Urgh. My AF has been heavy since the first one back. Heavier than before but generally 5-6 days rather than 6-7. I'm pretty sure tampons are fine any time after 6 weeks post-natal! Although, this being MN, I do feel obliged to suggest a mooncup instead! 
Keep meaning to get one to try but I find tampons a bit icky & you just have to throw them away!
My depression's bad again. 
I'm feeling like suicide is inevitable & I'm just hanging on for as long as possible so I don't completely destroy the DS's childhood. I know it's not inevitable really, just feels like it. Feelings are not reality, no matter how real they feel. I guess I'll be heading back to the GP to beg for different drugs. They gave me sertraline last time which I tried a couple of times to start taking & ended up feeling like I was in a different dimension just watching the real world just a couple of hours after the first dose each time! I've had fluoxetine previously which did help but I don't know if it's ok with breastfeeding. I don't want to give up quite yet. It's most useful as a soothing method when Runt nearly gouges out his eye on the corner of the table! He missed by about 1.5cm!
Calf has his favourite toys but it's not like he can't sleep without them - they get confiscated on a regular basis when he's messing around humping them instead of going to sleep! It only ever used to be one toy but then he went to stay with GPs & they forgot to pack his special toy to come home. I suggested toy2 as an alternative so now he asks for both!
Tonight's bedtime was a nightmare. The last 2 days I've fed them & had them going to bed just as DH has come home at 7.15. Calf hasn't had his afternoon nap so has gone down perfectly, although last night he did get out of bed just long enough to open his door & fall asleep in the doorway with his bum in the air though! 
This afternoon he didn't have a nap & DH was in charge of cooking. We'd agreed that on the weekend we'd all eat early so we could stick to their routine. Dinner was served at 7.15. Calf was bouncing off the walls before we even sat down! I completely freaked out because there were too many different noises going on, including Calf's hideous monotone-moan which feels like a drill in my brain. I left the room once I'd finished eating to go rest my eye which has been bothering me all day. DH finished feeding them & then locked them in the same room as me to go make Calf's bed, having washed his sheets. It took him nearly 20 minutes & then he only came down because I shouted! 
At this point Calf was pacing around the lounge in circles like a caged animal & making me feel really anxious. I ignored DH struggling to get him to stay still while attempting to wrestle him into his clothes. I've yet to point out to DH that him having to shout at Calf was entirely his own fault because he ignored the routine which had been working. I suspect he knows this but it's just so unfair to Calf that we/DH should put him in a position where he's going to behave like that when he'd have been fine if we'd stuck to the routine!
Today's not been a good day. Can you tell?! Hope everyone else is having a nicer weekend!