December 2013 - sleepless nights & lots of cooing

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Our very first Thread :)

nope, no sleep for me tonight- ok maybe i got less than an hour and Joshua got only slightly more. The nurses didn't even offer to help settle him so I could sleep- my supply is going to plummet if I'm exhausted so surely it's important to keep mum healthy? I feel like a zombie and I'm so down.

DH has to do the shift tonight but I might run out of EBM but you know what, right now I couldn't give a monkeys if he's on formula all night. I'm so fed up of no one giving a shit- sorry just feeling sorry for myself. I was wondering around upset, crying and neither of the nurses seemed to care or offer help. I felt pathetic for being so upset. The doctor got annoyed when I was pacing around asking if anyone could help as the heart monitor was flashing and beeping.

oh god, I guess it can only get better right? I have to think that in a month this nightmare will be over (please let it be over!)...

Oh god mum, that sounds so rough. On top of all the stress of your baby being ill and you being tortured with sleep deprivation, the insult of no one looking out for you or supporting you to support him is outrageous. You have every right to feel angry, upset and along with the tiredness a messy, zombie mix of things. You poor thing. Hand over to DP whenever you can (can he take time off work? His baby and wife need it as a matter of urgency I'd say) so you can catch up on sleep? He'll be fine on formula for a bit and you can express at home when you feel full. Really hope it starts to get better for you soon, even if you need to have a meltdown to get those around to notice what you need. Be really insistent - you need sleep NOW. Good luck xx

By the way, you are definitely not being pathetic - anyone would be an utter mess in those circumstances x

mum you poor thing, there's nothing worse than no sleep when bf.
Try and get some sleep, even if you give ff for a day and express after he's had a ff to keep your supply up and stop you getting too full and uncomfortable, it's not healthy for you to keep this up when you really need sleep Hun.
I don't bf at all now and I really admire you being able to do it with 2 toddlers to watch too.....you're a star!
You really need to care for you too and remember you've done brill with the bf and ff babies are just as healthy too, you must do whats best for you ALL. Xx

Mum do what you need to do to survive. Its horrendous when they are in hospital never mind such a young baby. Try and get a couple of hours sleep today if you can. And have a shower or bath at home. It will make the world of difference.

And now it's Monday you will find the staff will change on the ward and hopefully for the better.

Seb a major clingon this morning. Sigh. Have a friend coming down to see us today from quite a distance and feel awful suggesting pub rather than doing her some lunch here but I don't think I can put him down long enough to hoover around never mind make lunch.

mum I hope your dh can get some time off to take over for a bit, and that this morning's staff are much more helpful. Lots of hugs for you all.
frouby pub lunch in those circumstances sounds good, although I'm sure your friend wouldn't mind a messy house when she has your gorgeous baby to coo over.
hotcross how's your lo's cold? I hope you both got sme sleep.
Feeling a mixture of emotions today, very happy as had a lovely visit from my mum yesterday and Genevieve properly chuckled at her (I think my DH almost cried!) but very sad as its become obvious that my milk supply is now none existent, last few days in managed no more than 20ml a day. It's just become too much effort for very little reward, so I'm using the last of the stored frozen milk today and that will be it. We made it to two months, which is a lot longer than I dared hope for whilst I was ill but I had such dreams of bf her for as long as she wanted whilst I was pg so I'm still quite disappointed I couldn't. There's so much guilt and worry involved in motherhood.

Thing is alyssa formula or breast milk, the problem is I'm in the same room as him and every time he spits his dummy out and cries I have to get up and soothe him and last night he didn't settle for any length of time for me to sleep. I'm just worried the doc will suggest I start Bf and although there's nothing more I want than him to bf I just don't know if I have the strength if I don't sleep again

I was up till 3 mum, but sadly no hands to check phone as was feeding! Hope you got some sleep . Glad to hear your lo is doing better, and well done for feeding him even through it all, that's amazing. How is he this morning? How are you? Dd fed I effectively on the boob from 6-11 then from 1-2.30, then I caved and gave her formula and she's slept till 8! I didn't sleep though a safer epic feed breasts went nuts and got painfully engorged! Arg!
Sometimes I think trying to breast feed when we're both so rubbish at it is doing her more harm than good. Bfing mums: how long do your Los feed for before their satisfied ? I know it's not an exact science , but I'd be interested to know what's normal. I feel like I could feed her 24 hours a day and she'd still not be satisfied!

Oops started that message at 7 when no other messages after mum's at 3am. Clearly now very out if date.

Ah I see mum so it's not gonna help to bottle feed either, hopefully he will pick up soon.
Thinking of you all xx

Mum you should def mention to the Monday staff about your lack of support over the weekend. I can't even imagine what you are going through. It is obviously important to you that you bf but look out for yourself as well. No point it making yourself ill over it. If you have to switch to formula no one will judge you. I agree with froub - try & get home for a shower or a bath. Maybe get yourself a fancy coffee with lots of whipped cream & some caffeine.

Froub my LO is major cling on too! Walked to the post office this morning & he screamed the whole way there. Tried to carry him & push the pushchair but my elbow was killing me so had to put him back in & walk as fast as possible to get home. Not great for me either as I was planning on being so productive this week but my moby wrap is hanging up to dry & DS spit up all over it last night!! Might be a day of watching the Winter Olympics for me!

Mogz don't feel guilty about switching to ff! You have to do what is best for you and your LO! I was definitely very pro bf while pregnant & I'm lucky because DS & I appear to be naturals & I do enjoy it - however I can definitely see the benefits of ff now whereas before I didn't think there were any. I'm tempted to supplement but I know that's a slippery slope.

Quamquat - my LO feeds for varying amounts of times so I'm no help really. But I'd say an average is probably 45 minutes or so. It is very time consuming. Lately he has pretty much fed from 3am to 6/7am. If I think he's fallen asleep & try to take him off he wakes up screaming. I need to solve this as it is wearing me out.

Qumquat it's normal hun. Or it was for us for the first 6 weeks. I saw a massive change at 6 weeks.

Is there someone to hold lo for a couple of hours each day for you. Seb was better with dp holding him as he can't smell milk.

And a sling really did make a difference. Even though you still have a hold of the baby you get off the sofa and have both hands free. And it gives your boobs a rest.

Mum you're doing amazingly well and the way they're treating you is appalling, I hope you can manage to snatch some sleep today. You have to look after yourself, I find hysterical meltdowns in front of medical staff often the only way to get help, although it's ridiculous that they are needed! You are the very opposite of pathetic.

Thanks for the input on bf. I think I could cope if I weren't in pain throughout. Midwife thinks it might be thrush, but I think it's probably just bad latch. I have a sling and it's saved my life on many occasions! Although it's painful to wear as pushes against my boobs, I grit my teeth through it as I love the snuggliness.

mumof you're doing so well in such a horrible situation - thinking of you.

Hannah had her jabs this morning and is very unhappy now. Just gave her first ever dose of Calpol - I didn't think that was allowed but both the GP and nurse said it was fine even though she's 8wks and the bottle says 3mths. Anyway, hope it helps her feel better. She just seems to want to sleep but is very fitful nd wakes crying at any opportunity. Am just plonking in front of telly for the day so I can hold her. Watched last night's Call The Midwife earlier nd cried bucket loads!

The fb group is private so none of your friends list will know you have joined. We talk about EVERYTHING on there lol.

So jealous of the Facebook group lol, I would have joined if I didn't have a dick of and ex and his new wife on Facebook and I know once I set an account up again, I will use it to post pics of the family and the least he knows about what I'm doing and where I am, the batter for everyone involved lol.

What about using a fake name? Or only using it for the fb group. It's completely private. So no one can see what we post xx

I might post this in the breast feeding forums as well but...

DS is 9 wo this week & exclusively BF. He won't sleep by himself - like ever. If he's dead asleep (floppy arms and all) as soon as I put him in the bouncer/moses basket/pram/couch/wherever he wakes up.

But that isn't really my question. My question is more this... is it normal that I pretty much cannot get him to sleep unless I BF him.

It is exhausting and I want to keep trying to get him to sleep in his own space but it goes like this...

BF him until he falls asleep. Wait until he is properly asleep.
Move him to bouncy seat.
He wakes up.
The only way to soothe him is to BF him again until he falls asleep again.

REPEAT.

Is this normal? Will it end... soon? Please?

I should say that sometimes I put him in the moby wrap and I can rock him to sleep.

Sounds like he may be using you as a dummy crispy while I bf L he did the same thing until I gave him a dummy xx

Alyssa - definitely he is doing that but if I try and put an ACTUAL dummy in his mouth he gags and spits it out. I try to reason with him and tell him that he isn't actually gagging because it doesn't go in his mouth that far but he doesn't listen to reason. Funny that...

Crispy it all sounds normal. Ds will only fall asleep in my arms (or pram) and I have to inch him into the crob - I start by rocking him in my arms seated then use that rocking momentum to get up without fit jarring him. Then rock and lower into crib, when he is down I keep my hands there until he has settled then inch them out, the 'hug and roll'. Also any time I am settling him even in my arms I shhhh loudly then do it as I move him and it now works, took a few days but now he knows that means sleep and you can feel him relax to it. All this took me weeks to achieve and eventually I decided I had to put him down all night even if I had to keep at it and got no sleep, he very quickly got better. He doesn't feed to sleep tho as bottle fed. My biggest problem is dh finds it harder to settle him so lets him sleep on his chest, undoes all my good work!

My DD won't take a dummy! I have tried different ones but she's not interested. Also she had BCG today, anyone else here had the vaccination offered to them? I'm in a london borough where TB is rife so that's why we had it but not sure if offered nationwide. Anyway she had today and seems to be ok (so far!)

Ah the gagging crispy yes L did that too, he took it later though but I do think I kept forcing it and I probably shouldn't have
He's just starting going down on his own a lot more now, the first 9 weeks off his life and even a couple days ago I held him all the time for 48 hours while dp was on night shift, he only went down on his own a couple hours here and there so even he is not completely settled on his own yet Hun.
I think it's very natural for newborns and as someone else said for ff babies as they can smell mums milk.

Hello. it's whispermen here on a nc :)