November 2012 - Four months? Oh no, the dreaded sleep regression!

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1698894-November-2012-BFPs-Already-You-girls-are-going-to-have-some-fun

Instead of marking place, please could those of us with older siblings post something (positive) they are looking forward to as our babies get older. I think it would cheer us up since so many are struggling at the moment.

[PetiteRaleuse]

Yes, low key is pretty much it. When you flying back?

[Donnadoon]

I'm looking forward to handmade Mother's Day cards from my older children tomorrow...they are so excited to give them to me.
Also I am up for a midlands meet :)

[PetiteRaleuse]

(we could have had a Lux meet up)

[StuntNun]

It's fine if a bit icky Lilliana, just keep feeding and put Lanisoh or Vaseline or something on your nipple to help it heal, some bra-free time would help as well.

[BigPigLittlePig]

lilliana what stunt said, and ouch.

[ValiumQueen]

The girls have been telling me all day that there is a suprise for me tomorrow, but they have been told not to mention it.

[ValiumQueen]

I am having some tonight. Just a little. I need it.

Tomorrow I am going to the GPs house for dinner so I will be waited on hand foot and finger, and the kids will be entertained. I better bloody be allowed back to bed after Js breakfast! Bloody better!

Have had words with DH a few times as he has been whinging about the kids, and I have said 'welcome to my world'. He feels hurt by this as it is 'our world', and I replied he does not know what it is like for me as he never has all three, and the pressure of feeding and settling J, whilst trying to keep the other two from killing each other. If J whines, he hands him back to me. He said he will never be able to have all three to give me a break, as he could not cope. He is right, and I felt overwhelmingly upset at that, and went to bed in tears when J had his nap. I love my kids dearly, but I wonder where VQ is in all of this

[StuntNun]

Welcome back DH, you haven't been on for ages. How is your DS1 getting on with being a big brother? Does he try to play with Q yet?

Sweetpea this is the toughest time because you're at the end of a long period of disturbed sleep and your baby has needed a lot of your attention over that time. At four months your LO will be more settled, sleep better, babble away to you and be able to hold things to explore with her mouth. And then we start the fun and mess of weaning. So please don't worry, just concentrate on taking it a day at a time.

I have never been one for babies and schedules but I think J might need one. My days are constrained by school drop-off and pick-up and I keep having to wake him or interrupt a feed to get to the school on time. Can anyone recommend a good schedule? He feeds every 2-3 hours during the day and tends to fall asleep while feeding so I need one that can fit around his habits. Or do I just decide when his feeds / naps are and make him stick to it? I'll wait until 5-6 months to try this, hopefully he'll be well established on his bedtime by then.

[Izzybuzzybuzzybees]

Oh vq that's not nice to read that he couldn't cope with all three. Is there no way he could cope even for a wee bit to give you a proper break?

We are struggling really badly with Js sleep at night and during the day he won't go down til about 11pm and wakes up after only a couple of hours. He wont really settle back in crib so I end up bringing him into bed with us which I don't like doing. I have no idea how to fix it. My DD slept through at 6 weeks! He doesn't nap during the day, except maybe 15 mins. He just won't bloody sleep and I am gettin exhausted with it.

What can I try?!?

[StuntNun]

VQ why couldn't he take them all to the playground for an hour? The older two would be less likely to squabble and J would probably sleep being pushed around in the pram. Or watch a kids' film with them all and bounce J on his knee?

[StuntNun]

Are you doing a bedtime routine yet Izzy? It's great even when they're much older as they get programmed to sleep at the end of their routine. So my 10yo and 6yo go to sleep when their light is put out even though they would like to stay up late, they just can't help themselves.

[Izzybuzzybuzzybees]

We haven't started a bedtime routine yet. He doesn't really feed to any kind of routine really and for now stays downstairs til I go to bed after last feed. Not really sure how to introduce one tbh. My DD was formula fed by this time which kind of helped I think and also was happy to self settle.

[PetiteRaleuse]

VQ I had a very similar conversation with DH when he was whining about finding looking after both difficult when I had the flu.

I said 'welcome to my life' and was all sarky about it, and he said 'yes but your life is my life' but he works all hours and doesn't or didn't til then realise that it's hard, not to mention bloody dull sometimes, looking after the children. He no longer says he wishes that he could stay at home and me go out to earn.

I think that they don't give up part of their identity as we have to. Where is VQ in all this? Well she's still there, lurking benezth the surface, but circumstances have forced her to put the mum part of VQ first for a while. And our mum part is important and valid and incredible, but sometimes it's hard to realise and appreciate it. Whereas men see their dad part as being just a part of their lives which they switch on and off, and expect to be able to watch their films and matches without interuption, and expect their lives to pretty much continue as before except with the added bonus of children. Bonus. But forget about the inconvenience.

But in a few years the hard part of them being so dependent will be over, to be replaced by other problems. But I think this is where DHs will come into their own and be able to handle it better. Will be as hard, but the work can be more easily shared.

Dunno if I'm talking much sense. DH is brilliant, but he'll be even brilianter as the girls grow up. But the all consuming babyhood is hard for them to comprehend. Because life just doesn't go on as before.

[sweetpea1112]

Izzy I second the bedtime routine. O is sleeping terribly at the moment but one thing he does consistently at the moment is go to sleep at 7:30

We just observed his natural sleepy time and started a routine of bath, bottle in dark room, bed, 45 mins before this.

Sorry if this is teaching you to suck eggs. but is as far as my wisdom stretches I'm afraid

[BigPigLittlePig]

Izzy will he sleep on you in the day? F was very like him until a few weeks ago, when she suddenly started being happier to sleep a bit longer in her bed at the beginning of the night. She still ends up in our bed from 5/6ish, and will only nap on me in the day. If you could get LO to nap a bit more in the day, on you if needs be, would he sleep better at night? Sorry if that's a bit "teaching grandma".

[BigPigLittlePig]

X-post with sweet - obviously grandmas and eggs are in the forefront of our minds!

[Brockle]

your DH is being a dick vq . how bloody insensitive and feeble. he may say he couldn't but he could if he tried and maybe you need to just leave him to it for an hour and see what happens.

I try to feed Y before the school run and depending on weather go for a walk from dropping the kids off at school. y tends to sleep then and ne much happier in. the day if he has that sleep. I give him a feed just before the afternoon run and he usually sleeps in the pram then too. I pop him in his crib at lunch time for a lunchtime nap too but this is usually brief. walks with Y in the pram and then leaving him asleep in the pram in the garden usually does wonders with the naps.

[sweetpea1112]

Oh yes and the only way to het decent daytime naps out of him is to let him sleep on me. He usually has about four hours in total.
He does now have his first daytime nap in the cot but is only 30mins

[sweetpea1112]

pig

[Izzybuzzybuzzybees]

I don't really let him sleep on me during the day. I had hoped being consisten and putting him in the cot would eventually help his naps. My DD didn't nap either an I'd always thought with my second I'd try doing the cot thing in the hope naps would extend naturally and help!

It's tricky also letting him sleep on me as I have DD to deal with too. Need lunch made and help in loo etc.

Maybe I should try putting him upstairs on his own. I'm just a bit scared if this really. We have DDs old movement monitor which works but I'm not reside the audio part works. Will test it tomorrow I think, prob too late to be messing about. He's feeding just now and seems to have taken a good feed. He seems sleepy but I doubt he would settle upstairs.argh!!

[Elizadoesdolittle]

Hi new thread, I'm looking forward to getting E out of hospital! Sorry to lower the tone, it's been a lovely positive thread so will start again!

madam I had the exact same thing with a trip to Greenwich park recently. I love it there, brings back lots of happy childhood memories for me. The road works are really annoying me but DD1 loved the diggers!

pp going through the why stage here and it drives me insane. pr I got to the because I said so stage very early to. I have no patience which isn't great when dealing with a feisty independent 3 year old!

I'm looming forward to taking E to all the groups that DD1 loved, particularly baby sensory and swimming. DD1 is such a little character I'm looking forward to seeing how hers develops and can't wait to the see the (hopefully) love between the sisters.

Well I'm back to the same room do its like a home from home. I did go home for a while today which felt great but also has made coming here feel worse. DH and the in laws were just about to order a Chinese takeaway, my fave! I had a cheese sandwich from costa

Still thank fuck I have my own room and E is sleeping so I may actually get some sleep tonight. DH is bringing DD1 to visit tomorrow and we are going to go to the hospital canteen for lunch, small joys and all that.

[PetiteRaleuse]

Hey eliza I understand it's horrible going back in after a sniff of freedom. Goo dyou'll get more sleep. Next step, getting you out of there :) you sound a little more upbeat

[ValiumQueen]

PR thank you that helped a lot.

Anyway, off to bed. J went down at 8 and DD2 has just gone down as someone let her nap when I was in bed earlier.

If DH had all three it would mean putting his fucking iPad down. He has joined a gym, with considerable monthly fee (out of his pocket money apparently) and will go inbetween jobs. I have told him he is not going at weekends or evenings or mornings. He said I could go too. How the fuck??? They do not have a crèche.

Grr!

Tomorrow is another day.

[PetiteRaleuse]

Lol. I was complaining about my back hurting earlier. DH said well you have to strengthen it, you need to go to the pool three times a week like you did before.

I laughed. But not in a very nice way. It was perhaps more of a snarl. He shut up. Good. Move.

[ValiumQueen]

izzy as you may know J is was at the end of the queue for sleepy dust. My girls also slept through very very early. From a baby who would only sleep with my boob in his mouth up until 12 weeks, he now sleeps in his cot in his room for manageable periods. He is 19 weeks old.

We do not have a proper bedtime routine as I cannot do everything, but watch his cues. He is going to bed earlier and earlier, and he is doing this himself. Tonight was 8pm which is fab. He will wake once or twice and I will get him up for the day at the latest at 7. I think the trick is to tackle it with the morning routine personally.

With naps he usually has 1.5 hours awake. And sleeps for 45 mins or twice that with a little swearing in the middle. During the week I may need to wake him for the school run in the afternoon and he copes ok. He naps on the morning run and I usually walk to the village or park with DD2.

He has all home sleeps in cot. He has learned bedroom is for sleep. In the day he sleeps with normal clothes and cotton cellular blanket. Night time with a gro bag, and you can see the relief on his fave when he is in pjs and has the bag put on. I do that downstairs.

He has teddy light mobile for daytime naps if put down awake. He will swear at teddy, but teddy usually wins. At night, ewan strums away during feeds which are now mostly shorter than ewans piece.

How old is LO? I would probably go with the flow until about 18 weeks when the sleep regression should be fading.

Remember 4 months is 17 weeks not 16.