Dec 08 mums - any more for any more?

[JumpJockey]

New thread! Hope this is ok :)

Oh fuck it.

Sorry about the language, I blame Beans.

Quick rant: DD2 is driving me demented with her behaviour since DS was born. I know she has been usurped as the baby of the family and it must be hard but I'm at my wits end. She cries at the drop of a hat, moans and whines all the time about tiny things, she is also much more defiant than normal and refuses to do what she is told, she is obsessed with DS which is sweet but involves her making him cry a lot by over excitedly shoving her face in his and shouting/singing, she won't leave him alone when told and often wakes him, her lovely chatty personality has hidden and in its place is just whining and tantruming. I want to be a good mum at this difficult time for her but I find it hard to hide my irritation, annoyance and even anger. It's just horrid.

And now I will go away and breathe! Sorry to dump like that but she has been up since 6.30am just whining and crying and now DS is overstimulated and needs a nap but won't settle.

Beans & vag you filthy mares! Actually beans I totally agree with you

Arti, poor you and poor DD. I know from DS that are little people have a lot of emotions flying about at this age and they don't really know what yo do with them all. It's a big adjustment for her (all of you) and I guess she just doesn't know how to deal with it. She will settle in time not that helps much right now when you have a new baby and sleeplessness to deal with too. Thinking of you x

Oh and day 3 of the shred and I'm struggling to sit down and then get back up. Who knew I was this out of shape?

Vag, you're hilarious!
Well if someone's going share that kind of detail, it's our Beans! I wouldn't expect anything less
Lady I get the whole not interested in it when dp pisses you off. I am completely like that, and it's often due to the fact that he doesn't listen to me / pay me attention in the first place, then I'm totally annoyed and could think of nothing worse.
Well done Deids! I didn't.... ahem.... get up that first day as dh had an ultra early start and failed to tell me until it was too late as he forgot too (he gets out the door in 20min sometimes so I wouldn't have had time. Then this week he's had 2 on calls so not even home overnight / morning [sigh] I have compensated by cutting the and had green tea last night and a very lean meal. Will be up in the morn though.
Arti - sorry about dd2. I am led to believe it's fairly normal though. My bro has 3 and the middle one was a proper cow.... until just recently actually.... she's 10. But I also think she was pretty messed up from her mothers actions, as they all were, but she's turned out fine. Lovely in fact. Your tribe has a loving stable home - all will be fine - sorry I'm not much help.

Arti, can you give her a job to do with DS? For example, she is always the person who has to get the nappy, hand you the wipes, stick the tapes down and put the nappy sac in the bin. That way she feels important and useful, with lots of connection to the baby. As far as the whining goes I think you just have to ride it out. Her little world has been rocked in the last 2.5 weeks and she will feel that you only have eyes for DS, even though you spend loads of time with her. Can you spend some time with just her, with A elsewhere, so she feels special? It feels so against the grain to go out of your way with them in the face of vile behaviour, but it is easier for you all than the other.

In terms of defiance, I (try to) look disappointed and say "oh, it's a shame that you won't put your shoes on / stay in bed / leave the cat alone as I was hoping we could go to the park / shop / watch a film / do a jigsaw, but that won't work if you can't listen to me and do as I ask". That gets the right response some of the time, which is better than nothing. I also feel as though I am shouting less and feeling the love more for the kids.

DD2 was only 18m when DS was born, so still a baby, but DS now is quite a biddable fellow and I expect your DD2 might respond to this type of treatment. Worth a try? It's awful when they are wilful, though, isn't it, and I have to work hard not to lose my rag and yell at them, which makes us all feel shocking. Hugs to you XXXX

And as we all know, I have shouted at all of them so hard a bit of wee has come out. I don't want splashdown when I am mid rant, so I try to avoid them

Sybs they are some good tips & advice. I'm going to use one of those myself. When Arti was explaining dd2 I was thinking that sounds exact like my dd without a new baby involved! I think my dc's respond a lot better to that kind of thing too. I was doing that yesterday in a slightly more shouty kind of way I bet, but it still got them in the car and cleaning up the 5000 balls they'd been playing with in the garden with the tents.

Went to a "what we are doing to prepare preschoolers for school" meeting yesterday. They are doing loads to prepare which is nice as ds starts on the 5th with only 8 half days then straight into it full time. I'm going to book extra sessions in Aug for him at preschool as otherwise it will be quite a sudden case of school every day! They actually gave me a heads up that will be offering bogofs in Aug which they didn't have to divulge so that was nice.

Pmsl at splashdown!! Pardon the pun!

Thanks for your advice and sympathy ladies. Sybs, I loved your idea about giving DD2 jobs and I spent the day making her feel important, the upshot is the video I know you saw on FB, it was a lovely moment and I thank you for it.

I too PMSL at splashdown, except I didn't because I can proudly inform you guys that my pelvic floor is now officially a 4/5 which is apparently pretty good for a mum of three! I was seeing a physio throughout pregnancy because Iwas worried it was weakening and she coached me through keeping it strong and today I saw her again and she had a feel while I clenched (fun times!) and said i was 4/5 and this is pretty extraordinary for three weeks post-partum. It's all thanks to her exercises really, sometimes I do love the NHS.

Scan day girls. Cross your fingers and toes.

Everything crossed for you Jam!

Good luck, Jam. My fingers etc are crossed for you.

Oh my gosh, good luck Jammie, I hope you get to see a healthy and active little being. xxx

Good luck jammy. Thinking of you and sending much love xxx

Good luck! Thinking of you. Think I might see if I can see a physio, Arti. What a great idea.

Sybs, your suggestions were amazing. Will bear them in mind for arrival of this new one. What a star xx

Woohoo jam so exciting.

That physio sounds good Arti. I did kegels all the way through with ds1 & was fine afterwards. Didn't do so much with ds2. To be honest I wasn't too bad since ds2 except after I started exercising again. I think I've compounded it by trying to wee too much before I exercise now. Iyswim, I tend to force my bladder to completely empty and even go a couple more times just in case before I run. I think that may have made things a little less capable of holding things. In other areas everything is fine & dandy and still erm as they were. ..apparently .

I am so tired today. I Love really need to go to bed earlier. Having a coffee now that should help. Weather is gorgeous here. Going to take the boys out after school either the beach, or a little miniature land place where we have annual passes.

Poor ds1 pooed his PJs this morning. No reason why, just woke up and there it was. He said he had a little tummy ache but he seemed well enough and ate his breakfast. Gross though, dh woke him and didn't think to contain things so ds1 unbeknownst managed to literally walk it through from his room to the toilet to t highest e bathroom. His room still smells of poo, but I'm sure I've got it all now. Bless him poor thing. He wanted to wash his own PJs because he didn't want me to deal with it.

Right better go, I need to get to the garden center. I've got several tomato plants to still plant out and some sunflowers to sort into bigger pots.

I HAVE FOUND A VARICOSE VEIN ON MY THIGH! Am gutted. It's not like I have nice legs anyway, but this is even less attractive! Sob.

Poor DS1, Vag. How moritfying for him.

Anyone know where I can buy a 14 ft oval trampoline for the kids please????

Oh & Sybs that advice was fantastic. I'm going to try it to. I love ds2 to bits and I love his badass fuck you all attitude....but it can also cause quite a bit of, how shall Iput this...tension between he and I. We argue on a regular basis about everything. Yesterday he refused to believe that my bike was where I had put it outside the roadside school gate but instead demanded to go out the other gate as that was where he said the bike was. This morning he refused to believe today was a half day at school and that tomorrow is the weekend. Apparently I was lying. Not sure why I would lie but according to him tomorrow is not the weekend & daddy does not have the day off!

Blimey Beans that's huge, I think ours is 10ft (3m diameter) & it's pretty big. Bigger the better though so hope you find one. Have you looked on Amazon?

Good luck Jamster!

Great news on the tight twot Arti!

That's really cute re ds wanting to wash his pj's vag - sweet boy.

Think toys r us has trampoline sale most of the time don't they beans? Dcs here wanted one but dh against. Wow the one thing he thinks unsafe. Odd man. He's do nonchalant about most things, but am happy to support this one!

Dh has the morning off (shocking) as he has agreed to work all day tmrw. But we need the cash after my auto incident.

He took ds to preschool in bike trailer and dd along too do I could take the ddog out. Deids I've decided against the shred. Dog just looks at me all glum if I do exercise at home. My failure at 30sec slim made me realize I'm best to head out the house. Plus kids (like yours did) tried to often do it with me but they'd just fight about floor space and get in the way.
Am gonna commit to 45 min a day tho and make effort to go in the mornings as then I don't have anxiety all day that I may not get time etc.

Tight twot bahaha.

Rubes a friend of mine got a trampoline with some space aged system on it that means it doesn't have a hard edge as her dentist sister freaked her out about mouth injuries. Also despite all these safety nets I think these trampolines are still pretty dangerous. But the boys are pretty good on it and look out for each other. Ds2 has started copying his brothers gymnastics tricks and is doing a front flip and almost landing on his feet. To be honest I'm more nervous about them climbing our tree. Ds1 goes right to the top & ds2 is not far behind. But its good for them, keeps em from using ourlivingroom as a softplay helps them extend themselves.

Wow. Even trampolines advancing. Yeah I know what you mean, I think its just dhs pet hate as he sees so many injuries from them however I suspect they are mostly kids with irresponsible half wit parents. Sensible kids have great fun on them. My bro has had a big one from early on and his do those flippy things. Scares the life out if me!
Just off phone from parents. So pleased they are planning to move near the bro. Prob take an age to sell house now. Hope not.
Dh gone to work for the night again.... Until tomorrow arvo. (Sigh)