October 2013 Bus Graduates: the one where we're not pregnant anymore

[MrsHoratioNelson]

Check in here. Do we still need the stats?

So glad christening went well ana
flyer I hope DP came to his senses last night and your ok this morning. Sending hugs and hope a gave you a good night to try and make up for it x

missed your post mrsH but im sure C wouldnt have been crying all that time. Im glad you managed to get some sleep and DH now sees what you spend your days doing.

Mine generaly sleeps through the middle of the night feed bt stays up till 11ish to help with winding and holding I upright after her feed. last night he told me he thinks he needs to start going to bed earlier because hes so tired he sleeps from 11 till half 6 with maybe a 10 second interruption when Isla first crys. He then thought it was unreasonable for me to suggest he sleeps in the spare room if he wants to come up early. Seriously what an arse. When we met we were at uni,he was on a placement so getting up at 7 and would come on a night out till 3/4 3 nights a week. how can he possibly say hes too tired. sorry for the rant clearly wound me up more than I thought.

Hugs flyer I hope he's both suffering and hugely apologetic this morning

Thanks hayle, it's definitely less sore when it's empty so I'll express a bit more often from it. Here's a link to the tongue tie thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/1903386-Baby-with-tongue-tie-any-experiences

ana you should be able to get it from any chemist with a pharmacy. It's usually behind the counter, it was £1.20 for a small bottle from my local chemist, £2 odds for the same size from Boots.. You just put it on cotton wool and use it like water to clean but you don't need to wipe/dry it off. Then I put vaseline on afterwards and it's kept it at bay since it cleared up. If there's still red raw spots or patches tho, I'd recommend the cannesten too, the midwife thought there was a touch of a fungal infection in N.. The timmodine steroid cream didn't really make a difference I think since you could only use it twice a day and he was sure to dirty his nappy again immediately after it was applied!

MrsH sympathies men!

Pink also sympathies I do wonder how men would cope it the roles were reversed!

So no apology he was slagging me off to his friends who are also friends of mine when he was out yesterday he said what a crap girlfriend I'd been these past 12 months, he also in midst row said that A probably wasn't his and that my mother is an interfering old cow and what a horrible person I am!

I want to leave my parents also want me to leave, my mum has helped out massively since A came along and I would have struggled without her but he doesn't like the fact she has stayed with us on several occasions (at my request) she suggested to him yesterday morning that it maybe more helpful if he got up earlier in the morning to help me out (he rolled out of bed at 10am yesterday) got ready checked his emails and went out to watch the football till 9 pm last night! AIBU? I struggle to make a cuppa or eat breakfast as A wants to be held when she's awake!

Flyer hope he apologises profusely this morning.

pinkbuttons my DP also complains about being tired, despite the fact that he doesn't have anything to do with S from about 6pm at night (when cluster feeds start) to 7am in the morning!

The christening sounds lovely ana, glad it went so well.

Hope everyone had a good night.

Sorry Flyer crossed posts.

Really sorry to hear about your DP's comments. Hope you can talk it through/sort it out with him today.

Glad your mother has been so supportive, that is lovely.

Flyer that's awful. Other than general twattishness do you know what's prompted this? I can't remember (and excuse my rudely asking) was A planned? Is he feeling out of his depth? Not that any of that would excuse the horrible things he said :(

Flyer you are not being unreasonable at all. He basically had a full day of baby duty yesterday, expects you to do it all but also doesn't want your mum there. Madness! I think is so disrespectful to suggest A isn't his :( I hope he comes to his sense. We are all still fragile, only weeks since we all gave birth! I hope you can get a little TLC and help with A from your mum today.

Flyer you are absolutely not being unreasonable. A baby is more than a full time job and I have no idea how you're supposed to cope on your own. What a horrible rude thing to say to you. You need to do what's right for you and your gorgeous girl. You've been so strong, so keep hanging on in there. Make the most of other family help and support. Big hugs and lots of love. Xxxxx

Yeah MrsH she was planned. I have no idea what his problem is probably the fact that he doesn't like being offered any advice from anyone else ( he gets very defensive) my mum could see he isn't pulling his weight as she's been here Wednesday until Saturday and every night he has rolled in at 8pm from work opened up his laptop and started working again not even spent an hour with me just sits as his desk and works

Poor you, flyer. Forgive me, but wasn't he a bit of a twat during the pregnancy too? (Apologies if I'm mixing you up with someone else). He needs a massive kick up the bum.

Imp that's the one

:-0 big hugs to u flyer the 'A isn't mine' comment is what would have filled me with rage, I would say yes to leavin even if it only turns out to be a few days as perhaps he will realise what he's lucky to have if its gone. Hope your ok xx

ana so glad baby had a lovely christening, sorry he isn't feeling too well but on the plus side at least he helped him behave lol xx

Oh Flyer :(. I know we all have our "what have we done" moments but there's no excuse really.

Big hugs xx

Had a visit from the Jehovahs witnesses this morning. One look at the dressing giwn and baby hanging off my boob a nd they scarpered

Just popping on to say flyer. Unfortunately I've been in your position when dd was 18-20 months. It took me till then to get the courage to leave. Although we were only apart from 4 months it was the kick up the arse he needed. He shouldnt be talking about you like that. He should be speaking to you about it. He's 100% out of order for claiming A isn't his. Hope he realises how awful he has been Xxxx

Only halfway through catching up, but while I remember:

Shooting - reflux, silent or otherwise, often doesn't show until 3-5 weeks. Mine were fine until one month or so.

Ana - Liquid paraffin - it's called Oilatum Junior. My old HV (with DD) prescribed it for DD from day one. Thus time I just bought it. It's FAB for babies with dry skin. Incredibly mild and lovely. You just add a capful to the bath.

Flyer - not caught up with what your DP's done yet but huge hugs until I've got something sensible to say..... X x

Flyer. He is being a total idiot, as you (thankfully) know. My DH has twattish moments - a reality check helps. Honestly? If you can muster up the energy, explain exactly why and how he is being an idiot and the way in which you need support, then go and stay at your mum's for a week. You'll get a lovely test. I did this to DH at one point with DD. It worked....

Once he's (hopefully) stewed for a week and manned up (and this us a bit of advice for all with annoying DHs) I had to "learn" to let him parent in his way as he, rightly, dudntvwant me breathing down his neck. Even now (and he's a fab dad, has been a stay at home dad) I have to let him do stuff his way sometimes, even if its bit how I'd do it...,

But that's once he's actually engaging and helping!

Gah, excuse typos... You get the gist..

Flyer I'm so sorry, it's the last thing you need :( Thoae comments and that behaviour is unforgivable. Take care x

flyer I'm so sorry your DP us being such an idiot. I think maybe your mum made him feel guilty that he wasn't doing enough and went to attack you as a form of defence. It sounds like he hasn't forgiven you from what happened before, but it in no way excuses him suggesting that A isn't his.

I'm in no way suggesting that you split up, but maybe it would help going to your mums for a bit to let him now that this is not acceptable behaviour and you would get more help with A.

Flyer - sorry to hear your DP is being an ass. Glad to hear you have your Mum for support

Imp - LOL at the image of you opening door to JWs

Just had lactation consultant round who said A had 50% tongue tie. So she snipped it but says, given how old he is, it may take another 4 weeks to unlearn his tongue tie bad habits :-/

Really annoyed that the first three people who checked for this missed it. But, more importantly, will now concentrate on improving his latch and reducing my pain.

Ana so glad the Christening went well, though sorry little ana isn't well. We're having C's christening next Sunday. Looking forward to showing him off to my siblings (who live far away and haven't met him yet), but slightly stressed about tue reception thing afterwards. Christening's are a much bigger deal/party in DH's family than mine - 50+ people, hot food, music - kind of like a small wedding really! In my family people would just come back to the house for buffet lunch & cake. Think I'll try feeding C just before as well and hope that he doesn't vomit during the christening...

Btw Flyer - I also didn't mean split up, just a few days "space" for you to get looked after by your mum and for him to dwell...

Also a break from your crap health visitors...