December 2012: Now they're all 1

[Barbeasty]

We needed a new thread!

I sobbed my eyes out in the bath earlier. It's just so awful.

We're going from Southampton...

And after apparently feeding me a load of bullshit again last night he's finally come out and said it. He doesn't feel a "spark" anymore. We just feel like friends and we always will be.

I did ask him how realistic he thought he was being in that friendship, love and fantastic sex wasn't enough for him (no sex since he left and came back I'm not that much of a massochist at least but at Least 3x per week before that). But he said he needed it to feel how it used to feel in the beginning. Well good luck with that then.

What pisses me off most is that I always end up comforting him as I know he's destined to go back to that house with his mum and the thought of it horrifies me. Also he made me go out with his mum yesterday so it didn't go too long and feel awkward in the future when we did stuff as a family

Oh well, onwards and upwards. Least I don't have to feel like shit any more waiting for the bomb to go off. Have cried my eyes out again but feel strangely calm now. Will try to sleep.

Willyou i am so sorry that he turned out to be a bellend. I have no words that will make it better for you Can you take some time off work and get some time alone to heal. Or go out get really drunk and forget everything for a night.

Ffs WillYou he's really pissing you about hope you managed a decent nights sleep. It'll be hard but I think you need to completely distance yourself apart from talking about J. What a nob. No relationship is going to always feel brand new he's never going to be happy.

I plan to do just that. I made him take as much as he could carry unlike last time. I will literally just see him for handovers for now. I'm travelling for work the next 2 weeks so he'll have to have J on those days.

I'll have to go and sort myself somewhere to live now!

Fuck him, he's obviously weak and chasing after an unrealistic ideal.

Poor Willyou, you don't deserve this!! After such a long time together you deserve more respect for a start!
The way things are at the beginning of a relationship are not sustainable long term..

I agree with others that you should distance yourself a bit- let him know he can't just walk all over you and your feelings! If he wants to bugger off let him go.

I intend to, I've grown my back bone back. I slept like a baby actually. Best sleep I've had in weeks. Had almost 7 hours, decided I'd cried enough.

In other news my washer (4 months old) was broken this morning and I fixed it by changing the fuse. I feel stupidly proud of myself!

wl i can do southampton

willyou as you say - fuck him. detach. refuse to communicate other than by email and regarding access. will piss him off mightily

I'm so sorry to hear what's happened willyou. At least you're not in limbo anymore & know where you stand so can start to make plans. Think he's going to realise in the future that this is one if the worst decisions he's ever made and will be one of his biggest regrets. Relationships after such a long time, post babies etc are never going to feel the same as an exciting brand new relationship but that's not to say they are any worse just different.

& more special in their own way

Exactly ddas, what I find attractive now is DP having fun with DS and the 2 of them laughing together, the fact that he cooked for me and forced me to eat every day when I had morning sickness, the way that after a 3 day labour when I was too tired to support myself he held me up in the shower and towelled me down. We've shared a third of our lives together and things change, but mostly I think it's for the better.

Bloody hell I've made myself sad. Must go back to thinking he's a twat!

Seemed to have slipped into lurkerdom again but coming out of it to say I'm so sorry Willyou. Sounds like you're being amazingly strong and I agree with everyone else that he's likely to regret it when he realises how unrealistic he's being. His loss in the end though, you deserve better

Oh dear willyou - loving hales use of the word bell end! As everyone has said its unrealistic to expect it to feel like it did in the beginning. You've got your head screwed on, he's being a twat. You're bo

Bound to have ups and downs but you're strong and capable and will be better off without the stress and uncertainty. Big hugs to you.

WillYou Stick by your decision and good luck. Definitely just communicate about J for now.
And well done with the fuse!! do you want to come and fix my treadmill

We had a first last night. A only woke up once. Yep, you read it right, he slept from 7.30 to 7 and only woke to feed at 23.45! It seems he felt DH didn't walk around the bed quickly enough to carry him back to his cot- he finished feeding and climbed out of bed!! ( I had checked that DH was between him and the door before letting him down!)

Maybe he can manage that again tonight, when the rest of us have a late night because of DD's dance show. Can't wait!

Hope I've not missed anyone, but I read the thread waiting for today's interview and am replying as I get the train home.

beasty hope the interview went well and that dds aces her dance show!

And super well done A!

Hi everyone, how are all the poorly babies?

I saw the gynae consultant yesterday and it was agreed I can have the sterilisation. I really had to fight for it! I fully understand it is a serious decision but I couldn't help feeling frustrated that no one seemed to appreciate the amount of thought I've put into it. I've spent almost £3000 on private therapy over 2.5 years to fully understand why I feel the way I do and to be sure it's right for me. But still the doctors just see an age bracket rather than (I believe) a sensible woman who knows her own mind.

F has started to clap and dance along to his plastic tat musical toy, he's gorgeous!

Glad they've listened to you coffee. How long will you have to wait?

Ds drives me mad at dinner time moaning constantly from the second I go into the kitchen until the food goes into his mouth

Great news coffee
spotty T is always difficult when I'm making dinner - crying round my feet and demanding to be picked up. I'm exhausted today from a late night and a 5.30 start. I'm just trying to wrestle T into bed so I can finish with dd1 them drink wine while I do jobs and eat before I collapse into my fresh sheets.

She's being a monster. After getting up so early she fell asleep in the car at 10.30 for about 45 mins. I forced a 30 min nap at 4.30 as I knew otherwise she'd never make it through tea, bath and bed but now she won't go to sleep. With that, her Velcro and dd2s constant meltdowns about nothing I've really rather had enough.

coffee that's such good news. Well done for holding firm and getting the result you wanted.

spotty my Mum was amazed at how much DS eats (and I'd describe him as slim/muscly) I have a theory that if I fed him all the pasta twists he could eat he would actually explode before he stopped :)

beasty fingers crossed that everything with DS's dance show goes well and that A gives you another good night!

willyou I'm so sorry. IMHO DP needs a bloody good smack, not that I think that would help him realise what a twat he is, nor would it give him the right to think he had a second chance with you. You sound really strong though. Keep raging a bit longer and get it out of your system in whatever way you need.

I think DS has his canines coming through :( it's making him a bit wheezy and he has a horrible cough. I hate it when he is poorly. I hope it passes soon. He is usually worst as the teeth are sort of moving. When they are arriving he just dribbles and moans a bit until they break through. I know it's silly but I really worry when he has this particular dry bellowing cough.

My Mum left this morning. It's nice to have our space back and we can also see how empty the flat is already. DH has made a trip almost daily with a car load of boxes to the new house. I sort of wish my mum could have stated longer and I'm sort of glad she has gone... But it was definitely good that she was here! :)

Oh no WL hope she's settled for you now. Ds went down fine but dd is a pain atm and the illegal nap today didn't help. Dd keeps saying she's not tired and running out of bed until she wakes ds up and I get so fed up I let her go into our bed.

Nutella that all sounds really stressful I bet you can't wait to be in your new place

spotty the big move is this weekend. We have lots of friends coming to help move the heavy stuff. I am rather frustrated but am lifting as little as possible. DH is quite excited about moving in and that's why he is making the trips over to the new house. I think it's good to get as much done in advance as possible because DS is not going to make moving any less stressful

wl hope she is down now. And gives you some peace. DS needs his naps. The only rule appears to be not letting him fall asleep after 4pm. Other than that they are flexible ish .... But his afternoon nap happens best at home.

Right, it's my bed time. Fingers crossed for very sleepy babies all round!