The 7th Broadly Gemini Luxury Bus - Now with highchairs!

[AGnu]

Old thread here

Bibs at the ready, things are about to get very messy!

So I sent DH to the supermarket to buy cod to make fish pie for us and baby pear. I'm meant to be resting BUT apparently it's too much of a challenge so he's called me on the house phone to say he can't find any. I really should know by now that I need to send him out with option B & C! That and unplug the phone

Oh my life pear that's so man-typical. It's like they are completely unable to think for themselves and need constant directions. Infuriating.

Frus !

Your amazing frus, I don't know how you do it! or how you persuaded dh to have another
The cold thing would piss me off FFs a little cough, you'd be off all the time!
Pear my dh phones me everytime he goes to the supermarket with a list, every bloody time without fail!!

Well done for choosing childcare. One burden off your shoulder now Frus!

Just wondering. Has anyone lost a friend so called friend since having a baby? I've lost my bf Miss her loads but since baby pear has arrived she's slipping further and further away as she isn't interested in visiting and visiting her is hard impossible for me because she lives 1.5hours away in the car. She doesn't get breastfeeding and has recently said "if baby Pear can't except bottles yet it's best we wait to meet up when he isn't so reliant on you" Made me feel I love breastfeeding but now have started to feel that friends can't except that I want to continue because it 'ties' me down Their expressed feelings just make me want to lock myself in my house and keep baby Pear safe and happy!

Oh pear and Hugs for you. Yes, I've been in your shoes and have drifted away from several good friends since having children. Either I've gotten a better view of how they view the world (and it's nothing similar to how I now feel) or our parenting philosophies are drastically different and it's just hard to keep hanging out with them. Your friend definitely does not know what the F she's talking about. Why isn't she coming to see you since she's not "tied down"? Shouldn't she be supportive of this incredibly short duration of your life where you'll be feeding a sweet tiny child? It's only another 6 months before baby pear will be eating most of his meals and milk will become the supplement. But then again... it doesn't sound like she would understand a simple fact like that. I promise, you will meet many other like-minded mamas through your mothering journey.

Hooray Frus great news on the childcare front! (I'm trying to figure out what the F am I going to do when I am on-call for 4 births coming up in April....)

You ARE amazing frus and you are so strong. And praise Jesus for caffeine.

Pear I've not lost bf but don't see them as much a real friend will stick with you regardless though although mine in a similar situation had a baby at the same time and lives in London so just meeting up isn't an option easily accomplished but she recently came and stayed with me, but our dd have just met and they are 2 we had to conduct our friendship Over the phone but I have met other friends when having tiger and one is now a best friend and is kittens god mum, it is hard but friendships do change and adapt as we meet different stages in life. It is hard but some of my friends have struggled with the bf bit and why I wouldn't go away for a few days with them and non of them bf but it wasn't just that, they may be happy leaving their babies but I wasn't! I'm happy for a night out etc but just not into leaving them for a whole wkend.
Agree with bring though if she's no ties it's rediculous she hasn't come to you and is instead making you feel guilty over what is very short lived, she's not showing herself in a good light when you need support at this new journey your on, could you tell her how she's upset you abit or you feel your drifting apart and that upsets you, can you help her visit you for example?

Thanks for your supporting words I didn't realise this problem was so common. I guess I thought I had a really strong friendship with her so I didn't see it coming at all. I have thought about calling her and asking her outright but I am scared because I am feeling very hormonal (not helped by being poorly) and I don't want to make things worse. Perhaps I should give it a couple of weeks calling time and then call her in the new year. She had a house party last weekend that I couldn't make and she's upset about that too. She didn't give me much notice and even if I had been able to go It still would have been a really tough journey for baby pear as on the same day he had a car meltdown anyway. I think I'm about to loose my other good friend too as she said when I was on maternity that she would struggle with if I became a SAHM. I've got good friends haven't I

Ahh pear it must be hard if your one of the first having kids, I think yes wait a few weeks into the new year and call explaining how much she means to you but that with a tiny baby it is just impossible to lead the same kind of lifestyle, frus is right its kids in general that alter everything not how you feed them!
Maybe try to accept that until she has children she will never understand but that when she does if you've kept communication open she will probably contact you realising exactly what it's like, we lost a friend completely for a few years because she had two only one year apart and it was all she could do to get through each day I think, now she's back to joining us and understands my position saying no to things, it's great to meet other mums in the same situation as you though for the short or long term to meet up at kiddy things and moan about too

It is super common stepping into the parenting realm. I'm sorry you're going through this, especially when you're feeling poorly and it sounds like baby pear isn't sleeping all too well (which is when you need your friends the most!). Isn't is weird to look back at our old pre-children lives and realize how bloody selfish we were? Oh to have had that knowledge of how fucking great I had it before I had children.... They will come around eventually.

Do you have any mum friends? I hate suggesting mum and baby groups or heading to the playground or something because I used to bristle when someone would suggest that to me but I do have to admit that I've met some sweet people that way now that the boys are older.

Go for the car expressing frus! I know lots of mamas that I've helped with births who express during their commute. You can find an adapter for the car charger and you could make some sort of apron or a hooter hider to keep yourself covered. There is THIS too (although it reminds me of the Fembots from Austin Powers for some reason.... )

frus I think you're amazing.

pear sorry to hear you're having a tough time with your friend. I can sympathise a bit. It's hard feeling so left out of my friendship group. Most are in serious relationships but of the bunch of girls I used to go out with none are married yet, let alone have kids! I've been drifting away a bit since I met DH five 1/2 years ago, as I'm just not as up for being out very weekend on the piss anymore. Now that I have dc it's just not an option at the moment.

My best friend who I know from Uni back in Ireland, turned 40 last week and so did her DP. They had a massive weekend away party in a big house and it just feels wrong that I wasn't there, but I couldn't even go for one night since I'm bf-zing. All of our friends were there and I missed it. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't swap DS for anything but it's a hard adjustment. My best friend doesn't want kids and barely tolerates them. She can never remember the names of her nieces and nephews. I don't know how sympathetic she'll be to my changing circumstances going forwards.

Frus ~ I have the single electric pump and it is really good. I've got nothing to compare it to but I would highly recommend it as I've never had any problems with it. I can't imagine pumping while driving! Are you joking? Not sure The pump is useless to me now as I only have enough to feed baby pear and nothing more. I'm wondering whether I could pump anything off at night when he drops the night feed. He's been waking up for the dream feed but he hardly takes anything. I hope it gives me an opportunity to pump as it would be good to stock up for a few days worth in case I need to go out. Might also be the answer for leaving pear so I can go out with DH or see my friend so called friend

Talking about friends. Everything you've all said makes total sense. I have cheered myself up by wrapping baby pears Christmas presents I am a lot happier now! Especially as I sat back looking at his stocking and thinking we as in me and all of you are so blessed to have bouncing happy babies. Nothing else really matters does it

Pumping whilst driving would be a Christmas miracle ahh imagine how annoyed you would feel if a full bottle tipped over when doing a EM break!

Bring ~ I have made some mummy friends but it's hard work and no way the same as my friendships before DS arrived. Getting to know someone over screams, nappy changes and feeds is a new challenge to me! I imagine it gets easier with practise Some mums I meet actually ask my name which is nice. I think it really shows a good character when someone asks your name and not just your dc name!

Kitty ~ the other friend I was talking about has a 2.5 year old. I think just the sheer idea of me not having to return to work when she currently works annoys her. I don't judge people by what they do. I think everyone has the right to choose to SAH if they're fortunate enough to be in the position or if they have to work they work (or want a career). Surely you just do the right thing for you and your family. Jealousy is horrible when it effects friendship

Just to clarify I haven't actually decided whether I'll be a SAHM yet! If it happens it will be short-term.

It is absolutely hard work trying to connect a deeper level when you've got a young one. I so 100% remember being in a foreign country with no friends when DS1 was born and feeling so lost because of the feeling of superficial connections with people and really missing my actual-knows-everything-about-me friends from back home. I can whole-heartedly say that I've been in your shoes and it is hard. I hope your DH has been someone that you can lean on and lend a listening ear (even though he probably can't sympathise that much as guys are friends as soon as they look at each other ). It gets frustrating when you just want to have a conversation with someone and it feels like you both have your heads on swivels and never manage to get through a full sentence.... just wait until they start moving. Then any sense of conversation goes out the window as you're constantly chasing after them!

Yikes pear that sounds really hard to deal with having a friend who is jealous of your current position. Besides, isn't maternity leave just now coming to an end for you all?

Superficial connections is a very good way of describing it bring

Still a few months left for those taking a year off. Frus do you need to go back sooner?