November 2012 - We want rattles and we want them now

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1671393-November-2012-Vent-chat-or-brag

Major trauma chez moi... We haz no internet. DH, who typically spends 17 hours a day sat at his computer (i am not exaggerating), is bereft and resembling more and more an angry bear. Apparently there has been a big outage over a large area so no amount of growling at plusnet call centre staff is going to help this one. I've had to discard the tablet as its functionality is highly limited without the internet and am reduced to using my phone to get on mumsnet. It has taken the best part of twenty minutes to get here, to this page. Grr.
VQ sorry your doctor visit was not as useful as it could have been. Good that you are seeing health visitor though.
Hopefully net will be back on in the early hours. I will come see you all again then!

It's a shame the GP wasn't very helpful VQ, I hope you get more joy from the HV on Monday.

Pikz my suggestion would be to how yourself a deadline to work to, I've mentioned this a couple of times. Say you'll continue ebf until 16 weeks (or whatever date works for you) and then introduce one bottle of formula a day. See how that goes and maybe up it to two bottles after another four weeks if you can keep your suppky going. Then you'll be starting weaning so that would be a good time to stop expressing altogether as you'll have your hands full with solid feeds.

Awww VQ big big hug. Fecking doctors. Want me to come over and rough them up for you? If in doubt maybe go to OOH? I can't (well sadly I can) believe such a response in the modern world. Its so hit and miss - its so wrong that the treatment you get is shaped by how well informed the doc is. I do hope J's isn't CMPI and the bottles help rather than hinder.

horsey am so thrilled you got an enlightened doc!

To be fair I reckon I only got the meds I insisted on due to the surgery previously prescribing what could have been a fatal dose of thrush meds and them being scared I might sue!!!!!!!

MM It was lovely to see you and M. Sorry J was so screechy - am hoping its post jags reflux not an issue with pork. Crackling is about the only comfort food I've got left!

Stunt you are a wise lady. Thank you.

Oh and Jonas too is guaranteed to be the picture of health grinning his 'my crazy Mummy has Münchhausens by proxy' smile when we go to the docs. Little bugger

hugs to those needing them :( hope you feel better soon, its crappy feeling crappy :( wish I had something more useful to say!

passme has P always been like that with your mum? I know there's a friend you mentioned that she did it to every time. Not sure what to suggest, this past week my LO has decided most of the time only I will do, he doesn't really coo or giggle much but was smiling at dp's dad the other night but refused to even look at him when he held him! Then today he wouldn't have any of it with dp's mum, yesterday he had a scream at grandparents (to be fair that time he was tired and they will insist on cuddling him and he wanted to be left to sleep). Is P usually quite smiley etc? LO can be such a happy chap sometimes, and is capable of amusing himself or being content at least but recently he's been all smiley one minute then whingy and miserable and just generally bad company the next. Something makes him smile big beaming smiles and within a few minutes he is making unsatisfied noises at it and seeming most unimpressed. He does seem to be getting worse with other people though and I've no idea how to fix this! I'm guessing your mum has tried to calm her herself? Walking and bouncing and all the rest of the usual things?

Should come with instructions these little people!!!!

pikz I think what I would be doing is dropping the night expressing if baby is asleep and you have a chance to sleep. Perhaps get up a bit early to express, and only express for comfort or if LO is napping. Missing out on sleep and cuddles is simply not on. It is, as always, up to you, but you have permission from us to cut back and stop x

pikz what you have done is amazing. But you need to enjoy your baby too. Can you find a blalnce? Give some formula to give yourself a break?

VQ hope you get somewhere with th HV. As for potential PND, I think it is hugely difficult. Worth discussing with the HV too? I defy any new parent not to identify with the majority of those symptoms. Which is why it is so hard. You have given lots of good advice to people on this thread. Ask yourself what advice you would give to one of us if we were saying what you are. Then do that

daisy am so impressed. I go back soon but still paniked by how I will manage to fit work in and function on unpredictable sleep.

Today I rearranged all the furniture in the entire house. I'm spending too much time at home.

Lovely to see you both too YW ! As soon as you left M had her biggest tantrum to date, she was clearly saving it up for after you guys had gone so to make us sound like total liars with a well-behaved baby. Little bugger!

DP had been less of a twat today. He's clearly making an effort but is still driving me mad. Take this morning for instance:

Me, about to clean the kitchen: "oh can you just keep an eye on her. She's happy in her swing."
Him: "Just leave that, I'll clean the kitchen"
^progress, I thought..."
I went through to the kitchen 30 mins later, he is nowhere to be seen and it's messier than when I left it. Glance outside and the f-ing man child is stalking the washing line with a grabber thing. Like a bloody wild cat! Twat.

I could not work at the moment, as if I did I would be asleep all the time. Probably would not see any deterioration in my clients.

MM did she finally poo?!

VQ it sounds like the dr was spouting crap. I am really cross on your behalf. Fucking shitty unhelpful bastards.

Pikz you are amazing, I struggle with expressing once a day and I always think of you when I do! Hope that isn't weird.

Lots of Mums sounding... weary. Hugs and flowers and that to those who need them. Magic Flowers that come in a vase with self-cleaning water so they don't add to your To Do lists.

My ILs are here. They are nice people and made us dinner but it's always wearing having guests. It's made me hyper aware of how much L screams.

Hi pikz, i've just been taking things very slowly.

We've worked up to almost full feeds when it comes to ff.

In the beginning he maybe just had an oz or two then I would bf too.

We're now at the stage where he'll take 5oz in one ff.

At the moment I give Alex a ff at 11am and 8.30pm, he goes off to bed at 9.00pm. I breastfeed the rest of the time.

I still night feed too, I find that I'm full and sore in the night but Alex is shuffling and ready for a feed by then anyway.

wow piktz my dd is 9 weeks bf and I really struggle to find the time and motivation to express... I'm also almost always thinking just one more boob in the continual night cluster feeds ...

Hi yw, we have been prescribed dektarin for Alex's thrush after so many failed goes at the nystatin. The prescription will be ready to collect tomorrow from chemist, can't remember dose details. Out of interest did you use dektarin and if yes how much per use?

Bad reflux in the pig house tonight . She has the most dresdful wet sounding hiccups and keeps screwing her little face up in pain. She's so overtired and keeps getting herself so worked up bless her.

Vq - there's always a&e. I know a lady who saw her gp and then went straight to a&e. Straight away baby checked, lady listened to, meds prescribed!! Ds is a happy baby. He's been even happier tonight. And I've not done 20 loads of washing from all the puke. Bonus. I suspect he'll be less happy if he can't pop.

Pikz- are you going to look back and say 'I'm glad I exclusive breast fed my child' or 'I wish I'd spent more time with him'. Set a goal, have a plan in place but I know from less than two weeks of doing it (unsuccessfully) how soul destroying expressing can be. ESP in the middle of night. You are amazing, you know that. In no way have you or will you fail.

All our money goes into one pot. I hardly ever buy anything for me. My horse has a lot and now ds will. I don't mind. Both are more than worth it. Dh and I never argue about money. What's the point?! In fact we don't argue huge amounts. Usually about me the dying his clothes, or him not seemingly noticing clutter and dirt or smelling the cat litter tray.

We've had a bad reflux day too - am hoping its linked to jags not pork. Let's hope they all have a better day tomorrow.

Yip we had daktarin gel for him and cream for me. I think it was a pea sized amount 2 or 4x a day but can't remember - sorry it was early December and my brain is now mush.

Horsey that's really interesting what your doc said about the stomach sphincter loosening just as its strengthening. I hope that's what's happening here and we're nearly over the worst. Poor little soul refluxed up his reflux meds this evening - oh the irony - he seems a lot better now thank goodness.

It's partly my fault, as I haven't given her her gaviscon 2 nights in a row - mainly as I haven't been able to express due to broken nipples and she won't take it mixed with water. It's so awful to know thet're in pain and you can't do anything about it. She's finally nodded off on my chest, don't dare move!

Strokes VQ's head. I'm sorry the GP was a shithead. I hope the HV proves a damn site more useful. Fucking cop out, feeding is a HV issue. No, a baby made sick from feeding is your issue knobcheese.

Good GP's are so rare - I'm glad you got one Horsey.

I'm with YW on the opinion that if it was a man suffering these varying problems, then it damn well would be taken seriously. I know no one can perform miracles, but doing nothing isn't always the answer.

I was so angry listening to call me dave wittering on the radio about the NHS, I forget, is it Stafford Hospital? The systemic failings are largely to do with funding, and staff to patient ratios. No one bar a few crazy types goes in to health care thinking they want to deliberately harm people, or act negligently. But they are fighting a system which is designed to punish those who complain about conditions, and get threatened with disciplinary because they are failing to do their job if they say they can't cope with the workload.

I desperately want to leave midwifery as it is in the NHS. This is not what I signed up for. Sorry Glenda I know you are starting your training. I know some Trusts are better than others. I hope you get a good one! Oh - I prefer PNW and community btw. ANW too. LW is my least preferred mainly due to the management, not the workload. Sneeze wrong and they want your head on a plate.

Ooops, totally sidetracked. Anyway, what I was trying to get to was to say that GP's are so damn reluctant to prescribe things because of cost. And who's fault is it that the NHS is being run as a business. Health care is not a fucking business! It's peoples lives. It should not be about money. Health and education are the two things that should not be expected to save costs continuously.

I'd love to set up my own little birth centre. Or perhaps do my own antenatal education classes. There are some things which I often think about doing as a business, but I'll never be in the financial position fucking DP!! to do it. Except maybe as a sideline.

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

dd managed 30 mins of sleep so far tonight new record.

I take my hat off to those of you with poorly babies.

I'm :( as Oscar has his first snotty nose. A proper snot bomb exploding out his nose all day long.

We had a crap night, he fed 3 hourly last night, and wanted to start the day at 7, which isn't like him.

Then he decided to refuse to feed from 8.30am til 4.30pm,I managed to get 2oz down him at 1, but it was a struggle. He's had 3 feeds since 4.30, but his bedtime one was an hour long affair just to get 4oz down. And now he has just woken up after being put down at 10. I've got the snot sucker on suck overdrive, purchased nasal drops, and the basket is propped up by my v shape pillow. He has a rash on his arms, but I'm assuming this is a viral rash. Will keep an eye on it.

He's fine in himself, he did sleep more today, but when awake has been happy. Poor bugger! He just looks confused at the difficulty he is having breathing!

If he'd just waited another 2 weeks, we could of broke open the Karvol capsules. Damnit!

I took him swimming stupid arse idea when he has a cold as we have our little routine, fridays is swimming, and then we go in to town, and I have lunch, and a browse in the shops. But another mum invited me for coffee after swimming. My first new mummy friend! Except it turned out she realised she recognised me. I looked after her on the PNW back in July. D'oh. I hate mixing business with pleasure! I find myself being careful what I say...?! Anyway, it was bound to happen at some point. A lot of mums here have their babies where I work!

Have done a deep clean of house this evening. I am feeling fly. I like a clean house. It's lovely. :)

I'm so in for another crap night. Luckily DP has tomorrow as a holiday day, so at least we can share said crap night!

Cat we have no internet here too am on next doors shhhhh. Virgin are fucked . The TV has been on and off for 2 days mostly off. I need to ring them to complain. CBA though, as I hate call centres.

Stupid Virgin.

I have to say, despite my moans, I am so grateful that DP is around. We really do share things. Even if I have to ask him... but without him here, I'd probably be on my knees in shit.

I think having him around, and the fact Oscar has been relatively easy as babies go (they are never 'easy'!) has saved me from PND.

My broken fanjo alone would be enough to send me on to happy pills, but the fact everything else is pretty good means I try not to dwell on it.

My birth with DS1, and the isolation that followed sent me to dark places. I never recovered. Not really. Not til now. I feel like I'm living in colour again.

It's strange. Very strange.

I've typed a paragraph 3 times, trying to explain my feelings about depression vs PND. It isn't coming across right, so i'll leave it. All I do want to say is, depression is a normal part of life, and nothing to feel in any way ashamed of. Some depression is treatable with life changes - such as DP/DH's being more supportive less twat like, or family helping out with things etc. Sometimes more in depth things like counselling or medication can be helpful. So if you feel this might be you, please talk to your nearest and dearest, and your GP or HV, whatever your preference. But don't feel there is anything wrong with feeling depressed. Our lives have all changed to the unrecognizable in the last few months.

I have too much milk Not sure what to do about it but J isn't taking enough and I ended up expressing 10oz yesterday and 6oz today to relieve enforcement which is only going to make it worse. I'm wondering if I missed a growth spurt as his sleep is generally pretty unreliable anyway and that has upped my supply. I'll try and cut down on the expressing to 2-4oz tomorrow to get back to normal feeds. He won't take a bottle any more so there's no point expressing at the moment.

After me being so pleased about J's weight gain, DS1 has dropped to the 0.4 percentile and is getting to be scary thin. I tried to get him to try DS2's supplements but he wouldn't. Back to the dietitian for him, although it hasn't done any good in the past. It might be better to start the cheeseburger and pizza diet.