getting how are you and H today?
Oh no enormouse! That does sound crap for you, I too am putting off much needed dental work. Oops. I wouldn't worry too much about Cal though, he sounds from your posts like quite a happy chappie. I know N didn't even notice his jabs the first time round because his Dad was playing with him. Second lot on Monday! I think we need to be there for us more than for them.
I am also chuckling to myself imagining your FIL's special brand of reassurance. Sounds not too far removed from my Welsh relatives' reaction when we suggest going somewhere new or eating any dish that doesn't include pork or chips. 
Merry you are amazing. It sounds like you and DH have both been having a hard time and he is lucky to have such a strong partner.
Looking at routines it is clear that I am failing parenting 101. I think I should perhaps buy some parenting books after all...maybe MIL was right!
I can't get DD to bed much before 9.30 and even then it takes at least an hour before she goes to sleep. Sometimes it takes until midnight. I also can't bath N when she is around because she either helps or tries to get into the bath on top of him. 
So he usually has his bath early afternoon. N therefore either conks out by himself in his chair after a feed when I am still dealing with DD or has a final feed around 10.30 -11 before being put down in his cot. Roll on egypt and DD having her own room!
Any advice about how to deal with aggressive DHs? He isn't aggressive with me, but he has such a short fuse with DD and I don't think he appreciates that 3 really is still very young. Unless she does what he says immediately he shouts, calls her names and often tries to smack her too. 
. I have tried acknowledging that this is because he feels so stressed atm and because DD doesn't sleep he never has a minute without young children, which he appreciated but hasn't stopped him losing his cool. I also tried explaining the emotional impact on DD, who can already be quite anxious and how it is affecting her confidence. I also told him calmly how unacceptable it is and that unless it changes he can find somewhere else to live when we get back to Egypt which sent him off the deep end. I tried telling him not so calmly the same thing, and added that I would get his parents involved. In Egypt this is a normal way to act towards your child, so there aren't many options for escalation.
DD is also wetting herself again, which is an ongoing saga. She always does a tiny bit of pee in her pants before asking to go to the toilet. I don't get upset but I explain that it isn't good and she should say or go to the toilet before she is desperate but it doesn't help. The only thing that stops her doing this is taking her every two to three hours but she shouts and screams that she doesn't need the toilet and has to be carried kicking and screaming before doing loads of wee. She is pretty good about letting us know about poos. I suspect this is either a control issue or she just doesn't care. She very rarely has accidents at school, but this may be just because they take her to the toilet regularly. I am resigned to just doing a lot of washing but I want this to just become normal for her.
Sorry for the essay, I just am beginning to see what a mess our family life has become.