March 2013 - still too sleep deprived to think of a funky title

[StormyBrid]

Old thread here.

We seemed to be running out of space (again) so I made us a new thread.

Yep, Leni, still got two stone of cake baby weight to shift here. I have admitted defeat and got my old bigger jeans out, the ones I got back into less than a fortnight postpartum are a bit tight. On the plus side, with the man at work, I'm doing the shopping, and so there will be a hell of a lot less biscuits in the house, which has to help.

Stormy I wish I'd been on the biscuits, at least then I'd have a reason! I've totally lost my sweet tooth, I never eat chocolate, struggle with cake and biscuits too. I like my vino but not enough to make up for missing lunch almost every day.

I thought maybe BFing had delayed the weight coming off but I stopped the a month ago

Oh well. Might just give up mirrors! God knows what I'll wear to work though

Research is indeed a funny old world. Like statistics. I still think it is cr*p though that baby food is so sweet. I've nothing against jars and pouches, but coming from a family with diabetes on both sides, and personally suffering from insulin resistance I'm going to err on the side of obsessive caution and feed the tiddler boring old tasteless muck made by me.... and she will enjoy it!!! This mood may not last, but having just had a very positive reaction to some avocado mush I'd say I might be onto something. Give me a week

Plonky just gone up a teat size, which may be part of the issue. She's probably just adjusting. Lunch time was better, which cheered me up.

Stormy as for what food is good, well the answer to that is anything natural that you'd eat yourself, avoiding processed foods, and anything with added salt. People have different views on when to introduce things, but the guide I have suggests:

6-7 months, all food cooked and pureed:
cereals - baby rice only at first
Veg - carrots first, then other root veg, green veg such as courgettes, beans, peas, brocolli, fruit veg such as tomatoes
Fruit - cooked apples and pears first, then move on to a wider range. Acidic fruitss such as oranges and pineapples should be avoided in early stage
eggs - leave until after 8 months (some say 12 months)
White meats without skin - chicken turkey
Red meats without fat - beef veal lamb offal
Dairy avoid until later, although yoghurt can be tolerated
Fish - not yet
Finger foods - raw or cooked apple, carrots, fingers of baked bread

Obviously that is a fairly old fashioned conservative guide, but it is quite a handy crib sheet

Leni and Stormy good luck with the fitness drive. My tuppence worth.... eat lunch!!! If you don't you'll feel lethargic so won't be as active, will slow your metabolism down, and will tend to eat larger portions later or snack more. Well that's what the books say anyway.

The worselet crawled !!!! A proper hands and knees effort of one step. The attempted feet and hands version was less successful, and very funny.

Well done the worselet!

Stormy madam here has had pasta, bread, eggs (scrambled and omelette, pretty sure the guidance is 6m now), veg and fruit, sandwiches, bits of stews and soups. Literally anything we have that isn't too salty or spicy.

We're still using a fair few pouches here and will continue too as long as she's having plenty of savoury bits too and not all sweet. Everything in moderation and all that. I have made a purée today, celeriac and apple, it's also the base of a soup for me so fingers crossed she likes it!

It's a horrible grey day here but mini-Yo has been wearing the cutest yellow hoodie, I'm loving the winter wardrobe!

Now I'm on my phone and can't remember what everyone else has said so I'm off to make fajitas and I'll try again on a proper computer later!

We're basically going with feeding tiddler anything and everything, with the exception of honey, whole nuts, and salty stuff. I am trying to delay the moment she realises that chocolate is delicious, and i try to make sure every meal has a veg, not for nutrition's sake but for good habit forming. Have yet to perfect just giving her what we're having though, we can't eat at the same time as her apart from breakfast. All flavours have gone down well so far, and she particularly likes anything green. Penne pasta went down well the other day, she was enjoying sucking tuna cheesy tomatoey goodness through the tubes! And if the whole bits of tomato skin in this mornings nappy is anything to go by, more and more is getting swallowed! The only things she hasn't liked yet are things that are too 'bitty', like minced beef, oats, etc.

Worse- I shall have to start thinking about baby-proofing our living room for your visit! Crawling scares me, I feel life will suddenly get complicated. Mini-v is a rolling pro now, and I'm happy for her to stay like that til she understands the word 'no'!

Tonight, a week of doing absolutely everything has caught up with me. It probably doesn't help when I think of 3 more weeks of exclusively lugging around a 16lb baby and doing all nappies/bath times etc. DH is managing to do more but a friend of his today went on and on about the importance of resting. I wish someone would nag me about resting. Anyway tonight I've decided: the washing can stay in the basket, the kitchen can stay messy, DH can surely manage the bottles, and I am not moving off the sofa until 10pm, when I'm going to bring the dream feed forward an hour and get an early night. Then tomorrow I will be ready for it all to start again!!

Come on the Worselet! That's awesome, but are you secretly terrified?

SoYo the winter wardrobe is good innit. You've just reminded me though, I need to get hold of a proper coat for the Babysaurus.

Vj I think when your DH is better you deserve to be treated to a slap up dinner. Baby plus husband on the mend sounds really tough. I do hope your wine rack's well stocked.

That beeb articles obviously given me a boot up the arse, as I've made two purées today. A dechunked minestrone, and bolognaise sauce all puréed up - the latter met with firm approval from ds. He's been a hungry boy today, so far having eaten yoghurt with mango, apple and pear purée, a small biscuit, a few fingers of bread (admittedly this mostly ended up on the cat floor), a wee bit of minestrone, some banana, chicken risotto (pouch based) and a few spoons of bolognaise! This in addition to 4x6 flozzes...

Anyone still sterilising? I have abandoned mine and I feel SO liberated.

Plonky Terrified? I'm sh*tting myself. We have far too many stairs, some of which are specifically designed for the purpose of breaking someone's neck (or so it seems), and the garden is like something out of a 'how not to do it' child safety manual. Fortunately her current range is approx 2 inches, after which she needs a nap. Long may that last.

VJ you have my sympathy. Lots of sympathy. It's tough running solo, and that's without extra nursing duties on top. Don't you dare tidy up for the worselet. She's very fond of mess, and I'm programmed not to notice it

Oh you people and your excellent culinary ranges. I am most envious. For me that is.... I don't eat that well! I'm going to have to start making an effort aren't I?! I reckon I have a bit of time though, what with the tiddler regarding anything non-milk based with an air of distrust.

Crossing my fingers for an easy night tonight. I am tentatively hoping the wonder week trauma may be over, as dd has been her usual happy self since lunch, and I really need some sleep. DH has been working on some crazy deal thing for the past fortnight, so on the rare hours he is home he is clued to a spreadsheet, and hasn't been able to do any baby stuff. I was holding out for some help at the weekend, but no.... It's exhausting, and I have the added stress of watching him work his way towards a heart attack. Time for that 'downsizing' conversation again perhaps...

Ah, nap time has ended, so bottle then bed.

No posts overnight? Does this mean everyone slept?

Also, go worselet go! Time to invest in a cage?

worse I don't think DD agrees with your weaning guide. Yesterday she helped me eat a banana, had a nibble on some pork, and the two of us and the neurotic cat shared a cheese and tuna omelette. So far, inasmuch as she likes anything, she likes bread, meat, eggs, and bananas. Foliage is generally met with disdain. This morning she ate three cheerios. Does this make me a bad mummy? She was trying to climb up my leg to get at them.

Leni possibly your various issues (did you get the bloods done yet, and if so when are results due?) are linked to not losing weight? I'm no expert on these things, but there could maybe be an underlying issue causing it all? If so then at least you've only got one thing to fix and then everything else should fall into place.

Our garden should be semi-child-friendly by next summer (doubt we'll be out there again until then, it's hot but soggy out there). We've got the front all dug over and flattened ready to lay turf, so we should have a lawn! This is a very rare thing for these old terraced houses. Before, the garden had two "raised flowerbeds" full of weeds, which caused my mate's fourteen month old some trouble, and there was a lump of concrete with metal sticking out from the original wall, which had to come out too on the grounds that it would probably result in a cracked skull sooner or later. Now we just need to sort my brother's side of the garden (currently a dumping ground for random bits of wood) and teach the baby that grabbing brambles ends badly.

Yesterday I got my friend with the aforementioned four month old to clean my bathroom (including toilet). Payment was eight cans of Carlsberg, total price £6 plus the cost of a pair of rubber gloves. Do I get to feel all smug and middle class and cleaner-employing?

Crawling congrats Worse!! I did post that yesterday but it got eaten yet again

I checked my Hipp jars - listed ingredients are literally just the veg or fruit so is that not to be believed? I only give the non-pudding ones, and they taste really plain to me...

DS is constantly doing a sort of backwards exclamation noise where he sucks in air very quickly making a sort of loud squeak. Either that or rolling whilst doing a pained sounding shout that he draws out for as long as possible.

Last night OH and I had yet another disagreement and I asked him if he genuinely meant he wanted to split up. He said that if we split he'd go for full custody of DS because I'm 'a drunk and an addict'. Lovely. He knows I take pain meds for my back (OTC not even full strength) and I'm definitely not a drunk, I'd never be able to cope with doing everything for all of us 24/7 if I were hungover! I've struggled with coordination and speech since this weird tingling stuff started and he's accused me of being drunk then too. I'm so angry that he'd even say that, especially considering he's said more than once that he didn't even want DS and he's never looked after him alone for more than three hours. I took my engagement ring off because I was so hurt. This was all after I'd cooked him a swanky swordfish with celeriac remoulade (which I'd also paid for).

Big un-MN hugs needed today.

I think my inability to lose weight is partially because physical exercise has got harder, should get results tomorrow from the bloods.

Leni, upon reading that all I can say is this - fucking hell. (I know this install sweaty thread, but it's literally all I can think of) erm....I really don't know what to say but didn't want to read and run. Perhaps some time apart? Can he stay at a friends for a few days? It sounds like you both need space. And he'd never get full custody, any number of doctors could back you up, plus you're the one who actually knows how to look after your soon. Massive bear hugs.

Goodness me leni. Your OH sounds like a complete twt. You need to get your health sorted before you can settle the 'drunk & addict' arguement as I think he'll need evidence that there's something wrong before he believes you. I'm really that you're having to deal with that along with all the stuff motherhood is throwing at all of us. If he's resorting to cheap remarks though, keep your head held high and know that he's talking bollocs and if he wants out, you and bubs will be better off without his negativity.

Big hugs, Leni, and I'm daydreaming about giving him a good kick in the balls for you. When if you do split, be reassured that he's extremely unlikely to get full custody, as there's no reason you're not fit to parent (as evidenced by you doing all the parenting these past six months). He could try for shared care, but given his track record with DS he may well be all mouth on that one - it's a very effective threat to stop you sticking up for yourself and kicking you out, but that doesn't mean the reality of it is actually what he wants. Also, can I suggest not cooking him any more posh dinners?

(Plonky is this really not a sweary thread? No-one told me that!)

Stormy I'm amazed you managed to understand my mistyped drivel. Well its not very sweary is it? i mean beyond you and i, everyone else only swears when theyve reached their limit.
Nice one on the garden too, were currently embarrassing the whole street with our scruffy overgrown compost heap wildflower nature reserve. I don't intend to live here after Easter (head firmly in the sand). I think I'm too stingy for paying a cleaner. They'd get a shot of rum for their trouble and be on their merry way!

Leni also agree with you on the hipp pouches. Clearly if you're giving LO strawberry cheesecake you're onto growing a child with a sweet tooth.

leni I too can't think of anything other than a whole load of expletives but just wanted to offer you the biggest of hugs. I'm so sorry that you're having to go through all this. I second the few days space idea. You really need to get your health in check before dealing with all this too. Is there anyone in RL that you've been talking to (or can talk to?) We're all here for you on here but I think it'd really help to have an actual someone

stormy not related to any Graves I don't think. Although, you never know!

worse hooray crawling Worselet! I too have a little attempting crawler, well it's more of a commando shuffle but it gets him from one side of the room to the other and does an excellent job of tiring him out

Big hugs Leni, I too think some time apart is what you need. You also need to get your hands on as much as possible about his finances, yours and the joint ones so you're as protected as possible if you split. Maybe get some impartial financial advice too?

The full custody statement is a common idle threat, he knows full well that would never happen as he knows deep down he's never cared for him on his own, wouldn't have a clue where to start and his lifestyle would take a huge hit.

Good luck with the blood results, if they're normal make sure you go back and see the GP to look into other options, but don't forget that stress can play a huge part in giving very physical symptoms and its sounds like a pretty crappy time all in all at the moment.

Have you talked to anyone in RL about it?

P.S. Stormy the quiet thread overnight was unfortunately not due to sleepy babies. Mini-yo was back to her favourite two-hourly wakes. I've switched to the kindle for overnight entertainment as I seem to be able to get back to sleep better after that rather than MNing.

Probably to do with the type of screen, SoYo. The Kindle's weirdly lit so it doesn't bugger your eyes up, isn't it?

Leni I'll second the suggestion to get documentation of all finances, including proof of his income, because even if you're not together he's got an obligation to support his child, and you don't want to give him chance to play silly buggers with maintenance.

Leni hugs x 100. There are no words rude enough for that man. Well, there probably are but I will claim not to know them. He wouldn't get custody. Courts don't take children away from their mothers just because some disaffected partner slags them off. Everyone else has given great advice, so all I'll add is look after and be kind to yourself. Relationships and legal are good places to post if you need practical advice.

Ah the pouches and stuff, well I admittedly got my knickers in a bit of a knot yesterday. I was just cross. Every bl**dy thing I've bought or been given has been poisonously sweet. I am sure there are proper savoury ones out there. I will pretend there aren't as having just invested in a tiny blender thing I probably ought to use it.

Stormy I think that weaning guide is aimed at the overly paranoid me and conservative babies with an innate suspicion of food the worselet. Mini-storm sounds a much more sensible young lady. I think the only thing we have to be really careful about is salt. Years back I read a tragic story about a baby that died from salt poisoning after being fed too much readybrek. I have no idea if readybrek still has salt in, probably not, but the story stuck with me.

A cage you say? Tempting

Apologies people I've missed off. A small person has decided they need attention. Like now

Thank you all - I had a chat with my little sister last night who found out on her wedding anniversary that her husband has been slyly sending sexy msgs to other women for ages. They're splitting and she's only 26

I always thought he was a dick after we all went out and he got drunk and started abusing her in public so I'm glad he's gone but she's obviously heartbroken.

It seems OH says all these things just to get a rise out of me. He wont leave for even a few days and at the moment I don't think I'd feel ok to look after DS completely alone with how weird i'm feeling physically.

Bloods came back all normal so going back on Monday to see Gp. Strange as it sounds this is actually a fairly stress free time compared to my life as a whole! So whatever it is I don't think it's a stress reaction, it's quite a specific set of symptoms.

I am keen to have some proof for OH though definitely. He was a diagnosed hypochondriac yet he belittles any sort of ill health I have. He is a prize prick a lot of the time but he'll never see it.

Anyone got any tips on keeping potted herbs alive? My basil keeps dying

Leni- more of those hugs and swear words at OH. There's one that is particularly popular with many mumsnetters that I think applies I'm always an optimist so I'm really hoping that he sorts himself out and you live happily ever after. However, it's definitely time to make steps towards protecting yourself, financially and emotionally. What is your situation wrt joint accounts etc? Perhaps seek advice and just make sure you're safe on that front.

After a lovely morning (including seeing the beautiful worselet and her lovely mum, and dd turning on the charm for visitors as ever) the tiddler has decided today is a BAD day, and has been doing that hellish WHINGE she's got so good at recently. Oh, and I can safely say that, whilst baby sick is never nice, banana-y baby sick is even less nice.

Anyone got any good nappy rash advice? Friend of mine has an 8mo who is so sore he's screaming for 15 mins after every nappy change and sometimes only calming with calpol, poor little mite. She's tried only water when wiping, nappy free time, caking him in sudocrem, but he's still struggling. Don't think she's discovered the wonder of MN yet so thought I'd pool our collective experience for her!

Oh. Here goes the whinging again. Sometimes I wish she'd get on with it and just bloody cry already!

Should i feel guilty for having a coffee and shortbread. I think i deserve it. Since 5am ds has only slept 45mins and that was in the car. Finally i bathed him and he fell asleep. My bath trick has worked. Hes now fast asleep and im having a break. I have really bad period pains too. I thought mirena would have helped ease them but it hasnt.

Ok im off to scroll back and catch up on your posts.

VJ The worselet would like to come and stay apparently. Something to do thing better toys . Poor mini-vj. Think I might be whinging after a banana-y sick incident.

Re nappy rash has she tried Drapolene cream? MIL provided me with a box of baby creams and stuff, either because she is nice, or because I am hopeless... best not to examine that too closely, but it did contain a tub of drapolene which is wonderful stuff. Clears up all sorts of sores and rashes, and smells nice. I've never got on with sudocream myself. It's so harsh and drying.

I'm having such an easy afternoon. Bottle drunk in 15 minutes, no messing! Wonder week is officially over.

KFF now I feel bad as you are not having an easy afternoon.

worse congrats on the crawling. This is a brand new chapter for worselet and you.

leni you deserve better. He doesnt appreciate you at all or even spend time with ds. Ditch him hes causing you unnecessary stress. Re custody he can dream on. I work in this field and there is no way a mother and child be seperated on his accusations alone. I dont live too far from you if you need any help please let me know.

something congrats to you too on your commando crawling.

vj sorry i dont have any nappy advice other than you mentioned. Poor baby i never heard nappy rash to be so bad. Has she taken him to gp?

I give ds the fruit pouches as they are a lot smoother than the ones i puree. I gave him a jar of sweet potato and something. I cant remember and it made the spoon orange so it made me really wonder what they actually put in these jars. I dont give them anymore. Ive started a little collection of our meals but mashed/pureed in the freezer.

Ah ive calmed down now following my fix of coffee.