May 2013 thread our new and not so new arrivals

[BeauticianNotMagician]

Hi ladies

Just thought we could all really do with this. Rather selfish a its mostly for the thousand odd questions I have and things I'd like to share/ vent that no one else would understand.

We've all been together so long I even talk about you all to DP

Thanks, good to feel a bit less woeful, or a bit less lonely in woefulness! Going to go to bed and hope for a reasonable night and a better tomorrow. Hoping the same for you all as well x

Lol Devilchaser! With DS1 I kept waking up DH and saying "you have to put DS back in his cot! I've finished feeding him and I don't want to roll on him!" Except DS was fast asleep in his cot... Again and again I did it!

Zorra, I'm very emotional. Yesterday I was really tired and kept crying all morning. Bless my DH said to me have you got that post natal depression, my reply was I had a baby 9 days ago, he said ah yeah I should give you a bit of time to get depressed 1st. Made me laugh so at least I stopped crying for a bit.
Also been telling DD1 off today coz she is very tired after our day out yesterday, felt so bad I laid in bed with her while she went to sleep. It's so hard with 2 but will be glad when DD1 starts nursery in 2 weeks.

We got signed off today. Kate hasnt put any weight on since day 5 (day 10 today) so that's me over worried again coz she has been very sick on her bottles. She didn't loose anything after birth and put on 2lb.

I've been a bit weepy too - mostly non-specific emotionality but if I find anything - anything - to fuel it, I tend towards catastrophising. Which I do at the best of times. My trick is to remember that I'm in the middle of a hormonal crash, and that is explanation enough - I needn't feed my anxieties with thinking up or brooding on all the things that are a bit worrying at the moment as doing so will just solidify them, somehow. Easier said than done when it comes to DS, who I'm just really worried about, poor chap. He's really not having much fun with the adjustment...

Also struggling with family Rachy, mine are being such tossers at the moment, from out-and-out bullying to just being full of toxic shit, it's all a bit disappointing, really. Nothing quite like it to focus the mind on how to manage my own parenting relationships. Everyday, I go to bed thinking how I'm going to do a bit better with DS tomorrow, and most days, I am a bit better with DS. We had had some really awful moment, with me shouting at him - I've never been a shouty parent, and am hoping that this two week blip will be erased by reverting to normal service, ASAP.

God, I'm really waffling aren't I? Hoping for some more clarity when we nail sleeping etc... Though had a lovely conversation with an ex-colleague today, really, gloriously academic and so far removed from the logisitics and challenges of childcare, it was almost like going on a tiny holiday.

Well, anyway, good luck with the poos, everyone - DS didn't go for four days in the first weeks last time and it was such a major event that I had to text about 10 people when he finally went. This one is a poo machine, though. She's also gaining like she's on protein shakes and kettle bells, which is lovely for us especially after DS - he and I took fully eight weeks to nail the bfing thing. I remember reading that you should feed til your baby rolls off the breast, contented, themselves and that honestly took eight weeks to achieve last time - up until then, he and I would struggle through a feed and they'd end when I gave up because he was crying too much. He was born on the 75th and dropped to the 0.4th by six weeks and I was a wreck with worry. After all the pressure to bfeed, I was being pressured to ff, and getting loads of conflicting advice re dummies/ block feeding, etc. When we hit the 0.4th, I came onto MN bf boards, and everyone had yet more conflicting advice. And I'd sort of had it, with all the advice, and thought, why the fuck am I letting this get to me? And why the fuck am I listening to anyone except DS - he tells me what he wants, and I should listen to him and fuck everything else. It was a real turning point. The next time he was weighed, at his 6mo check, he was on the 91st centile, the HV kept saying, 'are you sure it's just breast milk???!' So for those of you struggling, it can all change very soon; DS and I just needed to work each other out. For me that meant recognising that he was very easily overstimulated and wouldn't latch overtired so we really focused on being careful about when we changed a nappy, didn't do anything 'new' when he was tired, tried not to do too much eyecontact during a sleepy nappy change or feed (it could really wind him up).

This one is so so so different, she's been a breeze so far. Mind you, my friend had a very chilled baby for about three weeks and now has a toddler who has been absolutely in overdrive since then...

Morning everyone, can I join your thread?

I was on the April groups but my DS was due April 30th and then went 16 days late so I'm so far behind all the April ladies now. I think I officially qualify as May lady now!
DS was born on the 16th at 7lb9 and we were signed off by the midwife today as he's back up to 8lb2.

I've had a bit of a read back through the thread. Hang on in there for all of you struggling with BF - the consultant I saw made it clear it's a learned skill that takes 6-8 weeks to crack so go easy on yourself if you're struggling.

I'm currently lying here with a wide awake hiccuping boy - we don't seem to have mastered the night feeds yet. If I let him do a sleepy feed (not waking him properly, no nappy change) he doesn't then sleep for very long as he doesn't feed much, and he seems to take a few goes to get off to sleep, needing to come back to latch on for a couple of final mouthfuls. If I wake him fully and do a nappy change and make sure he's awake to feed, then he gets overstimulated and won't go back off to sleep for ages. Anyone else experiencing anything similar and what have you decided to do?

Just an update regarding PTT and Ann Dobson as I know there was someone else seeing her this week. I'm sorry I don't remember your name at the moment {}. AD came yesterday evening, she was here for about 2 hours and checked his palate and tongue thoroughly. She confirmed he was TT and snipped the tie. It has made a difference to his feeding, she also recommended cranial manipulation because of long 2.5 days labour with forceps. So DD is going to arrange that this week. AD has a very reassuring, matter of fact approach and manner. DD is alternately BF and FF feeding and hopes to be EBF in a couple of weeks.

I am so sorry to hear that some of you have family issues. It must be so hard when you are recovering from giving birth, getting used to be a mum and also looking after a FB too. I know it is easy to say, but try not to let all this 'stuff' get to you, their issues are theirs alone. Just enjoy getting to know your NB and try to let it wash over you.

I'm loving being a GM, I look at GS and my heart melts. I hope today goes well for everyone >

Hi all

Welcome Bext have no advice about waking at night I'm afraid. I have opposite. Teddy is fast asleep even through nappy change. I'm sure someone will come along with some advice though. What's your baby called, weight etc. We have a stats thread you can add yourself to and a fb group. I'm rubbish at linking. But for the fb group ill in box you.

Things are going better here now. Teddys colic went as quickly as it came on. Last night he slept for a four and a half hour stretch then his usual wake every three hours. He definitely doesn't have constipation but I'm worried we may have to switch formula again as we now have the opposite his stools are really wet. Ill wait a bit I think and see if it improves.

Rachy,Zorra and Sparkly I'm another who is teary. Also family issues. DP and i are great in fact Teddy has made us better. MIL however not so good. Apparently I need to use gripe water, Teddys too cold all the time and every time he's awake and wants dummy I must offer a bottle. Grrrrr

Sorry a few have asked about my infection. It seems to be better so hopefully the anti bs are attacking it. I still don't feel quite right down there but I'm not sure why I have a feeling I'm going to suffer back problems its still really sore on day 9 post birth.

Hows everyone feeling about their post birth body. I'm so depressed I don't see how this flab/excess skin will ever go back. Ds1 keeps upsetting me he can't help it (autistic) but it hurts none the less. He keeps saying mummy your pregnant again when I say no he says well you have a massive tummy you need to go on wii fit. When I type it sounds so silly me getting upset over it. The first time I laughed but its constant now.

Hello All

I don't think I've posted since giving birth two weeks ago today. I've posted lots on the FB group and read this thread and our AN thread but never seem to have time to properly post here.

We are doing well. I'm sorry to read of so many BFing woes, so far I've been blessed with a great feeder and despite initially uncomfortable engorgement we have had no problems EBF and DS never even lost an ounce after birth. I strughled with DD2 though so can very much sympathise.

We have had more difficulty with sleeping as DS will only sleep in my bed and not the cot or Moses basket. I'm ok with that at the mo as I feed him lying down and so hardly wake myself and he usually (but not always) manages three hours between feeds which is ok. Evenings are a challenge as he cluster feeds and fights sleep but last night I got both our girls and DS all asleep by 8pm and DH and I had an evening to ourselves and had no idea what to do!

Sorry to those with family troubles. We've had some problems with MiL HATING DS's name and being very passive aggressive about it. It has upset me a lot and taken all joy out of the name for me which I think is very cruel of her. I am also slightly sad that DH won't talk to her about it as he never challenges his parents. I think my hormones make it all seem worse. That and the fact that I miss my own parents so badly at the moment. They'd have lived all their grand children and been such a great help but they never got the chance to meet them. Life seems very unfair at times. Again the hormones make the grief seem worse.

Zorra, I just wanted to say that you are totally justified in feeling down but as somebody already said you are AMAZING. You have an inspirational career, you seem to bear your 'D'P's outrageous behaviour with fortitude, you have a lovely DS and now DD. Remember that you have moved continents recently (enough on its own to stress one out), had a baby (ditto) and had to put up with a disappearing partner (ditto). Go easy on yourself and speak to your GP if you think you may need some help.

Right, got to go as the DDs are rocking DS rather too enthusiastically.

Arti another one here who's MIL hates babies name. She said I'm sorry you cannot call your child that he will be Ted to me or TJ I cannot call him Teddy its awful. We knew we had picked a marmite name but no reason to be nasty. She apparently said she hated it in front of the ds's when we called from hospital. We should put Edward or Theo on his birth certificate as well according to her. Well no because that's not his f*k*g name.

Sorry rant over

Sorry to hear so many people are having feeding troubles. And no guilt please to anyone who has already switched to FFing, as long as baby is gaining weight and you're both happy it's really all that matters. I gave myself such a hard time after DD1 I decided not to try this time, for me its not worth the stress having 'failed' twice already.

Can't believe how rude some of your MILs are over names, I'd have probably completely lost it.

DD2 is a very easy baby and sleeps a lot, though I think I deserve it after the nightmare baby that was DD1!

beaut I know it must be particularly hard for you to accept your body post-birth but remember its still very early days. You'll be able to enjoy plenty of walks in the sunshine once your older 2 are back at school.

Can't believe DD2 is 4 weeks old today!

Arti I don't understand your mil problem. If the name I have in my head is correct, I just don't see what her issue is. It's a lovely name. .

Alice has been discharged from the neonatal nurses care! She has put on 6oz this week and is now 4lbs 11. Her biggest gain yet. We also had poo 'plosion yesterday so I'm happy (as I'm sure she is too) today.
The nurse keeps satin I should try drinking orange/mango/prune juice to help her constipation. Is that right? I didn't think it'd make a difference.

Beaut poor you with your sons comments. A lovely autistic lad at school told my colleague who had just returned off ML that she shouldn't wear the trousers she had on because they made her bum look fat. I was rather chuffed when he told me I had lost all the baby weight!

I'm hating seeing myself in pics atm. I have actually lost all but 6lbs of the pregnancy weight, but I have in reality another 40lbs to go. Why does it go on so bloody easily and not come off?!

My supply is also dwindling after nearly 12 weeks . In going to express like mad today and set reminders on my phone.

Those of you with family problems-that's awful. This should be a happy time for family too. My poor DMIL is very ill and has been in hospital for past two weeks. Out now, but not good. This has been really difficult on DH and we aren't getting on well at all. Things were less strained yesterday so in hoping for a reprieve! We should all be able to just enjoy our babies. They are little for such a short time. Unfortunately life happens.

Right. I'd better get changed!

Birth story alert: started to get regular contractions around 5am yesterday morn got up at 5.30 took 2 paracetomol by around 8.30 they were about 4 mins apart so decided get a bath to try ease the pain a little thinking I still had ages to go ... Got out of bath at around 9.20ish and contractions were coming constant Dp foned hospital who said come straight in .. Got to hospital at 10 after having some very strong contractions in the car got out of car & could feel babys head descending rather rapidly got rush into triage got on bed at 10.08 waters broke baby born 10.11 midwifes face was a picture lol xx

Wow shelly that was a bit of a close call - nearly a car park baby! Congratulations

I'm delighted to announce that James finally did a poo this morning after 5 days! Thanks to whoever it was who menioned Vaseline on the bum - I tried that last night and it may have been just what he needed. Someone mentioned Vaseline was great for stopping meconium from sticking to the skin ages ago so we tried that in hospital when he arrived and had about 8 poos in the first night (lucky dh got to deal with them as I was stuck in bed with a catheter!) so I'm now convinced by the power of Vaseline!

Hi everyone, it's good to find you all on here.
I gave birth to Jacob last Wednesday.. On his due date, 22 May.
He's our 4th and final one!
My other children slept the first week of their lives, but not Jacob!
He's been settled on and off during the day, but very unsettled at night. I nearly took him back to hospital on the first night, as there was nothing I could do with him to settle him... Was it my colostrum not coming in? Was he colicky? I just had no idea, and I felt awful. The longest night ever, thinking, 'what have we done!'
The second night was a tiny bit better, he fed loads and slept tiny bits, and finally went off at 4am, so I managed to get a few hours of sleep in the morning.
The third night was pretty much the same,,, the day my milk started to come in.
The fourth night was awful, he finally went off at 6am and I'd had no sleep at all. The midwife said it was most likely due to him suddenly having loads of milk and just not knowing what to do with it, like a 'milk fest!'
Then last night was much better. He was happy to lie next to me on our bed (OH sleeping downstairs) and I fed him on and off, but we both slept in between nicely... So, fingers crossed, he's settled now and tonight will be another night like that.
I don't mind being woken up and feeding him... I mind not getting any sleep!
Thank god it's the half term, so we haven't got to get the girls to school!
Their back on Monday and so's OH to work, so we need to get Jacob settled by then.
Wriggler, glad the Vaseline worked...
Artichook, I lost both my parents when young, so I understand how you feel.. (((( ))))
Regarding any family members being arseholes... People will never change.. Even during the magical/wonderful time when a new baby comes into the family, they will still continue tone arseholes. Expect the minimum, anything else you get is a bonus!

Finally checked in and did my birth story on the antenatal thread. Although thinking about it maybe it should have been here? I dunno :o it went on though. I had verbal diarrhoea through my fingers I think!

Everything going well here really. DD3 had a few latching issues to start with but the MW sorted me out and I just have to make sure she goes on right every time is all. Milk came in the fastest I've ever had it do so that helped as well. She's a bugger to wind at times though. Either holds onto it or brings up a load of milk at the same time.

She is a complete poo machine. We've had soooo many poo up the back episodes now I've lost count!

6 day weigh in and she'd only lost 3% which was great. Although it's fair to say she had a fair amount on her to not worry about it very much! Think she dropped from 10lb 2oz to 9lb 13oz :o

Night times are hard work but that's ok. DP just takes over things in the day between me feeding and tells me to go and snooze if I need to. Had a couple of nights where she went 5 hours between the 11pm ish feed and the next one. But we were back to 2 hourly last night so I won't get my hopes up!

Got HV first visit on Thursday. Can't remember if it's just a paperwork filling visit or whether she brings her scales as well. Not that DD3 will be that impressed at having to get naked :o

Terra I just read your birth story and I can't believe the cow gave birth on the same day.

Poor DS has an infected umbilical stump :-(. I'm going to worry all night because we had it swabbed by the GP last Friday because it looked bad but as we heard nothing we thought he must be fine. Then this eve I left my mobile upstairs and the GPcalled three times all really late (up to 9pm) and left a message saying if DS seems at all ill to take him to hospital tonight and otherwise to come in first thing in the morn to see her. He seems ok ezcept a facial rash which i suppose is unrelated but I bet I don't sleep.

Just popping in to mark my place! I'm going to collapse with exhaustion in a minute so will catch up later. :)

Margaret Rose was born on May 27th. :) We are so in love!

Art how is DS this morning? I worried about DDs for a while as it seemed to be weeping but cleared up fine. How stressful to get that message from the doc.

Ladies ... Any advice on settling a mucousy baby ?? Because she arrived so quickly she didn't clear it herself so now its all on her chest making her sicky and a nightmare to settle :-( although who would settle with that poor dd xx

10 that sounds like a particularly horrendous day. And your DH sounds like mine with the mess and clutter in car. We've swapped ate so I have the nicer one with the kids, and I wanted to get my sunglasses out of mine at the weekend. He wouldn't let me go in it because he knew I'd go mental. He was right. The smell was horrendous. Why do they do it?!!

Arti have you heard anything else? Is DS on antibiotics?

Shelly a neonatal nurse said she used to cover their nose with her mouth and suck the snot out . I think she meant her own DD though. Apparently it's a cultural thing. But the mucousy thing will pass. On the maternity ward the doctors and midwives just kept telling the new mums that it'll pass soon hopefully with a good sneeze.

Ha! Just had our kitchen floor laid. The kitchen was started the week I had Alice nearly 12 weeks ago and has been on hold for last two months. It feels so good to get it down. Nearly finished!

Anyone else been conned annoyed by the baby clothes sizes. We are up to 'Tiny Baby' now. I have a selection from all the supermarkets, mothercare etc. I put an outfit on from tesco yesterday and despite saying 'up to 7lbs' it is too small! She isnt even 5lb! Yet the mothercare same size is massive. So frustrating. And a bloody waste. Grrrrr.