April 2013 - We've all had our babies now. Let the (hard work) fun commence!

[HadALittleFaithBaby]

Thought I'd take the liberty of starting a new thread since the last one filled. So mark your places, get comfy and prepare for a few sleepless nights!

In particular we think of Empress and little Sam - hoping and praying he's coming home! :)

Lol, I said that'd be the short version! I have become a mummy-bore who recounts every cough and splutter!

Hi edin

I'm up as Lucy's colds awful and the only way she will sleep close her eyes for thirty seconds is upright in her swing.

You haven't created a monster at five weeks,Lucy slept on my chest for weeks due to reflux, shesnow11 weeks and when not producing bucketfuls of snot, she self settles lots and sleeps fine.
I'm still a believer in that the first three months are about reassurance and cuddles and interestingly a hv who I spoke to said if you take both extremes of parenting in the early days, so military precision routine through to hippy chick go with the flow flower power then at six months both babies were roughly at the same stage. :)

"This too shall pass" my favourite all encompassing baby saying.

Hi edin - hate to say it but I'm so glad to read your post! Am in a very similar situation. P has good / bad daytimes- sometimes he sleeps all day, others he has really bad trapped wind and is grizzly all day. At night he has NEVER slept for more than 2.5 hours- I keep reading about lots of sleep on this thread, and the girls in my Nct group are getting 6 hours in a row- but I usually get 2 hours between feeds, which means 1.5 hours of sleep a go now he's asleep and I'm wide awake!

I'm also finding myself feeling really distant from DH which is upsetting me. I know he's tired too and busy at work but I just feel that I, and to an extent the baby, are just so far down his agenda. My 30th birthday is coming up and he's barely mentioned it, he's playing in his band all of the weekend (he could have booked the weekend off ages ago- he just didn't think to, which makes me feel really unimportant). We've not had sex since the baby- but I just don't feel we've got any intimacy at all at the moment- it's really getting me down (I'm fine normally but at half 4 in the morning when he's asleep, the baby's asleep and I'm not I've got too much time to think!) I don't really want to talk to my friends / family in real life as I don't want them to think badly of him. I'm sure it'll be fine- just feeling a bit low at the moment x

Morning all! edin have you read The Wonder Weeks? It suggests babies have these developmental 'leaps' and 5 weeks is one of them. I struggled to put Faithlet down around that time. It will get better!

After settling at 10, Faithlet only woke at 4! She's had a feed, just settling her now for transfer again. 6 hours kill, can't complain!

Just went downstairs to make a cup of tea as I couldn't sleep- dog had shat all over the floor. Magic x

Wishful sorry to hear about OH, have you say down and had a word? WRT sex could he be waiting for you to instigate?? As for your birthday is he normally good at these things? It can be hard when men don't seem to prioritise us/baby/both but I guess for some having a baby is a big thing that only seems real after baby is born, whereas we have (generally) 9 months to get used to/bond.

Sleep wise I personally think (don't shoot me everyone) that half of it could be routines but its also just each baby

I have friends with 2+ children that have done everything the same each time re: feeding and routine etc but have had completely different sleepers each time.

Hunter sleeps from 5-6 hours on average and I don't think it's anything special we are doing (He came home from SCBU going 4 hours), so I'm fully expecting the next DC to not sleep!

Thank you for the replies ladies!

faith I will check out the wonder weeks, thanks. It is reassuring that you went through the same, DS was really clingy yesterday, which isn't like him.

ratbag again, it's so reassuring that, cold aside, things have got so much easier for you. I remember your posts on the horrors of reflux very well but had lost track of how things are going for you now. I am really interested in your midwife's comment and feel good that my 'any port in a storm' parenting probably isn't doing any harm. I totally agree on the first few weeks and am particularly taken by this.

wishful sorry to hear things are a bit rough for you. I totally sympathise with not being able to drop off to sleep when they do, even though you are exhausted - so frustrating! WRT comparing your situation to other people's, remember that (probably not so much here but certainly in real life) people want to show their best face to the world: if anyone asks how DS sleeps I focus on the times he sleeps not too badly as I have some idea that otherwise they will judge me (I do know that's a bit daft). I also feel (are you me??) a bit distant from DH, or rather that he's a bit distant from us. He has been an amazing practical support (tidying up, making dinner etc) but I think he feels a bit left out. When I spoke to him he pointed out that by chosing to BF I have made it difficult for him to be much more involved at this stage (particularly when we are in this cycle of just eating so frequently). The conversation also threw up that BF means my life is totally ruled by DS while DH can, sleep deprivation aside, carry on with lots of his pre-baby life and routines, and that I resent that a bit. We have not DTD either (I feel less sexy/sexual than I ever have in my life) and I know that he would like to - the practicalities of even just finding the time just blow my mind (last night I went to bed at 8 and he will be up to start the day in 15 minutes - we were never both in bed at the same time).

Jeez, another mammoth post from me. I wonder if I'll ever be concise again

Oh dear what a badly timed cross-post! Sorry wishful! WRT sleep I take no credit for that, I think it's down to individual babies. The only things we try are consistency with bath and bottle and I make sure she sleeps in the day.

Sex wise I know what you mean. DH and I aren't sharing a bed and I miss that intimacy. We haven't had sex yet either..

Re your birthday, you probably need to be blunt! IME lots of men don't get subtle hints. Tell him how you're feeling

I'm awake now - Faithlet woke me groaning in her sleep so I figured I'd express..

Also, take what nct friends say with a large pinch of salt! A girl at mine yesterday told me her DS is doing 8-8 (9 week old ebf) and has been for two weeks. Honestly tho she looked terrible and frankly if I was getting that much sleep I wouldnt have bags under my eyes, no make up on etc etc. some people just feel the need to exaggerate!

Bona or maybe baby doesn't stop crying all day?!

Morning all.
Wishful- sorry you're having a rough time. Regarding sleep I'm totally with you, Alex has never slept for more than 2 hours in between feeds, so I get 1-1.5 hours depending how restless he is. I don't really have any advice ds1 was just he same, but you are definitely not alone.
Have you sat down with your dh and talked? Easier said than done I know. But maybe trying explain how disconnected you feel may help, he maybe feeling exactly the same way and want to improve things but not know how. X

Alex is feeding, -what a surprise - planning to spend all day in the garden and get the paddling pool out for ds1.

I can remember who asked but I have very fast letdown also, milk sprays everywhere, I use tomee tipee breast pads and have a muslin under my boob so I can some of the 'spray' spray into that if Alex is struggling.

wishful and edin same here.
I just feel like in my new role as 'Mummy' I don't feel so much like a wife.
As well as looking after BabyCandy and going to baby groups, I cook, clean, do laundry & food shopping. This is around the two hourly feeds! Then I'm up all night with DD so DH can sleep through.
Don't get me wrong, I don't resent doing any of this - but it bugs me that when he is free he doesn't appear to prioritise us.

Hi edin

I look back on some of my reflux posts when I was at breaking point and even though it was only three to four weeks ago it very much feels like it was never that bad, it obviously was at the time, but now were much further on then it's just a distant bad memory. I agree that babies are just different wrt sleeping etc.

Me and my DH make a point of at least twice a week being in bed at the same time so 8pm so we can watch crap in bed, catch up, laugh etc, we have done the deed a couple of times, but have also had lots of intimate occasions without going all the way. Sometimes though, I'm just too knackered and tell him so.

Like candy I have to say although I love being mummy I'm terrified of losing myself too, but then as I'm going back to work in sept I guess I'm thinking ill be back to my usual self. :)

Hi just wondering if anyone has thought of taking their baby s swimming yet? I'm not sure what the advice is? Alex has been gurgling away in the paddling pool so it got me thinking.

mama I'm thinking of going swimming in the next few weeks as long as I can convince someone else to come too. DD loves swimming but obviously can't swim completely independently yet, so I'll need someone to watch her while I watch H.

I'm making the most of the last day of my twenties (30 tomorrow) by going for coffee and cake!

We'll be going swimming week after next - we're off on holiday to the coast with my Dad, sister and nephew. Need to get her a swimming costume!

I'm planning to wait till 12 weeks for swimming as there is eczema both sides of family so rather avoid the chlorine for a tiny while, not sure if the link is proven, might even be made up in my head :p

Cot went well last night, settled by 10, woke briefly at 2 then properly at 5am. Was first night me & OH been to bed/got up at same time. Was nice!

wishful I've been fairly lucky sleep wise, but even so the strain on our relationship has been huge. I feel like I'm almost constantly either doing baby stuff or housework, the day goes so fast and feeds are 2 hourly in the day normally. Also, I moved in late pregnancy & have no friends here to moan too, feels like all I am is a mum now, but I know this phase won't be forever.

Likecandy thank u for the link, will definately invest in some of those! Can't keep buying the lansinoh ones, they cost an arm and a leg! Tried the sainsburys beast pads and they were cheap but awful!

Teapig I managed to get her off to sleep at 10 last night, so not far off the 8.30 target

Sofia ended up sleeping for an amazing 7 hours in a row last night! She then slept for a further 2 hours after a 6 minute feed (which she was still half asleep for). I'm not sure if it was an effect of the jabs though, we'll see how she does tonight.

Wishful, edin and likecandy its good to know i'm not the only one in a similar situation with dp... I think he feels as he doesn't feed her he is not as needed as me. Tried getting him to do evening bath, but as he gets in at 8pm (leaves house at 5am) it was just too late and she ended up screaming every time and she usually loves her bath. We have also not dtd yet, to be honest I don't really want to! I also get a bit upset that he still goes out for drinks after work friday and is often out at weekends too. I just don't understand how he could not want to be with his little girl.

Mama I have been thinking about taking Sofia swimming, she has the cutest pink swim suit with bright fish on.. Im desperate to put it on her! She loves the bath and has done since she was born, can't wait to take her for a splash in the pool.

username glad the first night in the cot went well! We have not got Sofia a cot yet, am waiting until she outgrows the moses basket which will not be long considering the rate she is growing!

Just debating whether to get a cot I can take the side off to co-sleep.. I think some people have used the ikea gulliver (sp?) one for this, will have to have a look.

wishful sleep is elusive in this household too. DD had some 4 hour sleeps and even a couple of 5s but is now back to 3 hour stints or less so I'm up at least twice in night and findimg it exhausting. Hang on in there, you're not alone and I'm sure it will pass.

Teapiglet has to go for a hospital scan to check her hips as she has an extra crease in the back of her leg, has anyone else had this? I'm sure I read others had this too but can't check back easily on my phone.

We went to baby massage today and after screaming the place down at first DD really enjoyed it.

Teapig we are starting baby massage soon... Sofia still has very sensitive skin, still flinches when I touch her arms/legs sometimes so i'm not sure what she is going to think of it! She also had scan on her hips, it was fine, just like an ultrasound. This was due to a clicky hip at birth. I have been told to look out for extra creases on the legs too.

Mama - basically you can take them swimming any time I think and most swim classes I've looked into happily take babies from 6 weeks. Not sure how it would work for Alex but even based on adjusted age he'd now be big enough. Am sure it would be great for both of you.

Teapig and wishful (hope I have name checked correctly!) I am also not getting much sleep and DS is 11 weeks now. He goes down quite reliably at 7.30ish and has a dream feed at 10ish but is then always up at about 2 and about 5. On a good night the wakes are short and he goes back down at 5 for another couple of hours. On a bad night he's up for an hour at 2, wakes at 5 then doesn't go back down. It is so tiring! I'm not even sure the dream feed does much other than push his wake from 1 to 2.

I've got the Gina ford book now and am going to try to follow the main parts ( tho wont be religious about it and won't do any cc) to make sure he gets plenty of feeds in the day - to be honest I think he already does - and doesn't sleep too much.

Anyway, am tired but feeling like I am becoming better at coping with feeling like this!! Do you think one night they'll just sleep through?!?

Mama, I took Lucy to swimming lessons at 7 weeks, she's loving it. I would advise to get a baby warma by konfidence though (cheap on ebay) it helps keep them warm and they're no way as slippery in the swimming pool to hold onto. :)

Anyone else got a clicky baby? Sometimes when I pick boo up her joints in Her arms click, sometimes when lying her down her back/shoulder/neck clicks too, the dr said its nothing to worry about so long as it doesn't hurt her. :)

edinfirst Might be going through a growth spurt, there tends to be one around 6 weeks, but this can vary. If a growth spurt takes place, feeding will tend to increase quite a bit, sleep can be increased or decreased, depending on the baby - it's something to bare in mind. My LO who is 9 weeks tomorrow sometimes just settles after being on one of us sometimes. They are still very young and sometimes just want a bit of comfort/security, I think.

Hollie had her jab today. Hated seeing her cry poor little thing. She settled OK for a bit but then has been quite restless. Avoided Calpol til an hour ago but she was really quite upset, so felt it was best.

I hope she'll be feeling better soon. My Mum is helping which is really nice as she knows how upset I get when seeing her sad.

after another unsettled evening with the babies crying constantly we are going to try sleeping them in their own room tomo night.
even with curtains drawn, fans and air con machine my bedroom isn't below 26°. i think its safer in a cooler room on their own, its coolest room in flat.
i feel sad! but i do think its best x

its now finally cooled down to 20° but of course the babes who are used to going to sleep at 7 have cried all night and now are awful!