FEB 2010 Terrors sometimes, angels at others - yep, they're properly two now...

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

New thread!!

SB Thanks, I'll have the lot... biscuits, wine and coffee . How are you feeling? Did the day off help?

I'm on my own with the girls until Saturday night with dh on a business trip. Today went surprisingly well considering I have to drop both off at different places, commute an hour to work, and then collect them both on my way home. Another manic day tomorrow with early start and late finish and then it's my day off on Friday which should help.

dd2 is doing quite well this week and has been absolutely fine with no accidents. Maybe the slightly colder weather is helping and she doesn't care for having wet pants . I've also realised that she wants to be totally independent so I am just letting her get on with it, only demanding to be allowed to wipe when she does a poo...

CP fx your ds improves his sleep if no boob is forthcoming

I'm okay thanks. Still in a crying mood but I'm ignoring it dealing with it. Good luck with your single handed days NK

SB - So sorry you are feeling rather depressed. I hope it passes, and I hope you are able to get some rest and recharge your batteries.

Alex had his second day settling at nursery - I left him for 20 mins of the hour and he was fine - tonight I asked him if he was nervous about going and staying by himself and he said 'No, it's fun' so that's a good sign.

CP Good news about last night's sleep.

SB sorry to hear you're feeling so down. Crying all the time is never good If you're that tired, you need a break. Can DH take DS for part of the weekend (aware your DH works weekends) and give you some real, proper time off? (NOT to do baking, laundry, housework etc!)

CP my heart just goes out to you. Yay, yay for the good night last night but oh my goodness, your DS' sleep does sound utterly dreadful. I'm afraid I'm another one who is going to say that some tough love is needed here. Babies /children really do learn very quickly and if you change your behaviour and are consistent, he will get the message. Ideally you would put him in another room but is that utterly impossible? I find it really hard to sleep when DD2 is in our room (staying with relatives etc) because she snuffles etc and I'm always on red alert, heart pounding that this is it, she's waking up. Even if she fully doesn't I'm awake half the night. So even if you had to give up your living quarters for it to work, for a few days - DS in your bedroom, you and DH in the living room (blow up bed?) - I think it would be worth it. Sleep deprivation is just the worst feeling.

I do speak a little from experience. I didn't sleep-train DD1 as I couldn't bear to, couldn't bear to hear her cry or let her cry it out, seemed too too cruel. I did night-wean her at about 11m (but I must admit she still woke to have her dummy put back in until she was about two ). With DD2 I was determined not to let her go the same way but again found it too distressing to let my baby cry. Then when she was about 8w old (young!! I know) I was just at the end of my tether, she would latch on at 10pm and stay latched on until 1 or 2am, not sleeping just suckling, I couldn't sleep, and had to be up with DD1 in the mornings, was going mad. I put my little baby in her moses basket, took her downstairs, put her in the living room, shut the door, came back up and shut our bedroom door, and was asleep in seconds. I did this for a few nights and then graduated to putting her in the spare bedroom. Inside a week she was sleeping through the night 12hours Her sleep has been up and down since but she is basically a good sleeper.

Sorry, that is long, it is meant to be encouraging you that yes it is HARD, it is heart-rending, I couldn't believe I was doing it honestly, I kept it a secret I was so ashamed, but for my sanity I had to and.... it did work.

Bc it is so great that DS loves his new nursery. Well done you for coping on your own while DP was away. I would have sent the SOS to my mum I can do most of it but I can't get my head round doing bedtimes by my own. DD1 won't sit and play quietly while I feed DD2, DD2 won't feed, it all ends up hectic and stressful.

IC great to hear you sounding so cheerful and that DS is growing so well! Go those boobs! If your DD is anything like my DD1 then it will take 9m or so for her to be interested in her little sibling.... My two are just starting to play really nicely, is is wonderful to see. Great that DH isn't too stressed with his new job either. New job and new baby is a LOT to deal with - for all of you.

NK pleased the PT is going so well for you! DD1 still refuses to potty-poo, I am going with it at the moment. Good luck with your lone parenting stint. Sounds exhausting. I take my hat off to all of you going it alone occasionally. If it's for more than one night I run to my mum or beg her to come here.

SR I am so, so pleased that your DH seems to be seeing the light. I am crossing fingers and toes that this is a sustained improvement and you do not have to keep reminding him about it. YOU DESERVE A COMMITTED, ENGAGED, EMOTIONALLY PRESENT, CARING DH AND DF. Anything less is NOT just 'male' behaviour it is unacceptable. Other DHs and DFs manage it (as you can see from your friend) so he can too. Huge hugs, I really hope you are continuing to feel part of a partnership, loved and valued, which is how you deserve to feel. You come across as a lovely, warm, caring, capable person and honestly you should be cherished.

I am feeling exhausted and burnt out at the moment but not down so that is a big improvement. We worked hard on the house last weekend and I am starting to feel really fed up of it (I am someone who loves rolling my sleeves up and getting on with projects). I JUST WANT IT DONE NOW. DD2 will be one in about 7 weeks and I would like to have a party in our house - old house was too tiny to hold parties, we always had them in the function room of a pub. I thought OF COURSE we can have her 1st bday party here, we will have it done by November!, but here we are with no front room still. I am now getting quotes to have it decorated. DH wants to go on holiday; I would rather get the front room done and have a week at home. But I suppose the poor man deserves a holiday if he really wants one. But what about the front room?

another good night and i was feeling good. then some counselling that i got referred to rang me and i completely failed to arrange a time to go in (they were being very prescriptive and wanting me to confirm to tuesday at 9am) so now I feeling all fragile again, despite feeling that I might not take up the offer as been feeling all right.

Scones your post did make me laugh. Despite the fact we would have moved come DS's birthday as we will still have a few days on the flat and DH's nan needs a downstairs toilet then DS's b'day party will be there. The space means it will fit family but can't really invite some other mums around. His birthday is four weeks today.

nk good luck

sb i hope some resolution comes your way

mous how are things your end

sr and bc hope things are still going well in your respective households

and IC you're getting some sleep

stoof do delurk if you are there, completely me posts are welcome even if it's for weeks on end.

I'm on a sausage rolls madness! I've done far to much stuffing and I know need to provide the pastry - thanksfully someone invented ready-made puff pastry so far I've made 12 rolls and I guess I can made another 10! Tomorrow is a islandwide fundraising day for a local charity so we've decided to do a cake sale at work hence the sausage rolls. DS nursery was asking for prizes for a raffle and as I didn't have anything I'm making biscuits (okay I must be mad )

Wave to all. Will probably be back later once I've finished...

De-lurking to say 'yay!' to CP on another good night. You must feel like a new woman (or, maybe it's too soon? Sometimes I feel worse when I have had a couple of nights sleep as I think my body stops running on adrenaline - and diet coke - and returns to the 'simply shagged' stage!) Hope the fragility passes again soon - it sounds like they weren't being very sympathetic at all.

Scones I know what you mean about the getting to the absolute last resort bit to sort sleeping - I've had some really judgy stuff from colleagues and my mum this week around our troubles with DS2. It doesn't help that I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do! However, what I wanted to do was to shut the door and turn off the monitor. I was amazed how cross he was making me feel when I'm normally very calm. Now I believe it's related to all the changes of a) me returning to work after 6 weeks off; b) DS1 starting school and leaving DS2 at nursery alone c) his 3 main friends moving group at nursery all within two days . This has made me find my patience again and I've reminded myself that this too shall pass... (and repeat...). Being up 8 times a night again is noooo fun!! The two-hour long wake ups thrown in to that for good measure were tipping me over the edge! DS1 has started well at school, despite being woken by his screaming/shouting brother, so that's a relief!

IC I forgot to comment on facebook about how pleased I am to hear that your DH is coping well with the new job and baby combo - not an easy time and I'm sure having a supportive wife is helping loads. Sounds like DS is doing his best to ease you all into life as a family of 4!

NK how's the solo childcare/job juggling marathon going? Hope Saturday comes quickly for you.

SB It sounds unlike you to be feeling so down. Sending a big unMN hug and hoping that a bakeathon will help you to feel better.

BC Gkad to hear DS is enjoying nursery. Sounds like a very good start. Such a relief isn't it when they are happy in childcare? It helps me go to work feeling a little more relaxed. I've found it hard planning to send DS1 to breakfast and afterschool club next week for the first time as I always felt sorry for the kids with whom I worked who had to go, but I hope he will love it too.

SR Glad to hear about the positive changes. Well done for being strong and laying down the law. I hope he can keep it up for you and that your positive feelings remain.

I have done Zumba and Body Attack this week as I was getting bored of the gym. I've reconnected with muscles that I haven't known about in 4.5 years but I am determined to lose the last 4 lbs of baby weight (if you can call it that 2.5years later!!) before my birthday. I had to run during the body attack class and was getting quite warm. Having not run since before DS2 was born, I was a little concerned at one point that my pelvic floor was not holding up, but luckily it was just me getting sweaty !!

Hi Stoof. Lovely to hear form you. Sorry to read of your poorly LOs. Hope things are starting to get back to normal for you.

Hi to everyone else - I've been off the thread so long whilst sorting out my allergy questions etc.. that I'd need to stay up all night to reply to all of you one by one. Hope to be back for good now.

Welcome back survival how did the night go? Have some

dd2 has just given herself away! Told her to please not do pipi on her sister's bed (I can't stop myself reminding her because she likes to hold as long as she can)... Response from her: 'No Mama, I'm not cross with you, I like you'
I knew it!! It really was protest peeing that she was doing because she doesn't like me working.

Thanks SB. I'm hooked back on diet coke. DS2 randomly slept for 6 hours straight last night which was fab but I'm back to normal shattered today which somehow seems worse. Hopefully, it might be a sign of things returning to normal (which is still usually a once or twice in the night get up) and I might start to feel human again.

Date night now with Dh as haven't really seen him all week so off to reconnect!

p.s. Very funny NK! I've had lots of huge hugs and kisses from DS2 today and yesterday - having lots of fun having just him on Thursday and Friday now, although I miss DS1 and will need to play more as DS2 has lost his playmate. I've seen a vulnerable side to him at the swimming session we started yesterday and I'm makng the most of every squeezy cuddle.

Happy weekend all.x

Welcome back survival and hoping tonight goes better. Your ds has quite a bit to deal with at the moment I guess. Fx it all settles down a bit.

let's see if it is working today!

CP I wrote a long post on sleep which couldn't get through, I am not going to repeat as the others said approx. the same as I did. Hope it is getting better.
You too SOTU
IC very cute, hope you are enjoying the babymoon, and your DM. good going.

NK sorry but that funny

SB take care.

Preschool is going great, DD2 loves it. She eats their soups and chicken , I am slightly hurt that she refuses those at home... (romanians are definitely not the best cooks in the world).
Not sure that it is helping her language yet, she seems to be doing exaggerated miming instead (hilarious!)
She is copying more words and sentences (FX)

She drew her first face yesterday but on the doodle thingy so I can't keep it , apparently it was "pappa"

Went shoe shopping she refused my first pick, the lady only wanted to try the pinkish boots , same design different colour but I can see things getting harder in the future .

Yoo hoo I seem to be back

Mous Good to have you back :-)

Hi mous

Swimming pool time for DS and I. Enjoy your Saturday

we're back from swimming. DD's been moved up a group and DS is blowing bubbles already only thing he can do

DS has still only been feeding 3-4 hours, more often at 4 hours. He's still not sleeping through that period and so far has been pretty settled in it, but we're not sure what to do if he gets upset in it.

I have a strange child. Earlier she asked for ice cream, but not cold ice cream please . And she regularly burst into tears at a broken biscuit (a biscuit that is broken because she has just bitten into it!).

NK

NK! They do make me laugh. I've got much more time with DS2 to enjoy his idiosyncracies - with DS1 I had an 9 month old around too which made things a bit interesting. (sound fmailiar CP?!)

CP Tha sounds like a big improvement. Does he have a dummy? Right from about day 4 when we got into a feed - burp - change - feed -burp -change cycle with DS2 we realised that he couldn't actually be hungry, despite rooting, and decided afer he'd fed the first time that we wouldn't repeat the cycle unless we'd tried the dummy first. It worked and he slept for 2 hours each 3 hour session after that (reflux accounted for, obviously). I guess if he doesn't have one, it's a case of distraction maybe? Or giving water? Even a snack might help to break the feeding in the night to get back to sleep thing (and might be easier to break in the coming weeks?)

After another 3 hour night, we're off to sleep now with DS2 on the floor on his mattress. It's amazing what you can actually achieve in a day on so little sleep over a two week period. I honestly don't think anyone would have known today (although tomorrow could be a different matter!)

Survival goodness me I do hope DS2 sleep situation improves soon. FX having him in with you will help. Three hours' sleep. I just would not be functioning at all. And you are at work aren't you.....?!

CP how is your sleep situation?

NK DD1 also cries when she breaks food in two - a biscuit, a piece of cheese - and asks for it to be put back together I have to remember not to cut her toast in half either.

Mous great that DD2 is enjoying her preschool. I'm sure she will just start speaking in full sentences one of these days! Drawing a face is brilliant too. I must get one of those doodle things, I keep meaning to.

How are you feeling SB? And IC, SR? Bc how is DS nursery going?

I have a question about DD2. She is 10.5m and for the last 10 days or so has been vomiting up her bedtime BF. Not every day but about every other day. I have cut it down to one side only, and some nights no vomits but other nights out it all comes straight away. She doesn't seem ill in herself other than a fairly heavy cold (but that is just the last few days, not whole vomiting period). I am also trying to ensure she doesn't eat 'too much' (what is too much?! ) at dinner as she is a greedy little monkey who will eat and eat and eat. I am not used to this as DD1 is just not interested in food.

I don't know whether to be worried or not. She does seem fine all day (other than the cold) and even straight after the vomit isn't bothered. But it is starting to bother me. And I don't want to stop the evening BF, it is my favourite one.

It's getting cold isn't it? Summer's properly over

could you give her the feed a bit later, either when she wakes or as a dream feed?

sleep is mixed here. He is doing 3-4 hours between feeds but still isn't sleeping really for longer than 2 hours at a time. It's been a week so far and he now has a feed at 10ish (but currently waking before hand), one around 2 and one around 6. I have to be careful not to accidentally wean him as he only has 3 day time feeds as well and I can normally miss one of those really easily.

DD is at home with me this afternoon as she had cystitis this morning. Seems to be almost better but want to rule out it turning into a UTI. Think I caught it in time but we dropped off a sample to the GPs just in case. She's no longer in pain when weeing and is able to go on the potty again.

Scones I'm not sure what to suggest about the vomiting, even though I feel I should be the expert!! Do you keep her very still after a feed finishes? Probably due to the mucous from the cold I guess (which was perhaps brewing before you realised?). I know that DS1 used o save any vomit until bedtime when he had a bad cold. I should imagine it will pass as the cold improves. When DS2 was so poorly in February, the GP reckoned he had developed gastritis which caused repeated vomiting but that was not just at one time of day. (Not sure I'm helping here so will get back to other thoughts...)

I have not only been at work but am now going to Zumba and body attack (which is like aerobics on speed, I have now discovered!!) as well as a session in the gym each week. (Dons very temporary superwoman cape!!) Unfortunately I had decided that September was the month to finally lose the last 4lbs of baby weight so I've tried to plough on through. Luckily, I am finding classes much easier to attend than trying to go in the gym on my own. The last two nights have been better. DS2 is waking, but not with the high level of distress and seems much happier in the day.

CP hope DD is better. DS1 and 2 both get 'sore wee' every now and then (tight foreskins unfortunately). I tend to find that flushing plenty of fluids through is enough to ward it off (but have taken sooo many samples to the doc for testing!!)

On that note, I fear that I may have to go back to the hospital about my nether regions. TMI alert: during my last period I found it very difficult to wee (which goes back to the need to catheterise for a month when I had each baby). I suspect this backs up my theory that my prolapses are getting worse and probably won't wait much longer before needing fixing. I was hoping for another few years so aim to ignore as long as possible!! (Sorry if I've put any of you off your tea!!) On that jolly note, I will bid you good night!

We subscribe to Love Films and they have lots of tv series. I'm now watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer!!! I haven't watch this for 15 years!!! I'm supposed to finish packing as we're going away tomorrow but I just can't be bothered

SB have a nice trip.
We are all ill, DD1 has a full blown strept throat (same symptoms as the flu), the rest of us just have a sore throat. Hopefully with the antibiotics we will like new in a few days!
The weather is miserable today (15 C and rain)
hope you are all fine it is a bit quiet here

DD just told me I'm her 'best best friend'