March 2013- here we go....

[Oodsigma]

Welcome old & new to the other side!

I'll start with a stats list!

Ood -ds 7/3/13, dc4! Elcs

If anyone wants to add any more details feel free!

Plonko i should point out that only OH and DS have consumed boobyjuice in this house! OH purely for his vomiting, which actually worked, and he did it as a shot because of his squeamishness. However I do think that drinking a cow's boobyjuice is probably worse; it's all in the mind...

DS is going to be 5 weeks on friday and yesterday he learned to smile - and it wasn't wind because it was with the eyes! I almost died with joy maybe it's to make up for his habit of suddenly starting to thrash during feeding but not unlatching, giving 'titty twister' a literal meaning he now does it when we're having a chat (smiling not twisting my nipple), it's a proper game changer.

I really feel for everyone struggling with bottles, i wish i could suggest anything helpful. Do your DC's take bottles from other people or just not at all?

I'm definitely battling a phobia of going out. We've booked to visit the PIL on monday so I'm going to have to get over it pretty sharpish. I've just got DS sorted with feeding (and he still can't get enough from just boob in the 2 hours it takes each time so i end up with a banshee child whilst i rush to get him a top up) and now I'll have to sit in a bedroom with no tv for 8 hours a day at their house because I still can't stomach doing it in front of anyone. DS is currently throwing a strop about my boob, farting loudly and squealing like a pig being slaughtered...

I realised I never call him by his actual name - instead he's 'piglet', 'J. Piggleton', 'biggleswade', 'snoopus' etc. i'm worried he won't know what his real name is! I also have a strange recent thing where looking at OH's face freaks me out because it looks huge after I spend so much time looking at DS's face

leni I get the exact same feeling about DH's huge face! He doesn't seem to appreciate it when I tell him his face seems enormous to me! Hehe

leni yay for smiles! Our bottle issues aren't affected by who's giving the bottle either. Clinic in an hour. They better have some helpful suggestions...

DD is generally 'chicken', often with an adjective beforehand. Squeaky, sleepy, grumpy, wriggly. Hopefully when they're a bit bigger and it's more obvious they're real people rather than generic babies the names will come more naturally.

Speaking of which, they seem a lot more like real people when wearing proper clothes. Wing we have one pair of jeans from DD's grandmother, and various outfits with trousers and tops. All presumably are acceptable for girls because they all contain pink somewhere. It seems a bit too early to be worrying about dresses and tights.

stormy worry not I was crying in front of my three year old yesterday, he offered to get me some new boobie's from the shop if these ones hurt! He seems emotionally fine and god i cried half the time was feeding little one with this thrush and she still wants it. The thrush is a nightmare. Have you got a baby probiotic for her bottle, you just add a bit to the bottle and it helps get more good bacteria in their gut to fight the thrush. Other than that my personal view is the other things won't work and we have t tough it out. Also have a nightmare no feeding baby today who is just unhappy and it makes everything doubly hard so you have my sympathies. Big hug. We are having some big trouble early on with fighting illness in the early weeks so we'll find it a piece of cake in a few weeks time ( she tells herself too). My stars( in the ever reliable hello magazine!!) said I am going to start the month feeling like I am pushing a cart up a steep hill with just my nose! How true, but apparently it will get better......

My mother just helpfully rang having found out I had thrush... " I thought you were doing this silly breastfeeding business so she wouldn't get ill, will you give her the bottle now then.." as if I am some kind of idiot. Well that helped......

But Stormy, aren't DD's grandmother's jeans too big for DD? Hope the clinic goes well.

I currently have DD balanced over my shoulder and I'm actually typing with two hands on my ipad. It feels like freedom after normally having to type one-thumbed on my phone!

leni I thought I had a smile earlier but couldn't be sure. It will be interesting with our two having the same birthday we'll be able to compare them (not compete!) roughly as they get older!

I am going to try to put DD in her bouncer to sleep now as I want some lunch. How much do you want to bet she wakes up though?

Eig I am at what your mum said! My mum never bfed either, and neither did her two sisters nor did any of her friends as that's what was the done thing in the mid-late 70s. But she has been fairly tactful when asking me about BFing since DD has been born. Before then, both DH and DMum (who I should say I am extremely close to) were very pro FFing which I actually did help me when I turned to it with DS but I was worried that if I had had any problems with BFing this time round they would have pressurised me into FFing.

As an aside, DH and I were discussing the fact that it was normal for mums in the 70s not to BF as I think they saw it as an equality issue I.e. it meant the woman could go back to work like the man and wasn't tied to the baby. But do you the its the case now that many women (MC, educated as a general rule?) want to bfed but that's actually putting women's equality back? Discuss!

wingd Exactly, found some interesting research and I am a child of the 70's and a career women with a higher paying job than her partner. There is no question of me taking a year off work and ( ducking for cover) I of course want to give my child the best start but I'll do that with a clean loving home, a great nanny when I go back to work, lovely healthy food ... Not just breast milk which in my case at the minute is pumped full of the 4 different meds I take every morning so I can't be sure is better than formula and might be worse. I worked hard to be on an equal footing with the boys at work ( and do better) and I want to set my daughter the example that anything is possible if you work hard and gender shouldn't hold you back.

www.babble.com/baby/benefits-of-breastfeeding-baby-formula-feeding/

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/feb/10/breastfeeding-best-debate

I so want to kick this thrush though, back to docs tomorrow and thinking about the gentile violet option ....

I'll ramble about class, women's lib, and boobs when I'm feeling a bit less frazzled.

Went to the clinic, they were a bit stumped. Said to see the doctor, try the nystan again for the thrush, and try gaviscon. Now waiting for a callback from the doctor to see if they'll just get a prescription sorted or if I'll have to drag her all the way up there.

Blimey - the thread's moving too fast for me today!

FX for you stormy hope you can find something which will help soon.

Articles are interesting eig. I too am the main breadwinner in the house, and taking 6 months out is a massive thing for me. We are transferring the rest of my maternity to DH under the new legislation, so he will be taking 3 months after i return to work. No idea whether I will (a) still be bfing then at all, though that was certainly the plan (b) whether I can be bothered to try expressing at work - that doesn't fill me with glee I have to admit. If I could manage to feed morning and night and FF during the day, then that would prob work best for me... we shall see how things are going.

Agree the debate is very annoying and upsetting. I never imagined I would have supply issues, and notably it was the hospital who pretty much forced me into giving formula on day 1 which may, or may not, have contributed to said supply issues. I have certainly had to fight The Guilt, and struggle with the formula to decide if I want him to have loads (thinking: yay, gain the weight lad!) or reject it (thinking: yay, I am not failing him and boobies are enough!) which is stupid really. However, think we can attest (today of all days) that thinking stupid things comes with the territory it seems.

I too will be going back to work officially after 6 month as I also earn more than DH, although have decided to work freelance throughout my maternity leave to keep me sane which is working out really well. I am lucky in that I mainly work from home so even though we have a nanny ready to start when I go back fulltime, I will be able to breastfeed until DD is 2 years as is recommended. On the days I go into the office I intend to express. With expressing as an option (provided you are able to do it) then I don't really see any inequality issues. It just takes some time commitment which I personally have no problem with.

Doctor's at 5.10 this afternoon. Taking the man with me so he can do the talking while I do the sitting in a corner crying.

stormy good idea. Let me know how you get on. I am back at the doctors at 8.15 tomorrow am with similar questions and will also report back anything interesting.

And going back after 6 months into a city job like mine is not easy but compared to looking after a baby with thrush it's a piece of cake! ( for me anyway!)

Leni ours is snorty pig or snuffly pig! Or beauty. Or cherub.
Wing we are sleep suits all the way as they are so easy. Dungarees for special occasions. A pink hat if she's dressed as a boy just to confuse people. :-)
Stormy, having just been to hv who suggested I cuddle dd when she's crying (ffs) I don't want to state obvious or patronise but have you tried skin to skin during food refusal chaos? I tried yesterday and it worked....until I needed to move to pee. What did clinic say?
Meanwhile, dd is asleep. In her Moses basket. In the day. Probably tempted fate by sharing that news....
'Helpful' hv this morning also suggested that baby should have had more than 1.5 hours daytime sleep yesterday. No shit?

Leni ours is snorty pig or snuffly pig! Or beauty. Or cherub.
Wing we are sleep suits all the way as they are so easy. Dungarees for special occasions. A pink hat if she's dressed as a boy just to confuse people. :-)
Stormy, having just been to hv who suggested I cuddle dd when she's crying (ffs) I don't want to state obvious or patronise but have you tried skin to skin during food refusal chaos? I tried yesterday and it worked....until I needed to move to pee.
Meanwhile, dd is asleep. In her Moses. basket. In the day. Probably tempted fate by sharing that news....
'Helpful' hv this morning also suggested that baby should have had more than 1.5 hours daytime sleep yesterday. No shit?

Sorry. I seem to be unable to work basic technology today. And thanks for update stormy, I missed it before. Mush where brain once was.

eco you should've asked your helpful health visitor to point out where exactly on the baby the sleep button is located.

Rainbow who recommends BFing for two years? My jaw just about hit the floor reading that. I know from my degree that the people of ancient Mesopotamia BF'd until then, but that's under incredibly different circumstances!

Not sure what I'm going to do about work. I won't be able to go back to my old job because I wouldn't get home until 9pm and don't believe in having children then fobbing them off on other carera. I'm going apply for flexible working and see what they can do but judging how they treated me during my pregnancy (leading to me getting signed off sick then going on maternity leave at 31 weeks), I doubt they'll bother to accommodate me. Problem is I was working on a graduate prpgrme so there's a queue of people lined up ready to take my place and no skin pff the company's nose. I do miss working though, and am tempted to start up my own online company.

Pud the hospital forced me to give DS formula too to sort out those red crystals in his wee and jaundice. Convinced that's one of the reasons I couldn't BF - and FIL is adamant we should sue! Frankly after the complicated labour we had I'm just glad DS is healthy. Oh and our baby's known as 'Sticky', thanks to an early meconium incident...

Hope you have more luck with the gaviscon Stormy. And don't worry about showing your emotions in front of zoë. She's too young to learn, right? And if she can learn then shes going to grow up admiring her very human and honest mother, and become equally good at expressing herself.

plonko breastfeeding till 2 years old (6 months exclusively and then with complementary solid foods once they are ready obviously) is the standard recommendation these days - check out the World Health Organisation's advice here - www.who.int/nutrition/topics/exclusive_breastfeeding/en/.

I also wasn't suggesting not showing emotions in front of baby but what has worked for us is minimising our own stress in front of DD as this seems to make things worse for hear and consequently for us!

We had a lovely day in the garden this afternoon with DD snoozing in the pram and occasionally feeding and me doing some work and reading a book - finally exactly how I imagined my maternity leave to be! I am sure this peace is a one off but definitely enjoyed it while it lasted!

I really have lost my mind, did you know that yesterday was the day Marty Mcfly went forward too in back to the future. I want a hover board!!

MiniYo is known as Snuffleuffagus, Miss Madam, Chubster or Monster. We're probably giving her some form of complex!

I'm planning to go back to work after a year but part time. For the job I was doing pre- mat leave I leave at 6.15am & get home at 7pm so not very child are compatible but only have to go back there for 6months. I need to go back to feel properly like me again, plus I've trained hard for a long time to do my job & that's something I want to show my little girl & hopefully she'll understand that's why I'm not there all the time. I'm lucky that I don't have to go back full time, we'll have to adjust our lifestyle accordingly but hopefully it'll be worth it.

Madam's still refusing a bottle despite the many different bottles, breast milk, formula, people giving the food, temperature etc. I know I'm lucky I can breastfeed & that she likes it but I do feel very trapped by it & would love a few hours off. We all want what we haven't got but the problem is everything (even our own thoughts) make us feel guilty. I think the important thing on here is to remind ourselves we really have nothing to feel guilty about as long as we're doing our best to keep everyone alive & as sane as possible!

BF-ing for 2 years????? . NOOOOOOOOOooooooo...... Love the piglet as I do there is no way on earth she is chewing on me with a full set of teeth. Not a chance....

As for HVs... Phut. Waste of time all of them. Moi, I just smile and nod and tell them what they want to hear. 'Oh yes dd always sleeps in her own bed. No never mine. Naps like a good un too...' I cross my fingers of course, when spouting this stuff, as that makes it ok doesn't it?!

I'm so envious of all you ladies with top careers, and yes absolutely stick with it and don't feel bad. I gave up a City career to 'estate manage' (posh word for fire fighting the chaos that is a major house refurb, cutting fields, and hedges and running a holiday let). There is not a day that I don't wonder why I swapped a good salary for quite so much muck and tears. DD in comparison is easy. I'd like to go back one day, but once you have a gap on your cv it ain't so easy.

Good luck with the gaviscon Stormy, really hope it helps. In comparison I've had a gem of a day, but I'll hold judgement based on the fact the evening witching hour is fast approaching and it would be unwise to tempt fate. DD just about melted my heart by sitting in my knee grinning and giggling and saying eh-oh at me. I have no idea what eh-oh means, but she was quite insistent about it. Probably milk or bath then. She likes those.

I have just sprayed myself in the face with milk. How is that even anatomically possible????

Just tried a bottle again. Complete meltdown. She just gets so bloody distressed & it makes me feel so wobbly. I hate it & now I feel crappy after actually feeling pretty good today. It's shit.