November 2012 - Guess what we were doing this time last year

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1680077-November-2012-More-group-hugs-and-moral-support-please

[misslaughalot]

Babylaughalot (who really should be renamed as babyfartalot at the moment) also cries out in her sleep every now and then. It really frightened me the first time she did it and it was a real surprise to see her fast asleep! I'm assuming its a nightmare type thing?

Well I was going to use sweary Wednesday to complain about our new neighbour who's moving in today. The house next door has been empty since the lady who lived there died a couple of months ago, and it's been good to know that middle of the night crying hasn't been bothering anyone else. Today there's loads of banging coming through the wall, but she's just come round to introduce herself and apologise for the noise. Plus she has a baby herself so at least she'll be used to 4am wakings!

Hmmmmm completely forgotten what else I was going to say...

[PetiteRaleuse]

I wonder what dreams and nightmares are about at this age?

Rnning out of milk?

Because they can't have many fears as they haven't learned any yet. I suppose my LO might have nightmares about being dropped

[Passmethecrisps]

Thank you for your thoughts on crying out. It does seem like a nightmare type cry. Giving the dummy does seem to chill her out if it seems ongoing. Her eyes are always closed so I leave he where she is. She only seems to do it if not well. She did do it last week and woke herself up. I woke up to see DH standing next to the basket shooshing and reassuring - top marks for a speedy response!

I leave P to mump and moan a wee bit. I never let it become a proper cry or if it does I pick her up. Only I proper crying though. Actually, the other day I went to get her out of her bag and she roared at me! I left her where she was and she settled hersel holding my finger.

[Passmethecrisps]

I was wondering that petite. Is it not the case that babies are born only with a fear of heights? Where did I hear that? P did it for the first time after her injections - maybe they remember pain?

[Contradictionincarnate]

Shelley I always answer door to postman or delivery lady in pjs... and never get up earlier than 10!
dd has the sleep pattern of a uni student 12am-12pm!

[PetiteRaleuse]

I'm not sure it's a fear of heights as such - more a perception of depth, the idea being that there is an instinct about not falling into big empty spaces. I suppose once they have rolled off the bed or been dropped that might transfer into a fear.

Same with water. Until they've lost the apnea reflex they are unlikely to be afraid of water. Once they've coughed and spluttered up a gobful of bath or pool water they might become frightened. I suppose they might dislike baths so could have bad dreams about baths, but wouldn't be frightened as such.

Yes, I think injections might be a trigger for fear. Lots of babies cry their first real tears at immunisation time, it being the first time they feel unexpected, unknown pain.

[Kyzordz]

Interesting stuff. When E did the choking on water thing a few weeks back, it did really scare him and me, almost to death, and since then, when he's swallowed back saliva or perhaps struggled with swallowing milk/water/seemingly nothing?! he will sometimes cry. Twice since he did that he has had the screaming abdabs because he'll cry, swallow saliva (i'm assuming) and then panic like fuck and work himself into a big red frenzy of screaming and gulping and trying to breathe. Once he calms down and realises he's not actually drowning/choking on anything he is fine. It seems very scary for him though :( poor lad.

He seems to cough sometimes when drinking and i've found the calmer i am when he does it, the more likely he is to just cough a bit and then sort himself out. The twice he had screaming fits though he'd caused the swallowing/gasping/screaming cycle by himself! I can only assume he swallows saliva and feels frightened that it's happening again to him. For a good couple of weeks he wouldn't touch anything but milk, and even now he is very cautious, but that's probably for the best!

[ShellyBobbs]

Con apart from Tommy I also have 3 others to get up with, but at 8, 10 and 12 they do sort themselves out. Mothers guilt

[PetiteRaleuse]

Kyz with DD1, and have started doing it with LO, I turn little splutters into a joke and do an exaggerated one then laugh. It stopped DD1 panicking. Obviously if they were turning blue and actually choking then I wouldn't, but it's just trying to relax them. Children learn fear, or a lot of their fear, from watching their parents, so I try to pretend I'm scared of nothing. Which is hard when DD1 tries to play with spiders.

[StuntNun]

You won't do any harm if you're responsive Comrade, i.e. let baby grumph a bit but pick him up if he starts to actually cry. They need to be able to occupy themselves for a little while, especially for self-settling.

When I get home I'm going to try the pick up - put down technique to get J to self-settle. I bet it'll be awful.

Don't forget it's nearly new thread time! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1688444-November-2012-Forget-50-books-in-2013-well-have-50-threads

[Kyzordz]

PR that's a really good idea. I have tried acting like it's nothing and asking him if there's bones in that bit, which just earns me a look of disgust. Better than him panicking. I am just terrified of the choking thing, I think it's all because of them rushing him off when we were still in hospital, it was truly terrifying. I am getting better with it though i think.

I love spiders. Now, moths on the other hand shudders

I have posted the picture of the octopus toy i'm knitting. Feeling really embarrassed now, it's pretty rubbish! The head is stuffed already and only has one or two holes in it, it was what I started with. Then I did the legs one by one, and now i'm doing the scarf. The first few legs I needed help casting on and increasing and decreasing and whatnot, but by the last 2-3 legs i knew what I was doing and managed them mistake free!

I'm going to sit quietly now, regretting having shared my rubbish knitting with the world!

[YellowWellies]

Oh dear god that was hard looking after DS and my 17 month (though 14 month adjusted age) niece. Think we might make sure we have a min 2 year age gap. DS didn't manage to feed for longer than 2 mins at a time and couldn't nap so went batshit whilst my niece was either into everything, trying to climb the stairs or bored. Madness...... one is a piece of piss in comparison. Wah need a sit down to de-stress!

[Kyzordz]

Eek YW i don't envy you! We have my 7 month old niece and DS tomorrow for the day. I find it mad enough when DSis is here to sort out my niece never mind when she isn't! Going to focus on merely surviving the day!

[PetiteRaleuse]

YW I think it's easier when they're both your own children. I'm glad we have an 19 month gap. It feels right. It's hard every single fucking hour of every single fucking day sometimes but in the long term will be easier.

[PetiteRaleuse]

Kyz your octopus is lovely :)

[kissyfur]

Love the octopus Kyz! It looks great so far to me. I wish I could knit or crochet

[Kyzordz]

Thankyou pr

[Kyzordz]

Oops kissyfur didn't see you'd posted. Thankyou :) I can't crochet, can barely manage stocking stitch but my next project is a jumper for him do god only knows what I'll end up learning when I do that one if I ever finish the bloody octopus!

[GTbaby]

Haven't posted in so long that the thread disappeared from my list.

Hope you are all well and LOs are keeping you smiling.

[Contradictionincarnate]

I am no longer a bf in public virgin!!
bf in bf support group so probably doesn't count as much but still feel proud!
I had to though please let dd last week be a growth spurt she was moaning so had a whole boob in the class got back 30 mins later and she is screaming hungry!!

[Contradictionincarnate]

I want to be last on this post!!!!

[PurplePidjin]

Octopus is fab! I can't knit but love to crochet and sew. Managed a fleece soaker the other day with R watching from his bumbo, and have 2 hats need finishing for people. Also a potential hat stockist :o

[TheDetective]

Motherfuckin' insurance cunts!

Ahhhh. That is better!!

More to the point, fucking arsing bastarding DP!

Even better!

Spent the whole of yesterday evening trying to sort out DP's car insurance. It should have only cost us £10 a month more, £5 if we added my mum to it. But, no. The fucking penny grabbing cunts have changed their policies. Now, if you haven't owned the car for a year, you get charged a massive increase! £55 a month!!!!!

3 weeks ago, they did not do this. Now, because we sold the car, we were fucked no matter what we did. Whatever car we bought would bring a massive increase on to the policy.

I could I did cry. It seems crazy.

Was on the internet/phone trying to sort it from 8am this morning. I thought I had found the cheapest option, which was for DP to have my newer grrrr car, and me to have my mums. But oh fucking no. He won't have it. What a selfish bastard. He reckons a clio is too small for him. So why did he buy one 4 years ago when he first had driving lessons? The only reason he sold that clio (before he passed his test) was because it was double the cost of insurance than his Fabia. I'm mad at him. I've just had to fork out £320 for the insurance increase for the rest of the year. So so mad, why the fuck couldn't he just suck it up and take my car. I don't want him to have my car, but I would have done it because it saved us money.

Between him and the insurance companies, I'm hoping mad.

I told him this wasn't the best idea in the first bloody place. I was hesitant to do this because we needed to save money. The whole thing has cost us more money now. Urghhhh.

Anyway, now he is in a car that I trust a little more, he has gone off to pick DS1 up from my mum, and taken O with him. Which means, for the first time in what seems like forever. I AM CHILD FREE! Can't say I'm enjoying it yet. Because I'm still annoyed.

Oh, and the other way car insurance companies are now trying to rip customers off is by massively increasing the APR for monthly payments. I did some quotes for new policies for him, and one example was £860 for the year, but the total for monthly payments was £1580!! Almost double the cost! And this wasn't just one company. This was almost every single company. The only ones who didn't do it were the companies that just charged more in the first place.

Be warned...

[Clarella]

oops checking in with 25 to go ....... sorry hope all are well won't even pretend to have lurked nor caught up! will try harder next time!