April 2011 - We understand no but we choose to ignore it.

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

Welcome Aprilites

Brilliant Daisy! We're fans of the potette too, it lives in the boot of the car for F's favourite roadside wee.

More boos for bugs and tantrums, F is a champion tantrummer (I might have mentioned it before), so I know it's not helpful but it is nice to know it's not just him/us!

Don't even start me on tantrums... I could rant for a week.

"I don't want tooooo"

Is this just is? How do you deal with it?

"I don't want to get dressed"
"OK, don't the"
"I want to get dressed"
"Ok, let me get you dressed"
"I DON'T WANT TO"
"Ok, I'm going downstairs, are you coming?"
"I don't want to"
"Right, ok then"
"I don't want Charlie" (teddy) holds him out to be taken
"Ok" takes Charlie
"I WANT CHARLIE!"
ad infinitum with EVERYTHING, and includes "I can't" "I want"/"I don't want" etc.

There is literally no winning. We've even had it out with "I want a cuddle" then immediately "I want to walk" then immediately reversed as he's out down. Can't get him to eat ("I don't want it, take it away, I WANT IT, I don't want it" etc) or nap (I think you get the idea).

Are all 3yo like this or is this just our particular genetic mix of angry & stubborn?

*us, at the top.

We now have proper screaming. Proper, ear splitting screaming. I don't know why. He apparently doesn't want anything we can offer. We had this earlier, I calmed him down and soothed him and then we got into the "I don't/want to get dressed" circular. He eventually made it downstairs. Problem is he does/doesn't want cuddles/lunch/Charlie/a nap so we literally can't do anything right.

DH is trying now to get him to calm down by listening to dubstep at least he hasn't just given up to moan on the internet.

This is what we pay a childminder for. She's the expert in this! It's only Tuesday and I'm moaning at having to deal with my own child.

And I want a second? I've gone wrong.

It's neverending. DH managed to sort him out. Got some food in him and now he's started again. DH has flounced to the garage.

DH was not commited to the flounce. He came back in.

We are now studiously ignoring every sentence that starts with "I (don't) want" or "I can't". He knows how to ask nicely.

He kicked me earlier (I was ignoring him), so is having time out. On his 3rd currently for refusing to stand up to talk to me after the first 2. It's like something out of super nanny here (the bits on video for the "look how bad you were without me" part).

The plan is to go out and put him in the carrier so he might actually fall asleep.

Still refusing to stand up after his 3 minutes. Complete with comedy straining and "I can't I'm stuck in the mud". 3 more minutes it is then.

Ranting here is helping me be calm about it! Please say it's not just me!

And again. "Stand up and talk to me" "I can't do it I don't want to", "do you need 3 more minutes?", "yes", "OK", "I DONT WANT TOOO".

Damn these stubborn genes.

Jeebus it actually worked. This time he hopped up and apologised and is now Mr Chirpy.

Spoke too soon. He's howling again because he won't ask nicely for a particular hat.

13 I have the very Montessori approach to tantrums. Basically it involves saying 'come and find me when you can be nice' and walking off. It sometimes takes a very, very long time for it to work but it eventually helps them sort their heads out and regulate their own behaviour and emotions.

Thanks Nom. I might try that.

We've spent the afternoon insisting on 'nice words and nice voice' and it's helped. He understands that this means not doing the 'I (don't) want/can't' thing and not whining/howling/screaming.

He had another episode about half an hour ago, but has got himself back on track.

Just need to keep this up for the rest of the fortnight (and then forever after).

So far, 'naughty corner' is working OK for us, but damn, she can be unreasonable at times. 13 I feel your pain with that tantrum, sounds like a nightmare. I am lucky I work FT and delegate most of this to DP/nursery

Oh, we also do the 'you don't get what you want if you use your wingey whiney voice' thing. It only sometimes helps...

Feel your pain, 13, I'm getting really frustrated with this sort of thing at the moment! We do similar, tell us with a normal voice and then we can help etc. Mind you, he then asks for things he knows he can't have but in a nice way and is then uber cross, and understandably bewildered I guess, when the answer is still no!!

God, it's a minefield being 3, isn't it?

It really is, ecuse!

Today's been much better with F. The "nice words & nice voice" mantra, along with ignoring "I want/can't" and any howling (and a bit of healthy bribery) means we've had a much better day.

That and we engineered an early nap (long drive) and immediate lunch which was probably the main factor!

We have a nursery day tomorrow. A break for everyone!

Eek 13.

We have tonsillitis. Well S does. And we are off to Glasgow tomorrow for the weekend.

Oh dear kitty :( Tonsilitis is no fun, doubly do when you're a tot. Ice cream?

I appear to have royally screwed myself by saying M could have a birthday party. It's now 'my party' this and 'my party' that and any time we go anywhere or do anything he thinks it's his party next. It's exhausting. More exhausting that tantrums.

Last night we had a weird night terror episode that culminated in him eating DH's pizza and me and A being kicked out of bed to the spare room. He just screamed for 45 minutes like he was having a panic attack and wouldn't settle

Night terrors are so scary nom. S used to suffer with them.

What a week. We've just had five nights in hospital with the baby . She's much much much better now but she didn't half frighten me to death. They've put it down to an infection, having thankfully ruled out more serious things like meningitis, and antibiotics seem to have sorted her out. We got home earlier today and can safely say that I've never been so glad to see my own bed!

Being in hospital had made me so thankful to be British though - the NHS is an amazing thing. The level of care and thoroughness from the doctors, nurses, HCAs etc was fantastic.

Christ 20th. Sounds terrifying. Hope you're all ok xx

We are now - normal service has been resumed! Hope S is on the mend too :)

That's good.S is fine but A isn't right.