February 2011- the one where life gets better for all of us.

[GOLDdebka]

New thread open for business!!

I am anticipating MUCH weight loss, job improvements, sleeping babies, good health and one very eagerly anticipated BFP. :)

*Reastie, that's such a shame for your poor friend's little girl. :(

Ledkr, I really like Getorf, as a poster. I find her very funny! Is it strange meeting MNers? I've never ever met any! Most people always seem to live miles from me (or maybe they're just pretending that they do so that they can avoid me ) but tbf I've never been on the local boards. I'm terrified of seeing someone I know!

I'm like that but never knew a soul so far and I'm quite well known round these parts lol.
Getorf is not how I imagined very small and pretty [cow]

Is she not really really really tall? I'm sure I read that she's 6 ft. [starting to sound like a mad stalker] although anyone over 5'4 is tall to me .

Happy Mothers Day everyone!

I hope you all got spoiled I didn't

ledkr good going on potty training, I probably could do S now but I CBA . I always imagine GetOrf as a sort of female Lord Grantham out of Downton, all tweedy and carrying a gun!

reastie Bean rocks the knickers-over-clothes look too.

wiggles hope all well in your neck of the woods, I'm sure I saw something about Co Antrim on the news the other night...

Well DH and I had TWO NIGHTS AND TWO DAYS sans children, we went to Brighton for one night, it was lovely. Shopping was done...

Bloody blizzard here, I am SO OVER the snow and cold now. Someone please tell it to bugger off, it's not listening to me!

Sorry, HobKnob, no sympathy from me re the snow. Also I saw your rainbow cake photo on another thread, it looked fab. CBA to potty train?! I dream of a future without nappies!

Happy Mother's Day to everyone, I hope your partners children made it special for you.

L has learned to put his shoes on, will try to put his trousers on (almost always backwards) and is a master at getting his coat off (but not on). I've tried to let him pick out clothing but he wants to wear every shirt then has a breakdown when he can't.

I'm looking really rough now. The skin around my eyes is horribly dry, red and puffy. Even my mum commented on it via Skype yesterday. I can't wait for winter to bugger off so I can start moaning about the heat.

Hope everyone had a lovely Mother's Day!

I too wish that the snow and cold would bugger off! It's March FFS, it's supposed to be getting warmer!

american I sympathise. My eyes are really dry too. They're red and flaky underneath - the red can be covered with concealer but it still looks scaly and crusty [attractive]. I've been slathering on coconut oil, like there's no tomorrow, but it's not working. I also have the hands of a ninety year old and every time I move they crack and bleed [even more attractive].

HobKnob very of your childfree time!

I CBA to start potty training either! It's such a pita!

Robin - it's horrible, isn't it? The skin under my eyes cracked and bled. I tried coconut oil as well and it made absolutely no difference. I've been slathering myself in a lip balm whose main ingredient is white petrolatum (petroleum jelly) and it seems to be helping. I paid a mint for a tiny little pot of it and could've gotten a massive tub of Vaseline for the same price if I had known what it was.

I wonder if Vaseline would help - I haven't tried it. Maybe I should get a pot, it drives me mental!

Is Anyone else's two year old's default reply "no, I don't want to!" ? It's driving me mad ATM!

Shea butter is good robin and american - it feels a bit greasy like vaseline does when you put it on but it's really moisturising. My hands are really dry and cracked too. I'm having to use my steroid cream ATM on them as they keep bleeding. That's a point - would steroid cream help or is that a bit dodgy near the eyes?! Alice has oilutum bath wash and body cream free on prescription and I admit I use it probably more than she does - it's great stuff!

Took ALice to creche again today, she got al wobbly lipped when I dropped her off and then when I picked her up she was properly screaming 'mummy mummy mummy' with big tears and properly worked up . The lady said she had been very clingy sensitive. I feel bad taking her again but I hope she'll get used to it, and she said she had a good time. Good news is she was fab at her swimming lesson - really going for it and jumping in the water and kicking around etc. At last! It was so lovely to see after last week she was so upset in the water and scared.

Well, I took Alices nappy off this evening before her bath to let her run around and feel the wind between her cheeks and she weed straight away on my bedroom carpet despite alot of reminding about using the potty . Can't say I'm looking forward to potty training with cleaning up all the accidents.

reastie don't know if you remember when I was training Ims- I tried when she was about 2.3 ish and she just weed everywhere, didn't get it at all. I put her back in nappies aafter about 2 days and tried again when she ws about 2.6- she got it straight away. So wait a bit is my advice!

expat and sparkles in Russia they put Vaseline on babies faces to protect them from the cold and wind in the winter so you may be onto something there. Plus drink lots of water.

Absolute whiteout here with snow drifts about 3ft high. We're up a teeny lane and DH is watching all the cars getting stuck and debating whether to go and rescue them in the 4x4!

I've tried Shea butter Reastie :(. I've tried E45, diprobase, shea butter, oilatum, olive oil, coconut oil, normal hand creams, washing up with gloves (they seem to make it worse) everything. The only thing that seems to clear it is warmer weather but even thick gloves don't help. I don't know what the bit of dry skin around my eye is, that is new but my hands are nearly always painful. :(

I tried potty training, with DD1, when she had just turned 2. She just didn't get it and cried every time I put her on the potty! So I left it and suddenly at about 2.5 she decided to go on the potty by herself and that was that!

Hobknob I'm going to buy some Vaseline tomorrow then! Please work, I'm fed up of it!

Sounds like you need some hydrocortisone ladies. See the gp.
I'm always a late potty em trainer and agree its easier but d just dies it herself when bare bum in the mornings. She has a nappy on by ten for sure as its cold and then never mentions wah Wah
I have no intention of taking it any further until nicer weather.
I bought her sine cute pants but she hates them much prefers bare back.
Yes she will do nothing at the moment hates getting dressed having a bath brushing hair wearing a coat. She wants to wear little skirts and dresses but refuses a cardi or coat. Gets on my nerves a bit tbh.
Me and Ella just about to watch the last twilight film. Yes I know it's a school night but we have waited ages. We have curry and chocs.
Races here guys! I'm there Thursday and Friday so look out for me on tv in my big hat and fur coat (as if)

RobinSparkles Have you tried sudocreme ? Second Vaseline as well.

I didn't potty train Sofia until she was 2.5 and Olivia at 2.8 - all done and dusted in 3 days.

Anna managed to lock myself and Emma out of my mum's house today with her and Olivia inside (my Mum wasn't in). I was putting Emma in the car and Anna slammed! the front door behind us, thankfully Olivia was able to get the keys from my bag and post them out of the letterbox to me. Anna is a law unto herself at the minute. If it's not "I need ......", its a simple "don't want to ..."

Olivia was doing Sofias homework, watching Sofia do her homework and Sofia had to think of words with a double s - Olivias suggestion was "piss"

HobKnob thanks for thinking of us, Mr W is being kept busy at work but he's still relatively intact!

No snow here, a couple of snow showers earlier but it's so cold!

Ledkr, you've just described the perfect night in - curry, chocolates and a film = heaven!

Wiggles, eek, at Anna locking you out! L is the same with "I don't want to" grr. It's either that or I want - "I want mo jink" or "I want a bitdit!"

:o at Olivia suggesting Piss!

wiggs piss is hilarious!!
Dgs locked his mum out if the house when he was about 2 they were calling him thru the letterbox and watched him casually get himself a bowl of cereal! I did strict granny and demanded he let us in immediately so he poked me with a sword thru the letterbox
D likes to join me in the toilet and then look disgusted at my bodily functions cheeky mare.

Cripes, it seems literally minutes after I got home from swimming last night massive traffic gridlock all around here, we were lucky to get home as easily as we did. People stuck for hours in their cars to get home . ANyway, bad news is there's snow, good news is school is closed so I get a day off .

wiggles that is so funny

Ledkr hydrowhatsit cream - yes, that's what I use, it's great stuff.

Robin my ultimate hand cream is L'occitaine shea butter hand cream - best I've ever tried. I'm resorting to washing my hands with aqueous cream at the min as soap is irritating them too much.

Hi all, Just catching up....non official potty training, snow, dried skin, locked out of home by toddler........ok up to date now!!

Hope you are all ok and enjoying this bloody freezing weather!!

Was away at a Girl Guiding training weekend in the New Forest this weekend, was gert fab!! Missed my boys tho and was glad to get home on Sunday afternoon.

Can I push in and ask a bit of advice about my relationship with my mum. We're not particularly close and haven't been for a long time. She is very negative and I feel unsupported. I grew up being ridiculed and criticised almost, I believe, to the point of abuse. I have never confronted her on this and don't think I ever could as I don't want to hurt her, but am finding it increasingly hard to be around her. I haven't seen her since Noah's birthday party in Feb, and am meant to be going out for a belated Mothers Day meal with her and my sister in a few weeks. I choose not to see her often as I always come away feeling like shit and actually don't think I like her very much, tho I obviously love her. Its at the point now where she's gotten pissy as I didn't post her Mothers Day for Sunday, and she's cancelled the meal. I'm struggling to keep our relationship going, but as I already have no contact with my dad, or his family (altho in kind of contact with cousins and uncle and aunt since cousin died in Jan),nor do I see my mums family (my nan is not a nice person) so feel I am running out of family. What do I do? I cannot confront her.

Love you all. Best get back to work,

emski that sounds so hard! I don't really have any great advice but it's so hard to be in the same room as someone who constantly criticises you. I think I would have gotten to the point of being so that I would have exploded by now and confronted her. I think I would be so pissed of at being made to feel like crap time and time again that I would snap and her feelings wouldn't come into it. But I might just be horrible

I know what you mean about running out of family, I only have my mum and my sister and would hate to lose my mum, but on the other hand is there room, in life, for toxic people that make you feel like shit?

I would be really cross about her getting pissy about Mother's Day! She was getting a meal - what more does she want? A card on the right day? It's just a day! Mother's Day shouldn't be about cards and presents, she should be thankful that she has lovely DDs that she gets to spend time with and who want to spend time with her, although they're not going to want to if she acts like an arse!

Hello all I am just catching up too to come back and do a proper post later. However ems I garee that sounds hard, and not being funny but it shouldn't matter that your card was late and deffo not worth cancelling a meal over, it just sounds like any excuse to be petty. I agree with robin, you may be running out of family but will it benefit you to keep an unhealthy relationship going? Does she treat her grandkids well? I really feel for you, having had a fair bit of family drama recently I know how it can play on your mind. Hope you're ok.

Back later when A is in bed, am off to pick her up from nursery soon. I was mean to do a half day today but only just got home because I had so much work to do Also, funeral went as well as it could if that makes sense, glad it was done but nice to see family too (we only see each other at weddings and funerals it seems!)

ems that is really difficult. This is probably useless advice but I'd say if you're going to see her then just see her in very small and short doses it's the only way I can manage MIL if you find she has that effect on you. And then go for a jog or something afterwards to get rid of all of that pent up emotion. How does your sister feel towards her?

ponyo glad funeral went OK, I'm the same with some of my rellies too - it seems I only see them at weddings or funerals

DH and I had a massive fall out about my Grandparents inheritance earlier. He got stroppy as I said I didn't really want to give him 2k of it so he could buy trees as there are so many more IMO important things in the house for it to go on and he got in a strop and said if it were him he wouldn't use it to buy a new kitchen he would pay off his mortgage on 'his' house he rents out which he bought pre me . All a bit muddled. We never have any cross words about money usually. I think I'm sticking with my guns though.

emski have been thinking about your post earlier. I had a terrible relationship with my Mum from about the age of 10 until my early 30s. I grew up feeling I'd always disappointed her, her disapproval became the reason I had to do or not to do most things in my life. She was what would probably now be called emotionally neglectful.

It changed when I had S, but our relationship slowly began to improve because she changed. I for my part also changed and no longer gave her the power to make me feel like shit. I stopped trying to win her approval and just let her get on with it and if she wanted to see me, she could pick up the phone.

I think that she may have got some help herself with regards to her own feelings, disappointments in her life that caused her to look at how she treated me growing up.

I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say but you need to do what is best for you. Persevering with an unhealthy relationship be it with a parent, sibling, partner is not going to suddenly get easier or better. You are always going to hurt because of her treatment of you, so if she is in complete denial about your feelings, emotions I'd be tempted to scale things back and slowly withdraw.

For what its worth my Mum has never fully acknowledged how shit she treated me but sometimes I can see her look at me and I know that she knows.

Apologies if this is all a big rambly, unhelpful mess but I'm on my phone and can't preview that mixed with fat fingers probably renders my spelling piss poor as well

Thanks guys. I have downscaled my relationship with my mum quite a lot over the years, and have found it a little easier. There just isn't any effort on either of our parts and I think she knows something is wrong. I think I'll leave her to stew for a while then see how things are. I keep thinking to myself that if she was a friend I would have stopped speaking to her a long time ago, but then I know people who have lost their mums and would give anything to see them again. I just wish we could have a good relationship where we go outtogether and chat and laugh. Ponyo, she can be negative towards the kids too, lots of 'oh he's being stupid'. And 'acting like an idiot'. The kind of thing I grew up with.

Anyhoo enough about me. Reastie, if its your inheritance I would def spend it on a new kitchen and NOT bloody trees!!!! Money is always a sensitive subject though. It always has been for me and dh, especially as I came into this marriage with nothing and dh had a second house, great job, huge savings. He is good tho and never acts like those things are his only.

Blizy, I hope you are ok. Big hugs for you!

Hi to everyone else x

Oh ems that sounds so hard. I've typed a few things but they all sound a bit trite so I deleted them again. I think wisewiggles had it when she said 'I for my part also changed and no longer gave her the power to make me feel like shit. I stopped trying to win her approval and just let her get on with it'.