September 2006 babies

[Lysettes]

Start of our september 2006 post natal thread!

Compo - We started DS1 on AR formula ("added rice") at about 8 weeks and that seemed to immediately increase his night sleeping hours, but not sure if it actually was the AR or whether he would've slept anyway at that time ... for what it's worth we'll try same thing with DS2 though!

Liquid - I only know formula is O.K. up to one hour outside refridge; seems like breast milk would be about the same? We haven't reheated any formula twice. Had a few good days in a row and opted not to take ADs, but prescription is filled, so I can take later if needed. The way we've set up DS2's care this time, the hardest days, for me, still lie ahead. Re: our earlier conversation: Went to pick up Imitrex (for migraines, which I've had again) from pharm. & it was equivalent of 1.5BP per pill. That's 20% of total cost; rest is covered by Aetna. Asked pharmacist how someone without insurance could afford, & she said "they'd just have to try not to get a migraine, I guess." So much for glass half full, I think. Wake up call for me.

the idea is that the formula is heavier in their tummies so takes longer to digest, allowing them to sleep longer! jake has been on 4 hours all day today, so we'll see how long that lasts!

thanks for whoever suggested getting in the bath with him - he's liking it much more - the only problem now is that we have to bath him about 30 mins after he's fed as he's still sleeping so much and after he's all changed and massaged he then does this amazing power vomit! but he's not bothered by it at all.

off to try and get some sleep now before the next feed!

lol everyone - I've applied to join the yahoo group so please someone approve me!

Lysettes - you're approved!

Midnight Feeding Poll: Do you watch TV? Listen to music? Read? If so, what?

(mine's The Dave Chappelle show on Comedy Central at 2:30 am - if I have to be up, I want to be laughing.)

Morning everyone. Marls - so glad you're feeling a bit better. Thanks for all the responses re formula. I feel bad but I'm pretty sure i'll give up b/feeding at around the 6 week mark. I really hate it and yesterday had a bit of a nightmare, see this thread I know it's selfish but I just don't feel like I have any life at all when breast feeding and I keep thinking a happy mother = a happy baby. Maybe I'll change my mind if a routine is more established in a few weeks, who knows.
Marls - I just feed dd in a darkened room at night from about 10pm onwards. Before that me and dh have been watching The OC on dvd as I love it and dh has realised I'm a bit low so he's being a star and trying to cheer me up.
Pol26 - so sorry to hear about your troubles with dp. he really needs to sort his priorities out and help you 100% more than what he's doing at the moment

hello girls!
i have not had sex again yet btw.

for those of you who are bf'ing. do you appear to have enough milk?
i'm really struggling here. went out and bought an electric pump (£90) and some dr.brown's bottles so dh can give some feeds but no bloody milk comes out. an ounce last night in about an hour on and off- that's pathetic.
in the evening my milk has dried up and a couple of evenings i have had to give him an ounce or 2 of formula to get him to sleep as he's frantic.
is anyone else having similar probs?
please say yes as i feel useless and pathetic i cant even feed my son and am thinking of just formula feeding exclusively and i dont want to.

not meant to offend anyone who formula feeds but i ffed ds1 and it was such a hassle.

I'm the other way around 2b0b, expressing is easy but 'proper' BF is hard, though I've stopped bleeding now (thanks for sympathy Cori). Still, I prefer expressing into a bottle for 10 mins before each feed (while Alex has a dummy) than makng up formula as I did with DS1 which took around the same amount of time - swings and roundabouts as they say. I've heard that if you're having trouble expressing then looking at a picture of baby can help.

Marls - sirry to hear you've needed the imitrex, hope it's working for you. I'm on that and low dose amitryptiline and so far i've had auras but no migraine so fingers crossed it stays that way. re price, I paid the equivalent of abou $35 in Italy 3 yrs ago for just 4 tablets, it made me feel very lucky to have subsidesed meds here.

(goodness, typing one-handed is so slow!)

Pol - very pleased to hear DP is starting to help out, step in the right direction hopefully.

My DH managed to slice the webbing between his ring an little finger last night on a tin and had to to a&e to be 'glued' - he's not allowed to get it wet now so I'm having to do my most hated job of washing up along with everything else now. Poor DH but he could have done it next week if he had to!

2B0B I have been certain right from the start that I haven't been producing enough milk to cope with DS... The way to increase it is to express more - it does work and also the old saying that if you're tired you don't produce as much really does work - seems as if it's drying a little in the evenings as that's when more likely to be tired.

I tried expressing as much as I could from the side he hadn't fed from during the day and keeping that for the night feeds so I could express from both sides at night. It's gradually got better but I still only express out around 70ml at a time - compared with a lot of women that's not a huge amount I am finding out.

Also expressing in between feeds from one side can also help increase production.

If all else fails, then fennel tea helped me as well! just drink loads more than it says to - I kept a pot on the go all day and drank it instead of water and normal tea for a few weeks - really did help and is also very refreshing!

good luck!

compo hopeyou are feeling better with the mastitis lol

Hi everyone,

I wondered if anyone else had had this but midwife came yesterday and said my uterus still felt high and hadn't contracted as much as it should for 10 days post birth. She said there might be an infection but my loss is now very slight so I thought things would be better down there. Also I woke up twice last night in a real sweat, has anyone else had this? I'm worried it might be a sign of the infection..

Hi everyone - I've made it to the otherside!

Myrtle1 - i'm not sure about the uterus but I know that it is common to sweat after the birth as your body is getting rid of excess fluid gained during pregnancy. I have had a few nights where i have woken up sweating too. Hope this helps. If you do have an infection at least yr midwife can treat it and is aware of it.

Hey Compo,

I had mastitis with DD & found that feeding from that side eased it as did hot flannels & massaging the breast whislt she was feeding. After a couple of days it was better but then I had to get some antibios as it flared up again. However, they worked a treat & the feeding got more established & it was fine in the end. I'd say stick with it, the bubba is only a couple of weeks old & BF needs at least 3-4 weeks to become established etc...if you get fed up then you have to do what makes you happy because as you say no point in being miserable...My nipples are still bloody sore but the pain is easing so I'm bearing it at the moment but yes there are moments when I want to scream & shout at DH get in the formula as I've had it..

2B0B, have you tried expressing at different times? When I expressed with DD, it had to be mornings as my boobs were really full then...I was often depressed trying to express in the evenings as a) nothing come out or b) just 1oz...out of interest which pump did you buy??

BTW, gorgeous pictures Pol, Myrtle & Puppy..

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't posted but the situation with DS has been quite bad and as a result, I seem to spend all day crying.

He wont go to bed;at all! Last night 3hours of screaming tantrums then fell asleep through sheer exhaustion. He hasn't napped since Lizzie was born and he screams and tugs at her when I try to BF her. Today he hit her.
He also wont eat for me and spends most of the day crying, mostly as he's had so little sleep. I know he isnt ready to drop the nap as he's only 21mths and he's shattered by 5pm.

I just don't know what to do. DH is due to go back to work on Wed and I'm dreading it. Both our mothers work full time, long hours so we've had no help. Also we dont have any friends with LOs.

The absolute worse thing for me is that my darling son has refused to kiss or cuddle me since 2 days after Elizabeth was born. It's like I've betrayed him and he can't forgive me. I feel so down, so guilty. Sorry to rant.

Homemama I am so, so sorry to hear that; sounds very overwhelming. Helped our DS1 to be plied with small toys the first few days, but then don't know what a 21-month-old might understand vs. a three-year-old; we told DS1 the toys were gifts from his baby brother to him. You might try a small gift, from baby sister to him? As long as he understands she's the reason he's getting it. Don't depair; my sister went through this with her DS and it went away when DS realized he couldn't just make the baby disappear. Complicated matters that her DD was colicky. From 3-4 months, her DS has loved DD and all smooth. Which is good; they're getting another sibling in Dec.

Wow 2B2B ... that was my problem too with DS1, so started pumping and then by 3 mos we were FF exclusively. Don't feel useless and pathetic - you can't really help what's going on there (especially being tired!), and I think it's perfectly normal. Too bad the 1st 3 months of BF are so difficult b/c have heard it gets so much easier after that, but some (like me) just give up before it does. By 6 months my sister didn't want to ever quit; finally did when DS1's cousin was 1.5 years.

Thanks Marls. He's has gifts from DD to him right from the start. We also had little things lined up for when people bought gifts for Lizzie. He's opened all her cards that have come through the post and he chooses which nappy she will wear etc so I've tried to involve him.

I think the problem is his age. A little younger and it would pass him by. A little older and he could reason it a little more.

Not only am I worried about my relationship with him, I'm worried about my relationship with DD as I don't feel like I've bonded with her as well as I should have because I'm so anxious and teary all the time. I didn't suffer with PND last time but I can already feel it gripping me.

Forgive me anyone whom I've not congratulated yet as my head is so fuzzy at the moment. Glad to hear of so many safe arrivals.

Homemama, it sounds as like your DS really doesn't understand what's happening. poor little guy. Our 23 month old is definitely 'playing up' but not half as badly as yours and it's more attention seeking with him, he's actually quite besotted with the baby and comes to tell us when he's crying, wants to stroke him etc. I don't know what to suggest except there's a good website I found here - there's a section on that page about new siblings. I've got the book and have found it quite helpful. Just a few thoughts, don't know if they'll help, could DH take the baby out or at least into a different room for an hour each day so you can have some one to one time with DS? If he's refusing to nap could you encourage him to have 'quiet time' instead (my DS loves thomas the tank books at mo) or would he sleep if you took them both out in pram/car? - really hope the situation improves. If you feel really bad about it do tell your HV - when I was struggling last year mine put me in touch with homestart and now a lovely lady comes once every 2 weeks to help me out with DS, usually she plays with him while I study but now my course has finished she's still coming to give me time with DS while we're settling in with the nes one.

Going to make some of you sick now and would've been myself given my increased weight after DS1 but today I thought I'd brave the scales and do the 'jeans test' (see howmany inches needed to lose before they fit again) and - I now weigh less than I did before pg (by 1lb!) and my jeans fit already!

Myrtle - I'm having loads of hot flushes and sweats and did after DS1 so assume that bit's normal. Don't worry about an infection, as long as it's known about and treated it's ok - good of your midwife to be cautious.

Thanks LC and congatulations on your DS2!

I've been expressing so I can take DS out and leave DD with DH. DH has also taken him out to spoil him a little. I read as much as I could about this beforehand and I thought we were armed with all the good ideas (pressies, getting him involved, time with mummy etc) Just feel like I've let him down.

Yes, I know I need to pull myself together or I'll be no good to either or them. Thanks for the link, LC.

Homemama, again I am so sorry as that is exactly how I was with DS1. I never bonded with him until he was 3-4 months, and that's the main reason we took all these precautions (mom help; prescription ready; etc.) because it's such a HORRIBLE place to be. I agree it's your DS's age, and please know that part will definitely get better. As for DD, since they don't do so very much at this age it has still been hard for me to bond with DS2. You may want to try to go in for an appointment and see what can be done if you can possibly get away, since it's no fun at all to feel like that.

Liquid ... ! (But also for you.) Going to Nordstrom's in Houston next Tues. & investing in some Spanx. Bummer I'll be in one of the best shopping cities in US next week & not able to yet buy clothes ... [disappointed icon]

i bought the medela swing electric one.

Homemama - what you are decribing with your DS is almost exactly what we have been through with DS3 ( aged 23 months ) since the birth of K. Lots and lots of screaming and refusing to sleep and rejecting me. If it helps K is 9 weeks old now and he is back to normal, it has just gradually got better. I think for us the key was to try and keep to his normal routine as much as possible and to take advantage of the fact that newborns ( should ) sleep a lot and give him loads of attention. Plus ask for help from anyone. If family not avaliable friends instead. People usually keen to help out if there is a new baby, tell them what you need doing.

Myrtle - night sweats on their own usually due to hormone changes but if you have a uterus that is still high as well then its possible you have an infection.

so sorry to hear you're going through all that Homemama I think the others are right and it's just a phase - hopefully it will pass soon. Dd unsettled in the night and this morning - feeding loads and not sleeping as much so maybe it's a growth spurt?!!

Homemama- sorry to hear how you're feeling and how DS is too. I'm lucky as DD has been angelical really (in terms of a just 2yr old) She had presents from DS though and bits but obviously they really want mum! I had always made a point to visitors that DS will no no other way of life but DD obviously knows life before DS, luckily though in the future we'll have children who are close and they won't remember these hard times... doesn't help now though I know. I had a period of crying and saying to DP that I had made an awful mistake and that I felt sad for DD and how would we cope, but some how we do. I hope your DH is being supportive and trying to take your DD so you can have time with your DS and try and reconcile the feelings he has. I think little boys have it harder as they tend to be less independant and need their mummies more. Good luck with it all and i'm thinking of you.

Here, we had a bad night last night... DS was awake every half an hour!!! Thought after lying in his moses basket for over an hour til he dropped off would've knocked him out but no... he was so unsettled and sent me into a flood of tears at four o'clock when I was up with him for the millionth time whild DP happily snored away oblivious to it all... can men actually sleep through it all or do they just pretend to???
We had to get out this morning or Im would've just mopped around in pj's etc... as feeling so tired. Now DD's in bed but DS still unsettled and grunting about in his chair and needing patting every so often to settle him back down- would love nothing more than just falling asleep until DD wakes but have no chance!!!
Growled at DP and told him to come home straight after work with no hanging about as I need a rest from the pair of them. They are little monkeys- i'm sure they know the exact time to start crying ... when I need a wee and then I have to be accompanied by a toddler Forgot how weeing on my own is such a luxury!
Have made a rhubarb crumble to cheer me up...

Guess what too, i'm in pre-pregnancy jeans which are toooooooo big!!! I have lost 11lbs... must be all this running around I do and eating next to nothing as I have one or another thing to do, at least being run ragged has some benefits... still in no hope of looking as slender as Kate Moss anytime soon And wish things would at least stop being quiet so flobby...

Homemamma- forgot to say DD did stop her afternoon naps too for a while which I was more upset about as I wanted to put my feet up... She has gone back to them now though. For the week she had no sleep in the afternoon I laid on the sofa with her and her blankets and she nodded off thinking I had too (I quiet happily could of!) and I think she was alittle miffed that DS was still down here and she was being put to bed. All settled back to normal now (DS will be 4 weeks on Thurs) ... good luck

Have had the day from hell here - dd hardly slept all day and fed on and off all day. Does anyone know if 2 and a half weeks could be a growth spurt?!! Feel like I'm doing it all wrong today Hope everyone else is faring better!!

Having a bad day here too!
Feeling that i'm really going to loose the plot with DP, even when I say that he needs to help more he doesn't. Told him how tired and worn out i'm feeling but he just says you go to work for me then ! What does he think looking after a 2yr old DD and a newborn is????? Just because I might make it look easy at times, it isn't and i'm well and truly knackered and now loosing it.
the finally straw is that he knows I was up all night with DS- every half an hour and DP comes in from work and lets me feed DD, feed DS and get them both ready for bed... I do the bottles and sterilise both dummies he has managed to roll around the floor. He is in the mean time falling asleep in the chair!!! AGAIN! He was the one who had sleep last night. He said he wanted to hoover upstairs, I said no, I would actually like to sit down while he watches the pair of them. Not a chance... he went to sleep. I said when he was awake, that so much for my rest, he said he was only dozing. I replied, yes but if I had fallen asleep and he had been 'dozing' and DD had dropped something on DS or hurt him, whos fault would it have been- mine? DD's? I know if it had of happened DD would've been blamed- yet she is only 2!!!
So I told him to feed DS while DD went up and only came down to him watching tv and hadn't noticed the teat had come out of his mouth and DS wasn't actually getting anything- just frantic for it.
Now DS is unsettled again... not sure now where wind/colic ends and craftiness begins... if that makes sense??? So up and down to DS and having to have him on me rocking/swaying/patting while DP just relaxes back...!