and it worked really well - made me very sick first time round.
It absolutely bloody KNACKS having a baby, and I don't think anything can possibly prepare you for the intensity of the pain and the fear that hits once it starts. I was much better this time as was mentally prepared for how painful it was going to be.

Thanks for the info. I'm somewhere inbetween - demand feeding, but trying to get up and go to bed at same time (about 7 am/pm) with walk in afternoon. W still feeding every 2 hrs, but much calmer last night after bath and move to our room for feeds and slept in crib (yay!). I'm leaving a stricter rotine till his feeding pattern settles down (hopeful emoticon). He's happy and putting on weight, and we got a peaceful evening for the first time in a week .

Rumpel: my labour was much quicker yhan I expected - 2nd stage 57 mins. I was using a tens for pain relief and the next thing I knew I was pushing. No time for anything else, inc gas and air. In the end W's heartbeat dropped, so they did an episiotomy and yanked him out - the cord was round his neck. So instead of my water birth I was on my back, with continuous monitoring. Far more scary than I thought it wd be, but am so glad the nedical staff were there and acted promptly.

swizzler - glad you had a peaceful night, an evening bath really seems to relax my LO and chill him out. Bought one of those tummy tubs which is great for letting him bring up burps but impossible to wash his bottom!

I was also glad I was in hospital despite everything going smoothly- his shoulders got stuck and it could all have been very nasty. As it was pressing the emergency button got 2 obstetricians, 1 paediatrician and 3 more midwives in the room within 10 seconds and they got him out safely, he was a little bit purple faced for a few hours but all was well in the end.

Been to get him weighed this morning - at 17 days old he now weighs 10lb 12oz. Feel rather sadly chuffed with myself for producing all that milk!!

p.s was also VERY quick - second stage (including his shoulders getting stuck and all hell breaking loose) lasted a grand total of 12 minutes! Was weird feeling the urge to push - MW and DH were telling me not too as they didn't think I was fully dilated, but I just couldn't NOT it was such a strong feeling - hadn't had that with DD as had epidural.