Hugs tits - can only reflect what others have said re seeking extra help. As pass said the Scottish system is to involve all agencies who have involvement with thw child. I think you are in England? Unsure of policy there but it might be worth looking into. Hugs in the meantime, I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. 
At the very least can someone have your older boys for an hour and give you and J some headspace?
Pass sodding cars are the bain of my life. We have downgraded to one, but it is very unlikely it's going to be worth putting it through it's MOT next month. Problem is we have agreed to replace it with a new to us, not brand new car when it inevitably fails drastically, but we are very hopeful dp is going to get this new job with a company car. In which case I will only need a small runabout for when he is away and it would be madness forking out for a big family car we wont need. Problem is we wont hear about the job till after the MOT. Similarly he's still arguing out the details for the promotion he has been offered in May if he doesnt get the new job, and one of his conditions for taking it is he wants a company pickup. Thing is he is one of only 4 people qualified to do the promotion. It will cost the company 15k and 3yrs+ to train anyone else and they really need 6 skippers so he is using this to his advantage. I digress, we need a new car sooner than we will know if we need a decent big family car or a small runabout.
Feeling a bit better today. DP now has it. M woke up in the middle of the night screaming the loudest scream she has ever done. A real pain scream. It was horrible, a bit of calpol though and she seems fine. I hate giving her it but she clearly felt rotten. Luckily she has no temp but I'm keeping an eye on her and having a quiet day.
Fab news re MA yw. I'm not at all jealous 
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