March 2013 - still too sleep deprived to think of a funky title

[StormyBrid]

Old thread here.

We seemed to be running out of space (again) so I made us a new thread.

I hope you can work it out Leni as life really is too short to waste the best years of it being unhappy. I spent the entire of my 30s stuck in a miserable relationship seemingly unable to mend it, or leave it. I wish I'd done one or the other. It was such a waste of my life. DH feels the same. We've mended it now though, which goes to show relationships can be surprisingly resilient.

I second all the financial advice, and please don't pay his tax bills. You can never get that money back. He needs to grow up, and managing his own bills would be a good start.

As for here.... 26 week wonder week. Argghhhhhhhh

Ah worse - Say hello to the frustration and shouting 'why, why, WHY?' a lot. It'll all be good again in about a week and a half - hang in there

Leni I too, like worse

Bugger - doorbell rang and I must have pressed 'post'.

As I was saying, I too, like Worse, had a relationship 'make up or break up' moment. It was while we were both sick of our jobs, not seeing each other much and DH basically not talking to me about anything, bottling up all kinds of crap that he wanted to shout at me about but didn't have the balls so let it fester. We separated for 6 months and went on a date once a week until one night I told him exactly what I wanted and if he didn't, there was no point. We decided to give it another go and from that point, we'

've been brilliant!

Lots of good advice Leni! Maybe lay it all on the line from him and have a list of things you need him to contribute to family life, monetary and otherwise, and then things you're happy for him to do himself like a night out every month or fortnight or something, then give it a set amount of time to change. Whatever you do, don't waste your life. Take it from someone that sees all kinds of shit things happen to good people that life is short. Excellent rays of hope from Worse and Any though that things can be fixed!

As for the washing machine wearing out, mine is on constantly too. God help us when the next leccy bill comes! DH has taken pooch and madam for a walk this morning so I've been blasting the house and took the powder drawer put of the washing machine, mouldy and stinking! Urgh! Now I'm trying to wash the washing machine, oh the irony!

I'm almost loath to write this but the sleep here is finally improving! For a week now she's been going down at 7.30 to 8 but doing her usual wake up 30mins later, downstairs for a cuddle and back asleep by 9 then feeds around 11, 3 and 6.30. Last night we went to a wedding reception so she didn't get to bed until 11, woke up at 3 & slept until 7.15! I feel amazing!

Awesome work, miniYo! Hopefully she's turned a corner and you'll be able to look back on six months as the start of your life as a well rested parent.

As for washing machines, I think I may need to get a new one, with a built in tumble dryer. I have a perfectly serviceable dryer already, but nowhere to put the thing! Drying on the surer means I can do one measly load every three days. I dream of seeing the bottom of the washing basket...

SoYo you've just reminded me to clean my washer drawer. I did buy a thing of washing machine cleaner and now it sparkles! Highly recommend. And that's awesome news on the sleeping. It's amazing what a bit more sleep can do.

Leni I totally second the life's too short advice. If you wake up depressed day in day out then something's got to change. Soyos advice is great, but I'm a bit too mental hotheaded and emotional for that approach - when dp and I were struggling a few months ago I just threatened to leave. Every now and then I have to remind him how hard small babies can be, but on the whole he's better and were happier.

Stormy we have two airers (ones a big bastard too, all foldy outy and many layered), a line and a dryer all in constant use since ds's arrival!

DS just had his first homemade roast dinner. Very pleased.

Evening all! I have a window before the worselet wakes, so here I am. How long this window is I have no idea, so how long this post will be is as yet unknown.

SoYo, Plonky washing machine washer drawers need to be cleaned? Do they? I have never cleaned mine slattern. I have so many other things to clean that small dark corners have a tendency to be ignored. Perhaps next time MIL visits I'll add that to the list. Given the cup bleaching last time who knows what further levels of enthusiasm I can summon. I also have a dryer and hold my head up in defiance. I spent 40 years without one... I am due a break... and it is mega mega mega efficient hence costs pence in power. My kettle is a bigger drain on the environment .

As for the washing mountain, well I'm on top of mine. So ner!!!! Washing for me used to require trekking outside to a mouldy old outbuilding, loading the machine, trekking back in, trekking back out to empty machine, and then nearly always touching the wet sheets on something muddy necessitating a re-wash. In winter I had to dig my way through the snow to get to said outbuilding to do the washing. I kid you not. I do not even exaggerate. So now, washing = piece of cake. Enter kitchen. Load machine. Done.

SoYo yay to the sleep! You've earned it. Here's hoping it is a permanent improvement and you can remove the match sticks propping up your eyelids.

Any WHY why why is a very good way of putting it. Yesterday we had a full on scream-a-thon of a like not seen since she was about 3 weeks, just because she woke up from a nap. That was it... she woke... she looked about.... she screamed.... and then she screamed some more.... and then she remembered she was hungry so she screamed some more.... but she couldn't eat because she was screaming.... . In the end I just shoved the bottle in her mouth in one of her breaks for breath, and prayed she'd drink... which she did... before falling asleep again. Weird.

And she's woken!!!

Milk time

The PILs have gone! That is all I have to say before I bury myself in a vat of wine to celebrate. I will return to add to last month's list of AIBUs anon...

Maybe add some gin to that wine VJ, you deserve it! How's DH?

Leni how was today? Hope you're ok.

We're trying an early nap time bedtime after a very prolonged screamy do. She's feeding now with wide eyes as if to say "no chance Mummy".

As soon as she's down I'm pouring myself a large cinzano & lemonade with ice & a slice, retro I know!!

You've all just reminded me I now need to take the washing in from the line. I've got a dryer too Wors but I don't use it much, not because of the energy drain but because everything comes out really creased & smelling a bit wierd. What am I doing wrong?

Soyo am loving your retro style. Classy for a Sunday evening! And as for the stinky drier try leaving door ajar when not in use and emptying condenser drawer after each load not before. That makes me sound like a domestic goddess. I am not.
Stormy MN says the key to using Airers successfully is to operate a small fan in room at same time to circulate air. WOrth a try?
Kff how were your six month celebrations today? Our good Jewish friends really struggled with their first son's circumcision at the time but it's a non issue to them now he's two. They're pleased they did it.
Plonky welcome home. And, I raise you and stormy's macavoy with a gosling. Mmmmm
Worse, oh god the 26 week wonder week! That's what's been stopping me from posting here for the last three weeks a little while. Since week six ish we've had a regular eating, enthusiastic, easily pleased, cry free, brilliant sleeper. So, when week 21 arrived (week 24 in wonder week world) I had a rude awakening. Irritable, off food, crappy sleep, crying a lot. And Ecobaby hasn't been herself either! Seriously grim and challenging. CAn we support each other through this. Am envious of vj who is On the other side!
Leni you've had many wise words from our gang, I Just wanted to say that his behaviour sounds truly terrible and that you're right to deal with it now rather than wait. Having had a nine year relationship fall apart in spectacular fashion and believing it to be the end of the world I am proof that great things come out of these challenging times. Be sure to keep your dissatisfaction on your radar and start to take some steps. We will be here to help and encourage.
That was all from memory as on phone. Sorry if I forgot anyone.
Ecobaby had her first clean nappy for nine days today so hopeful the whatever it is is On it's way out. We went to car boot sale this morning to get some new toys and freshen up the landscape for her. For price of one new thing we got five lovely things so pleased with self. You probably think that's a bit grim to give small baby toys that others have slobbered on? ANyhow, what else, we have the fourth puncture on our buggy in three weeks. Bloody farmers cutting their black thorn hedges. And, in more controversial news, half my Christmas shopping is done. This December will be frolicsome and chocolate boxey not hectic.
HAppy Sunday evening all!

Right. Now that the euphoria has subsided I can post something slightly more meaningful.

PILs didn't actually make me too stabby. They were in town for 3 nights but only actually here for a couple of hours each day. It annoys me that they turn up and don't lift a finger, and for people who think of themselves as rather well-to-do, their manners are shocking (which explains why it has taken me 6 years to beat "please and thank you" into DH) but actually, they are great with dd, and limited their normal bigotry to some fairly tame sexism and just the tiniest hint of racism...

DH is ok, although recovery taking longer than I expected. Maybe my expectations are too high, but I was expecting, 4 days after general anaesthetic and keyhole surgery, that he wouldn't still be sleeping on the sofa all day. Am I being too harsh? (Soyo looking at you here...?) I feel like he's only going to prolong his recovery if he doesn't get up and about a bit?

Leni. Everyone else said what I was trying to say, but so much better. Hope today has been better.

Right. PILs bought me a bottle of limoncello all is forgiven because they felt bad for going to my favourite restaurant without me (one of those glorious places with free limoncello at the end of the meal) so I'm cracking that open in lieu of wine.

Oh my goodness so much to catch up on.

leni, did you ever make it for the blood tests? Your OH sounds like a twat. Sorry. I wish you'd copy and paste what you wrote in that post earlier about him on the Relationships board as the posters on there are amazing and will help you to sort through things. And the old 'but he's good with the DCs' never stands in my eyes as a good father wouldn't treat the DC's mother like crap, which is how your OH is treating you. D you want your DS growing up thinking that how your OH treats you is how all men should treat their supposed life partner?

Rant over. Sorry

With DS, I had a routine but that's because he slept 7-7 from 12 weeks and had his bottles at set times because he fell into his own routine. DD is so different, she doesn't wake at the same time in the morning, has naps of varying times, feeds at different times and wakes once, twice or not overnight. The main set thing is her 7oz bottle at 7ish and bedtime after that. I would like more of a routine! She tends to go 2.5-3.5 hrs between feeds and 2-3 hrs between naps. When she's grumbling I can work out whether she's tired or hungry from when she last fed or napped. I had better get her into more of a routine before I go back to work in two months

We had a wedding on Friday afternoon/evening. My DPs looked after the DCs and I fed her at 1:30 (wedding was at our church at 2) and then at 4 after the service at first part of the reception held in church and then DPs gave her her bottle and put her to bed. They were really worried about having her for all that time and initially were going to give her another bottle at 4 but it all worked out fine in the end. After all that hot weather last week, it chucked it down all day! :( Still a lovely event.

Yesterday we went to my BF's DD's 5th birthday party 2.5hrs away. DD slept on the way there and then woke in the car and was happy on the journey but on the way home we had to stop at services for me to feed her in the car which we'd not expected to.

Then we ended up giving her the 7oz bottle for her dream feed at 11 which went down really well and she slept till 4:45 for the first time in a week so we are going to give her a bottle again tonight for her dream feed (just 5oz) even thought she had her usual 7oz at 7pm. And hopefully I won't be too rock hard in the morning if she sleeps through!

This has turned into a really long post, sorry. I too love reading all your posts even if I don't respond to what everyone's said or asked. Re follow-on milk, with DS he stayed with standard blue no1 Aptamil until he went onto drinking cow's milk at 1yr. It's got everything you need I think (and the same for C&G, SMA etc I'd imagine).

eco both DS and DD have had great second hand toys from babyhood, both bought and donated (as well as new toys). I usually wash them thoroughly with a mixture of hot soapy water and a dash of bleach and that's always worked well for me. What did you get? :)

Second hand toys here too Eco! A quick wash and all is well. Madam steals toys from her baby friends and therefore shares slobber too so I'm not too fussy!

VJ he should be walking about a bit but he might be pretty knackered still, it all depends how sick he was really. After a week I'd expect him to be doing much more.

Off to bed and expecting madam to wake up just as I fall asleep!

Hi everyone. Im on a high. Had a lovely day celebrating ds 6months. So glad i followed tradition because we all had a good time and ds loved tge attention. We are soooo close to crawling. Ds has been practising being on his knees and trying to put one knee forward. He hasnt worked out the logistics to moving his hands and feet at the same time.

Re washing. Agghhh it never ends. Ive always got a bucket of clothes soaking in vanish. I too cleaned my washing machine draw last week as the conditioner compartment got blocked so had no choice but to clean it all.

I think the award for most improved sleeping goes to miniyo. Well done!

Ahh glad you had a lovely day KFF! It's lovely to celebrate our little people, they're growing so fast!

Thanks soyo, I think i needed to hear that and will now be cutting him a bit of slack for a few more days. Poor old mr vj with a mean old unsympathetic wife

Everyone else has looked past your earlier comment eco but to the Christmas shopping. Shame on you.

Oh, buggeration, my nieces will be here at Christmas, they're going to want actual presents, not just books, aren't they? My list of people who I absolutely have to get something for has jumped up to eleven. Arse.

Xmas? You are thinking about xmas? I prefer to live in denial until at last possible minute. I'm not a fan of present buying, it gets so political. I'm sure the more difficult family members will lighten up when they sprog though, and presents become all about the kids. Shopping for kids is fun. Shopping for adults is depressing!

VJ I'm sure DH knows you care and isn't milking it all at. After a weekend of PILs, baby, and convalescing DH you must be in need of more than a vat of wine! I know I would be.

KFF such a sweet idea, a 6 months celebration. I wanted to do something, but in the end it fell on a day DH was working late, and myself and the tiddler sitting round half a candle seemed a bit pointless. Nearing crawling here too!!! Being mahoosive of head the worselet has had to devise a special pre-crawling strategy. Basically she balances her weight on her forehead, and after much huffing and puffing draws one or both knees under her stomach. It is funny, although I probably shouldn't laugh as to her it is a very serious business.

Other new developments:
Curling tongue up to touch top lip when concentrating
Sitting in the silverback gorilla position, before flopping forward into a yoga toe chew move
Laughing whenever I chew. Eating apparently is hilarious. Or maybe it is just my eating

Eco sorry to hear about your previous heartbreak, but like you said it lead to a happier future with someone better. Life works in mysterious ways. Absolutely up for mutual support through the wonder that is a wonder week. The worselet's latest contribution was a 4am wake up call for milk, and general partying. Outright refusal to re-settle before 6am, before getting up again at 6.15am when DH's alarm went off. That would have been bearable had she gone to bed at 10pm...but of course she didn't. Last night was one of those nights she took 2 hours to settle. Right now she is looking really pleased with herself and I am looking sh*t!!!

Christmas? Oh bloody hell. I love the actual day but working in retail kills it for me. At least this year ill have a crawling baby to enjoy before diving head first into a bottle of claret. Am marvelling at your organisation eco, don't suppose you'd like to do my Christmas shopping too would you?

Worse that's an excellent list. Tongue up in concentration sounds adorable. We have...
Staying upright for a few minutes before assuming the gorilla position.
More consonants, 'mer mer' is now a favourite sound when crying - the beginning of mummy perhaps?
Reacting to particular faces we pull.

Vj glad you've got your own space again, and hope dh recovers quickly.

Wing sounds like things ate going pretty well. My DS sounds like your DS, even down to putting himself in a routine.

My IBS, having lain dormant for about 8 years, is back with a vengeance. Time to look at the diet again I suppose . I can't help but think a week in the company of the ILs has done irreparable damage to my stress levels. Suffice it to say if I continue to bite my to hue this hard it will fall off. I have a whole list of AIBUs up my sleeve from his mum, dad and sister, and I can't lie, I was quite tempted to dunk em all in the freezing cold pool.

I feel lucky that all family live miles away, none of the ILs ever leave their house, let alone come and stay here. That does however mean that we have to keep trekking to their less than clean house... Apparently our 'holiday' that OH wants to arrange involves renting a cottage for a week in Somerset, where all the GPs are. Sounds great! Not. We're basically just going home to the colder weather to put up with family - not sure that's my idea of a holiday. Maybe it'll mean DS can be left with them whilst we try and rekindle our dead relationship

Xmas? Nope. I'm buying for nobody other than DS and my niece and nephew this year.

Crawling is so nearly happening here - he just can't get his knees to stay without sliding backwards.

The baby monitor is really freaking me out lately, I hear demon like grunts in the night and DS constantly kicking as if he's trying to escape

Oh i did get bloods finally!

Well done for getting bloods Leni, about time!!!

We are nowhere near crawling here and I'm very glad about it! It's going to be a whole new ball game once she's mobile!