November 2012 - The first fearless steps and the rest of us hoping our babies remain stationary for a bit longer

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1833979-November-2012-Teeth-Dont-talk-to-us-about-teeth

kirrin No, not nice at all. It's full of algae and gross looking. I think I'll be getting rid. We can have a pool party of the paddling variety though Don't beat yourself up about plonking DD in front of peppa pig. She probably loved it!

I need to go to bed now. apple I hope you get some sleep. Please check in tomorrow and let us know how you are x

izzy Good luck for tonight. I'm hoping that no news is good news!

apple. Lovely. Listen. Even little newbies behave better for other people. DD1 is THRIVING at nursery. LO is far easier there than I ever knew her to be, IN SPITE OF the nightmare settling in period.

They ARE easier with others. It's a son of a bitch rule to make us feel inadequate. But when I went through this feeling of inadequacy with the DD1 who was angelic with her CM and an absolute PITA with me someone reminded me of a Very Important Matter:

With mummy they are themselves. The tears they haven't shed during the day are rolled out for us. Because they CAN

The naughtiness is saved for us because they can.

But the sweetest giggles, and the hysterical laughter are also saved for us.

My babies love nursery. But the mad moments, for better or for worse, are with me.

Don't ever EVER think you are not as good as whoever looks after them during the day. You are what they really need, and want. Any good stuff when you are not there is a fabulous bonus. We need them to be happy when we aren't there. But yes, we get the bad stuff when we are with them because only with us they can let it all out.

Might be being French again here, but it is a compliment.

All those months I was wishing my two to be at nursery it was, perhaps selfishly, to remind me of that. But I'd been through it all with DD1, I remember: time away is great, but time with us is Them.

Not sure that makes sense. Point is, you're not a crap mum.

Remember when you went to friends' houses after school, on your best behaviour? But you'd go home and rant because you could?

Voila!

And get yourself to the sodding GP. Asap. That is an order on behalf of the Quiche :)

Seconded Apple - straight to GP. Even A&E if things get really desperate. There is help and support for you out there (and on here). You are a brilliant mum and you will get through this but asking for help is vital.

Sending love xx

Run out of paracetamol for my headaches. DH gives me a pill, says it's fine. No NSAID. check on google it fucking contains aspirine. Is he trying to kill me? I believe not. But bloody hell if you're going to give your wife one of your migraine pills check she isn't going to freaking well die from it.

Should I start a great old LTB thread? :o

Ok, I know just one probably wouldn't have killed me. But didn't my little trip to the icu and the massive scars on my abdomen teach him anything? I didn't take it. I never do if it's not plain paracetamol or prescribed. But ugh!

Ugh!!!

Tonight started well with operation bedtime. He cried for less than ten mins total and slept for 2hrs50minutes. DH put him to bed, kept having to tell him what to do etc and timings and the phrase were using... Argh, just listen! J is sounding very angry ok the monitor, think Dh must be due to go in soon!

It's not going well.... Still screaming.....

izzy we just had a wake up. It's 1am, I was still awake anyway. She was definitely in pain so got a nurofen dose and a 2oz bottle (she had paracetamol about 5 hours go). Real tears, very hard, fed back to sleep, naughty us, but oh, I remember my wisdom tooth pain. Teeth are an absolute bitch.

See you all in about, ugh, 5 and a bit hours. Kew I should have popped a sleeper tonight. DH would have dealt with it.

God he's so so angry and upset sounding... I honestly don't think there's anything physically wrong though bit am starting to doubt myself. He wasn't this loud and angry last night :-(

I'm here Izzy.

Remember, it takes time. Also, babies will be different for their mum and different again for their dad.

He's just screwed solidly for 15 minutes

He never had to cry that long last night, the longest he cried was about 7 minutes.... I don't think I can do this but if I go in and get him how I haven't actually helped anything have I?

Still screaming...Im worried he's not going to stop

Onto the 3rd set of 15mins and he is not calming down at all.... I don't think I can take much more. This seems so cruel

Would you feel better doing it yourself than DH doing it? It might be better for one person to implement it to start maybe?

Just keep doing what you are doing x

Is it worth giving calpol just in case this is pain?

I honestly don't know what to do. He is still screaming I don't think it's pain although now he may have a sore throat! I don't want to give in as I feel that may be even crueller but this is torture for all of us. I'm surprised DD hasn't woken!

Izzy he might be outraged that both you and DH are on the same hymn sheet and is pissed off because he thought last night was a one off? Jonas would be. I reckon he'd be crosser on night two. I think if you go in now it would make things worse as he'd learn to keep screaming and eventually someone will come whereas you want him to realise screaming is a waste of energy for him.

Apple I'd have throttled the bugger. You're worrying me though lovely - go and get medical help. As someone without her Mum, indeed at 34 I've spent half of my life without her I can wholeheartedly say C will be far better with you and devastated without you. Without you there will be a hole he can't fill and a sadness that never goes away. You mean the world to him.

Kyz lovely to see you back .

Huge hugs apple. Just get through tonight - then tomorrow call your mum and get that appt with the Gp. You are not failing. C does need you. Hope you have made it back to sleep.

Izzy - hope you are asleep to now - sounds horrible.

Apple mine would have got the "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" and an earful once I'd got R down. How dare he interfere and undermine you like that?! plus what ginger said

Izzy 2nd and 3rd nights were hardest here. He's realising you mean business. You're giving him what he needs not what he wants

YW

R did 5:40-12:00-5. I need to get him going down at 6 but he's so over tired it becomes an unnecessary battle and means he's more wakeful

Izzy I hope you all got some sleep in the end.

I hope this doesn't sound trite but in all those Supernanny type programmes the rules always work initially, then there's resistance as children realise they are permanent and things always get a bit worse before they accept it & things start to resolve.

I realise it's a programme and edited for narrative effect but I think that does hold true in real situations. Hang on in there and hopefully by next week there will be a real (and permanent) improvement.

Apple still thinking of you xx

Oh apple . I've been there. I completely understand. Please go to the GP. As evidenced yesterday, I cannot get by without antidepressants. C needs you.

izzy you are doing so well. I agree that the second night is likely to be harder than the first but you are already making improvements so keep going xx

Morning quiche. Apple have you phoned the GP? And your mum?

izzy I hope you got some sleep. I got three hours but other than the 1am wakeup I can't blame the children.

Thankful Thursday. There hasn't been one for a while. I'm thankful that LO is finally settling at nursery, I'm thankful that all I can hear right now is the dog snoring and the clock ticking, and I am thankful for the internet.

Oh and my lovely two children and husband of course despite the fact he tried to give me an aspirin

I am thankful for the quiche. For good friends (Lily det peaches in particular) . For O having the most wonderful sense of humour. For O seeming so settled here already. For brightly coloured nail polish. For antidepressants. For a wonderful, kind, lovely man, who I am convinced is either going to become my best friend or my husband.

Ah yes peaches I think a thankful Thursday is needed!

I'm thankful that E has been eating and drinking well for the past 2 weeks. Hoping this leads to a weight gain on Monday.

I'm thankful for DH being a loving father and husband even if he has just buggered off to Spain on a lads golf trip.

I'm thankful for my lovely sis who is bringing my beautiful niece over for lunch today.

I'm thankful to whoever dropped in DD's nursery bag to the school after I'd left it in our local library. And I'm thankful that DD1 has been a dream to settle in nursery.

As as always thankful to the quiche.

izzy you are doing great. You have the full backing and support of the quiche. It may be hard now, and there will still be tough nights to come but you really are doing why is best for J long term, although it may not seem like it now.

apple been thinking of you lots. Hope you taken peaches strict instructions on board x

chasing lovely sentiments about non date gay. Made me smile.