December 2012 - the sleep and poo thread (too much of one, not enough of the other)

[PurplePidjin]

Grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt feed grunt grunt sleeeeeeep grunt grunt feed......

Some one returned the devil child to me yesterday, minimal sleep and constant feeding through the day, massive tantrum in the evening and now being a little monster when going down. Took 2hrs and multiple tries to get him to sleep, and now he has woken to feed, fell asleep straight away on the boob, but woke up as soon as I put him down. Hope this is just a 24hr growth spurt!

Ds won't go to sleep either he's just wide awake!

:( think I gave G my cold. or he's morphing into a hedgehog

I know, Mama, what's my problem, eh?

I'm getting lots of offers of help. Not so much the actual showing up to do stuff...

Ah push, how frustrating. You shouldn't have to, but I wonder if you could get all military about it:

X- I'd love to help, you know, bring over a meal or something.
Pidj- that would be fab (whips out phone/diary) Dinner for Thurs would be best. Can you pop round in Thurs? Or leave something frozen earlier in the week?

Y- I'd love to hep.
Pidj- and I'd love you to Hoover. Are you busy on tues afternoon? No! Shall I see you at 2pm?

Edward practically rolled off our very low bed just now. I had dropped off to sleep whilst feeding.

It has really upset me. I feel like such a bad mother.

I second mama's suggestion - if you 'book' them in they might be more inclined to follow through on offers? Or as clarella said if you're part of a church/social group they can be good at rallying at least for things like dropping off food, so you have time for other things than cooking. What about locals you know through your crochet group? I bet they'd be happy to be asked? Or shameless abuse of grandparents' goodwill? Fx the HV will have useful suggestions too.

Puts my evening in perspective - O had a meltdown and wouldn't stop crying for an hour (probably less!) despite me doing everything I could think of, ended up in tears feeling totally helpless which is a massive overreaction given what others are going through.
Am really not good at this though as am used to being the one asked/able to sort out anything. In the end dh took him and managed to calm him in 5 minutes. He tries not to interfere and keeps telling me I'm doing brilliantly but with episodes like this it's hard to believe him. He's much more natural at it and I just feel like I'm trying to trick O and everyone else that I am when I'm actually guessing everything.

fod you're not, just exhausted I bet. Sending supportive hugs/. Can you wedge a rolled up towel along the edge for future feeding?

Usually I would have put a pillow down the edge. It's really shaken me up and I can't stop crying.

oh night time cocoa all round .

pidg I wonder if the physio team would know of any sources of help?

friend. I'm sure he's ok? you could stack pillows around you to avoid it next time - make you feel better.

utopian it's hard when that happens. I had that the other night. sometimes they are justIn an over tired fettle and can't even remember what they're upset about. it sounds like the distraction of a 'fresh face' helped but is no reflection on you.

oh I'm sorry friend. but he is fine. you're just a very conscientious mum plus tiredness plus hormones xx

After a pretty rubbish night out smoke alarms have been going off every ten minutes four am for not reason at all.

FoD you're not a rubbish mum three things happen

Fod it was an accident these things happen. No way are you a bad mum.

Pidj - second what everyone is saying book them in it'll make such a difference - you're not super woman,you've just had a baby and are coping with an unusual situ take the help.

Utopian I feel like that sometimes but you're doing great, remember they don't come with a manual and it kinda is all about instinct.

Spotty - argh so annoying - has DD woken up with it?

Well we seem to be on 3 hourly feeds

She slept through the first few times but is up now.

Utopian ds has had a couple of nights like that. I just cuddled him and said oh dear poor ds blah blah and stayed really calm as I think they pick up on your stress. It's horrible when you can't do anything for them bit sometimes they do cry for no reason. It could be that if your dh hadn't taken him he would have zonked out on you in ten minutes anyway and it was more luck than skill

Oh and ds is 7+4 today and I have now been exclusively (minus two failed attempts at formula but we can ignore those right?) breastfeeding for six weeks

F's behaviour last night was part over tired, and just discovered part poo. He has just done his biggest poo so far, so if he would like to go back to sleep, that would be marvellous!

Fod don't forget babies are built for bumps, so if he is crying he is probably just in shock. The cat head butted F yesterday (he hurts me when he head buts!) and F didn't even flinch.

Oh FoD, I understand. We beat ourselves up a lot in this game! I just let C cry for a while as her cries sounded a lot like the ones she does in her sleep when trying to poo or fart. Then I touched her face and she whipped round instantly - she was hungry, and awake! So now of course I feel terrible for having let her cry so long. But now she's fed, she did a ttextbook burp on the first go at winding (so proud!) and is fast asleep and happy again. So If your little one is fine (and it sounds like it) then everything's fine.

Smoke alarms still keep going off. Dd has gone to MIL's and ds is asleep so I could have had a lie in

fod I know it's hard but try not to be too hard on yourself - if one us posted your post would you be saying we were rubbish? No, well then don't say it about yourself! He didn't actually come to any harm, and I'm afraid near misses and accidents are just part of life. The fact that you are so upset shows how much you love him and so what a great mum you are.

Well done spotty

Fod by the time all our babies are 9 months they will be quite a number that have fallen off beds, sofas and changing tables. You will all say it won't happen to you,but no one means it to happen. Ds1 fell off the bed once, and rolled off his cot top changer into the cot. They usually don't hurt themselves as they don't fall like non babies. Don't feel bad please.

FOD there's a bit in Modern Family where Mitchell and Cameron accidentally hit Lily's head on the ceiling so they take her to a paediatrician, who tells them what I've been telling myself every day: babies are made to withstand new parents. The number of times we've plopped Z down on the changing table and thought "hmm, did that a bit hard didnt I" but he hasn't even batted an eyelid. Let's not get into him not crying at that but crying when his clothes are touching him a bit funny.

Hi all - I have started a thread about longhaul travel with babies, so if anyone has any experience or opinions, please let me know!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/longhaul/1661697-Travelling-longhaul-with-a-3-5-month-old-or-5-month-old

FoD the fact that your so upset proves that your a good mum. Don't beat yourself up about it, accidents happen.

Utopian i always find that other people are much better at settling H. I think sometimes its down to the fact she just wants to smell someone else, she spends the majority of her time with me so someone else is like a novelty. But when she does it and i'm feeling sleep deprived i immediately assume its because she hates me.

Pidj sorry to hear your husbands ill, your doing a great job to keep it together.

Hmm, supposed to be traveling by train from Newcastle to derby tomorrow and coming back Sunday. Anyone round that part of the world any suggestions as to whether its worth the risk with the weather? We're taking D to meet his great-grandparents so want to go but are staying with evil mil so do not want to get stuck there. Plus have hospital appt on Monday so can't afford to get stuck. Any thoughts?