November 2012 - Isn't age one a lot of fun?

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1896209-November-2012-The-birthdays-are-coming-thick-and-fast

fatima that's why I like the cm option. They can go out and do things like park trips, reservoir visits etc. Nurseries are great in that they're bigger, busier, they get used to more people looking after them. I don't know. I wobbled over nursery, and im glad the nursery closed. I'm glad he's with her.

isles I'm going to be a tad blunt and say that every decision you take needs to be the following: I am M's primary carer, I will be HER breadwinner. Keep that firmly in mind and find ft care for her. You can change later. Right now you can NOT count on STBXP or anyone else.

V glad for your aunt yw fx for the next step.

detective elcs next time? They are lovely... And both mine referred to the dog as god. DD1 still does, LO is just starting. Funny in English right? But 'gode' in French is vibrator. Ie the sex toy.

Ooh and amusing anecdote a spoof advert for vibrators was filmed in my old house by my landlady, using all the rooms and ending with 'oh my gode!' . Should I linky on fb if you want to see a place I used to live a long time ago with lors of actresses fake orgasming? They woke me up! Bitches.

Also bear in mind that a nursery doesn't necessarily mean big groups (there's only four in Jonas' room) and a childminder doesn't always mean small groups with one on one care - there's a whole spectrum out there and you'll find somewhere that feels safe, nurturing and just right for your wee lass.

Det I make a chicken, leek and mushroom pie using chicken stock and an oatley / vitalite roux. I put sage, white pepper and thyme in it. It's vair nice and you can hardly tell it's dairy free.

yw makes a good point. We're not 1:1 care but they are his only two carers. It can be busy and hectic when the school kids come back and there's a baby crawling round. But personally I liked it. I liked the nursery he was going to as well. Mainly as they were small groups. I just think all the others I looked at were huge!!! And they moved lots and had staff rotations etc. He doesn't like people he doesn't know!!

I agree with pr statement though. Make every decision based on that.

Cheers YW that sounds perfect! Added what I need to the list!

DP is going shopping tomorrow. I've been very kind and done part of the shop for him through that click and collect thing.

Now, on Sunday when I do the shop and have O with me, why do I never ever think to do such kind things to myself?

I usually trek around Aldi, then Asda to get the stuff I can't get in Aldi, all the while with a child attached to me, getting increasingly irate by the nano second.

DP better be grateful .

Oh. I just found out he's taking O to his mums while he shops. Fuck me.

I shall remember this!!

PR Fuck knows. Maybe just no more kids??!

I think O would do well in a nursery setting. I worry about the other kids to be honest!!

I still would pick a CM for him, as my personal preference, but that is just it. You go with your gut feeling for your child.

Hopefully we won't need childcare for a while yet, and I think if he is over 2 at that point, I'd go for a nursery.

But never say never! You don't know until you go looking!

Jonas is so mischievous and a destructive wee bugger I'd feel bad for a CM's house as he'd be liable to trash it - seriously he's v sociable and confident so for him I thought nursery might be better suited. You will find somewhere. I'd repeat PRs sentiment but I'm getting the vibe that that's how you see it already.

I've left p. I've taken most of my stuff, and have gone. I'm tired and have gone to bed.

Lost on what to do now.
Evil

Where are you evil? Is LO with you?

You will be ok you know. Sleep, but please update us with whereabouts of N. If you are lost we will find you help. Massive hugs. You are brave, lovely and a wonderful mum xxxxx

Evil I hope you feel safe where you are. We are all here to listen.

My brain hurts. I hate this part of colds. The initial achy head and body. Nose hurts. Can feel it taking over. Taken paracetamol.

Pr what are NSAIDs?
I just put albas oil in H room, as he sounded snotty when I went to check on him. I didn't get any on me so hoping that's ok. Just drank two large glasses of milk. Must lay off the coke tomorrow.
Meant to be going hobby craft to pick up stuff for Xmas.
Torn between going or resting. We have Santa at Harrods on Thursday so NEED to be well. And FH is at work 9-5 mon and Tuesday. So tomorrow is my one day to really rest.

Decisions decisions.

Feeding is going ok. A took bottle of formula when out yesterday and today. Which is good. As I just can't find time to express. I know I could just bf, however I think I feel more comfortable knowing I have a back up incase I can't find somewhere I feel comfortable enough to feed in.

He is still cluster feeding in evening from 7-10. Every hour for 20mins. Which is tiring.
Mil has a crazy rant last night. About many things. Which really upset me as I had only finished the cluster feeding and she didn't allow me to just relax and unwind. I spoke to my mum about it. Who thinks she is attention seeking... Picking a fight with me, so that when I react she can be all "poor me, they are horrible to me". Well I ain't biteing... But I will make sure everyone knows about what she says. As she IS bu.
yes have been speaking to FH about moving out

evil you are very brave. One hour at a time. Xxx

Would I be unreasonable to call my parents and ask them to look after O today? I am exhausted and I think in need of quiet time. She seems better in herself. Will think about it.

yw I know is positive about your aunt’s p but made me feel sad. The cancer thing is just so shit.

isles you will be fine. You may be surprised at what you find. I think there is a website as well where local childminders can post their info, if you just google childcare in x it should come up I tried it when I was looking in Ascot and there were lots of interesting people who came up I was shocked.

evil your situation scares me a bit of I'm honest. Is your ex P likely to do something stupid like try and take N or am I over reacting? Would he hurt you if he found you? I hope hope hope you are ok. Xxx

So the funeral is today. The wake was last night at DHs uncles house and the coffin was open at the wake.

DH didn't tell me this. He went up in the afternoon and I cooked dinner for us and my SILs, MIL and DNs. I went up after I had put the boys to bed, to help with teas and sandwiches and walked past the downstairs bedroom and there she was, the door was open and the light was on.

I find that sad too. I did go and see my mum after she died, I was glad I did, although was soulless really. She had been so ill and looked so ill and desperate for so long it was comforting to see her looking peaceful and dressed up to go to the theatre.

But other people I wouldn't have chosen to see.

Now I have been up for a couple of hours having caught gts cold. Feel rough. I have lemsip max tablets and a cup of hot water and lemon.

gt get some rest today. You can do hobby craft another day or on line.

I will be putting on my fave black dress and jacket with baby snot marks on I noticed when I got it out last night, nothing is sacred and high heels and supporting my DH and Sils the best I can.

Feeling gloomy.

Xxx

Oh and lily no. Do it. You can only look after O properly if you have the energy and you have no one to help at home so call them

isles is childcare.co.uk

Sophia it is so very cruel a disease to watch someone go through - possibly why I went a bit Isles P at the thought that anyone would pretend to have it to get sympathy - it makes me think why would you tempt fate / wish it on yourself, use up NHS resources and just make a mockery of something so horrible. Is it awful that I'm glad I saw her before the op just in case ? My sis and I have offered to go down and help look after her when she's released as she has another 26 weeks of chemo but she's adamant she doesn't want sympathy and will be back on her feet in days!

Oh and Sophia good luck for today

We've had two bad refluxy nights - he's been waking crying with squeaky sore throat cries at four and beyond - I guess as the acid has burned his throat. No more dairy for me for a while he has a cough too which is either a cause of his reflux or a symptom. So trace dairy, daily, he can't appear to handle but he can cope once or twice a week. Well it's a start eh?

lily do it

R likes the toddler groups we go to but i think he'd be overwhelmed by a nursery, so I'd probably go for a cm if i had to

Big hugs evil - have you got N?

Lily definitely do it. And spend the day on the sofa looking after you.

Thinking of you today Sophia

I have woken up with a whole new perspective this morning. I registered on childcare website last night and a lovely lady has sent me an email. She is 5 mins away from my mum's house in the town I plan to move to and is happy to be flexible around shifts - which is ideal as while P is on the scene I can save on childcare and abuse his desires to be a SAHD on his weeks off and then come Feb I will be moving into my own shift pattern. I really object to having to pay to reply to her but will do that later this afternoon and try and visit her and a few others next week.

Should I keep the 3 afternoons in nursery, or maybe even 1 afternoon in nursery so that if it doesn't work out I can fall back on them? This cm also does Saturday mornings which is ideal as I can keep up my tutoring then.

If it isn't too cheeky to ask, what is the standard daily/hourly rate for childminders? Nursery is £44 a day inc food. She is charging £3.50p/hr between 7.30-6pm and £4.50p/hr after 6pm and Saturdays. Lunch is £1.20 extra but she is including snacks. Seemingly much cheaper than nursery...

Evil - well done. What a massive step you have taken. Look after yourself and N this morning. Hope you are ok and have some rl support.

Gt your patience astounds me again. I think I would just go back to your mum's and await fh's next move... To your house hopefully.

Hugs to vq, Sophia and yw - cancer is terrifying. Vq I hope you can make some time to look after yourself a bit this weekend - you need some luck and some love just now I think.

Lily hope you can get a break too.

Our week was reasonably succesful. Dd's statementing meeting went well but we now need to see whether the paperwork matches our understanding. G's hip x-ray looked good but dd needs a small investigative op in jan as her other hip is now not looking great. A bit of a blow but not entirely unexpected.

Isles, if the CM offers flexibility then she may be worth her weight in gold. It could however mean that she is very new, or cannot keep clients. Make sure you know all the details, like is there a minimum number of hours, is there a retainer etc, what happens when she is sick, or her kids, or on her and your holidays. For example I was expected to pay the CM half the money for her holidays, she could give me two weeks notice, if she or her kids were ill I did not have to pay, but needed to arrange alternative cover. I also had a CM for after school care and had to pay the full amount as a retainer over holidays. I personally am happier with a nursery, and mine offer a discount if full time or more than one child. They only close between Christmas and new year, and there is no charge for that, but it is worked out annually. Also worth thinking about when she qualifies for free nursery. A CM will charge full hours usually even if the kid is at nursery, but a partner nursery registered for early years, will give an additional discount.

Hope you are ok Evil x

Horsey I will message you on FB a bit later.

YW I am glad your Aunt is doing ok. She sounds like a very brave lady.

J has not vomited since Monday and his sleep is much better despite being full of snot. The reason? Increase in Omeprazole. I actually put it up to 20 a day gradually as that is the max and he is a big boy.

Thank you for all your lovely messages about MIL, and the gift could not have come at a better time. And the quiche in the hamper, OMFG!!! I have never tasted such an awesome quiche in my life!!! I was keeping the box, but DH recycled it. It was Higgly something. Please please please could someone let me know where I can get more???? Seriously it was orgasmic

Isles my nursery is £38.50 per day, or £22 per half day. I pay less than that as I have two in full time, plus DD2 has her free hours. It is still £1300 per month though. But I know they will never turn them away because someone is on holiday or ill (except if the kid is obviously) and I do not get charged double for public holidays like the CM used to. And they will not decide that actually, they do not want to be a CM any more and give you two weeks notice (bitter)

It was a higgidy quiche. That specific one came from waitrose but you can get them is sainsbos as well. I don't even like quiche and I thought it looked deelish!

At the in laws. Limited time for thinking let alone typing.

Eep

isles our CM is £3.50 per hour between 7am and 6pm including food. However seeing as M only goes one day a week we pay a flat fee of £35 per say, if she went more than one day we'd pay hourly rounded up to the nearest half hour I think.
VQ gives you something to think about with the retainers, CM holidays etc so check that out. That is one way a nursery appealed but seeing as M is one day a week we didn't think it'd be a problem.
With our CM if she's on hol or ill we don't pay, if we have a hol if we give 4 weeks notice we don't pay.