October 2012... PELVIC FLOORS!

[Londonmrss]

Ready...
Steady...
And squeeze!

feeling very very anxious today. probably another shitty nights sleep ahead. ugh :(

Hugs mickey

There's a good thread in the sleep section about dreading the uncertainty of the night ahead - you're not alone :)

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1675331-Does-anyone-else-just-find-the-unpredictability-of-nighttime-really-hard

Hello!

Can I join in? Been half reading your thread with interest more to see if what is happening is happening to others!!

Ds born 27/10 weighing 8lb a very rocky start were ok!!

Am on the nov group too but gave recently been reading your group with interest as your babies are the same age if not older so I can ask questions!!

Hi horsey! Our sons were born on the same day Congrats!

Tweeted that my job title had been abolished and that I wouldn't be returning to it post-maternity leave.

Bawled out by management.

Fucked, really, as far as current employer goes.

Have not gave!!

Elpis I went in tues to work to be told my job as I know it is no longer there, however the job I would be doing required promotion was that ok? Erm yes thanks!!

squid (or anyone else) please can you remind me which ones the reusable nappies you're using? I hate the bambinex because they're so bulky, but the ones you use on Jess look much better and I think our babies are a similar size. I know you told me but I'm stupid and I forgot.

Elpis oh no! Sorry do you mean that they hauled you up for what you said on Twitter? Oh no! What next!

Welcome welcome horsey!! My DS was born the day after your little one.

Oh I mis read that :( that's awful Elpis :( as much as the nhs can be painful to work for, it's nothing like the private sector. What is your job? Is there not some sort of protection for your job while your not there? That said I'm very naive about private sector work!!

Hi, both children finally asleep so have got a little time to read thread and attempt some replies. Bear with me, this thread does move extraordinarily fast.

yomping Everyone has written lovely supportive things to me on this thread, but your post stood out in particular because you described almost exactly how I have been feeling, I too have felt anger that DS is still crying despite my every effort and that saddens me and makes me dislike myself. I m sorry that you are ill, and hope you feel better soon, its hard enough looking after a difficult baby when you are well never mind when you are not...thank you for being so honest about how you are feeling, it really helped me to know I am not alone.

Zara Thanks for taking the time to facebook me, i appreciate it, and you re quite right, its fine to leave DS to cry for 5 mins whilst I help DD with something, I need to remember that.

crazypaving Its so nice to know other people have been through the same things I m going through and have come out the other end with sanity intact.

smorgs so sorry about your friend, we re all so lucky to have our babies on this thread, even when they are difficult, hard to know what to say but what you wrote sounded lovely.

lisbethsopposite cant believe I had forgotten how hard work having a baby was or maybe I just had my rose tinted specs on when I decided to have another child but yes just surviving is key at the moment.

Mickey I ve tried just using normal nail files on Ds, hard work though because he hates me holding his hand still,but at least he cant scratch so much anymore.

first HV has also suggested weaning to me as a solution to Ds and hos constant grumpiness, really dont think he is reasy yet, so I m holding out a while longer, but all babies are different and you know your own baby best.

londonmrs My son cant sit up unaided and whilst grumpy is nt showing any real signs of weaning either, although he did plunge his hand into my cornflakes yesterday, then burst out crying, not sure why really. He has not interest in rolling either, and that worries me a little, he is such a grumpy, serious little person, although he does like to stand.

Anyway, i m off to watch some television and eat cake, but I have been to Gp today, who was nice and sympathetic. She suggested anti depressants and maybe some counselling. I m a bit skeptical of the tablets but I think I ll give them a go and am considering the counselling thing, not great at talking about my feelings but on the other hand I dont want to look back in a few years and wish I d got help sooner. On the plus side, I do feel loads better today, MIL had Ds and I got spend some time with DD, we spent all afternoon climbing imaginary mountains, fighting imaginary crocodiles and living on a desert tropical island worrying about tornadoes! Five year olds are great!!

turnwest please do consider seeing the psychologist. We're used to working with people who find talking difficult. Honestly, it's our job to help make you comfortable, and create a space for 'you'. You can just be if you want. Go for an assessment you don't have to commit if you don't want to. But it might be an hour that you get to spend on just yourself, which it sounds like you need right now.

Another NHS-er! Welcome! Mine is two days older :-)

Oh no Orenishii Sorry I didn't mean it like that. DD is sleeping through the night (at the moment, crosses fingers and touches lots of wood) I have been plagued with nightmares this week and have become quite the insomniac.

I know why I feel so anxious today.
Me and DM were talking about an old friend of hers from her antenatal class that she had lost contact with. She was sad that life had got in the way and they had just grown apart. The friend and her son were in a similar situation to us before my mum got together with my stepdad so we used to do alot together. Her son is the oldest friend I have, although like our mums, life has got in the way and we just don't talk much.
His mum got cancer a few years ago, and it soon became terminal. DM has seen her friend only a few times since her diagnosis, but spoke briefly over text. She was saying today how she hadn't got in contact with her for a long time so I told her to text her, there and then. And then didn't think any more of it.
I came home a few hours ago and saw that her son was on facebook, so I asked him how she was.
She died. Last August. My oldest friend lost his mum in august, and I didn't know. I feel like a very very shit friend. I wasn't there for him and I should have been.
He seems happy enough, and seems to be coping quite well but god, its just crap.
I had to ring my mum and tell her. She sounds awful. :(

Now I definately won't be sleeping.

turnwest am very pleased that the GP is helping. It may be worth to take the tablets just in the short run- it doesn't mean you will be on them forever. take care pet.

elpis oh dear. thats unbelievably shit. you can have my job if you like?

oh and, baby swimmers out there, whats the best swim nappy going?

mickey I use boots with a neoprene cover over the top.

thanks horsey and welcome by the way- sorry I missed you earlier.

Zara - Yes, they wanted to keep the fact they were semi-automating the section I edited a secret, as it looks bad. Of course I said nothing controversial, but given contacts kept asking what was happening and the automation began a fortnight ago, I thought it reasonable to explain what was happening, because I like to be straightforward. In this instance it was a mistake, politically. But I do feel oddly liberated. Like some of you, I've been messed around a great deal and have really had enough.

Crazy, don't worry they're unshelled edamame (nice and hairy) and massive grapes, but they don't go in his mouth.
Well done for surviving bed time!

Smorgs. I meant to say what you wrote to your friend was lovely. I think it's so hard to say the right thing because there is no right thing. Just being there is all you can do. So sad.

Welcome Horsey, my DS is just one day older.

Mickey I'm so sorry. Try not to feel too bad, there was no way you could have known. I hope you manage to get some sleep.

Glad the doctor was sympathetic Turn and that you have a plan of action.
Your DD sounds great!

Meeting up with friends later, really tempted to cancel as I'm so tired, but I must get out the house. I always regret it when I stay in, besides, I know DS won't nap at home so I wouldn't get any rest anyway.

elpis I always find it amazing when news organisations tell journalists not to spread news if it reflects badly on them. Umm hello? It's our job to tell people stuff I think it would be against the rules for them to hold it against you though? Like you said you were only keeping contacts informed. I told an industry mag something when we had redundancies a few years back and the shit hit the fan in a big way. I was sick with nerves for ages and convinced they would find out it was me. But it died down in a few days, people have bigger fish to fry.

turnwest great to hear from you again you sound much more positive! The gp sounds like they had some good advice. There will be ups and downs along the way but you have started on the journey to feeling better. Really well done. Thanks for your kind words to me. You sound like an awesome mummy with all those games you played!

mickey I'm sure your friend will understand you've had other things to occupy you recently. You can be there for him now at least and I'm sure he'd like to hear your memories of his mum.

Agh another shitty night. I'm beyond exhausted.

cherry I know I'm due to go to someone's house today but I really feel like sacking it off. On the other hand she might have some cake I can eat...

Yes, cake is the big motivator for me at the moment. Said friend likes to bake.

londonmrss we're using the bamboozle stretchies, they seem good for little'uns like ours.

This thread is keeping me amused while I feed...
Funny things kids say

turnwest so glad you've been to GP and that they were sympathetic. Just keep going and it WILL get better.
mickey hope you got some sleep tonight. Horrible situation but not your fault.
smorgs and cherry I feel your pain. I am utterly knackered. Dd1 is now also poorly (high temp and miserable). Poor little girl. Selfishly, I am sorry she's poorly because I was going to go and eat cake with a friend and her baby but I think I'll be at home with my poorly girlie and I find it so much harder to cope on my own in the house than if I can get out. Rubbish mum .
Oh well. Keep plodding on.

Arghhhh you're very chatty today

On the whole weaning thing... I'm planning on leaving it as long as possible 1. because solids nappies are yuk, and 2.I'm lazy and don't want to have cart bits of food everywhere yet or clean up the mess. Saying that, she was staring intently and chewing as I was eating an orange earlier so I gave her a sniff and she licked it and looked quite impressed! orenishii I had been wondering the same thing and the only reason I came up with for giving baby porridge rather than normal stuff is because it's got iron added to it? And no sign of sitting up unsupported either. And also has gone off the rolling recently too! Have these babies secretly been communicating???

londonmrss we are using fuzzibunz reusable nappies... they have separate adjustments for waist and legs so fit skinnies and chubbas! Really easy to put on too (DH finds them heaps easier than sposies even) and definitely not too bulky unless you put 3 pads in there for nighttimes!

Elpis for you about work. Especially as smorgs said, you're really just doing your job as a journo! Crikey you will be needing lots of with DH away for so long. Make sure he returns with duty free

Mickey sorry to hear your sad news and that your dad is still potentially going to cause problems for you. That would be my worst nightmare always worrying that I'd come home one day and find someone I was desperate to stay away from on my doorstep. It's great to hear things age good with your DD too We like good news!

smorgs what you wrote to your friend was lovely. I've probably fallen in the 'not known what to say so saying nothing' camp many times in the past, so will probably use something similar in the future I think! Hope last night was better for you too

turnwest your afternoon with DD sounds lovely I'm quite looking forward to being able to properly play with my DD in a couple of years time! Glad you have got some help too

zara at 400ml in 60 mins, even with a spew... trying to be a future AB