The 5th Gemini luxury bus - the one with babies!

[FrustratedSycamoresRocks]

As we have all our gorgeous babies now, welcome aboad the 5th Gemini bus.

Drinks and previously banned foods supplied in bulk, Car seats installed, slings and prams at the ready, as we head into parenthood, and all the excitement, and sleepless nights our little ones will bring along the way.

Eew, mossies lay eggs in water, so if you have a pond or river that will attact them.

WIBU to smash a few things? Just a plate or 2 lobbed against the wall would make me feel better I'm sure...!

DS1 doesn't seem capable of eating without making a constant monotoned mmmm noise. It makes me irrationally angry.

DH presented me with a baked potato for dinner (that I cooked, he served up) while I was having to hold DS2 to stop him screaming. I've told him repeatedly that if DS2 is being fussy then I need food in bitesize pieces so we can eat as a family. How am I supposed to eat a baked potato one-handed?!

I'm pretty sure that DH has depression. He's been worrying about various non-issues to the extent that he's not sleeping & has mentioned feeling hopeless. He also complains that he feels like he's working much slower than everyone else. He's now agreed that he might be depressed but doesn't want to make it a big deal by going to the GP because he's worried he'll dwell on it more. I've been trying to support him but it's really difficult when I've had both DSs grizzling at me while I'm trying to cook dinner & then he comes home & agrees to serve out the food but moves at a snail's pace as if he's got all the time in the world. I told him he needed to hurry up & he started whining about having had a hard day. As if I haven't! At least he gets to leave the office. My job is 24-7 & I don't even get toilet breaks by myself half the time!

I'm also fed up of breastfeeding. I've never found it particularly enjoyable tbh. Other people talk about it helping them bond with the baby, I just find it frustrating! I think it's the fact that it's entirely my responsibility that freaks me out! I'd rather express & bottle feed because it at least gives me the option of passing him to DH. I don't though - I like bottle feeding him! I would express all the time if it weren't for all the extra washing up!

I hate that I almost feel resentful of DH getting depression now. I know he didn't choose for it to happen but I'm trying so hard to look after my own mental health & him having issues means I'm trying to do more than I would normally so I'm not getting the time to relax which is usually necessary to keep me sane. I try to either have a nap or get to bed early if I don't manage a decent nap in the afternoon but I can't nap at the moment because one of the DC seems to need me constantly & I can't get to bed early because I'm trying to give DH time to chill when he gets home. I don't feel like I can tell him I need me-time though because he's spent years supporting me & I feel like it's my turn to look after him now!

Ha, yes, we live across the street from a lake (but I swear it's so much worse with long grass)

Wow Jo sounds like you have so much on your plate right now! Taking care of 3 boys it seems like. He should def go see a specialist. It's not fair for you to take on that burden b/c depression affects everyone around the person who is suffering from it.

totally feeling like the all-you-can-eat buffet today.

bring that is the perfect discription of a growth spurt.

Oh jojo I do hope you can convince DH to go to the doctors and get the help he needs, so you can get the support from him that you need.

Oh heck JoJo, the last thing you need on top of a newborn is a poorly DH who is unable to give you the support you need. My DH is prone to mental health problems from time to time and it is so hard to give him the support he needs especially if I'm feeling stressed myself.

I really think he should make a 'big issue' of it and go to the Docs, it is a big issue if its affecting everyone in your families ability to cope.

We are ok-ish here, I'm going to see the lovely retired Lactation Consultant again who I saw last week again as my nipples are still so very sore, and now my boobs have decided to join in the party being hard and sore even straight after feeding. I'm yay close to either getting nipple shields, or expressing and bottle feeding or just sacking it all off completely and giving her a bottle of formula. The only thing that's keeping me going with the Breastfeeding is the fact that I don't have any nipple shields and can't get to the big pharmacy, we don't have a pump and i csnt get hold of my Community Midwife to borrow one, and we haven't got any formula. If we had it in the house I would have given up by now. And the funny thing is, we had a really good night last night. I'm just fed up of feeng ragged and sore.

Oh dear we are all in the new baby blues I think where dh's do nothing but piss us off and we are crabby and tired
Jojo I can't imagine how shit it must be for you with the added pressure of dh depression on top, It's not really fair of him to say he doesn't want to see anyone as it leaves it to you to try and deal with it and the added pressure, if he would talk to a gp I'm sure they will give him alot of options and won't throw him straight onto pills etc, he might find it helps to talk?
If bf isn't working/enjoyable for you you shouldn't feel the pressure to continue, if you find it more enjoyable to bottle feed then that would be better for your bonding, I know we all have it drummed into is that bf is best but its got to be right for you aswell, I think it's the bloody pesky mothers guilt that stops is doing what we think is right sometimes - I felt the same way a bought putting dd2 on her tummy to sleep but really she will not sleep on her back and crys and crys ( is that better for her really)
Lor- it's good your getting support, bf isn't easy in the beginning and you can feel physically and emotionally drained, good your seeing the consultant, I really think it would be a good idea to either try shields or express before giving up, a couple of days off and your nipples might feel right as rain? Even a few hours might make a difference, hope she can suggest some tips for you
I feel much better today, went out last night for a meal with friend ( dh didn't say anything but could see the panic in his eyes) got dolled up in a dress you couldn't access boobs in ( liberating!) and had 2 blissful child free hours

jojo that sounds so tough. I'm finding it hard enough keeping myself going and feeling bad if I disturb dh too much at night without adding depression in. Hope he gets some help and levels out a bit.

ds had a bit of a rubbish night due to being quite snuffly. He's no real trouble breathing but it's really annoying him and making him snort all night. I just got some saline drops in the chemist that I'm told will help?

Lor You need THIS. Works WONDERS for tiny stuffy noses.

LIb nipple shields would be a good route to try if she's just not latching correctly (which is what it sounds like if you're still feeling full after a feeding). Have you tried hand-expressing? Some women (me included) find that they can get more milk out through hand expressing than with using a pump. Just find an empty jar or glass and go for it. It should help relieve some of the pressure you're feeling and soften up the areolas for easier latching. This video makes me laugh because there are like 3 people's hands on her boob! (hopefully it works in the UK for you to see it, or you can just google "hand expression" for other videos).

That sounds so fun Kitty! Good for you!!

Finally succumb to the pacifier this morning. I couldn't get 5 minutes to make breakfast, let alone EAT IT. Now she's very happily sleeping on her tummy with a dummy in place. Definitely not going to win safe mother of the morning award .

ooh we have that bring but haven't used it yet. Been a bit scared of it. Will give it a go tonight.

I have used a pacifier on a few occasions too bring, not for her to go to sleep but sometimes to calm her if she's got herself worked up with trapped wind etc, sometimes you just need to make life a little easier on yourself
And sorry post before to lib not lor

This is my first Dc that won't take a dummy. Dd1 had one by 6 weeks as she was a comfort sucker and dribbled mill straight out onto me. Dd2 had one before the 1st week was out.
This little fella isn't having any of it. And I've tried all the shapes (newborn, orthodontic and cherry). Seems if its not me he's not sucking it.

And I've discovered that he likes to go for a stroll in the pram in the evening to go to sleep. Luckily I have the dog who always needs an evening walk, any excuse to avoid looking like an idiot who's fallen for the rod-for-your-own-back method but at least he'll be asleep for the next 3+ hours.

Think we might have to go for a drive, she's cried for an hour now, only feeding will stop her and my nipples are ragged.

Frus my dd1 wouldn't have one either, she actually used to look at me like I was trying to trick her, "what's this crap, there's nothing coming out of it!" Dd2 seems to like sucking but it only lasts 20seconds to a few minutes and I don't have the will to keep putting it back in, It's a good thing long term though if they don't want it, something less to worry about trying to wean them off or rely on ( that said dd1 has a teddy that goes everywhere god forbid we loose it and it is very manky despite being washed every few days #unconditionallove)

Oh and this littles ones dislike of being on her back extends to pram and car seat, she's the first child I know who will not sleep while being pushes and wakes as soon as you put her in! She spent all afternoon awake yesterday because we were out and about, I think she's going to be a cot or chest sleeper and that's all not great if you like going out

#1 LOVED his dummy, it took until he was 3 (and a disgusting bout of stomach bug where he puked on the last one) to finally get rid of them. #2 is still a thumb-sucker. I don't think M is too keen on it. She'll take it for a few minutes but I should just put the thing away for fear of having to deal with the consequences further on down the road! M also will not be on her back and wakes as soon as she's put in her moses basket, carseat, or stroller. She took her first real 2 hr nap without me holding her this morning by sleeping on her tummy (wow that was a nice break). I've been ending up taking her in bed with me the last few nights with her sleeping on my chest just in order to get more than an hour of sleep.

Lib I'm so sorry things are hard and sore for you right now. I'm sending hugs and encouragement across the pond to you!

Frus I know your LOs are about the same spacing as mine....how are you feeling with essentially "starting over" with a new baby? Things are feeling really like I'm in a limbo right now as my friends' kids are older, my birth worker friends are all busy and now I feel like I've got little in common with them, and it's like I'm a new mum all over again b/c I have a tiny baby. Kind of feeling like I have to re-find my identity. Is it just me or have you been feeling anything like this? I should probably just go find a new mum's group in my area. It's also not helping that the boys are in school full-time and it's getting really lonely around here just being at home..... nor does it help that DH has gone out with his friends tonight so I've really had no socialization today and I'm feeling kinda bummed out. It's like delayed baby-blues.

Well she cried, on and off, mostly on...until 1am. She finally fell asleep in the sling as I bounced on my birthing ball singing 'Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz', so now she's just had her usual 15 mins on the first boob. Am now supposed to wind and change her but she's not dirty, so I just undid her babygro & nappy and blew on her bum, but she will not wake up to feed. I'd put her baby to bed but I know she'll wake up hungry soon and I'll wake up with one sore, full boob.

lib ds has gone onto one boob per night feed. Some babies really won't wake for the second whatever you try and do. I feed bad for you that you are so sore. I'm a form believer in doing what is right for you. And that old cleche of happy mum happy baby. If you have to move on to expressing for bottle feeding, or formula feeding, please don't feel guilty about doing so. You are going to feel mothers guilt over a lot of things in the coming years, and a lot of that you will have to ignore. Don't be in pain because you think it's expected of you, it is okay to do what you have to do to be happy and healthy.

kitty do you have a pram pram?

bring I have taken to doing a lot of baby groups, theres 4 different ones that I go to, but I don't always go to all of then in the week in the hope that I'll "click" with someone, and also to get out of the house.
(Will msg you on fb)

Frus what is a pram pram?
Totally agree with your msg to lib, don't suffer because you feel obliged! My dd will often only have one boob too but as we feed every 3 hrs they never get to full or uncomfy, that said woke up with one porn star one this morning, had the best night!
Bed at7 straight to sleep, woke at 2:15 fed, had a little winge for the next 20 mins but not crying just a few mins every 10 of groans, then slept til wait for it 6:40!!! Hurar no 5:30 for me today
Plus I've just had my first full on smile, the last week she's been turning up the corner of her mouth but this was a full on mouth open eyes smiling grin at me, I'm in love
Bring I know as a mw it goes against all your advice but the sleep mat monitor I've got has been the best money I've spent, it works brilliantly and I can relax even though she's on her tummy, I think you can buy clips that go on there napped aswel

A pram pram, with the carrycot bit on the chassis. T
Great for belly or side sleepers.

Lol kitty to your one sided pornstar boobs. I have a sobby baby, he got himself all worked up on the school run because he wanted a top-up feed. So now sat in car outside school feeding between his sobs.
Have you had real tears yet?

Eew I have to go and get changed. Major leakage from where my Breast pad had slipped.

Thanks for the love ladies, last night was really tough. Just had bananas with sugar and cream on in bed and feel much better.

I was going to get a pump and try expressing, give my poor left nipple a break however the breast feeding volunteer thinks we might have thrush too. Got the drugs yesterday and I'm maxing out on Acidophilius to try and boost myself. So I don't think I can pump until that's cleared up.

Was really looking forward to today as we are registering her and were going to go out for lunch and meet all the people from my Arts Festival which is starting today (and which I thought I would be in a fit state to volunteer for....ha!)

We had a couple of proper tears yesterday. It confused me for a moment because I thought his eyes were leaking...

Things are a little calmer here. I got a few hours to myself yesterday afternoon when both DSs slept at the same time! I told DH that I was struggling being his only form of support & he understood & said he'd have a think about coping strategies & maybe include talking to someone in that. He's been having trouble trying to figure out how to solve some things at work which he feels he should be able to do & he's been getting panicky about it. He's written down a step-by-step procedure of how to deal with those moments which he's designed to get himself thinking logically about the issue rather than just freaking out. I'm not convinced it'll work but he says he's feeling a lot more confident today because he has a plan. Hopefully that'll be enough to help him through. I'm a little concerned about how he might react if he needs to use his procedure & it doesn't help! We have mentioned the concept of GPs, talking to his boss or even time off so hopefully he'd be amenable to one of those options if it does get worse.

Lib, take it easy on yourself! My DS will only ever feed from 1 side & usually only for 8-13 mins. He lets me know if he's still hungry & I can express enough for a decent feed for him from one side so I'm confident he's getting enough. I looked it up when I was having problems with DS1's feeding & at this stage they should be having approximately 1oz for every 1kg of their weight. I made a graph! Give expressing a go, if nothing else it'll give you an idea of how much milk you're producing from each side. I find it reassuring to be able to measure things! Even if you have to go to formula for a few feeds, or more, for a little while you've still got the option of going back to the breast when you've had a chance to recover. If you don't leave it too long then your supply will adjust to provide enough again. Oh, & breast shells are fab for swollen boobs! I'm a bit of a shell-evangelist now! An 'evan-shell-ist'!

Talking of milk supply... DS2 gagged & pulled off suddenly yesterday & got a face-full of squirting milk! It was like a super-soaker, but worse! I couldn't help laughing at him covered in milk & looking rather surprised! I also laughed at DS1 when he was chasing a balloon around, trod on it & did a full-on Charlie Brown flip in the air & landed on his back! Both he & the balloon were completely unharmed but he was a bit shaken up & I had to fight the giggles to comfort him. It was so like a cartoon! I'm a terrible parent!