JULY 2014 - WE HAVE BABIES

[justhayley]

Well it's only mid June but I hear we have our first July 2014 baby - congratulations MrsC, also hear there is one going to be joining us very very soon so thought it was time to start a postnatal thread! Wow can you believe it's that time already!!!

I hope to be joining you on this thread in the next few weeks - have no desire to get to 40 /42 weeks in this heat thank you.

For now congratulations new mummies xxx

snow

I'm so sorry to hear

try this
step 1 - imagine your best friend or sister or daughter just admitted "i should have stopped but i carry on even though it makes me miserable"
what would you say to them?

step 2 - look in the mirror and repeat what you just said here. watch yourself react to being totally honest with yourself then decide whether it's worth carrying on or time to hang up the pump, if not today then soon.

at the risk of upsetting you I'll say this: please consider that bf is not a competition. not with others, not within yourself.
I only explained the different lengths I bf each DC and the reasons I stopped because they are the facts. but I don't think that feeding DD for 12 months was a triumph and feeding DS4 for 12 weeks was a failure!

I was surprised as anyone that I carried on for so long with her and I admit I did feel proud that we managed beyond 6 months - but I think I was more determined to carry on for longer precisely because she struggled the most in the beginning.

I mean I had to bf her every 2 hours at 4months as she had to be treated as a newborn, practically. so when she was 6 months old I saw her as being much younger, if that makes sense. it felt like she'd just got the hang of it so it would be a shame to stop just yet.

but with DS4 I had a C-section, hell of a first 6 weeks, middle of loft conversion and 3 children with 3 schoolruns to 2 different places. I said from the beginning that I will bf as long as there's another adult in the house 24/7.
he was born on 14 Dec so DH stayed home for 3 weeks (2 weeks pat &1 week annual leave) then my mum came snd stayed for 6 weeks to help.when she left DH stayed home for 1 week (half-term) and actually I carried on for 2 more weeks just bf in the morning & evening before I finally stopped. I had to. And it was the right decision. I delayed stopping 2 weeks beyond my initial plan and I felt that considering all circumstances I did very well indeed!

so please listen to yourself and think about whether you would stop today if you could truly, freely decide what you want without any guilt or fear or sadness or anger or resentment.

I'm sending you big hugs and lots of love

oops. sorry for essay. typical me, not a peep for day or weeks then I write a book!

Best thing I did for my mental health was to stop BFing. Honestly.

Figure out what is right for you and be honest about it. Keep BFing as long as it's right for you and when it isn't anymore, stop.

Feel no guilt or shame if you choose to stop but don't second-guess yourself constantly either. If you are, it suggests to me that you're not doing what is right for you.

Zing had many good points, as usual. My additional caveat would be that if you physically can't BF anymore, be kind to yourself.

evening ladies :)

DS is long and lean and has dropped a bit on the centile thing which is ok but gp said she wouldn't want him to drop anymore and given that he should still feed during the night. I'm not going to force him though as surely if he really needed more feeding he would want more?

Zing I BF at least every 3 hours during the day, followed by a bottle most times so he gets 5 x 100ml bottles per day (mostly formula but a bit of expressed milk). I'm supposed to be expressing after each feed as well but it's nigh on impossible, I usually only manage a couple of times a day.

Snow - i have 3 tablets of domperidone a day (I think they are 10mg?) although in practice I usually forget one. They don't make me feel sick (in fact aren't they normally prescribed as an anti-nausea drug?). Can't say I feel it's made much difference (although might help if I was consistently taking the prescribed dose!).

My goal at the moment is to keep going for 3 months and I'll evaluate how I 'm feeling then. As well as the time and heartache I've also spent quite a bit of money (lactation consultant, TT OP, breast pumps etc) so I feel like I have to get some return on the investment. I've probably spent more on BFing than I would on a year's supply of formula and I thought BFing was supposed to be free!

Hello all so sorry for absence great to see the thread so busy. I've had to give up on breastfeeding mainly during the day as at 8 weeks ds just started screaming every time we tried. He has breastfeed eve, night and morning then formula through the day. It works for us and I refuse to feel guilty as is ds who stopped the breastfeeding not me!!!

Anyone elses baby like to wake every hour in the night? sleeps 7-2 but then after feed farts and wakes himself up every hour until 6 when wide awake!!! Not the first time. ..

I'm struggling today - ds wouldn't take my boob this morning so now I'm worried what's wrong :(

I am emotionally and mentally exhausted

Auntie is there anyone who could come and help for the day so you can rest? Am sure frazzled nerves do not help with the boob feeding.

I am also sure that if something was wrong with DS you would know it so please do take care.

I had my worst night trying to get DD down last night. She ended up starfished in my bed and I was awake all night worrying about suffocating her. She did a mega poo this morning so I think she was a bit uncomfortable. She is downstairs with the GPs watching a musical on tv (she loves 'em) as I really need to work today but I am so tired already depsite a lie in.

snow

I hope I didn't upset you with the "it's not a competition" comment.
I know you know that. but others do make it out to be and it's hard to ignore that when you are struggling.
that's all I meant.
I understand the reason why you are pumping and well done.
are you using an electric pump? I'm not very successful with the manual one, stresses me out.

Auntie
sorry to hear you are struggling too.

again you probably know this, but some babies who have difficulty feeding will swallow a lot of air and will need more burping (both in frequency and length!)

Elijah does this annoying thing when he is fussing, crying, chewing on his hands but when I put him to the breast he does 2 quick sucks tgen comes off and starts fussing again.
my others did it too. very stressful.
I'd end up pausing with the bf and pick them up and most of the time they'd burp & immediately calm down!
so I started observing this and would pause, wind baby until they burp (tapping back for up to 20mins!) then resume bf which then would go smoothly.
Every Single Time burping worked!

so needing to burp maybe contributing factor for not wanting to feed? I hope you get him to feed soon

bf can be a nightmare. big hugs to all.

He's in a right pickle today - he had a 2 hour nap then fed ok - an hour later is grumpy again so I try to feed him he latches on but doesn't even try to suck and starts screaming. I tried the other side, changed him, etc and nothing g worked so I've wrapped him tightly on a blanket and stuck a dummy in and he's gone asleep again! I have no idea why he's so tired.

Thanks zing - he's different when he's got wind and at least tries to feed normally but it's worth a shot

zing what method do you use to burp -ds normally burps quite easy

I feel like such a lousy parent sometimes - have spent most of afternoon curled up on sofa asleep with DS on top of me. Can't exactly remember when he last fed, definitely over three hours ago.

I keep thinking that I'll try putting DS down to sleep, try to get him into a routine. Then I just ignore it all.

Plate if he's happy on top of you, what does it matter how long it's been / routine is disrupted?

We are all too hard on ourselves!

Plate don't worry about a routine and what time you last fed your DS. Does he let you know if he is hungry?

Auntie how did your afternoon go? I have some days with DD where I know she is tired but she won't go into a deep sleep and I end up holding or feeding her all day. And then the next day is easy and I've no idea why.

With BFing I have been really surprised at how different (in a good way) it has been with DD compared to DS. It goes to show how much it can depend on what baby is like rather than you. Honestly, if I hadn't had the struggle with DS I would find it hard to relate to how difficult it can be and the angst. DD has had a beautiful latch from day one. She had a big weight loss and was slow to gain again, but fortunately the various medical professionals focused on how well she looked, wet nappies, observing feeds and held their nerve and didn't go down the formula top-up routes.

However, if this all sound too good to be true, it is and my BFing battle will begin next month when DD starts at the childminder and I go back to work. I have this fantasy that I will express all the feeds DD needs, which is quite clearly not going to happen, but I am in denial. And it is really stupid that I am being funny about giving formula when I was only planning to BF for a week at most originally. I wish I could find more time to express, but I only manage once a day at most. Normally DH feeds that as a bottle in the evening so she is used to the bottle, which means I'm not building up a stash in the freezer.

I'm hoping for a good night tonight. DS is ill and had me up last night. I ended up sleeping in his bed with him until DH came in at 6am to tell me that DD needed feeding. It wasn't an easy day today because I had DS off school today. There might have been rather a lot of CBeebies today!

snow ds is like that and barely keeps still in his sleep either! Makes it feel like my baby is growing up too fast!

have your babies had their jabs yet?
you know that might be the reason they act oddly - delayed effects of the vaccines typically around 3-5 days and again 10-12 after they had it will give them a bit of trouble.

a shot of calpol might help if they appear to be in pain

Auntie
I hold baby upright if standing up or sit him on lap if sitting and tap his back with each tap going higher up starting from middle till I reach shoulders IYSWIM. like a lift going up.
then start at middle of his back going up again. only ever in upward motion, never down.
I don't see that rubbing of back has any effect (MIL does that, which makes me irrationally angry, no idea why!).

Elijah burps straight away, it's more like a beer belching thing! but it never all comes out and after 20 mins or an hour he might start fussing or crying and needs more burping.
In fact it's such a "default" thing now, I actually tap-tap-tap his back pretty much every time I pick him up, even if he hadn't been crying. I do it regardless and sometimes he burps when you'd think he wouldn't need to.

hth

Plate

routine? pfft. take it with a pinch of salt.

you had a lovely nap. he was fed a bit later than you planned - no big deal.

don't get me wrong, routines are great and needed, but an extra long nap will not rock your boat.
and if it does and you find your baby desires a tighter schedule you'll act accordingly.

remember, be guilt free! guilt wastes energy and stops you from focusing on things that actually matter.

Thanks zing :)

ds had his second lot of jabs 12 days ago and he was perfectly well behaved for dp this weekend

well, it could have been it Auntie, let's hope he's ok today!

Auntie how is your DS with his cold? And how is your DP doing?

Zing I had a slightly more complicated abdominal surgery than gallbladder removal (but still keyhole) and it was a really easy recovery. If you can ask for it though, ask for stitches. Not every doctor stitches keyhole incisions automatically and on the abdomen they don't tend to stick together so well.

Hi all, I went awol from this thread, but I have been keeping up with the Facebook group.

Hope everyone is doing ok.DS is doing great, he's feeding really well, and is generally fairly good, though he has taken to thrashing around in his sleep - he lifts his legs as high as he can then slams them back down, so hard his crib shakes. Anyone else's dc doing this? He also still seems to prefer sleeping on me than anywhere else.

Right, while ds is on a feeding/napping on me marathon I'm off to catch up with the thread!