December 2012: This too shall pass, this too shall pass

[HoneyMumandSon]

keep repeating the mantra...

Right - our regression must be due to start because C slept all night! Am dancing with joy. Straight to sleep at 7pm, dream feed at 10.30pm, woke at 6.30am. This I like! Now it's happened once I'm sure it will never be repeated.

Pidj, that was in his own room? Doesn't sound too bad !

Why do they wake you up and then drink 2oz? He'd clearly not hungry

We're thinking of trying again this time next year FOD lookinf at a 2ish year gap. maybe a bit later to avoid the Xmas birthday again.

Yep, all by his lonesome. The night before was 8-5 with a 1 1/2 hour wake at 1, before that normally 7:30-1, 1:30-3:30, 4-5:30. So not vastly different tbh

I just had to wake ds at 7:10 before my boob exploded

FOD we are thinking of trying soon - am getting on a bit (37) so if we want further instalments we can't really hang around too long.

She went to sleep at 3am, woke up at 5:30 started feeding. She has just stopped and vomited. Shes now sucking my finger. My DP just doesn't understand that this is nearly a every night occurrence. I started crying (i'm not normally a crier) at 2 and told him i was exhausted. That i need help he said he'll take her downstairs today and leave me in bed for abit IF she sleeps bad. But he'll to that and i'll be on a timer because he'll want to go his dads so he can sleep before work so he's not tired. I'm fed up of him going to his dads everyday after work for a sleep so he's not tired. And i know it sounds pathetic but i resent him because he looks after his other DD on a friday night, but he does that at his dads so that his DD has quality alone time with him. Which is great yeah but he gets another full nights sleep. Even if i asked my mum to have H all night i can't sleep through because i wake up engorged and have to express. I know being a mums hard work but i'm seriously exhausted i feel like i'm running on fumes. Yet i've told him and hes snoring and i'm awake again

Hales he's a complete arse. What would he do if you both lived away from family? Does he ever look after HIS baby so you can get a break?

He lets me have a nap on a thursday or a sunday but i feel like i'm on a timer constantly because he needs sleep after work or before work. He is really good with H but just doesn't understand that she doesn't sleep and says helpful comments like but my mates baby sleeps through why won't Heidi. Or my absolute favourite my other daughter always slept well, (shes 8).

As Spotty said, he's an arse. Of course he thinks his older dd slept well i doubt his behaviour has changed much in the intervening years! You need to get through his thick skull that his sleep is in no way more precious than yours and that his child is at risk if he doesn't step up. Ffs, if mine can fetch and change a nappy at 3am after a stroke your fit and healthy one can pull his weight! Or, he can fuck off back to his dad's for good

Yep I agree with pidj dp got me a nappy from downstairs at three this morning and helped me change the random night time poo in the half dark and he left for work an hour ago after getting up with dd just before six. He still left his crumbs on the side though

Agreed, hales - he's being a dick. Why is his sleep so much more precious than yours? Sure he's working but so are you? And is he doing anything as challenging as looking after a vulnerable, unpredictable infant?

Would it help to put some numbers on the problem? Ie this week I slept X hours, and average of Y every night. You're sleeping Z. How can we balance it a bit?

Parenting should be a 2-person job, if there are 2 parents around. H isn't your baby, she's yours plural. He doesn't seem to get that. I really feel for you and hope you can get a break soon.

Oh, and he 'lets you nap' on a fucking timer up to twice a week? You let him sleep 7 times a week, no timer in sight!

At the crumbs spotty.

Think i'm going to have to talk to him. I'll wait till i calmer though. Thanks spotty and Pidj. Its only the sleep area we have a problem with he's very much hands on when it comes to nappies and keeping her entertained.

X post Mama. What you've said makes sense, if i explain it to him like that he might understand. Thanks for the idea.

Hales what they said! He is not going to learn unless you pummel it into him. My DH is a terrible sleeper, once he is awake he can't go back to sleep, so he stays up to do the first feed and I do the middle of the night feeds (until F starts squealing with excitement and wakes DH up, hehe!) Now I need to train him to be cleaner during the day!

Last night was 7-11.30, 12-5.15, 5.45-6.45. A very early first feed, but good for the rest of the night. Squeezing the cot into our bedroom today, should be fun!

But it sounds like he's not there to be hands on, Hales. By the time he's worked 8 hours, slept 8 hours and spent some time travelling, when exactly does he do his share of the domestic tasks?

And when does big dd see her sister?

Talking about trying for the next one I've washed all my maternity clothes ready to sell I really want another one. I don't feel done yet, I actually am nearly crying thinking about not having another one and I never cry. I want to have a planned baby, never have before. I want dp to be excited when I do the test (did it on my own first time and second time dp wasn't impressed). I want to be able to have my diabetes perfectly controlled to see if I can manage to get to 38 weeks and not have my baby in SCBU for two weeks. I just want one more child. Sorry for ramble but dp won't even discuss it

Think we're going to brave the cold and go to peppa pig world Thursday. Would ds be better in the sling or pushchair?

hales what they said! Yes it sucks to be tired and working - er hello? Isn't that what you do every day? He needs to give a bit on the sleep front. DH is often not home from work til nearing midnight but will get up with big 2 at 6.30 so I can have a rest if I've been up a lot. I do remember having to have a serious melt down with DH about dd2s sleep - after lots of gentle hints that didn't work as I was on my knees and he just didn't notice/think to step up. He's been better this time!

We had a crap night - feed from 12 til 1.45, then 4 til 6.30! Don't know if growth spurt or that we've all got colds again. DH working so just about to take all 3 to dd1s swimming lesson then to a party this pm. Would be good but dds don't really know party people so expecting a lot of cling!

spotty I'd take both!

hales your dp sounds a lot like my XH, notice the x. I didn't confront it and we both built up a lot of resentment. It wasn't the reason we split but it contributed. Get it sorted before it gets compounded by other issues!

spotty it must be really hard to give up on another dc. Sorry it's not what you want right now.

Well DS woke 10, 12, 2, 4, 6 and hasn't really been back to sleep! He thinks he's hilarious and I'm being mock-cross at him. He's just too cute!

On the plus side ds has been asleep in his cot for fifty minutes. He's stirred now but he's just laying there with his eyes closed sucking his thumb.

Oh yeah WL I found dd with her finger in ds's mouth a couple of months back I suppose she saw me doing it though!

hales it always sounds to me like you're almost a single parent. You spend the majority of your day and night home alone with the baby with no support or company from your DP. I let my DH sleep all night because he has to go to work, however, he's there if I need him, I can poke him and ask for help with a nappy, or this morning I asked him to take an awake DS to his side of the bed do I could get a bit more sleep. Going to his dads every day for uninterrupted sleep is incredibly selfish - I'm sure he could manage fine on one or two disturbed nights a week (at least) that he spends home with you. How long is he planning on being a part time dad? 1, 2, 5 years?? More? Young children get up early and make noise too, is he just never really going to live with you?

Sorry, I always get angry on your behalf reading your posts. Ignore me if you like.

So, DS has started not really sleeping in the middle of the night. Past 2 nights he's slept 8-10 ish in my arms with me trying to put him down. Then wakes at 1:30, 2:30 then doesn't really sleep again till 4:30 or 5, feeds again and wakes up again around 6. He then naps quite well through the morning, sometimes till 10 or so. I don't get back to sleep after 5/6 though.

The 2-5 bit is killing me. He's sort if asleep, but constantly turning his head from side to side, throwing his arms about, kicking and groaning. If he's swaddled he's fighting to get out and makes more noise. He's not hungry as he settles into naps with just my finger to suckle for a little whole (still grimaces with any kind of dummy). I end up shoving him to the edge of the bed and putting my arms between us (unsafe co sleeping!) and trying to nap like that. It works ok but I'm just so tired in the mornings.
DH is against putting the heating on at night, even though he and I are both cold all night/morning. So I can't have DS in his crib as temps get town to 12 degrees on a bad night. He's always freezing when I bring him in bed after being in his crib for an hour or so (usually 10-11, the warm bit of the night) and even colder after his stretch at the edge of the bed (still under all our blankets) after the 2-5 sleep.

Oh stacks that's much too cold!

Stacks F went though a faze of being awake 2-4 every night, wanting to play. I would have to getup and watch TV until he was ready to feed again and then he would fall back to sleep. It was solid for about 2wks but now it's occasional. Also do you use sleeping bags for DS? We don't have the heating on either (DH and I get migraines if too hot at night) so a sleeping bag and blanket seem to do the trick, he has cold hands, but the rest of him is nice and warm.

Re. Trying for another. I'm only 27 and not planning a 7s rugby team so going to think again next year, but no rush. My DSis is due in 5wks and has just bought a big winter coat, texting me this morning that she will be putting it with our shared maternity wardrobe for next time round! And going to look at a new house tomorrow, which has plenty of space for no2.

Stacks do you want me to send you one of my fleece sleep suits? Intried them over nappies but wool works better for us. I've got 3 in 3-6, pm your address.

Then sort out your dp's arsishness