Here comes the terrible twos!!! (OCT 04 TODDLERS)

[biglips]

wwwwwweeeelllllllll im still calm.... (just about!!)...

Hi jbadgirl - thanks for posting. We're all thinking of you & your dh.

Hi Jbad, it does seem things were never straight forward with Toby, so you're probably right about him chuckling.
I'm glad to hear you are having a chance to relax and not get too stressed. Keep us up to date on what happens.
Thinking about you and your DH.
I think Cazzy and Biglips are away this week.
How are you getting on Kath?

Hiya Masie - we're pootling along as usual thanks for asking - how's Alfie?

hiya girls....im back!!! and ive lost my engagement ring!!! oh well!!!

thanks jbad for posting on here for the updates. x

Oh dear biglips, was your dp(h???) cross?

I have lost my wedding pearls too .

I am back too - it was cold in Wales (but better, I suppose, that tooo hot).

cazzy... that was supposed to be not on my last post ....

im supposed to be going to cardiff this weekend - hope the weather will pick up!

How are you with the pg and also Grace? Tweenie is just getting funnier and funnier by the day as whilst we were camping (Thats where i was but not where i lost the ring) she was so desperate to get on the stage all by herself so i said go on then..she took off like a rocket and was dancing in front of a few people that were there She aint got a shy bone in her body at all!!. Also she learnt Tia Chi on the stage with the expert and a few people - she loves it. (the expert thought she was 4). She grab anyone to say Hiya.

A few people and us had said that whilst her confidence is strong and high, thinking of putting her in a Drama and Dance class.. will see.

cazzy - no dp was upset too but he hold it well.

Pregnacy seem to be going well - except pelvic floor (best not to stand too close if I sneeze). Have just ordered a bed for Grace - not that she hasn't needed one for a while. SHe is looking very very big in her cot and I am getting pissed off at getting out of bed to get her. It was a bed or playroom storage - so the playroom toys will have to remain in boxes for a while yet! Maybe till Grace starts school and I have more money (role on 2009)!

I was working out why we where so poor (in terms of dispossible income) till I realised how much we where paying in terms of childcare - about 10000 a year! Bloody hell! AND it is only going to get worse with 2! Please god let interest rats go down and the dollar recover against the pound!

Well I finally got round to toilet training geog - took about a day and a half. He is very pleased with himself and was duely rewarded with the farmer pickles toy that he was eyeing up. I'm very glad as didn't want him starting pre school in nappies. He starts in 3 weeks, today his badge and a colouring book explaining what he will do there came, getting a letter that was adressed to him was the highlight of his year!

GEOG - WHERE HAVE U BEEN!!?!?!?!?!?!?!????!?!!!!!

Been trying to get hold of you!....There had been sad news on here for Jbad - see her post on Thu 02-Aug-07 07:00:50 and we are all gathering together to buy Jbad summat from us. Please contact Maisie (i hope you dont mind maisie??) on maisiemog at gmail dot com as im away for this weekend.

and well done for the potty training!

Hello all, well we still dont have all the results from the post mortem. They are waiting for the neuro pathologist to give the results from his brain. The other results show that there are no obvious causes of death. It is quite frustrating to be waiting for so long to lay him to rest but hopefully we wont have to wait too much longer.
We went to see the funeral directors to start making some provisional arrangements which is helping because we now know what we need to be thinking about, and my brother is looking at places we could go after the service. We have decided to have a service that is a celebration of his life rather than a religious one.
Not sure if i said before but the day after he died we were outside and we saw 2 rainbows, it was strange because it felt like he had sent us a sign that he was ok. One of the songs that we have chosen for the service is "over the rainbow" by eva cassidy. Its such a beautiful song and fits well given the situation after the rainbows!
We are going to southampton on wednesday for his test results that he had recently. I am quite pleased that we have something to do and will be interested to find out the findings if there are any.
The coroner has released his body to funeral directors but still have to wait for funeral as we need a death certificate, but its a small step forward. Even though the hospital was like our second home i know it will be nicer there.
Anyway i thought i would let you know what was going on with us. Doing ok generally still missing him terribly and feel empty and in limbo but trying to find things to do and our house has never been so tidy!!!!! Even dh has been cleaning, damn i should have taken some pics!!!

jbadgirl - sorry things are a bit frustrating & that you're not getting any answers. I know what you mean about the rainbows, when my dad died my aunty told me that after my grandad had died she noticed a robin was everywhere she went & she liked to think of it as my grandad watching over her. At my dads wake ( which was in the summer) someone looked out of the window and said "thats really strange, there's 2 robins in the garden & you'd think they were looking straight at us" Gosh - I sound a bit mad now don't I?

jbadgirl - I am glad you are doing OK. WE all miss Tody too. I am also really glad you haven't disappeared. I hope you are going to stay on here if it not too painful for you?

I have just got back from a w/e in Paris which was fab but not a city for small children.

Hello, thought I would fill you in on our trip to southampton to see neurologist. Funnily enough our neuro knows the neuro pathologist in great ormond street and has found a diagnosis for Toby, which is also his cause of death. He had Aicardi-Goutieres syndrome which is a progrssive brain disorder. If you search it on the web there is more info on it. It is very rare (about 50 cases worldwide) everything about it relates to Toby and is so interesting. It is genetic so we will have to have genetic councilling and to find out the chances of future children having it. They think its a 1 in 4 chance each pregnancy. Our neuro has only seen one case before when she worked in great ormond street in 1990. We know this info before the coroner so still have to wait for him to get back to us about death certificate etc.

I am glad you have got answers (some).

THANKYOU EVERYONE FOR THE LOVELY PLANT!

Yay! It arrived OK. I'm glad you like it. We just wanted you to know we were all thinking about you and thinking about Tobes.
Couldn't send a big hug, which was a shame.

Yes its lovely, hope it grows some nice limes!

We have now registered Tobys death and been arranging his funeral. Its going to be on the 10th September. Just have to get through that part now.

So you are slowly getting through the process. Is it too slow? Is it helping to keep busy?
I hope the tree has lovely limes, and of course you can use the leaves now.

I think it has been too long because we had to wait for a month for pm results but now we have a date booked for funeral we can focus on more. We have still got quite a lot to do but only really organising food, drinks and the service. The ministe/humanist is coming round tomorrow to talk about it so that will be another thing done and crossed off the list. We have chosen some items to go in with Toby, his blue teddy that dh bought for him (his first one!) and his blue blanket that he always had on him. I found a mirror bauball that we had on our xmas tree in the loft which goes along with all the sensory stuff we had for him. I am going to write him a letter and put photos of our families in there with him too. I do think its something we have to do to help us cope with him moving on and I like the thought of these items going with him wherever he goes.

That sounds really lovely, putting in his toys and the bauble. I remember when you were setting up the sensory room.
Have you written down what you want the humanist person to say?

The humanist man came round yesterday and found out all about Toby he is a nice man and will do a fab service. One of our friends is going to read something on behalf of us which will be nice and takes the pressure off us having to say it ourslves. We are having a poem "welcoming a special child" which is lovely too.

Been out to Bookers today to buy vast amounts of alcohol and soft drinks and stuff for the afters. Gosh there is so much organising to do. Luckily I am an organised person and have it mostly sorted!!!!!

YEAH!!!! the lime tree had arrived (i want one of them too!!). Good luck and loads of hugs to you for 10th September xxxxx {{{{hugs}}}}

jbad - ive just read about the "Aicardi-Goutieres syndrome"....but what did actually caused his heart to stop?

We know there are 2 causes to his death 1 being pneumonia and the other was the syndrome. The syndrome causes the brain to deteriorate and the doc said without meaning it horrible that it was "rotting". I think that his brain was bad and because it controls everything something had to go. Hope that makes sense