November 2012 - Four months? Oh no, the dreaded sleep regression!

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1698894-November-2012-BFPs-Already-You-girls-are-going-to-have-some-fun

Instead of marking place, please could those of us with older siblings post something (positive) they are looking forward to as our babies get older. I think it would cheer us up since so many are struggling at the moment.

[ValiumQueen]

Face not fave

[ValiumQueen]

Of course the little sod has woken now I put that ffs!

[LuisGarcia]

Hang on a second.

I'm a SAHD. I've given up 2 careers for my children. I do all the night stuff. I have no income and very little adult contact. I'm the one who has them both on my own most often.

So what is all this nonsense about DH's being able to switch it on and off, again?

grumblegrumble

[ValiumQueen]

Ooh you are a willie wearer mrgarcia I must have missed that!

Clearly you are the exception that proves the rule.

[TheDetective]

I want a DH like that!

Mine told me today that when he brings O down in the mornings, he falls back asleep on the sofa while O is on his playmat. The minute O squawks he wakes up to him.

So please explain why the fuck he can't do that at night, and if he is doing the night feeds or whatever, he doesn't bloody wake!

[StuntNun]

Have to say my dad was a SAHD while my mum went out to work. I'd rather have him looking after me when I'm poorly than my (ex-nurse) mum. He made my school lunches, dinner every day, took me to my orthodontist appointments, music lessons everything. Maybe DHs just need a chance to step up to the bat.

[Izzybuzzybuzzybees]

vq j will be 19 weeks on wed so I'd hoped we would have turned a corner by now :-(

He's asleep now so I'm taking him upstairs. I need sleep!

[BigPigLittlePig]

Willie wearer vq has made me and dh laugh, a lot can't believe we didn't realise luis was a man, that's embarrassing

Just got my arse kicked at monopoly. Was lovely to play though, we used to play board games quite often but when preggo I couldn't bend to reach a board on the coffee table, and it's only the last few days LO has gone to bed early enough. Knackered now though.

DH came good with mothers day, he staggered in yesterday with a massive bouquet of roses and lilies and oodles of chocolate. So now my house smells lovely lovely lovely.

Hope you all have a lovely mother day lie in with the exception of luis - sorry! Night all x

[BigPigLittlePig]

Apologies - just read post back to myself and may have overused the word "lovely". Sickening

[TheDetective]

Me and VQ may fight over you if this is the case .

Serious moment. HELP!

We've had a shitty evening. O was fine, until he had a massive screaming fit, and I could hear him bubbling and choking on the acid reflux. I calmed him down, and then realised he was sleepy. I gave him his Omeperazole, as I'd decided to do it 9.30am, and 7.30pm and give a slightly bigger dose as I didn't feel the 2.5mls was cutting the mustard. After the dose he had an even bigger acid attack, and as I took him upstairs to try and get him to sleep, and he then threw up his last bottle from 2 hrs previous plus the Omeperazole. It was an explosive one, normally his are not explosive, it hit the walls, the wardrobe, the cot, the floor, O was covered from head to toe, I was covered my clothes, inside my bra, my jewellery, my hair, my slippers etc etc. It was a full strip off job. :(

He sobbed himself to sleep in the end. Fuck this shit is hard. I can't stand seeing him in pain and being able to do so little to make it better. :(

He started with a snotty nose today, so I assume that is why he's going backwards again.

I just want to help him!!!

Also, he is dropping his morning feed, but this isn't the one I want him to drop! All week he has fed between 2-5 in the morning, but then is going over 8 hours if I leave him. Eg. today he fed at 5am, and at 11.30 he still hadn't cried for a feed so I just fed him. 3.30pm, he hadn't cried for a feed. So I fed him again. 7pm, no cries for a feed. So I fed him again. I want him to feed in the day, but he is doing the opposite and then doing 3-4 hourly feeds at night! He's also only taking around 3oz with feeds again.

VQ Sounds like things here with O, in regards waking and sleeping patterns, and I agree, bringing the bedtime earlier for us means making the mornings earlier. I know if he is up later than usual, he will go to bed later. He is fairly flexible, and will go down at some point between 7.30-9, and get up between the same hours in the morning.

Last night we had 2 wakenings and that was just for feeds. Progress! Can't see the same tonight! And I've got 3 11 year olds waaaaaaaaaaah!!

[blonderedhead]

I'm sorry you are feeling down VQ. Obviously we've only got one dc but DH is fully hands on (in fact I'm trying to persuade him to go back to his weekly running club & have some time for himself) and I don't see why some men use their supposed incompetence as an excuse - it's the same kind of thinking as those cleaning product commercials that make men out to be dimwits - conveniently meaning that women are the only ones capable of lots of drudgery. Of course your DH is capable of looking after all 3, it's just that it would be difficult the first few times. If you were in hospital, jail or worse he'd bloody have to! (Not suggesting you try this)

Luis I'm sure you must find that sort of thing annoying as you are showing that you are capable of this stuff, as well as writing a thoughtful post on things we can look forward to.

I don't think I'm making much sense as I'm a bit tired. I shall withdraw and hope I haven't offended anyone. Love and Mother's Day to everyone xx

[TheDetective]

VQ I despair at him! How the fuck does he think you manage? What he means is, he doesn't want to. My suggestion is to just go out. Don't tell him. Just go. Once J is fed. Hell, if he needs another feed while you are gone, he will take a bottle, so it isn't like he can't manage is it?

Baptism of fire gets my vote.

I left DP home with both boys the other night from 4.30 til 9.30pm. And while it mostly went tits up in terms of getting O to sleep, it wasn't disasterous. Everyone was alive!

Go to the cinema! Just do it, go alone. I have done in the past! Revel in the fact you are alone, no mummymummymummywhywhywhywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah and eat shit loads of shit and then don't go home!.

[Brockle]

I agree with detective vq . go out by yourself for a coffee or something. you need to do it for yourself

I think Y is havinh worse reflux in the last week and he is 15 weeks. It is mild and manageable with a change in my diet but the last two days have not been good. off to drs on Monday methinks.

I am not expecting much on the mothers day front (based on previous experience) but DH already has breakfast sorted. breakfast middle east style - yummy

thanks ladies on FB for bumbo advice. Y loves it and is all smiles when he is in it. he even prefers it to the bouncer. wow. three posts in one thread, I will retreat again now. bye

[ValiumQueen]

Thank you for your support ladies. I shall re-read when awake.

izzy I think it it time to get tough with your wee man. At 19 weeks he should do better. Although saying that, he is also a big boy like J. Perhaps there is a big baby boy syndrome, like the little man syndrome?

luis I think it my have been helpful to have declared your willie-wearer status. As this is Mumsnet, we cannot be blamed for assuming you are a vagina-wearer. We are certainly not anti-men (except our own, and that is allowed) and would love to have the male perspective. Has your partner already gone back to work?

[TheDetective]

I want my bed. These boys do not seem to want their beds.

Fuckers. The lot of them! And O has woke 3 times already.

Fucking fucking fucking craping arseing hell!

[StuntNun]

Luis isn't the only bloke on here though, we have had MrYellowWellies and MrDetective and probably other posters and lurkers. Is the lurker amnesty still on?

[kissyfur]

Welcome luis, the first daddy to join our quiche

Detective poor O and poor you, that sounds horrid. It sounds like quite a few of our LO's who have reflux have been suffering more this week, maybe it's their age? Whatever it is, it's horrible, you just feel so helpless when they have a bad attack

[Contradictionincarnate]

vq what is your morning routine? ... I think I really must start to get her up early and do one.
Luis I had assumed you were a vag badge carrier too ...
strange before really thinking about children dh had said he would like to be a SAHD I had said that I would need to go back to work at least part time I couldn't imagine being home 'alone'... now dh says he couldn't do it I would love to be SAHM if I could afford it!
Being a property lawyer is very stressful ... think a lot of legal work is especially where deadlines are involved hats of to catbag with 5 ontop!!
Any hoo my dh is v good and extra so this weekend had dd all last night while I was out and got her to sleep
today he spent most of the day with her I had a nap and flowers and tommorow I will have wine at family meal out dh said he will be responsible for dd
when we chatted to 2 of his friends recently they did the first morning feed and I teased dh that he should too to give me a break (they are ff though) I really don't mind the early morning feeds they are the smoothest ones ... but think he feels a.bit guilty and very.grateful ... which is nice.
bet his mates don't do half the housework (probably more too).

right think this.post will be massive ... dd went to.sleep downstairs and for the first time ever went down in Moses but now is not in her sleep bag but has blankets on which means I may not get much sleep after that Madeline Mae story!
sleep dust to everyone ...
and special hug and flowers for Eliza not waking up mothers day at home!
all have a good day tommorow and hope a lie in ... we all need to remember (and I am talking about myself here)... that we are being the best mums we can be and trying (very trying!) our best!
have a happy mothering Sunday one and all

can't believe its past midnight I.have been on here far too long!

[Contradictionincarnate]

Woah I need some sleep...what a messy nonsense of a post! I used to be an intelligent human honest!!

[LuisGarcia]

Happy mothers day. Mums are brilliant.

[TheDetective]

Oh yes, MrDetective has been a lurker! He swears he isn't now! Not sure if I believe him!

Luis My DP is going to be the one to work part time, so he will be doing most of the day to day stuff with the baby. He has a lot to learn yet. Initiative being one... arghhhhh!

[kirrinIsland]

First feed. Not bad for N.

I also didn't realise you were male Luis but like VQ says, I don't think it was an unreasonable assumption. I think the comments about DP/DHs being able to switch off and have a "normal" life are generally true, but that they are referring to the non stay at home parent as opposed to the mother - but for most of us, that is us, the mother. My DP is pretty good, but it would never occur to him to check I'm around to look after the girls before booking himself a dentist appointment or a haircut or going to the gym - he'd just do it. I have no such luxury, and I think it's that sort of thing that grates for some of us sometimes.

VQ I've heard the argument about not coping with all of them alone before. What does he think you do every day!? Best he starts small and builds up, but not ever having all 3 isn't an option - you need to be able to leave them occasionally.

Hope no one is reading this cos you're all asleep :)

[LuisGarcia]

luis I think it my have been helpful to have declared your willie-wearer status.

I kind of see that, in isolation, but tbf I already declare that in a large proportion of my posts across the board, especially where I think it's relevant. I kind of assume most people either know or don't care after that, so it feels a bit odd to feel I have to say it every time I post.


Has your partner already gone back to work?

Not yet, but it's only a few weeks away. I know I've been incredibly lucky to have her around this long, that's partly why I don't make a big deal of things on here usually, but I have been and am again about to be the lone adult. Just because I'm a willy wearer doesn't mean I'm either incompetent or don't know what being the main parent involves.

Can we continue this another day?

[PurplePidjin]

Mine openly admits he finds parenting a baby hard, he just doesn't figure out what R needs as fast as i do. Or my mum does. A lot of that may be down to me trying to protect him from the hard stuff. Pre-stroke, he was out at work all day so the traditional lack of opportunity. Post-stroke he is slightly clumsy and tires really quickly so i just do things in order to let him rest as much as possible. He also reckons that lacking the correct instincts is no reason not to learn so he tries harder and i give pointers if needed. There are times when R clearly prefers daddy's company and will grump on me until handed over the same as he grumps to be stood up/sit down/new toy etc!

We don't have a bedtime routine per se but i always do things in the same order - into crib with mobile while i get ready, get R ready including into sleeping bag, feed and cuddle in bed then transfer. It sometimes works during the day but only intermittently, the sling is more reliable for day sleep. Luckily he stays asleep in it if i stop moving!

[Lily311]

I am awake. Baby is asleep. Grrrrrrr. I want to sleep!!