October 2012 babies part 2: winding, yawning and grizzling, and first smiles?

[YompingJo]

Part 2: in which our babies learn to sleep through the night and make us tea in the morning

0530 wake up, feed, change, settle, feed again, settle again so can leave baby in bed with boyfriend, get up, breakfast, workout, shower, pack bag, drive to leeds, give crying sis with 2 wk old baby big hug and say "IT WILL GET BETTER" (first day my brother is back at work), entertain crying 2 year old ("I WANT DADDY" - sis -"me too"), feed jess, make sis eat, make sis tea, juggle three kids while sis has shower and lie down, admit defeat on tidying sis's kitchen even with jess in the sling, roll eyes at health visitor who now congratulates sis for exclusively bf after telling her to top up with formula last week, feed jess, babysit 2 yr old while sis goes to hospital for appt with her baby, wtch Cars 2 dvd (hey i'm not that heroic), using some sort of black magic manage to get toddler and jess to sleep AT THE SAME TIME, read book for 2 hrs feeling like a god, feed jess, give sis more hugs snacks and tea when she gets home, drive back home, feed jess, beg bofriend to come home soon, somebody give me !!

(actually i quite enjoyed the day, i like feeling useful)

going back tomorrow!
you guys with toddlers are heroes!!

bloody hell squid

aw sis just sent me this
3 under 3!

Oh and I considered breastfeeding niece today when she cried while sis was in the shower but chickened out

Go go Aunty Squid!!!

Sympathy and hugs to others with grumpy babies. It's not a barrel of laughs sometimes. I know I shouldn't wish the newborn days away but here's hoping they cheer up soon! I found Wonder Weeks book a bit unhelpful... "your baby is having a developmental spurt and will be feeling insecure. she will want lots of comforting...". Great, when you have a baby who will not be comforted!

I phoned my hv last week, wanted to see if there is any stress management type support out there, have been feeling stress levels rising, sometimes get cross with poor mini yomping for not latching properly or not stopping crying when I try to soothe her, and am getting scared I will be rough with her or take it out on her. When things don't work how they should (such as latching on), sometimes it makes me so mad and irrational that I want to throw things or punch walls :-( There is nowhere for this stress to go, I can't climb or run, my usual outlets aren't there at the moment. My dad used to get very stressed and used to hit me and my brother and sometimes he lost control and couldn't stop, so I feel like I have form with this and there have been a couple of occasions where I have lost control like that too. Terrified I might do it around Alice and want some help to let go. Hv visited today, was quite helpful, told me I need to be less hard on myself and let DH take Alice so I can have some down time. She did a questionnaire with me and I came out as having mild PND. Was a bit shocked. DH said he's not surprised and is worried about me :-(. Have to go and see doctor tomorrow. I do know I need to give myself a break, I'm doing my best and I can't do any more than that. But I don't know how to stop trying to do everything, or how to stop trying to get everything perfect. Gah. I feel post natally fucked off rather than depressed. Perhaps parenthood is not the best plan for a slightly aspergic, control freak perfectionist...

Smiley, glad you are home and children are better.

WantanOrange, hope your day got better.

So Kate is pregnant?'! My advice?? Join Mumsnet!!!

yomping I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. Your HV is right to tell you not to be so hard on yourself. You're doing a great job and the reason you're beating yourself up is because you care for Alice so much. When you see your doctor make sure you tell them exactly how you're feeling so they can sort out the appropriate help. My HV has also gone through the questionnaire with me and my score was moderate. She's referring me for counselling and I'm seeing my doctor on wednesday. I'm a very routine based person and DD1 has been a shock to my system!

Sending you hugs

Yomping I'm sorry you went through that with your Dad. The fact you have asked for help shows what a great mum you are. The strongest parents are the ones who reach out and get help when they need it.

Whoever coined the term "dont cry over spilled milk" obviously hadn't just dumped a5oz bottle of expressed breast milk all over the floor.

yomping well done for asking for help. You are doing a great job and you will start to get rewards from little A soon xx

Beeble I too would hav cried my eyes out. 5 bloody oz........ That absolutely sucks

yomping the fact that you are asking for help shows what a good mother you are. You care about Alice so much that you are willing to put your hand up and say you're not coping - that takes real courage. You will not repeat your father's behaviour because you are aware of yourself and not afraid to ask for help.

My mother was emotionally and physically abusive and had serious undiagnosed MH issues. My biggest fear is that I will treat my beautiful precious boy the same way mystery treated me. My friends and real family (ie DH and his family) assure me that it won't happen because I was so willing to talk about it. That's why when I came on here during my bf problems I did want to say I was having self-harm thoughts, it's important to voice it or it will eat you away.

I know you don't feel it right now but you should be so so proud of yourself for asking for help.

My mother not mystery!!

Y y to wantanorange saying the strongest parents are the ones who know when to ask for help!!

mickey can't remember if you are bf or ff sorry , but if you are ff (or not adverse to using a bottle) I was advised a bit of cooled boiled water for constipation. If you don't want to offer a bottle then a syringe with cooled boiled water?

Or in the meantime you could bicycle baby's legs? This works wonders for DS when he is grizzly and farty!

squid you are a hero and a great sister!

Need to start finding some baby yoga and exercise classes to do here in NZ. The city I am in is not where most of my friends live (actually most live overseas now - NZ is a nation of expats!) so feeling a touch lonely without DH. Will find out about mum and baby groups. Wonder if there are any NZ Mumsnetters about??

Took baby for a walk on the beach and a coffee yesterday, was lovely! Off to GP for his second 6 week check today and his first jab.

Mickey am just about to post same thread in BFing boards as our bean seems to be constipated again :( Midwife at out-of-hours at weekend advised cooled boiled water and a few drops of prune juice in it. Pharmacist gave us lactulose and a syringe and said 2.5mls twice a day but we're avoiding using anything unless things get critical. Bean seems to be going from a poop-every-two-days to every three days bean but she got really painful wind at weekend and then very subdued and sleepy until she pooped. Not sure if it's a growth thing.

Sorry to read and run x

Zara went to first baby yoga today and it was really cool :) Would have thought all that bloody stretching and massage might have helped the bean poop mind you...

Zara I'm so poor at remembering things...... R u staying in NZ for good or just visiting?? Sorry, I do pay attention. Really

My DS has slept and slept all day!! Days and days of feeding and crying and now a big sleep! Is he about to grow even more?? Must be something changing. Hope he sleeps tonight.

Started a bedtime cue last night. Bath then wee massage and dressed in bedroom, feed and story then when asleep in to bed with Ewan the sheep!! First time we used it proprly, seemed to work well! Asleep by 11.45, no wakey until 5am. Also no night wind or poos. Think the tummy tub helped get rid of wind

So fingers crossed we can try it all again tonight. Tho cannot believe he asleep at this time!!! Best laid plans.........

mickey sorry also can't remember if you're bf or ff. If bf it's quite common to go several days without a poo. Provided it's not hard when it does arrive, it's not actually constipation, just normal. Immature gut has a lot to answer for.... Not much fun for anyone sadly. Crikey when DS2 finally does do a poo it effing REEKS, none of this lovely breastfed baby poo I read about online.

yomping I can so relate to violent feelings towards the baby, and I have no family history of any of that (except for a strong strain of MH problems, but no physical abuse). Well done you for keeping it out in the open, but don't worry about it necessarily being an abnormal feeling. It really stood out for me when Elpis said she occasionally dressed her baby "roughly" to "punish" her - I used to do exactly the same kind of thing with DS1. I also came pretty close once or twice to hurting him. When you have a baby who cries constantly it is unbelievably hard and along with sleep deprivation it is completely understandable to be close to breaking sometimes. Don't be hard on yourself.

Last night DS2 was asleep by 8.30 and we were in bed by 9. Tonight he is fighting it - he's slept no longer than 40mins at a time today, and has fed almost constantly. Thank God DS1 was at the childminder, heaven only knows how i'm going to manage tomorrow with both of them. And what kind of night are we in for tonight agghhh.

Getting so many smiles and lots of "chatting" now though, it's lovely! Not sure it'd compensate for a night of 40min sleeps though....come on baby SLEEP

huffle just staying for 2 months to avoid most of the Northern Hemisphere winter! Back to Ireland in Feb

Oh Zara I am jealous....! Well Ireland waves hello!!!

5 hrs sleep is not as lovely when woken at 3.30...... Bath too early methinks. But will he learn to stretch it in time if I keep early??

Yomping sorry if this is something already discussed but is there any possibility that DD has silent reflux?? Would certainly make her cross.

Yomping. Hugs. And well done you for admitting that you need assistance. No shame in that. This newborn phase is mighty tough.

A quick domestic question for everyone... What washing powder you use? I have fairy non bio but it is rubbish at getting poo stains out. I soak in napisan and then add vanish to the wash and its not perfect.

Thanks ladies. Too tired and grumpy to contribute more. DD appears to be having her six week growth spurt a week early. Non stop feeding. Fun.

yomping I can't add anything wiser than the others have already said but the fact thy you are trying to nip this in the bud shows great honesty and character. I think you will make a great mum. If baby yomping is grumpy a lot I would get her checked out. Just to rule out anything like reflux. And here is some .

Well I have mastitis. Sweating like a beast, day 2 of being bed bound. And feeding MM by dangling my boob above him feel like a bloody cow. I wore a special breast feeding top which seemed to cause too much construction and blocked my ducts and he began to spread out his feeds. Hey presto mastitis. Work of the devil. Feel a little better today but slept all day yesterday which was bloody lovely except for the mastitis bit

London I use the same well DH does and also can't get those stubborn pooh stains out. Just trying method. Will let you know if that works.

It has been scary to admit to needing help, particularly with fear of hurting my little girl. A small irrational part of me is scared "they" will take her away from me because she is in danger . I have a double doctors appt early next week - could have had short appt today but thought longer one would be more helpful. Thank you again for support, you girls are a lifeline and I hope over the months I have given somewhere near the amount of help, understanding and support I have received. Zara, crazy and elpis (wherever you are), thank you for being so open, it's easy to feel alone (and pretty evil) with those sort of thoughts and it is kind, and brave, of you to admit to the same feelings.

Squid, a belated good god, what a crazy day, sounds kind of fun in an insane way... you are amazing, and a brilliant sister

haven't got long as am trying to get to clinic with will who is feeding (again) while. Ds1 is engrossed in toy story (again). But I wanted to give a big hug (even though they are frowned upon-didn't know that-been hugging all of ya for bloody months! Soz) to yomping and cheesy. That must be so hard to deal with. yomping your post was so heartbreakingly honest-I am so sorry you are being pushed to your limits. All the way through the antenatal thread you were preparing so carefully for every eventuality and are so knowledgeable about all things baby. i am not surprised that weeks and weeks of relentlessly caring for LO who won't be soothed is disappointing, frustrating and soul destroying for you. Like the others have said you are doing so amazingly well and being so sensible and brave getting the help you need. cheesy keep talking to us too. Let us know how the counselling goes. I am so glad we have crazy on board who has been through PND and come out fighting. Your advice is brilliant crazy and I admire you so much for putting yourself through all of this again after what you have been through. I guess that is the biggest encouragement to those struggling and the best proof that 'IT WILL GET BETTER!'

Midget gonna hug you too as your bear hugs have brightened many a tough time! Mastitis is such a bitch! Hope you get well v. V. Soon.

Big love to everyone xx

good luck in the mad house today squid. You are being such an amazing sis to voluntarily take on three of them! Your description of yesterday resembled the madness of life with 2 perfectly! At tea time yesterday I found myself eating my tea, feeding ds1 his tea, bfeeding ds2 and doing a fecking sticker picture at the same time! I was so chuffed with myself I would have given myself a high 5 if my one available hand wasn't a tad busy! Ha! Good luck today you superstar xxx