May 2013 thread our new and not so new arrivals

[BeauticianNotMagician]

Hi ladies

Just thought we could all really do with this. Rather selfish a its mostly for the thousand odd questions I have and things I'd like to share/ vent that no one else would understand.

We've all been together so long I even talk about you all to DP

Sorry to hear that 10 and all the non-sleepers. It is just a phase (though it might last for a while) x

All the non-sleepers-is there anyone to take baby for a good stint the next day? Do you feel you could sleep if given the opportunity the following day 10? Like Zorra said, it's a phase. You have my sympathies though.

I'm Finding the whole corrected age and actual age thin really frustrating and difficult. A is 12 weeks tomorrow but only 1.5 weeks corrected. And despite this being DD2, I can't remember what they should be like at either of those ages! A is awake a lot more now. She has spells of hours where she is awake and alert. She spent some time on the floor with her sister yesterday and was watching her and her toys. Where does that fit in developmentally? She will also lift and move her head around (and managed to move from the bottom of the crib to the very top!). This feels like it maybe ahead of her corrected age? But not her actual? But she's lifted her head lots in hospital too....maybe I'm just being a little PSB! But I used to quite like reading the weekly developmental milestones and watching DD1 meeting them. Now I don't know where to start!

Last question. What is the size of the smallest baby on here that is successfully bf? A will seem to latch and spend a good hour but not seem satisfied. But I'm getting really fed up of all the expressing and my supply is sufferring. I want to switch over to bf as soon as I can, but don't feel she's big enough. Do you think it's probably a bit late? And that despite latching she'll always prefer the ease of the bottle? I bf DD1 up to 6 months and wanted to do the same for DD2 (but 6 months corrected). That's a lot more expressing!

Arg just wrote and lost epic post. These are the headlines:

Rachy your baby might be due a growth spurt. If he won't settle after a feed, it's ALWAYS worth offering more.

IL and parent troubles - you'd be forgiven for thinking that when you were in your 30s with children of your own, they'd recognise you were an adult and afford your decision s the same basic respect that they manage for the other adults they know. But you'd be wrong.

I have mastitis, but refused hospitalization because my two yr old, who has been very fragile after the baby was born, couldn't come. Fortunately, both he and I turned a corner yesterday; he has cheered up and my temperature is out of the danger zone - it had been almost 40 at one point. But my boob really hurts.

Oh Sparkly I am sorry to hear about the mastitis. I had it repeatedly with DD2 and it is a horrid, horrid thing. Make sure that the ABs you are on really clear the infection. I spoke to La Leche League and really you need a strong two week course. I kept being given one week courses and I would think I was better but the infection must have kept alive and it came back time and time again. It might also be worth getting the latch checked as bad latch can lead to blocked ducts.

10 the insomnia sounds horrid. You have been through so much over the psat 3 months so it is is not surprising that you are stressed and it is affecting you. Do you feel at all down? If you do then do consider talking to your GP or HV as they can offer real help.

NoKnife and 10 I have no experience of premature babies but it sounds like your LOs are progressing brilliantly. I would not consider them behind if they track their corrected age for milestones, surely that is normal.

Rachy and Bood and other sleepless people, so sorry to hear about the non-settling LOs. "This too shall pass" does sound like an unhelpful cliche but it is so true.

How many of your have babies that can self settle to sleep already? I am actually very lucky that DS sleeps well but he needs to be fed or rocked to sleep and then gently laid in the cot. If I lie him straight in his cot, or on me, or in the pram he will not get himself off to sleep. I actually love feeding and rocking him to sleep at the moment but I am vaguely concerned about building bad habits. I cannot remember what my other two were like at this stage.

sparkly that sounds horrendous. I really hope the AB have kicked in for you and you've got some relief.

arti you're right. But the thing is, it seems that theyre reaching milestones somewhere I between the two ages so it's difficult to know where they are iyswim. 10 Seb sounds like he's a little ahead of Alice. She certainly hasn't reached out for anything (and I think DD1 was MUCH older before she did that) and I can't wait for a smile. I feel like she's nearly there. But you see, that's a six week milestone, so he's ahead of his corrected age.
And you have nothing to feel guilty of by getting some sleep.
. I'm a witch and incapable of coping without a decent sleep, especially over a prolonged period of days.
Arti A is self soothing here apart from occasional rocking. She pretty much refuses dummy. I think the spell in the NNU helped. But if I'm honest, DD1 was the same. I won't ever post that again as I know how sole destroying it is to read if youre struggling with sleep

Re corrected age: your baby would have been considered full-term from 37 weeks. So the 40 week 'correction' doesn't match? Unless that's accounted for?

Re switching to fully bfing: it's my understanding that your boobs will only supply what's demanded, so at some point you're going to have to do 48 hours in bed with her until she's got her order in. On the bf boards the are some qualified lactation consultants who patrol so post there? They'll be well informed re what signs mean she's 'ready'. It's worth remembering that all bf babies go through these slightly fussy feedathons when a growth spurt happens and the fussiness and long/ unsatisfactory feeds are part of establishing a higher supply.

I put DD down for all daytime naps swaddled up and she drifts off to sleep. In between sleep a d feeding she is miserable and crying. At night she never settles unless upright on me. I've raised the mattress 45 degrees as per reflux tips cause she is showing a lot of the signs. I can't sleep with her on me and at five weeks I know she is past that 'just born' stage and the transition will just get harder. I feed her at night, wind and swaddle her, after 15 mins or so she starts crying and it becomes a wail. My OH found me roaring crying at the side of the bed for the second night in a row, I have bl

Continued... I have had half term with 2 DSs to contend with and I can't deal with the lack of sleep or seeing her so unsettled. I just want to enjoy her. Sorry for rant, I just feel like 2 children's worth of experience accounts for F all & on top of all that my breast feeding has been a disaster and the FF is probably what is making her so unhappy.

Some of it has chopped off. Basically she only settled at night if upright on me.

bood - Nathanael is the same. Can't offer any pearls of wisdom but your not on your own x

sparkly it makes sense about the 37 weeks at full term. But they count corrected age from 40 weeks. DD1 was born at 38 weeks and she wasn't two weeks behind (but then not a week ahead either !).
I may just post on the bf board. Although she's having an 'off' feeding day anyway.

Anyone's baby have the most revolting smelling farts? I mean really nasty. And lots of them. She's always been windy but the smell is new. She's only pooing once a week too, but her last BM was Monday.

bood I know you've probably said already, but are you mixed feeding or solely ff? Have you tried moving her ff feed to earlier in the day if it's night she seems more uncomfortable. Or, trying a different formula? I appreciate I'm probably saying stuff you've already tried.

I really feel for all the sleep strugglers .

nofork I'm now exclusively FF as she had a terrible latch and I couldn't hack the cut nipples etc so expressed and used nipple shields & my supply went from too much with my sons to drying up completely with my DD.

She had dreadful constipation once we went exclusively FF so I changed to constipation aptimal which has sorted that problem. She has seemed unsettled digestion wise from the beginning.

By the way nofork foul smelling wind was one of the ways I knew she was constipated plus the red faced pushing but she only went 3 days without. Even on BF my DSs went daily so I expected the floodgates to open with FF..

Bood What does your dd sleep in Moses basket or cot? Also does she take a dummy. I managed to settle Teddy for sleep with a dummy. I had to try three different brands first though. Also his Moses basket has a rocking stand which has proven very useful.

What is this aptamil constipation you speak of ?

Teddy was constipated so I gave him cow and gate comfort. He had regular loose bowel movements for 8 days but for the past 48 hrs we have had no bm. He is very red and really smells when he passes wind. I'm not sure whether to change formula again

its Aptimal Colic & constipation - the white one, its tricky to find but she now has 1-2 movements a day after struggling. now i am worried i should try the reflux one but that can cause constipation as can baby gavsicon. you have to go up to the faster teat as its thicker. my son was exclusively breast fed for 6 month but he had reflux though not bad.

i am very reliant on the dummy as i think it is settling her tummy. I am very glad my nips aren't doing that job. She is in a moses basket.

i am horrible to live with right now so i hope things improve.

Bood I'm just reading my downloaded copy of The Wonder Weeks - can't link on my kindle - it basically warns you about the age related cognitive development stages your baby goes through up til age 63 weeks, which are classically accompanied by 'clingyness, crankiness, and crying'. The first starts at 5 weeks, so there's probably not much you can do about her temper but iirc she will become interested in pattern and geometric shapes so you can put some high contrast patterns in her line of sight and it will facilitate the development. It won't make her more intelligent or less fussy but it will be nice for her. Other advice is to just keep responding to intensified needs, they will pass and it isn't habit forming.

Really recommend the book, saved my sanity last time with DS thinking I was doing it all wrong. Lent it to a mate - a Dr- who was similarly clueless and similarly relieved when she read it. Might just check I've recalled the specifics of this one- but it def starts at 5 wks.

I haven't started yet but I will be trying the book by she who shall not be named on mumsnet. It worked for ds1 I started her routines from week 6

sparkly thanks a mil, I'll check it out. I followed a mixture of intution and some popular baby manuals with last two and had one text book son and one who evetually surcomed and is a champion sleeper and all round bright and happy little man now. i guess im so thrown cause i assumed i would always be able to make it better with experience which is not the case. She is getting more unsettled though which is classic reflux as well but interesting that there is a development milestone at 5 weeks!

Okay, just checked band the 5 wks thing is actually related to sorting out all sensory inputs, so it depends on your baby's personality what they'll enjoy most - extra massage, music, movement, bright colours etc.... They recommend experimenting and paying particular attention to the fact that the baby can now get overstimulated. I recall now DS loved pattern and shape but when he was tired even eye contact could really upset him. Cue lots of 'helpful' comments about autism (he isn't but so fucking what if he was) from perennially supportive family and MiL...

She seemed to be 'ok' with rocking round the kitchen to 'why does it always rain me' on random selection whilst my other hand dished up bolognese, sterilised bottles and cleaned hob... Lol how's that for over stimulation - no choice sometimes !
On a serious note, as a baby she seems super sensitive & probably gets over stimulated more easily... My mum would kill me for over analysing which she claims she never did on any of us 9!!

9?! Kudos. Still, she didn't have your babies, did she?

This is very true. If one thing the last 5 weeks has taught me its how very individual these little people are.