March 2013- here we go....

[Oodsigma]

Welcome old & new to the other side!

I'll start with a stats list!

Ood -ds 7/3/13, dc4! Elcs

If anyone wants to add any more details feel free!

hi there.
My DS2 was due 1st March but came a day early on 28/02/13.
Normal delivery again thankfully with no drama (phew).

Had the 10 day weigh in Monday and very relieved to have made it back to birth weight + 50g. I'm more metric than old school with weights I'm afraid.

currently baby Choco is cluster feeding from around seven until eleven which is when all I want to do is crawl into bed and crash. Can't remember ds1 doing this and really hope it doesn't last.

stormy bird have you tried to swaddle during feeds to help you handle baby and Boob. I did this with ds1 and found it quite helpful. Can't think of anything else to try

Well, I may be good at pregnancy and childbirth, but I am arse at breastfeeding. 11% of body weight lost yesterday. Managed a decent feed last night, but then she just wouldn't wake up to feed after that, and how do you get her to latch on when she won't open her mouth? I think she just didn't have the energy to, poor kid.

So, after spending the morning having a total crying snotfaced meltdown (me, not her), we've invested in a breast pump, steriliser, bottles, and formula. She had a whole ounce of the latter, and is now sleeping peacefully and looking a lot happier. Was expecting a lecture about the evils of formula, but at this point my main concern is getting something inside her. Really don't want to end up back in hospital. So the plan is boob out of a bottle as much as possible, and top up with formula. Managed to get a whole 10ml out of one boob already!

As for getting me some sleep, my dad's volunteered to take her for a few hours once a week so I get a break, and my brother's girlfriend, who's currently off work due to being pregnant herself, has volunteered to take her whenever I like, and they're only across the road. So fingers crossed we won't go completely insane just yet.

Stormy- do lots of skin to skin & strip her off if she won't wake.once she gets food in she will start getting in the habit anyway but skin to skin is v good for her. What day are you on?

Yeah, the breastfeeding counsellor who rang earlier recommended lots of skin to skin. Certainly woke her up, but she just couldn't latch on well - as soon as she got the nipple in her mouth she'd suck for maybe a minute then just let it slip out. And before long she was in too much of a state (and so was I - hormones are a joy). We're on day six.

Ooh- the feeding expert nurse at my hospital said to give 20ml after every feed by a cup for both prem and term babies, for a month. She said so many people go home and the babies are too tired and drop weight, they've found this trick usually works.

We had three breastfeeding network women who were on the maternity ward every day early to late on shifts, and the feeding expert one who was actually a nurse too. The breastfeeding network women apparently can visit you at home for up to 8 weeks for support too. I was amazed at the amount of help offered there.

That's good support. Not sure about the cup thing as its a bit prescriptive but worth it if baby is struggling to gain.

Not sure what my hospital had as I didn't see anyone. Did have a discussion with every single MW (on the ward & that have visited me at home ) so far about tandem feeding as most hasn't seen it before

Stormy, I could have totally written your post. We've had lots of drama today too (and just a day behind you). My mum brought me a pump, steriliser and bottles yesterday as I just can't crack the left boob latch and right now my cracked bleeding nipple is making Me more than a bit fractious. Right boob appears fine thank god, so were mixing feeds until we can get nipple shields and have someone come over to give support. Today I've been a complete snot faced emotional cow, and I think I'm struggling with the baby blues.

I never thought bfing could be so hard :( the cup thing really splits opinion- we were told to do it in hospital to supplement feeds and flush out the jaundice, but a relative who's a mw believes it can cause confusion over suckling. For now at least I'd be happy to mostly bottle feed, much less stressful than the boob! Good luck stormy, hope you see some improvements!

Thank god baby plonk is gorgeous!

Stormy & Plonko this is me too! BabyYo lost 11% by day 3 but was gaining again by day 5 and on day 12 was nearly ack at birth weight so needs weighing again next Monday but then should hopefully be discharged from midwives.

I really really struggled with BF at first, the first week was like hell. I cried more than anything else & got very cracked sore nipples. Ended up getting nipple shields which were a Godsend & used them every few feeds for a few days, until pain was much better. She didn't get as much milk when I used them & was hungry quicker but it was worth it fr a bit if relief. Also bought a pump as would love to express & get DH to do one of the night feeds but haven't quite figured out when to use it yet. I've found Lansinoh nipple cream a must have & am slathered in it at all times!

Currently we're on day 15 & she's much better at BFing, the latch s better & it's all a bit more comfy (most of the time) but she's feeding every 2-3hrs for 1hr & sometimes wants feeding again after 15-20mins. Scared to try & express really in case then she wakes screaming & I haven't enough milk for her. Even though its going better I'm really not enjoying BFing, I feel very trapped with it as I feed for more than 8hrs per day & have started to dread her waking up hungry now. I'm hoping it will pass & either it will get worse again in which case I might be able to justify stopping to myself or I'll start o enjoy it. I just can't bring myself to FF when she's getting what she needs & it's not agony anymore! Really need to figure out expressing.

For the first week I was really tearful & spent large amounts of time sobbing & still have a good cry about every other day but also find myself laughing & smiling at some point during the day & while its not all encompassing I don't think it's too much to worry about. Silly thungs do tip me over the edge though. Yesterday i couldnt figure out to collapse the pram down so came home to DH with it still up, rammed in the thankfully massive boot, crying my eyes out. When I feel really blue I've found a warm bath followed by a short walk in fresh air makes me feel so much better.

Keep telling myself that this and the nights just need a bit of time & it will all get better & beso worth it....roll on the six week smiles!

plonko cups are supposed to be better than bottles for avoiding confusion but some babies don't get confused at all.

I had never heard of the cup idea before but I thought I'd mention it because it sounded like one option to potentially think about. She said cups took less energy; wore the babies out less.

I'm expressing at the moment and I am finding it quite a faff and, lonely, I suppose. It takes what seems ages each time - maybe 50 minutes - but that combined with having to get up and move round the house sorting out equipment and switching on the lights really wakes me up!

Cup feeding is more similar to breast feeding. Baby laps the milk rather than sucking a bottle

plonko don't stress about being snotfaced. Sure I read somewhere that day 5 is the worst for it. It's still horrid, but if you know intellectually that it is just hormones and stress, then you can see that it will pass. No tears for me yet today, but we're at the clinic in an hour and a half so there's plenty of time!

They're designed to be gorgeous, are babies. The species would have died out long ago otherwise, cos, objectively, they are horrendously irritating little buggers.

My nipples are fine at the moment, but then, she wasn't spending as much time and effort on them as she was supposed to, so it's no surprise. Boobs are certainly aching more now I'm using the hand pump. Getting on okay with that though, managing about an ounce of milk each time. The midwife said use it for ten minutes per boob every two hours, but we're going for every three hours because it fits round the feeding, and I do need some time to actually do things.

SoYo why not try expressing and hanging on to what you get out? It keeps for 48 hours in the fridge. So then you'd always have some to hand if needed.

Right, I've got 45 minutes before she'll need waking up for her next feed, then we have to head out to the clinic as soon as she's done (ten am feed and appointment at ten twenty was, with hindsight, not the best idea). So I'm going to stand on the doorstep and get some fresh air and a blessedly guilt-free cigarette. It might be bad for my lungs, but by god it is good for my sanity.

Stormy I could have written your post too. He just would not bf so have ended up giving it him out of a bottle and topping up with formula. Glad it's not just me having feeding issues. I was a wreck about it at first but he's thriving on the formula so I'm trying not to beat myself up about it too much. After the dehydration and jaundice of the first two weeks I'm happy he's growing. Although I could do without the colic.

Good news - she's gained four ounces! And finally done a poo, the first since the weekend. I am so proud of her. For pooing. Clearly motherhood has sent me mad already. Now we just need to get her to reverse her ideas about night and day.

Are any of us managing breastfeeding okay? Aside from Ood (and how did you get on with that with your first baby?).

so I don't have to type out my current problems again

Re bf- dd1 was fairly easy apart from mastitis a couple of times when I went back to work ( mat leave was only 3 months then). Dd2 refused to feed full stop and I gave up when she was 3-4 days old as I was too ill to 'fight' it.
Dd3 took to it straight away but I'd forgotten how hard it is toughening your nipples up and the continuous feeding initially hurts ( though she had an untreated tongue tie which meant all feeds took twice as long). We also had a lot of trouble with her being unable to keep up with my fast flow/over producing. Ds is lucky as she deals with this before I feed him.
Lanisoh is a life saver, accept a few weeks glued to the settee with food/drink/tv , use bf supporters/helplines, have a baby moon and stay in bed for skin to skin. It does get easier but there's always something to feel guilty about as a parent!
If you decide to FF/mix feed you need to do it as a choice rather than feeling unsupported in bf (hope that makes sense) as the last thing you need as a parent is more guilt!

Guilt is going to be a constant companion, isn't it?

There's plenty of support here for breastfeeding, but as I'm not producing enough milk I don't think sticking with it's going to work. But my plan was always just to give it a go and see how it worked out; I'm not dead set on having someone attached to my boobs for the next six months and pinning all my worth as a mother on it. And she's thriving on formula, and, even better, I can keep track of how much she's getting. Two and a half ounces at 2am! That tiny tummy is obviously stretching.

The haematoma sounds unpleasant. Can't offer any advice, but am sending painkillery vibes through the ether for you.

As long as you are happy with the decision then it's only food! Bigger problem is when people don't get support/get bad advice.

Ood it's very unlikely that the pain in your shoulders/back/neck is due to the spinal. It's very likely to be due to blood in your abdominal cavity as the haematoma breaks down. Blood is extremely irritant & some of it tends to settle under your diaphragm. The nerves under there supply the shoulder tip, neck & upper back so cause pain there. Painkillers will go some way to helping (you'll need to be on full daily dose of paracetamol & diclofenac for a little while) & anything containing peppermint (tea/cordial etc) helps too.

Excellent soyo am on full doses of both and have sorted a better schedule of meds as I was hitting busy points on low doses. Plus trying to get my ABs 8 h apart it's a good job I wake a lot at night!

I am so relieved to know its not just me struggling with feeds. Ood, your comment about support hit home in a big way. Yesterday I felt great, but today has been more snot faced crying. And horrible morbid thoughts :( Despite pumping my nips have gone from a bit tender to cracked and bleeding -problems that began with a bad latch. I've just bitten the bullet and called the nct for support and the lady I spoke to was amazing.

I'm looking at mixing feeds as I can't up my supply enough to keep pace with my hungry son, and my boobs and sanity need a break. How's this going for you, stormy? So off to morrisons in the morning to buy formula, then seeing about hiring a medela symphony pump- expensive but highly recommended.

On the other hand I felt a massive rush of love today :) he's just so lovely

Plonko if you haven't yet got any, pick up some lansinoh cream in morrisons too for your poor boobs.

I got dp on the case yesterday, Zigwig. They already feel more calm.