November 2012 - Summertime, and the babies are sleeping (mostly with a few notable exceptions)

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1800961-November-2012-Is-is-too-early-for-birthday-plans

Lol BP! I would love to be so unphased as a vomming baby.

Hugs mm

DH has just tipped a whole glass of red wine on the white rug. Doh!

hehehe Littlepig is a classy bird like what I is

Sophia rebelling through aprons and ironing - brilliant

boak so I ate too much Chinese and feel naaaaaassty.

Last night was the worst night so far. I am terrified of what tonight will hold. Four hours of broken sleep makes it very difficult to cope. FC we will survive the night. DH is in a much worse state than me, he's been calling J all sorts of horrid names and threatening DS1 and DS2. I know it's due to stress and tiredness but I find it quite hard to listen to. Sometimes I think I should write down everything he says in a day but I suspect he would excuse it all as "if only they would 'behave' then I wouldn't have to do it". That doesn't really hold given that one has SN and one is a baby,

www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_storeId_10001_catalogId_10151_productId_933565_langId_-1_categoryId_165763

www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_storeId_10001_catalogId_10151_productId_864287_langId_-1_categoryId_165763#tab3

Or this one??

Stunt I'm a bit worried about you my love. You're one of the strongest most amazeballs ladies I know but you have so much to cope with and it sounds like DH is adding to the load rather than sharing it . I really hope the little guy sleeps well tonight xx

stunt DH is a lot less patient than even me with the girls sometimes, but maybe your idea of writing something down might help? You've reminded me of the lovely izzy . Has someone PM'd her to see how she is?

pig :o

PR team haggis is hopefully meeting up including Izzy next week. Will send quiche love and

Right it's o'clock. A sated bear with a big fat belly full of milk is snoring in the cot. Let's see how he goes tonight. We've discovered he will happily take the pharmacy's own brand of calpol off a spoon - so fingers crossed his teef don't wake him.

Good. Give her masses of love and tell her that she is very much missed.

Enjoy your yw

I am so freakin' sweaty. It's unbearable!

Thanks pidj that's a really good price I think for the Britax. I wanted a Britax for DP's car. I've ordered it and got the last one at my local store! There wasn't another for miles around! I'm now going to go and look if it will fit his car and check the price elsewhere to make sure it is a good deal. :)

BP There's nothing O loves more than a good bodily fluid exploration .

YW I found that O will take paracetomol on the spoon too. Tried him again yesterday, and he was good with it. :) Mind you he's easy now he likes the taste! No syringing nightmares here at the moment! Thank fuck!

Stunt Sorry, but DH is being a prize twat :( I am TERRIBLE in the really bad nights, as in I have a very short fuse. I grumble, whinge and moan through the shitty nights, stomping around. But I could never call O horrid names even when my brain is thinking them. I could easily lose my temper, I'm totally shit with no/very little sleep. He needs to know that it isn't normal to say those things outloud. Can you perhaps (I don't know if you have tried this - probably) write like you do here, and show him? Show him how this is affecting you, and the potential effects on the children?

Speaking of sleep. We need to sort out the early mornings. And the rocking to sleep. But right now I'd settle for aiming for 7.30-7 with a feed at some point if needed. I can't start the day at stupid oclock!

PP there are some really good deals at the moment on car seats. The one you linked to yesterday is no longer made and I could find nothing online about when to put ff and no downloadable directions or anything. The customer reviews seem good in as much as baby is comfy but several were ff earlier than 9 months which seemed odd. Bit small apparently.

PR there has been contact with Izzy and she knows she is missed. She will be back in time

Stunt I am so sorry x

I have had some big realisations about my DH since J was born. It's like that optical illusion with the young and the old woman, once you see it you can't unsee it iykwim. His dad is a narcissist and emotionally abused my MIL and the children. His mum was neglected as a child herself and I suspect she doesn't have a good template of how to look after children. Examples would be letting them stay up late and having them sleep in bare pillows and duvet - no pillowcases or duvet covers. Having come to that realisation now a lot of DH's behaviour makes sense. He would never say it's bath night or change the boys' sheets or make them bring coats when they go out, which is where I see the neglect. When they misbehave he acts as if they were doing it specifically to annoy him, the narcissism, and he tends to use emotionally abusive language - "you little shit", "why are you behaving like a baby?", "are you stupid or something?"

It seems strange to me that he is copying his parents who are copying his own parents. My MIL is extremely bitter about her mum not helping her out with her children, but she has told me that she will not do anything to help me out with mine. I was only asking her to come round and play with J for an hour so I could do some housework, it's not like I was asking her to take all three for the night or anything. I feel that in my family we try to make up for the failures of the previous generation. My grandma worked full time and had 11 children so she never has much time for them so my mum always made an effort to take us out and do things with us. My parents never had money for school trips etc so I have made sure my boys have some savings set aside for big expenditures. Okay I'm sure we make our own mistakes along the way but to my mind, and upbringing, you try to learn from your parents, not blindly copy them.

Tbh I think he needs some counselling. He point blank refuses to believe that he was abused and is always able to justify his behaviour, in his own mind anyway. I know I screw things up with my kids but I think being able to recognise your mistakes and try to improve is the best we can hope to achieve. There aren't any perfect parents, if there were then their children would end up screwed up anyway because they'd have an impossible parenting ideal to live up to!

Like MM I'm considering the future of my relationship. I want to make it work and I'll give it the time and effort. At least until we're both getting proper sleep again. But then I worry about the damage being done by all the name calling and the threats of violence or to take away their possessions. It's a difficult position to be in.

Hi just wanted to say hello. Have been lurking on and off for last couple weeks. I am mum to O who was born 6/11/12. Unfortunately found out this week she has a dislocated hip which will need surgery.

Yay! It fits, and it's a very very good price pidg. It fits in both cars, so that's good. Obviously will need to try it in there and make sure, but so far so good! £50 was my budget for the second seat. Also, DP's car doesn't have isofix, and this seat isn't isofix, so that doesn't matter here.

Still not decided on the other seat yet. Leaning towards a Kiddy one. But not sure how on earth they work?! Anyone know!

If they don't have the seat in stock tomorrow after I reserved it the better or I'll be kicking some ass! then Winstanleys price match, so I'll be going there, as they have it in stock. And I can try the ERF/Kiddy etc in my car at the same time to make a decision!

Evening all, another busy one here so haven't read anything until now! Had to go shopping earlier, bought a mammoth amount to do purees/recipes with, chopped up stuff earlier only to find I haven't chopped all of the ingredients for any one thing and now i can't be arsed. It's all sealed and will be fine till tomorrow so tomorrow it is!

Kirrin your Thursday sounded very busy and horrible, hope the results for dd1 come back clear, and also I bet you were really upset, bless you :( That must've been awful but there's no lasting damage and she is fine like you said. Accidents do happen and I bet we'll all be made to feel similar at some point over the years of our LOs growing up.

mm hope you can sort things with dp one way or the other :( I was thinking the other day you haven't said he's been up to too much arselike behaviour and that it must be good then. :( So sorry to read you've had a shitty night and you are not a mug in the slightest.

what a cheeky little miss bry :) very resourceful as you said, I love it when kids do things like that, even though you shouldn't, but it's brilliant really that they work out their own little ways like that :)

hugs sophia

pr the pharmacist must feel a twat. and is a twat for being so inconsiderate. If it helps make you feel better I look quite pregnant again :( I haven't had a period... i could be pregnant... i'm betting it's just chocolate though!!!

aww det that's lovely :)

Glad you've had a good day from dd1 pr :) Actually it sounds like a few people have had luffly days today, fruit yours sounded a good one too :) and you bplp

That's shit re the seat vq I want a new carseat but do not neeeed one therefore am not able to get one just yet :( I like the look of these maxi cosi thingies but i wouldn't know which to get.

LOL BPLP how very ladylike of F! That reminds me, i gave e grapes this morning. They are a choking hazard whole so i was fluttering about the fact i'd given him halves. He had 2 halves fine and gagged on the 3rd, he kept gagging then breathing then coughing then gagging for what felt like forever but wasn't, then he vommed it back with a tiny bit of milky stuff, and flapped like a good un trying to stop me stealing back the grim grape half. He wanted to eat it again! Ew!

oh evil poor n :(

stunt it sounds like it's all alot of hard work at the minute :( My dp often has a foul mouth on him but I would not be happy with him being that way with E. having said that it sounds like both you and your dh are really suffering atm, with sleep deprivation/looking after the boys (not that you're suffering from looking after them but that it's made worse with sleep deprivation). I do think writing it down could help maybe. I have sat at the end of the day with my dp and highlighted the nasty things he's said (usually muttered when driving and not directed at anyone but he can be really, i don't know, unplesant) and usually talking helps and he's then been calmer/calmed down and nowadays since e he has tried really hard to not have bad road rage etc with e around. I don't know, I really feel for you and even your dh with the lack of sleep etc, it must be so tough, but I don't think there's an excuse for him calling J horrible names and being threatening to the other boys. It must be a very difficult time for you both :(

I do hope izzy is ok i've really missed her

Hey tri welcome to the quiche - sorry to hear about your lo's hip :(

It's pissing it down here, LOVELY!

stunt that all sounds very difficult. It is hard when neither of you are getting enough sleep, the boys are probably picking upon your stresses which most prob isn't helping their behaviours either. Try to both be kind to yourselves, concentration getting Some rest and then focus on you two. Sounds like you made inroads while you were on Hols the other week, try to draw on that. Xx

mm at the neighbours.have been there myself! I hope you can pick up where you left off. I might be wrong but from what I read I get the impression that you and DP are very similar, you are both strong people and you obviously have alotof passion for each other. Some couples do seem to thrive on a regularly big ding dong, and if that is you then go with it but you need to make sure it doesn't affect M. My mum and dad used to have a big row every so often and mum always said it was good because it meant that one person wasn't being walked over all the time. I think we all need to find the balance that is right for us. Have you looked into some counselling yet? Might be an idea, put all the past stuff away and look to the future with your lovely daughter. Xx

In bed watching the rain with the windows wide open. Love it.

Welcome tri that sounds stressful are they reasonably positive it is sortable? Stupid question but had it always been like that?

Oh and hi 5 to little pig that is class!

Welcome Tri

Sophia it feels great knowing you do not need to worry about getting pregnant again doesn't it or take the sodding pill or have a coil or anything. Wonderful

Kyz am v proud of you for giving grapes and how your calm attitude has ensured a calm E - happy to nom on coughed up grapes. Jonas too loves a bit of regurgitated food

Oh the no contraception thing kicks serious arse :o

stunt I'd say more but it's late and am clocking off soon. I see similarities with my upbringing but won't go into it on here. And DH's.

Welcome tri how do you feel about the op?

I often chew up bits first and give them to O. Like babybird... Well done kyz. Babies do some minging things don't they!

O managed to get a poo finger in his mouth tonight despite 3 of us holding him down little bloody octopus. The toothbrush was then put to good use. And miltoned after....

Can anyone suggest how to stop O stealing food? Well, attempting to steal food. He isn't very stealth . More ummm, 'gimme food now grab grab grab--.

If I was YW I'd be fine. He could have food on my plate! But as he is avoiding all dairy, and tomato, plus I eat soya in the form of Quorn etc, then really, he's fucked!

I do save him appropriate bits, but he's not that interested. He wants what I am having. Me. Not DP, DS1, or the dog. But me. Trying to be flattered. But failing.

I could put him in the highchair every time we I eat, but that doesn't go down well at all.

It isn't just meals though. Snacks and drinks included .

Welcome Tri. How did that happen? Was it not picked up at birth? Or has it subsequently developed?

Stunt you always sound the epitome of reason. Your DH is fucking lucky. He needs know this. Grrrrr. I'd have done some very bad things to him long before now. I understand where you are coming from in terms of learning from parents mistakes. :)

You guys are awesome - you have really helped me feel a bit better about breaking my daughter.
And she fell asleep on me today on the sofa and she hasn't done that for over a year, so I just got to sit and cuddle her for nearly an hour - bliss :)

PR That pharmacist must be blind or something. Not to mention daft for even asking. I would only ask if someone was pregnant if they were actually in labour in front of me.

Stunt I have everything crossed that you get some sleep tonight. FWIW i think recording what your DH says to the kids isn't a bad idea, so long as you don't give it to him in anger - it may give a jolt and make him pay more attention to what he is saying. My DP has been known make out that I am a crazy fool when I point out something he is doing that isn't right, and then it becomes clear over the next week or so that he has in fact taken on board what I have said, and is quietly amending his behaviour. Hell would freeze over before he'd admit it though.

welcome tri :)

Glad some of you are in touch with Izzy so we know how she's doing. Please pass on my best wishes.

Aw yw thankyou so much :) I have noticed myself giving e the foods I know he can manage and nothing new or that he's had an issue with so i'm hoping to try and give more finger foods again. I esp need to be giving him fruit to eat himself, I haven't for a couple of weeks until the grapes. He has fruit in his mesh feeder, he loves mango but that made him vom months ago and I haven't given it since unless in the mesh thing. Got some apples and pears today too to stew in the microwave for him. It seems to be slippery food he gags on, he chews meat and bread based things and peas and sweetcorn etc but gags on banana, melon, mango etc.

Ooh also he has tried chicken and apple balls from the blw book and LOVES them, and cornflake chicken from ak went down really well too! So he is recommending those to other quichelets :)

I have lots of pureeing to do. Lots.