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October 2013 Bus Graduates: the one where we're not pregnant anymore

999 replies

MrsHoratioNelson · 10/11/2013 18:25

Check in here. Do we still need the stats?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Flyer747 · 24/11/2013 14:56

So he apologised and said he said those awful things because he was drunk, no excuse.

I told him I don't want to be with him unless he stops being an arse. He says he doesn't want us to go.

A few days space I think is a good idea and I'm going to my mums tomorrow.

Flyer747 · 24/11/2013 14:59

Also A has a cold do babies sleep a lot more when they have a cold?

Haylebop12 · 24/11/2013 15:02

flyer going to your mums sounds like a good plan. I would do exactly the same.

Isaac too has a cold and is very sleepy. I see it as by sleeping they are repairing their body :-) hope she's ok x

ananikifo · 24/11/2013 15:29

flyer I hope the time apart puts things into perspective and he learns to appreciate you. I'm sorry you have to deal with this in top of all your hard work with A. As for colds, J has been sleeping longer than usual at night (4 hours+ when his nose isn't blocked) and slept all through his christening. I believe his cold is making him much sleepier.

Natalieand · 24/11/2013 17:08

Bit off topic but hoping someone on here might be able too help. Wanting to take dd to winter wonderland in Hyde park but wondering if its worth getting my sister to take baby H for the day? Or isit relatively buggy/baby friendly? xx

PseudoBadger · 24/11/2013 17:33

Yes I've worked on that event for several years now. I would recommend not taking a buggy if you can avoid it, it's very very busy. People do take them and it really blocks up the flow of people. Have fun!

roxvox · 24/11/2013 18:33

I hope a couple of days apart does your DP some good flyer.

Who was it (I think if was flyer and someone else) who mentioned fissures on here a while ago? Did you manage to do anything to help or resolve the issue?

A is stressing me out a bit. She's been really frantic and frequent with her feeds for the past week, but today she seems to be getting particularly stressed with it all, and when I look at my app it tots up that she's not spent as long feeding today as usual! She feeds every hour during the day, all short feeds. The time spent feeding is about 20% actually sucking and 80% unlatching and crying uncontrollably. Really hope this is the growth spurt still (1 week so far) and not just a new way of feeding Hmm

OrangeBlossom2 · 24/11/2013 19:50

Rox it is me with the fissures (delightful) I am waiting to 6 week check to discuss with doctor but I have found moist wipes better than tissue and leaning forward on toilet helps it not hurt/cut me as much but that might just be because of where mine are. I have a high fibre diet which is the advice to keep things soft. I can imagine that being constipated would make it worse.

Flyer that sounds liked a good idea but sorry you have been put in that position. I am sure your mum will give you lots of tlc, sounds like she has been good so far, and that DP comes to his senses.

Rox, do you think she is more efficient at sucking now so doesn't need as long to get what she needs?

JellyCurls · 24/11/2013 21:20

Hugs flyer, hope things ok for you.

Calling all C-Section ladies I still can't feel my bladder at nearly 8 weeks, only know I need to pee when my tummy gets sore and then I am in loo forever. Please tell me this is ok and my need to wee will return. I have a reminder set on my phone to alarm every 2 hours, DH thinks this is hilarious as do kids but I don't want to have an alarm set for pee breaks the rest of my life.

Baby J is having his first night in cot in his own room tonight. Well Moses basket is in the cot but he will be in cot very soon as when he stretches out he hits top and bottom of basket

pinkbuttons · 24/11/2013 21:42

flyer im so sorry youve been put in the situation where you need to have a few days away but am glad you have your mum there for support. heres hoping DP sorts his head out while your gone and realises what he could lose. hope your ok tonight. x

jelly im not sure how helpful this will be because I didnt have a c section but after my difficult labour with DS it took 10 months for my sensation to come back. I had a timer for every 3 hrs though after having a kidney infection early on. I went to the GP numerous times about it and was eventually referred but feeling started coming back at 10 months and was mostly normal after a yr. I would definitely ask GP about it though just to make them aware. I know not helpful due to individual circumstances but just thought might help to know that mine took a very long time to return x

ananikifo · 24/11/2013 22:25

jellycurls I didn't have a c section but I haven't felt my bladder properly since giving birth. At five weeks it's better but not normal by any means. The midwives just keep telling me to do pelvic floor exercises. I didn't know this was such a common side effect after having a baby. I was afraid of incontinence, not the opposite.

roxvox · 24/11/2013 22:38

Thanks orange, yeah they aren't pleasant at all are they! I dread going to the loo. I've gone for high fibre too, and am trying to drink loads of fluids. Apparently they are quite common in breastfeeding women due to your body using up fluids to make milk and therefore leaving you with less fluid and harder stools made of razor blades. I swear though that I am drinking so much water, and have upped my fibre intake, but it doesn't seem to have made much of a difference. I feel like I need an epidural painkillers for every bowel movement (haven't take any as of yet though)t. Anyway, I digress. I think I might just have to start eating lots and lots of fruit.

As for A being more efficient orange, I would love to think that was the case, if she wasn't coming off the breast crying and then rooting for more right away. She seems to feed well in the early hours, so I wonder if she is finding the sounds and light all a bit too distracting during the day. Seems an odd thing to suddenly develop though considering she's been good up until this week. She's also started to latch poorly occasionally. It doesn't hurt me, and she's definitely getting milk, but she refuses to open her mouth very wide so ends up slurping on my nipple. Again, this seems to be better at night so perhaps it is a senses overload thing. I will try some new tactics tomorrow.

Jelly I can't help, but I have always had a fear of exactly what you're going through after a few public accidents in my teens in which I wet myself (right at the age when the most important thing in the world to you is to be attractive to the popular boy in school). So I hope you get it sorted soon. Setting an alarm to remind you to go is an excellent idea!

Flyer I hope things are better for you this evening x

roxvox · 24/11/2013 22:41

Ps I miss the more regular chat on this forum. I used to love coming on during my night feeds and reading through about 8 posts, now I'm lucky to refresh and see one new post! However, I am one of the people who is posting less... It takes forever to type a message with one hand, and I am always using the other to support a little wriggly baby!

thethreeblondies · 24/11/2013 22:43

Oh flyer so sorry, not what u need! I agree with the whole "men are wired different" thinking, they really are a different species! I'm very lucky and DH on the whole is very supportive, he tells me how great I am at everything which is also his reasoning for leaving everything to me!
Hope a few days apart do the trick, I've threatened to leave in the past, and had to ask him if "xyz" is worth losing us over, thankfully that's been enough xx

Thanks for the cot tip Hayle ordered the bedside one, should keep him in with us a bit longer, drafty house and can't be doing with having him across the hallway just yet! Xx

PseudoBadger · 24/11/2013 22:47

Fissure ladies - make sure you put your feet on a stool (ha ha) or similar when trying to poo, and lean right forward. It seems to help. My fissure has returned :(

Flyer747 · 24/11/2013 22:56

I agree about missing all the posts rox.

I also have a fissure it's agony like shitting razor blades it bleeds loads also. The midwife told me the Dr can give you a suppository to help I'm considering as it's excruciating going for a poo.

Rox I swear your A and my A are twins separated at birth she also has developed bad bf habits same here with the over stimulation and latch. I watch her eyes scanning the room whilst I'm feeding her. So nosy Grin

Jelly sorry I haven't experienced this sensation or lack of it. I'm still having lochia 6 weeks on want it to stop now.

So I managed to squeeze myself ignoring the muffing top into a pair of topshop size 10 jeans so was quite pleased.

DP been apologising loads promising to be more supportive and begged me to stay. Not sure what to do! Men

thethreeblondies · 24/11/2013 23:09

I've run out of breast pads! I'll let u all know in the morning how sanitary towels hold up instead! Smile

roxvox · 24/11/2013 23:16

pseudo I will try that, thank you!

flyer as daft as it sounds considering what we have recently been through (labour), I am scared to tell my doctor I have fissures in case he/she wants to take a look or have a feel or whatever - which I am assuming they would want to do? I'd quite like any pain relief they could give though!

Speaking of flashing everything to a doctor - do they always do a vaginal check at the 6 week appointment, or is it only something they do if you have concerns?

flyer not only are our babies twins, but I think we might be too. 7 weeks 2 days and I still have my lochia. As for bad feeding habits - I thought that 6 weeks was a magical date after which everything got easier?! Our A's seem to have missed that memo...

ananikifo · 24/11/2013 23:19

I remember when I logged on when I got on the bus after work and there was enough to read to keep me busy through my commute! I love the Facebook pics but miss the chat as well.

sparkleigh (and anyone else) it turns out liquid paraffin is just mineral oil and my mom says in her day people used baby oil (basically scented mineral oil) on babies' bums. She also pointed out that using Vaseline would work in a similar way. I have a few bottles of baby oil from gifts and freebies so I'm trying that now. I don't know what else I would do with that baby oil since I've been told olive oil is better for the skin on his body.

Mnippy · 24/11/2013 23:22

Flyer - glad he has the right attitude now at least - make sure you get some concrete practical promises from him re future behaviour!

I really look forward to reading this thread during the night feeds, here's hoping we all keep posting!

So after some incredibly wanky behaviour since MnipJnr's birth, DP and I now have rules re:

  • no competitive tiredness
  • no asking me to justify what I have been doing with my time or getting cross that things have lapsed. He has to trust that I'm doing my sleep deprived best.
  • no passive aggressive murmuring to baby e.g. 'Mummy's just being unreasonable, isn't she? Come to daddy' etc
  • unless the other person it actually endangering the baby's health, just let them look after the baby as they want to, even if it's not how you would do it.

What has really helped my relationship with DP is thrashing out exactly what practical things he is going to do every day when he gets back from work, and what he is going to do at the weekends when he isn't working. He is usually quite selfish and can't be trusted to just help out as much as he can. And it makes me less stressed to know that there is a certain minimum standard that I can insist on because it has been agreed in advance. Maybe it's because we are first time parents, but although it felt really artificial and OCD and sad at the time, things do feel much more functional now we have sorted exactly who does what.

Re bladder issues - I had a c section and no probs here. BUT I think it's going to be some time before I can use a tampon again, much less have sex...I think I've revirginised after so long! Blush

GeorgieJo · 24/11/2013 23:24

Good luck threeblondies hope they do the trick! (Heard nappies also work well, but not sure I could sleep with them...)

Flyer really good news that your DP has realised he was an idiot and apologised. Very glad he is begging you to stay - quite right!

Thanks to all those with fissures.

I have just expressed a bottle and snuck off the spare room, to try and get an extra hour or two of sleep. Plan is for DP to do the midnight/1am feed and hand back to me at the 3/4am feed. However I am lying in bed worrying about S, and thinking that he will miss me - and already missing him! Ridiculous I know.

Hope everyone had a good night!

Flyer747 · 24/11/2013 23:37

Mnippy I'm Grin at your revirginised! I have no desire for sex whatsoever absolutely no sex drive at all, happy to revirginise with you.

Go and have a lovely kip Georgie.

Rox A also thinks it's fine and dandy to only open her mouth a little too, such a lame attempt from baby flyer.

Threeblondies it's a shame you don't live near I've got 2 packs of lanisosh breast pads unused as I've never leaked.

Also I asked my hv about exercising the other day (6 weeks post c section) I was intending to go for my first run this week and she pipes up that it's 12 weeks before I can exercise! Seems a bit ott can anyone offer any advice on this?

Flyer747 · 24/11/2013 23:39

Mnippy I also laughed at the passive aggressive murmuring to baby Grin

Flyer747 · 24/11/2013 23:45

Also starting to worry about myself I'm addicted to sleeping with white noise on in the background. Especially the vacuum cleaner sound, I came up for a 2 hour nap at 8pm and without even thinking I turned my white noise app on Grin

OrangeBlossom2 · 25/11/2013 00:01

Flyer me and DH said tonight that the womb noises help us sleep now.

Not having problems feeling bladder, but when I pass wind sometimes it feels like it is coming out through vagina. DH worried this means thre is a hole but probably just my ruined pelvic floor. squeeze everyone! Yet another thing to ask at 6 week check. Dr won't be able to get rid of me.

Oh dear blondies! I am leaking less but had to change when friends were here for Sunday lunch as forgot breast pads for first time and got big wet circle on other side while feeding. They were very sweet and didn't mention.