March 2013 time for shoes!

[Plonkysaurus]

New thread ladies...

Snort...

You guys. Seriously! I leave you alone for a day and this is what I come back to

Personally I was brought up to believe I had a bottom. Front and back. But that's a bit unoriginal so I am taking notes. As for boy parts, no clue. But not cock. Definitely not that.

I'm bowing out now as it's been a long old night, as she who rules the roost decided to make it a late one.... because she did the afternoon nap thing again. No nap = bed at 7.30pm. Nap = bed at 10pm. Dilemma. I mean, the naps are nice and all, but 3 hours of walking round the house carrying 2 tea towels? I tried to mix it up, with books and games and everything, but no, we had to walk with tea towels.

Oh and eco my sisters having a boy, therefore I am going to be an uncle. I believe this is how it works

Mmm chips. Seeing as it's the weekend I've let myself have a glass of primitivo,and we had a chippy tea for lunch. Delicious. Can't wait for next weekends treat! Glad your shoulder has improved somewhat, and yay for helpful husbands.

I'm all tucked up in bed so it's a date with Atonement then shut eye for me.

P.s something the song in Mary Poppins - feed the birds, tuppence a bag - had me in hysterics as a 5y.o.

Oh god - am snorting and trying to stifle it sitting next to DH, who thinks i've lost it.

DD has a front and back bottom also but sometimes it's 'don't touch your froo-froo' or 'leave your bits alone'. I'm trying a few out until I find one she likes (by her repeating it back to me - high hopes).

They're still gping to play with them no matter what we call 'em

I have already started to say don't play with willywoo ds when he sees his willy floating in the bath.

Someone slap me because i deserve it. I gave in and gave ds a bottle, (of milk). He is fast asleep now. After a rubbish night yesterday, i suspect from teething i couldnt face another disruptive night. Ooops. I know im not doing us any favours.

Yummy, I don't think any of us assumed it was going to be gin and night nurse sometimes you have to do what gets you through. And if he's growing he might be hungry - we had some shocking nights last week, very unusual for DS (sorry) and some if it was teeth, some this infection that hurt when he wee'd and some, it turned out eventually was because he was hungry. We felt like mean numpties that night.

So there's a movement which finds todger acceptable at this stage. I had worried that was a bit grown up. Agree, no cocks . Willy or winkle have all been used. Dh votes for penis but sometimes feels a bit formal. Same for girl bits, his vote is vulva, but...

Can't remember what I had as a girl. No tuppences or foofoos. May have to ask mum . Obviously didn't scar me though.

I like todger. Personally I think they can call their bits whatever terms they're comfortable using. As log as we explain the correct terms and function at some stage surely jobs a good un?

I'll never forget my friends little brother declaring, very loudly and with great pleasure, that when he holds his little Tilly it turns purple. The joys of private school buses.

Yummy he probably doesn't need milk in the night anymore. Could you swap it for water and see how he goes? Or completely cold turkey? I suspect your boy is waking out of habit rather than need, but my Ds has a bottle some nights around 4-5. If he wakes at that time and will not settle he gets milk and co sleeping. Dp hates it but we all grey more sleep than if I were to take a tougher approach.

Do you have a good HV you could call? Or perhaps eco's magical sleep guru?

We still have the odd middle of the night bottle. DD might not strictly speaking need it, but trying to sleep when you can feel that gnawing emptiness in your tummy is hard.

I always think todger sounds like an old man's penis. Penis is, agreed, a bit formal for everyday use. Cock is for use in sexual contexts only. Dick or knob for everyday use when talking to adults with whom one is familiar.

The thing I hate about the idea that children should use correct anatomical names is it forgets that we use different registers depending on our audience. For example, I say uterus to midwives, but womb to my mother. Bloomin' 'eck when small children are around, bloody hell when they're not, crikey in formal situations. I don't think we do our kids any favours by denying them a range of words and the knowledge of when each is appropriate. And the same goes for swearing.

You are all right. Ds doesnt need it and his night waking is out of habit. There has been random nights when he wont have a bottle but these are rare. I dont have the energy to be up all night trying to settle him. I think its a bit like starting a diet its always oh i will do it tomorrow.there are times ive delayed his feed by giving him a dummy but he wakes an hour later and won't go into a deep sleep until he has milk. Also his night feeds mean he wont have breakfast. Basically its all a mess and needs fixing. I spoke to dh about eco's sleep guru and he thinks its too pricey. If only dh heard ds wake up a night i would let him do the night wakings.

Feeling abit fed up. It must be pmt.

Don't be down on yourself Yummy. It's a tough habit to break. Does ds have a bedtime bottle? I've found that if his dinner is too big hell only drink an ounce or two at bedtime, which means 4am hunger. If I give him dinner at 4.30 he'll have 5-6oz at 7, and sleep until 6ish.

Not an exact science though and he does like to move the goalposts a lot. Maybe if dh had to get up in the night the sleep guru would suddenly seem very affordable?

And if DH doesn't wake up when DS does, perhaps you could accidentally "jostle" him in the balls with your foot every time you get up to deal with DS?

Ds will have his dinner at 5ish then have his bedtime bottle around 7. He will have around 7ozs. He will then wake between 2ish for another 7ozs. That has been our usual routine but for the past 3 nights this week. He had a 4/5am bottle as well. Last night dh gave him an 11pm bottle too. So last night we had 7, 11, 2 and 5am bottle. So we have gone 3 steps back unless its a growth spurt.

Another action plan is to up his milk intake during the day. He wont drink milk during the day but im thinking i should try strawberry milkshake instead.

Sorry to hijack the thread with my night waking woes but i cant remember the last time i had more than 4hrs sleep straight through.

Now lets talk about happy things. Any toddlers done anything funny lately?

stormy elbowing him in the ribs doesn't work so i have to aim lower. You made me .

By all means, hijack! We are here to listen to woes, after all.

How much milk does DS have in the day at the moment? If you're planning to try him on milkshake, please don't go for shop bought, it's horrifically sugary. If you've a blender you can make your own easily enough with just milk and fruit and it's a hell of a lot healthier.

I think you probably need to sit DH down and have a serious talk with him though. Am I right in thinking you've been doing pretty much all of the night wakings for a year now, while he's had a decent sleep just about every night? The thing a lot of men people don't seem to realise is that sleep matters.

I was talking to the man the other day about this, because I just can't sleep in company. I need space to move; I overheat when there's a furnace-person next to me; if I can hear someone snoring loud enough to wake the dead I can't fall asleep; even if I can hear someone breathing next to me my brain simply won't relax and switch off. So if we do manage to reconcile and cohabit in the future it's going to be separate bedrooms, and that's non-negotiable.

He doesn't like the idea, because he likes to snuggle and feel close to his partner, and feels rejected if said partner doesn't want to sleep next to him. I had to explain very clearly that his preferred method of sleeping means I don't sleep. Why, I asked him, does he think it's reasonable to expect me to never sleep again? It's a very clear example of prioritising his comfort over my needs. Without sleep I don't function well, I'm constantly grumpy, I'm a shit mother because I don't have the energy to give DD the attention she needs. Hopefully he understands now.

Anyway, the point of that ramble is you need to find a way to make DH understand that you need sleep just as much as he does, and the two of you need to be working together to ensure that you both get enough of it to function. If he's not willing to do so, you need to ask him why. Why doesn't he care enough about you to see that you're cracking up through lack of sleep and want to help you? Why does he think it's fair that of the available sleep, he gets it all and you get none? Does he think his need for sleep is more important than yours, and if so, why?

The way I put it to the man is this: I matter just as much as he does. My basic needs are just as important as his. Putting his own needs first to the detriment of mine ultimately suggests he views me as worth less than him. I'm not sure he liked it being put in such stark terms, but trying to be nice and consider his feelings wasn't getting us anywhere.

Gosh, I'd forgotten how long and rambling my posts get when I'm not on my phone!

Yummy we still have a night feed too because I'm weak and can't say no to please mummy eyes and now most nights it's her only waking and we co-sleep after. Not ideal but I can function on a 13hr shift after it so I'll just muddle along until she is a teenager doesn't want it anymore. I just can't be arsed with the battle.

Stormy we considered separate beds too because DH sleeps better on his own but we discovered the joy of a huge bed and separate duvets and all was well!

We're off to look around a show home, my preferred rainy Sunday activity. Today I think DH will be an investment banker and I'll be a SAHM. Last time I was barrister.

Whatever works, Betty. Point is, you found a solution together that works for you both!

Same problem here Stormy with the added joy that DH loves garlic whereas the slightest whiff of it makes me heave. For years I coped by sleeping on top of the duvet, wearing ear plugs, and facing away from the breath from hell, which was pathetic in the extreme. Having now grown a back bone I prefer to get up and de-camp to the spare room. Why are men such disgusting bed fellows?

Yummy if it's teeth, it's teeth and I wouldn't get too hung up on habits forming. Dolitoddle slept through every night from 10 weeks to 6 months, and then she started teething. For the next 5 months I didn't get a single unbroken night, and I was feeding her at least once to get her to settle. At the moment she's sleeping through again, but I fully expect that to change when her molars come through. So what I'm trying to say in a round about way is the difference between her sleeping, and not sleeping, isn't some magic sleep training method, or feeding schedule, it's whether or not she is feeling ok in herself.

My tip for preventing the night feeds from messing up breakfast etc is to dilute the milk. DD doesn't notice. That might just be her, but it's worth a try.

Am on day 4 of home alone with the toddler, and so far not so bad. It'll get worse tonight when DH comes stumbling it late, complaining about the journey, how tired he is, and in doing so wakes up the toddler. The stag do is bizarrely pretty much my definition of the perfect holiday, so I am trying not to be too envious. So far they've done a 4 hour kayak race, been to the Isle of Skye and are today climbing Ben Nevis. The irony is DH hates all that outdoor stuff, and I love it. If he starts whining about how he'd rather have been at home I may have to pull the PMT card to get me out of a conviction for battery

Betty how was the show home? Did you enjoy your day as a SAHM

Teeth don't seem to cause too much sleep trouble here. What does is snot. We had two months of crap sleep from Christmas onwards, but when the snot went the sleep returned. Another cold kicked in two weeks ago, lasted a week, and during that week there was extra milk in the night. I figured it was only temporary and if it made her feel less rough and got us both more sleep then it was fair enough.

When are everyone's toddler mealtimes? Night feeds don't interfere with breakfast here because breakfast is usually around half eight or nine o'clock. Seven flozzes at 11.30 right before naptime, lunch at 2pm unless she wakes earlier, tea at 5.30pm, and eight flozzes at bedtime (between 6.30pm and 7pm).

stormy ds doesn't have any milk daytime only at bed and overnight. Apart from this week as he has refused breakfast, generally its between 7-8am. On days I work and he wakes early I give him breakfast at 7 and he will have another breakfast at mums around 8.30/9. He is ok with a cold really. I raise his mattress and give karvol and that seems to help.

You are right. I know he doesn't understand how much sleep ive lost over two years. He has helped with some nights but that has been once a week and still I would have to wake him up.

I like to have my space in bed too, dh is a cuddler but it's nice to have him there if I have nightmare.

pud I wish I could give gin and nightnurse. Im sure that would make him sleep. (Of course im joking )

thank you all for your comments. Thank god for this group. In rl all babies I know are perfect or so the parents say.

betty how was the showhome? Did you see anything nice?

Just been catching up with today's activity but can't get out of my head plonky's early morning assertion that "I like todger"

Agree with you stormy about words for different circumstances. You'd recoil if you heard your nan say the c word and equally nauseating is hearing a toddler say "my vulva hurts". I think I'm with Stormy on girl bits. It's complex down there afterall. I'd hoped the girl bits expert might have some wisdom for us! But no, she's busy creating alternative realities for herself Do tell us about your show home. Can I make a few predictions? The dining table had a table runner on it and coloured wine glasses. The kitchen had a fridge you could hide in. The bathroom had some twigs and shit going on. Correct?

Doli no one has mentioned your private vaccinations query. Until you mentioned it I was unaware they were options. Do you know at what cost and whether they've been as thoroughly tested as the standard vaccinations? Interesting to consider.

Yummy I just want to run down to London and give you a big squeeze and tell you what an awesome job you're doing. Get dh to get involved. And maybe save your tactics for when you have him to help properly and over a period of time you're not working. For now do what you need to do.

We hafta morning woods walk and then visited a national Trust walled garden. Interesting that Ecotod was able to propel herself around the garden herself. We ambled and chatted about our new garden and she chased guinea fowl, chewed pebbles and got lots of attention from the normal trust clientele. And she's worn out which we hope bodes well for sleep tonight. I finally struck national Trust tea shop gold with my combo today. Perfect! Share first a buttered cheese scone and then share fruit scone with clotted cream and jam. Best of both worlds and you still have only had 'one scone'.

Is anyone else still breastfeeding? What is your grand plan for packing it in? Do you even have a plan? I had thought initially I'd see if I could make it to six months so hadn't needed a plan but then I just thought she'll wean herself off around twelve months. She is offered milk twice during day and on waking in morning, and bedtime. She takes it every time. It's all a bit in danger of getting a bit bitty. I know that if I didn't offer she'd wean quickly (or have a bag on for a few days) but am curious about your tactics. Betty perhaps, or rainbow? Can't remember who else has yet to reclaim their boobs.

Right, I have a half watched film starring pierce b downstairs to watch. Very bizarre. Norwegian I think. Better get to it. Enthralling stuff.

Oh, and it's my last day of work tomorrow as an employed person. Tomorrow I become an ex civil servant.

eco by all means give me a squeeze. I will even offer you a scone or two too. i love your wood adventures. Ecotod will grow up to be always remembering her adventures with you.

Since ds went to bed at 7 we have had countless wake ups. Its definitely teeth thats been giving him trouble this past week. Ive just given him calpol, water and teething granules and i think hes now settled. Teeth 7 and 8 are poking through but im sure there will be more making there appearences soon. Now i feel a bit silly for freting about ds waking up in habit and drinking extra milk at night this week when hes just not been well in himself. Its such a shame I lost the manual when we came home from hospital when he was born

Ah yes sorry doli i didnt answer your question about private vaccines. I didnt know they were available privately. How successful are they? I need to do a bit of research on this then make a decision. Which reminds me i need to see if ds needs any vaccines if we went to Turkey for summer holidays. Theres lots i need to do likegoing to sleep and mn keeps me busy.

eco have a lovely last day at work tomorrow. Hope you get a nice leaving gift

Yummy I fell asleep before saying sthg helpful about milk yesterday then we were also up at 1.30. Gave milk for the first time in months. poor DH then had to spend the rest of the night on the floor.

Too tired to say anything else. Hope everyone ok

Some useful links on vaccines:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/vaccinations/a1418837-Getting-DCs-vaccinated-against-Chicken-Pox

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-26679492

www.meningitis.org/news-media/bexsero

I haven't looked into costs or where they are available yet, but I'd be prepared to travel as I can't see any downside to getting them done.

Gerry we've caught your pox! How is dd doing now?

eco have fun in your last day as a civil servant. Now you can be an uncivil one

yummy honestly although your ds doesn't need milk overnight now, what's the harm? It's your sleep (and I agree this is something dh should help more with, he could at least give you opportunities to rest more). But if you feel ds needs it then do it. And don't fret over midnight milk when he's not well. Can I give you a big squeeze too? You sound like a fab mum.

Jabs...hmm. Well we obviously don't need the chickenpox jab now, but I wouldn't have got that unless he'd started school and not had pox. Dp had cp when he was 15 and said it was excruciating, never mind it being 2 weeks off during a gcse year. Meningitis terrifies me though (I know a few people who've had it, resulting in brain damage, speech/hearing loss, and for one poor sod, death) so we might get this jab.

On a lighter note we've found some very cheap flights and are looking at a late summer holiday. I can't wait. Although we'd be flying a day or two after the muddy madness so best not break my leg.