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Post Grad Brookers - we're in here....

999 replies

Biscuitsandtea · 17/06/2012 10:12

New thread - t'other one got full up....

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Biscuitsandtea · 18/06/2012 17:27

Jen, hope your D&V clears up soon - that sounds horrid SadThanks

Scarlet, Glad that DD is taking a bottle okay, but how annoying to be getting questions about bf all the time. It seems like one of those things where you just can't win - you've either got people who seem desperate for you to stop bf, or people who seem desperate for you to carry on bf. And ultimately different things will work for different people so you can tell everyone else to put a sock in it Smile.

The only thing that is keeping me bf at the moment is the idea of missing out bottles altogether and going straight to those little Tommee Tippee cups with the flip up spout (that's what we did with DS1). If I recall correctly they're ok from 4 months?

Anyway, must go and recover DS1 from nursery. He had his pre-school booster jabs today - talk about an overdramatic reaction Drama Queen so I'd better find him treat from somewhere Smile

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scarletfingernail · 18/06/2012 17:40

My DS is having his pre-school booster next week, the day before DD has her 1st imms. I'm not looking forward to either!

pommedechocolat · 18/06/2012 18:53

Too - no worries! Bf is an emotional thing I think. I'm glad I've got this far but would be quite happy to stop now. DD1 only ever had weight issues at 10 months when a couple of d and v bugs from nursery caused her to drop weight and they started monitoring her - she was fine by 12 months. She did also start walking at 10 months actually, nobody ever mentioned that to me... hmm! Probably just another random HV myth the carb/bf thing then.

DD2 was batshit crazy this evening post her 16 week jabs so bottle attempt went out the window! Any tips for feeding a bottle refuser anyone? Am planning a prolonged attempt Thurs pm when dd1 at nursery.

scarlet - Other people's opinions on bf are annoying. Telling dm and MIL that I'm doing a bottle will really bug the hell out of me but I think both A and I need to do it. Everyone relates to your bf experience with their own very personal feelings and it's a hard thing to deal with if you fall somewhere in the middle on the feeding issue.

Biscuitsandtea · 18/06/2012 18:59

Good luck for DS's jabs (and DD's) Scarlet. I think DS1 had got the idea of a mega-meltdown from watching ds2 have his the other week so hopefully your DS1 will shrug it all off with a stuff upper lip Smile

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TooImmatureTurtleDoves · 18/06/2012 19:07

Oooh, pre-school boosters do not sound fun! It's hard enough when they don't know what's coming. M has her 12 week jabs next Wed (at 15+5 Hmm)

M is refusing to sleep today. Since 9.30 this morning she has fallen asleep on me about 6 times but woken right up as soon as I tried to put her down. Usually she has a good mid-day nap of an hour or two, but not today. Maybe it's the new diet giving her more energy? Hmm DH has so much more energy that he came home, strimmed part of the garden, cooked dinner and is now out strimming again. Shock Am wondering if part of his depression was due to sugar highs and lows. He's also on a tighter belt notch and he says he got two compliments on his weight loss today. The scales say he's only lost 2lbs but he really looks thinner. Envy Maybe M is just hitting a growth spurt.

TooImmatureTurtleDoves · 18/06/2012 19:15

Oooh, cross-posts! Pomme, haven't tried it myself but have read somewhere that for bottle refusers, tips are to wait until they're really hungry, and then get someone else (eg DH) to offer the bottle. If you do it she may smell milk on you and refuse to take the bottle. I've also read that if you leave the house it can help - even if just go for 5 minute walk round the block - because then DH will be motivated to try for longer than if he can just hand her back to you going 'it's not working'. Not to malign your DH, but that's what mine would do - if I didn't jump in first going 'give her here, you're not doing it right'. If your DH isn't around when you want to try, what about roping in a friend?

DreamingOfPeace · 18/06/2012 19:44

Here here- I was told all the bugger off yourself or no way your bottle refuser will tips that too just said.

I love the instantaneousness of bf, and instant comfort it brings my duo and will carry on as long as possible but this time I am really frustrated with how long I spend feeding. I stubbornly ebf as everyone seems to want me to top up with formula. Even the hv Shock . The feelings around feeding run so high! I don't think a bottle is a problem at all, but everyone will give you their tuppence worth on the pros or cons... pomme, DD dropped two centile lines at 8-10 weeks ebf, from 50th to 17th centile.the hv made a big fuss, got me to take her to the gp who prescribed gaviscon (which I wanted badly at her 6 week check but by 10 weeks she was much more comfortable so i never gave it in the end), she was and is fine. Don't let anyone stress you out over her weight, and do whatever you want with feeding regardless. It is normal to drop and rise through the centiles. At 12 months DD was back at the 50th centile at her check. I've never had her weighed since...

Last night was dire. I don't know how long i can carry on, at all. We're talking about shelling out for night help. I was up 11:45, 1:15 til 2:30, 3:30, 5, 7. With loads of re-settles for 20 min or so after getting them back down. Dh says help won't make a difference, but if i could just feed and hand over for winding/settling and go back to sleep I think it'd make a huge difference. Maybe just 2 nights a week. I'd even.get expressing and have one ebm bottle each for me to have mote than 2 hours kip... (We've not been giving bottles as it increased their colic) . Have to see what it would cost and if its possible first but I'm going to go crackers otherwise.

Hope the d&v is on its way out Jen :(

Immunisations are necessary but grim.

DreamingOfPeace · 18/06/2012 19:46

What a terrible first sentence Blush . You get my drift vaguely I hope... I was told different teats/ bottles can be better for different babies too.

TooImmatureTurtleDoves · 18/06/2012 23:26

Dream, if anyone deserves night help it's you. Even maybe if the night nanny(?) took the boys away and jiggled them in a different room it would help...you'd have to see how you got on and maybe don't expect to fall asleep perfectly the first time, because you'll be on edge listening for howls. I mean, give it time, don't try it for one night and then think it'll never work. FX for a sleep solution for you!

Think we may have hit a growth spurt here - pretty much non-stop feeding all day and no napping for longer than 20 mins. M's asleep now but we'll see what happens - this could be the beginning of the end for our sleep!

ScreamIfYouWantToGoFaster · 19/06/2012 01:54

Here you are!!

Can I just say Shock at how many of you iron your DHs' shirts! I hate doing my own ironing, it has never even crossed my mind to do my DH's!?! Is it strange to ask why? Why don't they do their own shirts?

Very interested in the bfing talk. I'm another one who's not a big fan, but it hurts less now than it did and the expressing is going well so DH can help out a lot, plus I haven't ever had to bf in front of anyone other than DH, so there's no real reason for me to stop early. I was originally planning to ebf until 6 months but now I think I don't want to start weaning at the same time as transitioning to ff. Plus I'm soooooo anti the idea of bfing once there are teeth involved, and I understand teeth can turn up at any time after 4 months? So the current plan is to start the transition to ff at 5 months (or the arrival of the first tooth) and for little A to be completely ff by 6 months. I completely support everyone else's choices regarding their own bfing/ffing position. No matter what you choose, a happy Mum = a happy baby. So many of us were ff ourselves and we're all fine, really the decision is entirely personal with no wrong answers.

No Brooking for Dream to have more sleep and for Jen to get better soon.

All these stories of No Brooker babies sleeping for hours on end makes me want to cry! My DD is not thrilled with our refusal to let her co-sleep, and she's continuing to feed every hour to 90 mins throughout the night, not always going to sleep between feeds! Ugh! Both DH and I are too scared/lazy/incompetent to introduce a strict routine though. We're basically just hoping the problem will magically disappear within the next few weeks. DD is 8 weeks old on Wednesday, and we're hoping she'll settle down around 9 / 10 weeks just because we've heard of lots of other babies settling at that point despite the fact that we feed and rock her to sleep all day every day. I can't even imagine her sleeping from 8 until 1, let alone longer than that. So Envy of all the sleeping babies!

ScreamIfYouWantToGoFaster · 19/06/2012 02:20

p.s. My Shred DVD arrived today - yay! I'm excited about finally working towards shifting all this flab. I ordered 2kg handweights as well though, which turned out to be a wildly over-ambitious weight! Oops! Not sure whether to buy 1kg ones as well, or just do the routines without weights.

I hope all participants in this 30 day weightloss bootcamp are pysching themselves up for the Wednesday kick off! Would you mind reminding me of who is on board, and whether you're Shredding, dieting, or both, and I'll compile a list! We've got to keep each other motivated and Brook No Argument!

jaggythistle · 19/06/2012 03:18

how come the anti feeding with teeth thing scream if you don't mind me being a really nosey moo? Blush just curious cos you don't really notice them when they're feeding! i remember it rubbing a tiny bit when DS1's first ones came in at 6 months and he got used to it, but that was about it. i may have been lucky as he was never a biter!

too i found myself quite involved in the whole bf thing more than i expected as well. i think it's a reaction to all the negative stuff you get from people, mostly my MIL last time i guess. she was really unsupportive and spouted every myth going about bf, even DH got a bit annoyed listening to her!

I'd originally thought I'd maybe bf till i went back to work at 6 months, i was Shock at the thought of telling work i wanted to express, couldn't imagine it. certainly didn't think I'd carry on feeding past 1 year.

that was party a lazy thing too - why buy milk when I'm making free stuff. Grin

then i was carrying on till his 13 month jabs...

jaggythistle · 19/06/2012 03:25

not achieved any exercise yet, however now that I've given up all but essential ironing, that must leave more time for Wii or something.

i don't do diets (also too much effort) but i am going to get my Paul McKenna cd back out and do it again. it's all about stopping eating when you're full and not just clearing the plate automatically, not just eating for the sake of it which i do a bit. no restriction on what type of food you eat though. it is strangely effective for not too much work. :)

jaggythistle · 19/06/2012 03:33

excuse the postathon!

scream still no vast hours of sleep here for you to be Envy of, R still feeding every 2-3 hours at night I'd say with nappies etc in between. he normally reserves a good sleep for about 6/7 am just when we're up for the day with DS1. Hmm lucky he's cute.

I'm still going with the try not to think how much he's up plan, it will get better, oh yes it will...

it's working in that i don't get grumpy unless it's a particulary bad night and I'm up for hours. or like earlier on when DS1 woke up shouting just as i was away to transfer DS2, so that ate into my sleeping time!

jaggythistle · 19/06/2012 03:39

dream I've tried to explain to DH how he could help by doing some changing and settling etc with one baby, so i can see how an extra pair of hands might help. if you can just roll over after a feed and catch as much rest as you can it feels better.

it's still nigh on impossible to wake DH up so I'm just leaving him till i really need help. he always asks how it helps when I'm up feeding anyway...

brooking for lots of settling down of babies over the next few weeks!

DS2's thumb sucking attempts are getting better, he can do it for a few seconds at a time now...

ScreamIfYouWantToGoFaster · 19/06/2012 05:45

Yay for Jaggy's marathon post! I always feel better when other people write long posts, because I'm not exactly concise myself!

Jaggy it took me a long time (about 9 months!) to come around to the idea of putting my delicate sensitive nipples in the mouth of another human being, and even though I did it in the end it hurt just as much and felt just as unnatural as I expected it to. I have not come around to the idea of putting my nipple into a mouth with TEETH at all! This bfing malarkey has been both strange and painful enough to last a lifetime and I'm not up for taking it to the next level at all. That's my teeth aversion! (As a disclaimer, please also know that I don't think anyone else's decision to bf with teeth is wrong. On the contrary I feel as strongly about everyone having the right to make their own choice, as some people feel about the importance of bfing. I'm all about women being able to decide for themselves what to do with their bodies.)

Now voluntarily taking on extra ironing, such as your DH's shirts, is something I find harder to understand! GrinWink You're all clearly much more selfless wives than I am!

Fingers crossed for R's thumb sucking to improve further and lead to long sleep-filled nights!

jaggythistle · 19/06/2012 06:24

haha! i kept scrolling back on my phone and seeing bits i wanted to reply too. Blush

should really have been sleeping but was finding it hard to fall asleep. no idea why! unless it's the steroids, i know they can cause insomnia as a side effect. hopefully if my blood stays ok I'll be off them soon.

pommedechocolat · 19/06/2012 07:25

Morning all! Slightly better night here, maybe the jabs. A slept from eleven till half three then half four to half six,

However post a small four am feed she isn't interested in feeding again yet? She never seems hungry in the am which probably means she doesn't actually need all the milk in the night?

Infant feeding is a very funny bag! I find the food thIng much better!

I think some night help sounds like a great idea dream, how's dd doing now?

Loopyhasanotherbean · 19/06/2012 09:33

dream i don't know if this would be worth considering, but friends of ours had an ill child, and they put money from the husbands wages into childcare vouchers, and then used the vouchers to pay for a nursey type person to come in and look after their newborn so that they could look after their ill child (the mother breastfed the new one but that was it). Tax advantages of the vouchers made it a lot more affordable.

have you heard of www.home-start.org.uk/needsupport/need_support

they can help people with multiple children, and other situations, again i know someone who used them. I don't think they can help you overnight, but they could help in the daytime for free?

Biscuitsandtea · 19/06/2012 10:01

I think getting some help would be a great idea Dream. Not entirely sure how your DH thinks it wouldn't make any difference? Granted it won't make them less colicky or anything but it would help you! Having twins is hard. Fact. Having babies with colic is hard. Fact. Having twins with colic - well that's something else!

Also second homestart. My mum used to volunteer for them and would go EPU to her family for a few hours once or twice a week - surely worth trying? She helped all sorts of families too - multiple births, special needs children etc.

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Biscuitsandtea · 19/06/2012 10:01

Anyone seen Purple?

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TooImmatureTurtleDoves · 19/06/2012 11:13

Not seen Purple for a while. Hope everything's ok with her and little H.

HomeStart sounds good, Dream - if you had more help in the day for free it can only make things a bit better!

Scream, I'm in for Shredding and dieting. In fact, I am on Day 4 of my paleo diet and I've lost 4lbs! And I still seem to have plenty of milk - waking up with v full boobs etc. It's a bit hard-going in the mornings - I wake up feeling very hot, sweaty and shaky, but I think that's because for example, last night I had dinner at 7ish and strawberries with Greek yoghurt at 8.30ish, and then I didn't eat anything else until quarter to 10 this morning. I think tomorrow I'll try to have breakfast earlier.

This is going to sound ridiculous, but I was woken up at 3am by a bloody bluebottle! It was making a really loud buzzing noise and I woke up convinced there was a wasp in the room. It was disturbing M as well - she was wriggling, sucking her fists and making little noises, but not quite awake. I couldn't do anything about it, either. I was scared that if I tried to swat it I'd wake M up, so I just lay there hoping it would go away. I dropped off to sleep again after what seemed like ages and then M woke up at 4.20 and wouldn't go back down until 5.50. DH's alarm went off at 6.45 and he hit Snooze a few times until I begged him to get up before the alarm woke M. She slept until 9.30, yay!

I'm a bit wary of bf with teeth, I have to say! I guess I'll just take it as it comes. Both DH and I were late teething, apparently, so with luck M won't get any for a while. Besides, trying to wean/ff a grumpy, teething baby does not sound like fun!

Yay for a better night, Pomme!

Jaggy, Brooking hard that you will be off the steroids v soon. That Paul McKenna CD sounds good. It is so hard not to clear my plate! It's so ingrained in me.

Scream, I only iron DH's shirts because when he does it they wind up with more creases than before he started! And I am talking ironing one shirt every 3 months or so, for special occasions, no more. Dad used to pay me and my sister to iron his work shirts for him - it was £2 for 3 shirts. I find it quite soothing, but not enough to do it often.

TooImmatureTurtleDoves · 19/06/2012 12:40

Dream, saw this and thought of you! And this woman doesn't have twins! Lots of twin-based comments, though.

Biscuitsandtea · 19/06/2012 12:57

Ooh Dream look what Bagofholly wrote on that thread at 11:32 today - sound familiar? xx

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jaggythistle · 19/06/2012 15:13

too the Paul thing is really good. it's all about being conscious of what you're eating and not just stuffing food in which is so easy to do for me.

there's like 4 simple rules (eat when hungry, stop when you're full, drink water first to check if you're thirsty, and something else I've forgotten!) and the cd to listen to. it's quite relaxing and has a bit of positive visualisation stuff, which i could quite get into after listening to my hypnobirth ones.