March 2013: Smiles, sleep & excellent feeding.....the thread of wishful thinking!

[SoYo]

Well we may as well start the thread on a positive note before the grumbling about the little darlings begins!!!

I think the getting grumpier as the day progresses is a standard thing. Little Miss Fartypants is currently having a tantrum, because a) it's the witching hour and b) her dad is committing the heinous crime of putting clothes on her. We had a bit of a hellish afternoon with her point-blank refusing to nap, yet bitching because she was knackered. Eventually managed a twenty minute catnap after a measly two ounce 4pm feed, then she seemed perfectly cheerful.

zig we often have a late afternoon catnap on me, I find it's best to limit it to no more than forty five minutes, and wake up at least an hour before bedtime. Then it's more just briefly recharging her batteries so she can handle bedtime, rather than properly catching up on sleep.

Glad it's not just me that's broody. But I think the man would have a heart attack if I said I was pregnant now. I'm 95% certain I'm not going to be able to persuade him we need a second. Although he only agreed to the first because I was, according to him, "pulling a sulky face", so perhaps he'll be easier to convince than I think.

worsester does your friend think DD should be going through the night with no milk at all? Because that's highly dependent on whether you have a baby that agrees to eat lots during the day. Mine? No chance. plonko's? Far more likely.

I was reading about the skills babies develop from one week to the next, and realised we need a rattle! And some finger puppets! And things with crazy patterns! I was about to buy half of amazon, when the man pointed out that his wealthy father is visiting this week, and all we have to do is steer him in the direction of Mothercare. I feel a bit mercenary about this, but as the man's mother told me "If you go shopping with his dad, and you see something you like, just casually mention how much you like it..." I figure I shouldn't feel too guilty.

And best news of the day: my dad's babysitting on Tuesday, so we are eating out then going to see Star Trek for my birthday.

Worsester your maternity nurse sounds as confidence-inspiring as my health visitor! I don't really like this idea of pushing devopments at our kids. They'll do it all in their own good time! We can gently encourage them to try to sleep through, but if wet nappies and empty bellies wake them then so be it - they won't still be doing it when they're 20 so what's the big deal? All babies are different, as Stormy points out. Will definitely be checking out the baby dry nappies to see if they make a difference!

SoYo thanks again for the advice. I'm going Tokelau POAS purely because I think I could get a false result now. DS began life as a negative result after all. If I leave it a week I should get a genuine negative and may even start my monster period in the meantime. Otherwise I'll becoming Zig and just starting the packet.

I've decided to be philosophical about this. It's made me realise that I definitely 100% want another (but not now!) and pregnancy/labour doesn't scare me. I'd just have to be rate brazen about getting up the duff so quickly, and become some kind of non-sleeping supermum.

Well we've had a day of relatively successful napping, in that we managed 3x40 mins and a 2 hr whopper! Amazing the difference it makes to bath/bedtime. I'm also realising, the more I get to know DD, that she's pretty damn independent. Most of the time, if she's grumpy, it seems to be because she wants to be left alone! No cuddles, rocking or shushing for mini-v, she seems to be saying "I would like you to entertain me, but whatever you do, DO NOT TOUCH ME". She'll accept it when bfing, but with a bottle she wants to be flat on her back in her cot. It probably sounds great to a lot of people, she's happiest when self-soothing, but it makes me feel a little bit sad. I find myself stealing cuddles when she's not paying attention, like when she's dozy and milk drunk first thing.

Ps, on the subject of broody, I was expecting the "I'd do it again tomorrow" feeling to have worn off by 9 weeks, but it hasn't. If it were financially viable and I thought I could persuade DH, I really WOULD do it again tomorrow

A two hour nap! I am dying of jealousy here.

Bathtime went alright, except for the usual screaming while getting dressed. Supper was less of a success, involving a milk fountain and a full change of bedclothes. Total milk intake today = fourteen ounces. With two night feeds to go that are typically three ounces each, this means I have my fretting hat on yet again.

Just had a chat with the man about possibly having another. He's adamant it's not happening, and seems perplexed that people actually have kids with the expectation of enjoying the experience. I am hoping he'll view things a bit more positively when she's a bit bigger, more interactive, and less prone to vomiting all over him.

stormy I wish I could have enjoyed the 2 hrs more, but I was on constant tenterhooks waiting for her to wake up as she snoozed past 3 hrs since last feed. However, I know I was lucky to get it! And I'm sure if you managed to persuade your man just by looking sulky, it shouldn't be too tricky to get him to agree again!

Could you look sulky whilst wearing a frilly bra?

Possibly, plonko, but most of my underwear is more functional than sexy, and I can't fit into any of his frilly underthings, because his waist is smaller than my leg (no exaggeration; I measured). Will put the acquisition of alluring knickers on my to-do list!

Vj I know what you mean about the tenterhooks. It's always at the 45 minute mark for us, she's very predictable (and frustrating) in that respect.

I wasn't deliberately looking sulky...

Eig that sounds grand! Good for you. Ask him whether he has any tips on how to get babies to sleep. You should help him get in the baby frame of mind being as he's going to be a grandpa soon! Wonder if he'll change nappies...
Worc your bottle tactic sounds like one to try. Today's attempt took ages as we were waiting for her to be good humoured, but it was still a fail. She did however tolerate the teat in her mouth for a few mins. Worc did you do the feed or was it dh?
Soyo so our hormones are normal ish again after six weeks? Does that mean I can't really blame feeling shite on my hormones and that I might actually be feeling shite for real?
Our biggest news today is that we have finally made it through to watching final episode of master chef. It was raining at the time. Earlier in day we managed an hour's walk around a broad (where we discussed how we're finding parenthood) and a picnic afterwards.
Does anyone else still feel like there's movement in their tummy where their baby once was? Maybe it's still organs rearranging themselves....

vj do you think that because I've not thought 'I'd do it all again tomorrow' at all since dd's birth it's a sign my family is now complete? Closet I've come is seeing dads with little boys and thinking 'it'd be nice for dh to have a son too'. Having said that dh seems delighted with having a daughter. She's already a daddy's girl :-)

Eig my BF was at a wedding yesterday at the Nat Hist Museum! Apparently the whole wedding (for her DH's rich cousin) cost something like £80,000

I have a feeling that I'm doing something wrong... DS and I are vegging out in front of the tv and he's playing on my iPad and DD has been continuously feeding and snoozing on me. Not long (30-45 mins) between each feed and they've only lasted 6-12 mins each time.

I just looked back at my app and DD feeds on average 15 times a day!!! Surely, surely that can't be right? I suppose that does include where I've put that she's done 9 mins on one side and then straight away another 8 on the other (making those figures up). She spends about 4-5 hours on the boob each day and that's gone down slightly from average of 5 a couple of weeks ago.

This afternoon she's not let me put her down at all and has just been feeding constantly since 7ish. My v Dear Dad came round unexpectedly this afternoon and held her (she cried about a third of the time) while I made and ate tea for me and DS and also stayed to help put him to bed. Invaluable help. I was worried about doing it myself but was going to bite the bullet whatever the practicalities were but I really did need his help. I hoped she'd have napped not on me but she really doesn't seem to like her bouncer, which was DS's and he'd loved it :(

I just want her to sleep now as my nipples feel mashed. I damn well hope this is just the 6 week growth spurt.

This is massively cross posted probably as I started writing it at 4pm (I'm on my phone) :(

eco I'm sure that not feeling broody yet has no bearing on whether or not you will feel broody in future. I've always wanted more than one, and close together if possible, probably because I'm one of 5 and whilst I don't remember loving it as a kid, it's so much fun having loads of siblings now we're grown up and can get drunk together!

wing one side immediately followed by the other is definitely one feed, but it still sounds exhausting. Im sure youre doing nothing wrong, whilst dd is pretty predictable on the whole, I still have days and evenings when I think "are you ACTUALLY serious? Hungry again?" Such is the nature of demand feeding. I am assured this improves?!? Roll on that day.

Was it here I saw a discussion of breast-feeding suitable wedding outfits? Anyone had a look at "izzy's mum" website? There are some lovely (and reasonable) dresses on there.

Well I put her down at 9:20. She woke up at 9:40. DH came home at 9:45. I have raged at him because I am seriously p-ed off at the way today has gone. I fed her again and put her down asleep five mins ago. She woke up as I left the room and I'm now listening to her probably extracting herself from the swaddle and no doubt she'll cry within a few seconds.

ARGH :( I just want a damn break DD.

wing I hope you get/got your break? I'm at six/seven weeks and it is testing for us too. Hope that all those feeds make their way into her belly soon and make her very very sleepy. Fingers crossed for you.

I currently have not even entertained the idea of having another, this just seems too bloody difficult to do again, never mind if you already have a toddler demanding your attention too! I always thought I'd have 2 but currently 1 is looking very appealing!

MiniYo has been grazing all evening with 5minute snoozes in between & then wide awake demanding entertaining. We're currently trying to feed her to sleep (that's the royal we, DH is downstairs watching a film) but no signs of snoozing yet!

Wing I hope she's fallen asleep.

Eco the hormones stop affecting our breathing/circulation/heart/clotting etc after 6 weeks but I'm pretty sure it takes a long time to feel normal again not sure I ever will because of the huge change in lifestyle, sleep pattern what bloody pattern and everything else that goes with it. As long as you still feel happy some of the time, can see the joy in things & want to wake up in the morning you're doing ok & very normal.

Right, I've been trying to get her to sleep for an hour but still no joy. This baby is trying to break me....it's a battle of wills! Luckily I'm armed with a large mug of now very cold tea and half a pack of dark chocolate digestives, I will win!

Oh wing. I know everyone says it but it does get better. I never thought it would when I was at your point but I'm now sat on my bed watching him sleep. He's been sleeping on his own in his crib since 8. They really do fall into their own pattern when they're ready. Doesn't help you now I know. Just leave bubs while you get yourself a cup of tea. She's quite safe even if she is crying. You can go to her once you've had a couple of minutes to breathe. And for what it's worth my little horror hated the bouncer until last week. You WILL be able to put them down for more than one minute without them crying very soon.

Oh wing, it's tough, isn't it!

As you know i also track feeds carefully. fwiw as comparison, MiniPud also spends an average of 3.5 to nearly 5 hours on the boob a day, but in 5-7 feeds. I count one feed as being the total within a session between naps, no matter if he does one side, both or even back again within that. I do try to keep him focused on the job in hand, so once he stops swallowing, if a blow on the cheek and a back rub doesn't get him going again, I will unlatch him and at least burp him to check for further hunger cues. Otherwise he's using me as a dummy and I don't want to greatly encourage that. I am quite firm about waking him up to go back on if he comes off after around 10 mins though (which he usually does) as I can see this is the end of my foremilk and start of slower letdown hind milk and don't want him only getting the former. A quick hand express is my way of checking this, usually can see the creamier whiter milk just starting to come through. Putting him back on usually illicits another 10-30 mins of feeding per side, sometimes bobbing off for burping along the way.

If you have good supply, might you have a bit too much foremilk, filling her up without the calories to stay full before she gets to the high calorie content end? Would it be worth expressing a little before she starts? What are her poos like - any tendency towards green and runny which can indicate this? She's growing well right? It's the hind milk which gives them the growth stuff (technical term there) so hence importance (ha, hilarious coming from me with the baby who won't grow right now I know) but also calories to sleep for longer periods. Don't know if any of that is helpful, sorry if teaching grandma etc and if it doesn't sound like a problem obv ignore. Just a thought.

Wing I'm totally in the same boat. Feeding every hour of the day and yet when he falls asleep and I take him off he wails. Gave him a bottle to try and fill him up - he still wailed. I'm currently 2 nights in to a 6 night solo stretch and wondering how on earth I'll survive please let it just be the 6 week growth spurt (how long does that last for?!)

Thanks all. This thread is a life saver. Well in the end I fed her to sleep after I wrote that last post so she went down at 10:30 and once again I woke up a couple of times before now but we went through till 3:40. Again, she wasn't crying when I got her up but had done a few poos (unusual for the night) which I didn't want to leak and had got her arms out so I though it best to change and feed her now.

Leni, I hope the 6 week growth spurt doesn't last six weeks!

I will take my app's stats with a pinch of salt. Pud, your advice is great and I'll have a proper read of it later. I've got the six week check up tomorrow so I'll try to get some advice from the HV. I thought hind milk let down happened before ten mins though? I was happy with my supply as often DD will have been on for 20-odd mins and fall off and I'll give a quick squeeze and more milk is there but now I'm not sure.

Milk is a minefield!

I didn't even bother with the bottle yesterday as she was being such a monkey. Right she's done 14 mins and is asleep so I'm going to try to put her down again...

Transfer fail. Why does everything that worked for the past few weeks seem to have stopped working??? :(

To give you other struggling six week people hope dd just slept from 2000 to 0400. Bearing in mind (last night and others) was 2330, 0330 and 0630 this is big news. And probably a one off
soyo thanks for the info. Interesting biology this baby making stuff. I feel joy at Dd's smiles, a long hot bath, a blue skied dawn and choc eclairs so I reckon I'm doing ok :-)

Oh wing it's a tricky night your end by the sounds of it. Why have things stopped working? Because they're contrary and like to keep us on our toes so we truly earn our mummy halos. We're having pretty yuck days of endless transfer fails resulting in little day time sleep. Is your lo still in your room for sleeping? Do you feed her in the room she sleeps in? After night feeds I sit dd upright for 15 mins in a quiet cuddle, swaddle, hold her face close to my chest and then transport her for popping her back. She then makes lots of elephant and farm yard animal noises but I ignore them. What are you doing? When what I'm currently doing stops working one day soon I may steal your tactic.
Hope you get some sleep for both of you soon.

Hi wing, just for clarification, I'm wondering whether you might have slight oversupply issues rather than anything else. Chatting with hv sounds a good plan, otherwise you might find some helpful thoughts here...

Oh, and re letdown, think we're all different, but miniPud falls off first time between 8 and 12 mins with alarming regularity, so that's just my stats. 7 feeds a day is our normal. Plus during growth spurts he feeds 9 times a day. However, as you can see we're apparently not normal and he still has a v small amount of formula (0-200mls per day usually).

Leni, how're you finding fenugreek, I've been on it a couple of days and think its helping already... Hard to know of course.

We've been up at 1 & 2 with noises that just needed shushing back to sleep, a feed at 3 (did write a post but then managed to delete) and feeding again now. Currently finding it very frustrating that DD is nearly 11 weeks & in the last 8 weeks her sleeping hasn't improved at all, in fact she's sleeping less during the day & no more at night. All other babies seem to be having some sort of natural improvement & I feel like I just be missing a trick or doing something wrong.