JULY 2014 - WE HAVE BABIES

[justhayley]

Well it's only mid June but I hear we have our first July 2014 baby - congratulations MrsC, also hear there is one going to be joining us very very soon so thought it was time to start a postnatal thread! Wow can you believe it's that time already!!!

I hope to be joining you on this thread in the next few weeks - have no desire to get to 40 /42 weeks in this heat thank you.

For now congratulations new mummies xxx

ismarah thank you for asking.

ds is better thanks but left with a cough which I seem more bothered by than him. Though I've spent another morning crying because I've been trying to get him to nap in his crib but every time I put him down he wakes up and cries and won't go back to sleep. This is the same crib he sleeps in every night including 7 hours last night (first time ever!) and a 40 minute nap yesterday but I just can't seem to get him to sleep in it during the day or anywhere but on me! I really need to start being able to put him down now because it's really starting to get to me.

DP is ok but still struggling most days and our relationship is suffering from everything. He said a few things last night about the way he thinks I am and treat him that I think are a bit unfair but I know I'm more short tempered and less tolerant. Especially when he says things like "he sleeps well when I put him to bed" or "he's happy when I do that" because it makes me feel shit about how I'm doing and I don't think he really realises how hard it is to do this every single day. He said he feels like he has two full time Jobs cos of what he had to do at home at the moment which I understand and want to do more but find it hard to be too sympathetic when he gets to eat/shower/poo/etc on his terms. We've both got counselling coming up so fingers crossed.

I also think I started my period this morning so I'm really annoyed.

becky ds does that too- it's bloody annoying but cute at the same time

How many times are you supposed to try putting them down before giving up anyway? I've given up because he's now so tired because he hasn't had a proper nap that he's in a state so I've let him stay asleep on me

Auntie sorry to hear your having a hard time. Ds tends to only want to sleep on me during the day. I can sometimes get him to sleep in his rocker chair, but only after he's slept on me for at least half an hour. I'm struggling to get things done too, especially as he requires constant amusement while awake. I'm hoping this gets better when his grabbing improves and he can play a bit - it's very hit and miss at the moment.

DH and I are really in need of some time with each other too, but I can't get ds to sleep before 10:00.

Plate I would love to get into some sort of routine too, but have no idea how do go about doing this, so far I've just fed him when he's hungry, and tried to get him to sleep when he's tired.

Zing I hope you're feeling better!

Auntie that sounds really tough. It is quite challenging when you can't put baby down all day. DD regularly has days like that. I just let her sleep on me and try an enjoy doing nothing and blocking out what I would like to be doing. I have learned that when I'm frustrated with this and having a moan to make it clear that I just want to vent my frustration and it is not a complaint that DH isn't doing something or being annoyed with the baby. Do not feel shit about how you do things because your DP has more success. You are doing a great job looking after your DS everyday. It is challenging. And yes, for your DP it can feel like having another job, but supporting you and spending time with your DS when he gets home from work is all part of being a parent. Equally you could try and say some positive things to your DP to show you are grateful for his help when he gets home and to try and prevent only having negative conversations. Let him know how you feel. It's so hard. Hugs.

For daytime sleep I find this a life saver as it imitates the motion of a car so DS sleeps really well in it. I usually have to feed him/ hold him while he falls asleep but it tends to stop him waking up two minutes later.
I'm looking forward to him being old enough for a door bouncer as ds1 loved his.

Do any other bfing mums find there are certain foods they need to avoid as they give the baby gas? Broccoli, cauliflower and I think swede are all on my list.

Casmama

Someone advised me that artificial sweeteners should be avoided when bfing, they can make baby gassy.
they are bad news in general so cut them down or out altogether.
I don't even buy sugar free kids' medicine if I can avoid them. I'd rather they had a bit of sugar than substances that have been classified as toxins therefore banned in many countries (such as Aspartame)

I hate cauliflower but eat broccoli, pulses and garlic regularly - I don't find baby is more windy and never understood why they would be.
I guess because some compounds travel beyond the digestive tract - like allicin in garlic gets excreted through skin - and of course medicines, alcohol etc will be present in breastmilk is not illogical that breastmilk might be affected by foods & drinks consumed.
but I think you'd have to consume a huge amount of those vegetables daily to affect baby. and remember you probably ate those things while pg, so they are not completely new to baby's system!

Not burping enough on the other hand will give baby stomach cramps/pains and make them gassy.
So unless you are absolutely sure certain foods affect him/her I think it's probably best to make sure baby gets burped properly! What do you think?

Ismarah

thanks. I had a pre-op assessment today and it went well. I feel better about the whole thing. I'm organising people to help with food and schoolruns while I'm recovering and my mum is coming for a month to help out.

Auntie
if baby falls asleep on you why don't you lie in your bed then you can gently roll him onto the bed and let him sleep there? he'll be fine!

Thank you for all the advice :)

becky our ds's sound very similar!

casamama my osteopath suggested not eating pasta, bananas, broccoli, leeks or fizzy drinks - with the food it was something to do with their carbs. I definitely noticed when I gave up fizzy drinks including sparkling water and when I had Chinese.

Would have agreed zing but DS is normally a great sleeper and was awake for hours two nights in a row after eating a casserole which actually had leeks in it too Auntie Maggie. Definitely worth thorough burping though
Interesting what you say about artificial sweeteners - it's a bit tricky as I'm doing slimming world at the moment so probably eating quite a lot of them but will definitely keep an eye on it.

Thanks for that list Auntie Maggie - I would really struggle to give up pasta and sparkling water- can probably live without broccoli though

Casmama

veteran Weight Watcher here!

there's a very nice sugar alternative called Sweet Freedom which is suitable for diabetics.
they do a Choc Shot chocolate syrup (great for hot chocolate and drizzle on porridge!).

I love diet Pepsi and practically lived on it when pg with DS2 and I just wish I could undo that.
(he is a sugar monster, we have a lot of problems with his behaviour and I'm convinced there's a connection)

Please read about the long term adverse side effects of Aspartame and Acesulfame-k, it will be an eye opener. I'm not a health fanatic and don't do scaremongering generally, but these two are the work of the devil.
Sorry, I had to say that.

Auntie
how's your day been?

Thanks Zing, will have a look.

It's been ok thank you zing :) I didn’t even try to put ds down for naps today as we were going out this afternoon and didn't need the stress. I wouldn't mind do much but I can't put him down for long when he's awake either. He did sleep for approx 6.5 hours last night though - second night running he's gone over 6 hours when he usually goes for 4 hours before his first feed. He was reluctant to go back to sleep again though.

How are you? are you still suffering with your gallbladder?

I have been pain free since I was discharged from hospital on the 1st Sept.
Op date is set for 27th this month so not long now. could have gone for 14th, but next weekend sees the 6th "anniversary" of loosing our first little girl (MC) and I just couldn't face it being freshly post-op. I find that remembering her, the short time she spent in my tummy and that she was too ill to make it is emotionally, mentally and physically draining, but unavoidable. I will always miss her

As it is, my first week of recovery will be half term week so at least we don't have to worry about school runs. My mum is coming for a month as I'm not supposed to lift anything for weeks, not even BabyZing for the first week!
But I've organised help as a lot of friends offered plus PILs will be doing a huge share of child care/helping out.
it will be fine [brave face]

glad you've been pain free but sorry about your little girl :(

I had keyhole surgery a few years ago which was a longer op than gallbladder surgery - you'll be ok but you will be sore so it's good you've got help the first week. Advice from me is keep on top of your painkillers - don't wait for them to wear off before taking more especially anti inflammatory as they help the healing process and there's evidence to suggest being in pain slows it down, make sure they give you strong enough pain killers to go home with, and drink plenty to prevent constipation... so similar advice to childbirth really :) I don't know how long you'll be in but again similar advice for what to pack - squash to liven up water, straws, snacks, flip flops for shower, pjs, dressing gown, towel etc.

I know you will want to get home to your dc but don't rush home until you are ready to go - better they make sure everything is ok before you go home than you having to go back in if it's not.

oh and you can start moisturising the scars after a few days I think.

Thanks Auntie

I will stay in for one night max so won't bother with a shower there, in fact I was advised not to get wounds wet (no bath or swimming for a while - not sure how long "a while" is) so I will need to check how soon I will be allowed to shower.

I will definitely keep on top of pain killers coz I is a wuss, innit?
I presume pain levels will be similar to after C-section pain and not letting effect of painkillers wear off equally important.
I'm preparing soups for freezer so I don't have to worry about cooking for myself plus they are easy to digest. I feel organised.

In other news we had a builder over this morning to talk through basic plans for our house extension - for the first time I'm actually excited about this project.
He explained which walls can be taken out and we discussed lots of details so now DH and I see our previous ideas in a different light and can properly start planning what we want.
really pleased with this guy, you know when you just click with people and there's s good vibe (hate that phrase but it's true) it gives you confidence things will work out.

Happy Friday everyone!
And I can't believe Baby Zing is 12 weeks old today!

Yay to baby zing ds is 15 weeks today - can't believe how quick it's gone! I feel like I've sleep walked through the summer.

I showered in hospital on day 3 or 4 I think so it's not long without a shower.

Amazing to be so positive zing I hope exciting extension plans make all the op stuff more bearable- glad you have so much support prepared for post op. (Am jealous as our extension is years away )

auntie ds is similar struggle to put him down for long but slowly am seeing some improvement and hes much better in pushchair now 3 months tomorrow! So nice to have more smiles and come at right time with my back struggling from so much sling use!

Our babies are getting far too grown up.

Took DD2 to the admission ceremony to solicitor for my husband this morning. I was worried because she's been a bit grouchy the past few days. But she slept through the whole thing in her/my Moby so it was brilliant. We then went out for lunch and I did a wee spot of shopping so I'm exhausted now! I guess I won't get my energy back till she sleeps better.

Having a strange feeding issue at the moment. I have a fast let down and now DD throws a strop as soon as milk squirts into her mouth and she then just cries and cries, refusing to feed. Have no idea how to fix that!

Oh yes. I still have to change breast pads a couple of times a day, my breasts get very full, and DD's nappies show signs of oversupply. I have mostly managed to reduce supply but it's the let down that's causing issues now.

Will look into block feeding, thanks.

Ah. I've been doing that for a few weeks because of the oversupply issues. Didn't realise it would help with let down too.

I am taking her off the breast when let down happens bit she then gets grumpy with me again and refuses to feed. Suspect she has inherited my grouchiness.

Might contact LLL to see what they think. She's still eating enough eventually, it's just making it an unpleasant and difficult experience for both of us.

Sorry you're having difficulties as well grouchy. I wish the breastfeeding bods hadn't gone on so much about how natural, easy and generally wonderful BFing is. I wish they'd told us it can be really hard.

Struggling with thrush and cracked nipples now, which can be added to tongue tie, mastitis and undersupply in the long list of 'stuff that's gone wrong with BFing'.

I've given hope that we'll ever be able to BF exclusively, now it's just a case of how long I can keep supplementing formula with some BFing.

DS has been seen by a paediatrician after being classed as 'failure to thrive' - but he's now gaining weight a bit better due to the formula so he wasn't too worried. Fortunately we got a private appointment as DH gets family healthcare through his work - we were seen within 2 days. Just got the NHS appointment through (itself 2 weeks after the GP referred us) - appointment is on 1st December!! If DS really had a problem he could have been dead by then - madness!

And has anyone got any tips on keeping nightfeed wakings short? We seem to be minimum 2 hrs from wake to back asleep.

Sorry for all the breastfeeding woes :(. We've been doing okay so far although I also seem to have a fast letdown and poor DD2 pulls off coughing and spluttering sometimes. I try to lean back when it happens in the hope it'll help.

plate hmmm do you keep the lights as low as possible - we switched the bulb in my bedside lamp to a very low wattage. Glad he's gaining weight better now - ridiculous how long you would've had to wait on NHS.

And you're so right about wishing "they" would tell the truth about breastfeeding. The worst line is "if you're doing it right it shouldn't hurt". That made me feel awful the first time around as it did bloody hurt!

zing glad you have an op date and you have help lined up.